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Caregiving and working full time
Hi everyone - so far my mom is fine on MC. Waiting on appt with neurosurgeon to see if she’s a shunt candidate. She calls 10 times a day but is still so disoriented and relieved she has a safe place with her crucial and precious belongings (books, pictures, paintings) she is ok. Now I’m worried because I had to take off…
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Should I let estranged granddaughter visit?
My dad is 85 and has moderate dementia. He is currently in a SNF. My niece (his granddaughter) has asked to go see him and bring her 2 kids. She hasn't had any contact with him for several years and he has never met his great-grandchildren (they're both teenagers). Am I wrong to not let her visit him? When he is asked if…
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Learning about caregiving
Hi all. My mom is 78 years old and was diagnosed with dementia about a year ago. She has a bad knee that she never got operated on that is pretty much crooked. She was getting around on it although she had much pain and was caregiving my disabled dad - doing everything physical for him. Meals, laundry etc. she would forget…
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Questions for Assisted Living
Our father was recently diagnosed with LBD. Right now, he is living independently with home healthcare and family support. The family would like to start looking for possible assisted living facilities. What are some important questions we should be asking when touring these places? We've found checklists online, but I…
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Both parents have dementia
I'm new here. My dad has dementia and recently fractured his spine and fractured pelvis. Went to rehab and now slowly recuperating. He wants to drive again and I'm terrified of it. He uses a wheelchair but he's learning to walk while pushing the wheelchair around. I feel he is a flight risk. My mom also has dementia. Her…
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Dad at AL getting confused about clothing
Hello all, overall my dad is really doing well in the AL he has been in for almost 2 weeks. He has trouble with clothing. He gets confused in the morning and at night as to what to put on. Does anyone have any ideas about a way to help this. He can still read so I was thinking of making laminated signs and placing them on…
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Parent living on his own
My dad is 93 and living on his own, 2000 miles from my brother and I. He just started having delusions last week that people had been in his apartment, he had a job that takes him out of town, altho he’s not sure how that happens. We’re meeting with someone from the VA on Monday, who’s been helping him with aid and…
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My Dad thinks he needs to go to work
My father gets up in the middle of the night and thinks he needs to go to work at the business he previously owned. This started at 3:30 this morning and my mom even took him a drive to show him the store was closed. I suggested she bring him on to our house so she could lay down and get some rest. What are some ideas to…
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Mom fell. Took her to ER
My Mom was agitated and was trying to get out of the house. My Dad was trying to keep her from hurting herself, but she was pulling away from my Dad and tripped, hitting her head on a piece of furniture on the way down. Dad tried to catch her but she was fighting him and hit her head anyway. She has a decent bump, no…
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Guilty…uncomfortable 😞
My father is 84 has become obsessed with.. why I will not get back together with him. He’s constantly asking for a kiss, to touch me, telling me he’s sorry, telling me he loves me, sneaks up behind me and hugs me and if my husband of 32 years is home.. he whispers it. I remind him I’m his daughter. He says I know.…
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medical waiver for memory care
Hello everyone, Just joined today, I've been caring for my mom who has Alzheimer's for 6 years now, she lives with us, but she is progressing rather quickly now and I just can't do it any more. I've been trying to get her into a memory care facility but most are private pay. I was told to get a medical waiver but there is…
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Dealing with Family Members
Hello, I need help with dealing with my sister who puts a lot of stress on me regarding our mother's care. She decided to move to Florida 1 year ago to take care of herself, understandably, because she had cancer. Her doctor encouraged her to quit working and to avoid stress. I'm the primary caregiver for my mom, but I do…
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ER, diagnosis, grief
In the ER with my mom. As everyone suspected, this hasn’t gone well. Today she tried to leave the AL - I was with her about to meet personal caregiver. We never got to the lobby - she panicked, left, walked down the street, into a store, refused to go back saying it was unsafe. Staff members, nurse, and director stayed…
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Elderly Mother having episodes
Hi everyone I am here with a sad and heavy heart. My 74 yr old mother who lives quite a distance from me is having episodes with what I believe is Dementia. My younger sister is with her and she has health issues of her own. in the past three months my mom has been getting worse. This morning I spoke with her and she told…
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Antihistamines to Calm down Dementia Aggressiveness?
Hi, My FIL has some form of dementia, I don't know what his diagnosis was and neither my husband or his siblings seem to know. FIL is 92 and gets very physically aggressive and verbally abusive with his aides (and his family). He was started on Serequel 100 mg at night and 25 mg in the morning. Family didn't like that he…
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Online Fraud and Scams
Our father just had his second attempted scam. I was lucky enough to be walking past his room when I heard the discussion he was having over the phone. He allowed someone access to his computer to "run a virus" check. We ended the call and have contacted his credit card company, banks, and financial planner. We don't want…
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Jekyll and Hyde - Is this normal?
My dad was diagnosed with VD this year, he moved into a nice AL facility in February with, on the whole, good aids and nurses. I'll start off by saying my dad has never had a sunny disposition. Many times a week when I call him or visit, he tells me how miserable he is at his AL, and when I ask him what's going on, he…
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Moving loved one into MC
I am trying to move my mother into MC and after being very passive, she is now adamant about staying in her house (she says is her mothers who has been dead for over 55 years). How do you make this change as seamless as possible? :s :s
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Incontinence denial
I moved my dad in AL about 6 weeks ago. He's started having incontinence issues and is peeing himself all the time. He was already extremely stubborn before the dementia. He denies that he's peeing himself, refuses to wear diapers, refuses any assistance with showering or changing. If they tell him his clothes are covered…
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Dad (primary) starting to sound impatient with me (secondary)
Hello! Secondary caregiver/daughter here with questions about some new family discord that's forming between me and my father, who's the primary for my mother who has moderate/severe dementia ("probably" Alzheimers) as well as recently diagnosed giant cell arteritis. Recently Dad has started sounding impatient with me, and…
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I want to be finished
Today I went to a funeral of my friend's mother. I was jealous. JEALOUS! How horrible am I? I think very. She lost her dad three years ago. Her mom wasn't all that sick, just unlucky with a case of pneumonia. I lost my mom over 10 years ago (to cancer) and have been dealing with my dad's illness for close to 8 years now. I…
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Trying to get my mom to stop driving and except my son moving in and helping her
My mom is living in a new city for about 3 years since my dad died. She is scared to drive too far and complains all the time about it, which is fine with me because she was not driving safely before. She was going 25 in a 45 speed zone. She only drives on a back street that runs from her house behind major stores and…
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Transition from one MC to another - Guilty and Venting
My DH and I moved from California to Arizona. After we were settled, at about 6 weeks, I went back to CA to fly my Mom to AZ. I am the now the only child and the POA for Mom. The trip through the airport, the security, the airplane ride, arriving at the new MC facility all went smoothly. Mom lived in the moment and enjoyed…
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Parent diagnosed in January
Hi I am new here and feeling completely overwhelmed! My mother was diagnosed in January but the woman that tested my mother felt she has had Alz. for awhile. I am one of four siblings and 3 of the 4 live in the same city. We have divided up between us each taking a day or a portion of a day to help my mom. Errands,…
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Mom wants to change her will
Hello, Please bear with me as it's my first time posting. My mom is 91, and was recently diagnosed with moderately severe dementia. My dad died of pancreatic cancer in March, and this is the first time she has lived alone in 68 years. We have noticed signs of forgetfulness and unreasonable paranoia for the last couple of…
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New to this
My mom is currently in a skilled nursing facility due to the fact she fell down the stairs a month ago and suffered a traumatic brain injury. She is currently getting OT, PT and speech therapy but her cognitive abilities are seemingly declining. Neurologist hasn't said a particular type of dementia or if it is in fact…
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Professional Hairstylist
Hello I live in Philadelphia, Pa in West Philadelphia. I am a caregiver along with my other family members for my 77yr old Mom who was diagnosed with Alzheimer's. We are looking for a professional hairstylist who's willing to come to the house and do her hair; someone who's caring, compassionate and most of all patient. We…
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Shunt responsive NPH
neurologist just called and said looking at imaging she is fairly certain the diagnosis is shunt responsive NPH. I have an appt with neurosurgery at the top hospital next week which I already made because this neurologist was terrible and never called me back (this is the first time after having seen my mom 9 months and 1…
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At Home Care- Language/Hearing Barrier
Hello! I am new here and hoping to find some recommendations in the Dallas area. My mom has early onset and some good days and some bad days lately. Her doctor said she needs companionship at all times, but that's very hard on me and my sister as we work full time jobs. She lives with my sister and because I work from…