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How to not air so much dirty laundry (family-related)
Hello, I need a way of phrasing something about my family. The backdrop is: ================== Ever since I started caring for my mom, the rest of my family hasn't helped out. My sister and I had a descent to good relationship but once my mom got sick, she wanted to put her in a facility. Seeing how horrible the local…
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Bible Verse to Lift You Up 4/30/23
YOU AND I ARE LOVED! Romans 8:38-39 New Living Translation 38 And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow—not even the powers of hell can separate us from God’s love. 39 No power in the…
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Music therapy
My mom is in late stage AD ( we’ve been told) and has hospice care coming in and a music therapist is part of her care team. When he’s here singing with her it’s just unbelievable how different she is. Like a whole new happy person. Laughing and even joking around a bit. Normally she can’t even form a sentence. Makes me…
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Monitoring devices
My elderly parent who lives alone has early stage Alzheimer’s. She’s still doing well at the moment with caring for herself. My family and check on her throughout the day. I set up all her daily medications for the week so she does not have to worry about doing that. Since I can’t be there with her everyday, I wanted to…
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How to get help
My Mom was diagnosed in 2017 and I have been her caregiver ever since. I am trying to find help during the day, but don’t even know where to start. Trying to find out how to get financial help for her too.
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How much longer does she have?
My mom is in early stage 7 of EO AD and has declined significantly over the last two weeks. She was in geri psych for about 3 weeks due to violent behaviors, and on the day she returned to MC, with meds figured out, she was walking, giving people hugs, etc. Now, about two weeks later, she is in a wheelchair full time,…
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TAVR Procedure
Hi, My dad, 94, just got out of the hospital after a bout of pneumonia. Seems the cause pneumonia was the that my dad has aortic stenosis. Going to see the cardiologist on Thursday. My dad's stay in the hospital was very harrowing for me and him as his disease is at the mid to late stages (I don't quiet understand those…
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Bible Verse to Lift You Up 4/28/23
ANGRY? SAD? OVERWHELMED? WORRIED? * John 8:12 NKJV Then Jesus spoke to them again, saying, “I am the light of the world. He who follows Me shall not walk in darkness, but have the light of life.” * me: We get upset. We are only human, after all. But we Christians have God's wisdom and power living inside us. We are not…
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Just starting caregiver journey
My 85 year old dad is in the early stages of Alzheimer's. I am looking for information/resources for becoming his caregiver as he progresses into other stages. The perfect scenario for me would be keeping in his home as long as possible. My 84 mom is currently doing remarkably will with him, but I know eventually it will…
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My Mom has Dementia and now hates my Father
Hello! I'm new here. My Mom has dementia and directs all her anger at my father. He is a wonderful, patient man that takes care of her everyday (we are currently trying to get her into assisted living). She calls me everyday bashing him about how he takes all her clothes, pushes her around and throws out all her important…
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Sleep deprivation
My mom wakes me up several times a night saying “ I need help!”. Sometimes she’s worried that the cats going to fall off the bed, sometimes she’s cold even though it’s very warm in the house, sometimes she has no reason. I’m SO tired all the time. It’s difficult keeping my cool & staying patient with her. How do others…
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How to care for totally uncooperative parent
My sister and I care for our 101 year old dad. He is almost always uncooperative with everything we try to do to care for him. Most days I would rather wrestle an alligator than dress him. He has recently almost totally stopped walking and he no longer has control of his bowels. He fights us when we try to clean him up…
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Ice Cream
Hello, I live with my mom who is mid stage 6. Her *new behavior* is troublesome. I need to know if I should just let it go. Every night after we go to bed, I fall asleep, but she is up many times through the night...eating ice cream. I woke to 6 bowls in the sink and 2 empty containers in the trash =1 whole gallon this…
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Worn Out
My Mom is 80. One night almost 8 years ago, she seemed to have a stroke & even flatlined. She was at the hospital for 3 days with horrific hallucinations & nothing was being done until she tried “escaping” and ran into other [patient’s] room. A psychiatrist was called in & he determined she was severely depressed &…
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Mom is aspirating on solid food.
Hello everyone, My Mom has been an ALZ patient for 5 years. Recently she has been choking on her food and aspirating. She has recently returned to her nursing home after being in the hospital for aspiration and pneumonia. The doctor has ordered her to be on a pureed food diet. The problem is that she hates the food and…
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Moving LO to another state
Has anyone had to move their LO to a new facility in a different state? My mom lives about 4 hours away and I am looking into moving her into a memory care facility by me. Does anyone have any recommendations for arranging transportation? Thank you.
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Need help for Mom in denial
My dad has Alzheimer's, and is in stage six. Mom refuses to get help from others, and she is in denial that we need to pay a caregiver to watch out for him. Dad has been such a huge part of her life, and I know that if we get a caregiver, for Mom, it would be like admitting that Dad is going to go soon. Is there anyway to…
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Flying blind
Mom was diagnosed about 4 years ago. We've been using her geriatric primary care doc. When I asked him if we should find a Neurologist, he said they wouldn't do anything for her that he couldn't do. But I feel like I'm flying blind and don't know what to expect next. Should I find a Neurologist for more specific guidance?…
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Toilet behaviors...
Dad had started putting toilet paper in the trash can instead of the toilet, so I took the trash can out of the bathroom. Then he started putting little balls of paper in the fake plants. So, those are gone from his bathroom. He puts little balls of paper in his pockets, or under the sink now. I have been trying to remind…
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"I can't do this"
My 83 yo Mom has alzheimers. She often repeats the phrase "I can't do this" when she gets frustrated or confused. Sometimes she says "I can't do this anymore", over and over. Does anyone else's loved one say this? Does it mean she is giving up?
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Obsessive Behavior
Hello. This is my first post and it may have been discussed elsewhere. My Father is in what o believe the middle stage of dementia. He is very obsessed with toilet paper. Like he’s so worried about peeing himself, which he doesn’t, that he loads his pants down with toilet paper. He wears depends and a pad. Then shoves a…
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Staring off in to space
My dad has been living with us since mid-pandemic (9/2020) and used to like listening to music and reading cooking magazines in the mornings no problem. I have tried lots of things, like folding towels - his executive function isn't there anymore so he can't do that, coloring - he hates that, he has never liked puzzles…
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Not using the toilet
My almost 79 year old mother is going to the bathroom in a bucket because she thinks we’ve had a guy out at the house stating that the plumbing is bad. I’ve tried putting notes up in each of the bathrooms that the plumbing is working. I’ve told me mother that I’m not using a bucket as my bathroom. Anything I say her…
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Hallucinations? Late stage
Hello all, My mom has stage six if not stage seven, but she has been having hallucinations for quite some time, almost a few years now. She believes she has sons (I am her only child), and that there are people coming over or are already here. She used to buy food for them when we still let her do the shopping. Now they…
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Can patient on hospice move to better facility
My mother with dementia is in a nursing home and now has hospice care. My Father was there with her/ same room, and he was communicating for her, but he passed away. Her care is not as good now. They do not have memory care there. Also she keeps falling, probably on her way to bathroom. Will she now qualify for better…
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Resources for nursing home patient
My mother has Altheimer's and was admitted to a Nursing Home facility just few weeks ago. I have researched in my area and couldn't find a place with bilingual staff and/or bilingual patients. I wonder if there is a local resource that provides visitation for patients like my mom who don't speak English. My mom's native…
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Bible Verse To Lift You Up 4/24/23
“TRAILING CLOUDS OF GLORY” * John 1:12 New Living Translation But to all who believed him and accepted him, he gave the right to become children of God. * “Humans are more than flesh and blood. We are of the divine. We come, as Wordsworth said, ‘trailing clouds of glory…from God, who is our home.’ And when we pass from…
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Moving my dad into MC
We are moving my 94 year old father into MC. I don't know how to tell him this. He won't remember the conversation 10 minutes later and will get extremely agitated in the moment. The thought of taking him there and leaving him is tearing me apart. I hate thinking of him being there all confused, not knowing where he is or…
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Daughters caregiver rights Hawaii ,Pay has been cut off .
I am the youngest daughter careing for my 83 yr old mom with middle stage dementia ( not formally diagnosed).She has been living in my cottage for 1 year now with her 15 year old dog ,the love of her life.After a Small bowel obstuction surgery and 10 days in the hospital ,my mom had quite a big decline in her memory and…
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Getting parents in CCRC
My mom has advanced alzheimers with mixed dementia. My quadruple bypass diabetic type 2 father is her primary caregiver and he refuses to plan long term for him or hers. My mom needs 24 hour care and he refuses to do anything about it other than a having one woman from care.com come in a few hours a week to cook for him.…