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Urine Smell / Odor Neutralizers
My dads body and his room and clothes are all washed daily. in recent weeks though I cannot get the smell of urine out of his room and the hallway. Any suggestions for candles or odor neutralizers?
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Mom and a Phone
I recently moved my mom to memory care. Her phone did not go with her. I need some backup thoughts and insights from fellow caregivers in this matter. My mom has grown obsessed with her lack of phone. Every day she pesters staff about her lack of a phone and threatens to sue them. The staff has been asking me, suggesting…
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Mom says we hit her....NOT!
Hi All! I had had my mother transported to the ER by ambulance. She fell and had a humungous purple bruise on her forhead. She seemed okay but I wanted to get her checked out. When the EMTs arrived and we were all talking back and forth she told someone that "they always hit me". Which is, of course, not true. I gasped and…
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Answering Questions
My wife is in care. I have gotten used to deflecting questions like "When is Mom coming" (Moms dead 15 years) and "When will the others get here?" (there are no others. But still find it hard to answer: "Am I going to be here the rest of my life?" and "Why can't I visit home?" Very soon after I leave she is off doing some…
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After Independent L and 2 ALs, they are back at home!
My Mom (88) and her 30-year companion Jim (97) lived with us in the MIL-suite downstairs from 2008 -17 when they agreed to go to independent living and we would downsize from a 6-bed, 3 level to a one level 3/2/2 cluster home. My DH and I were looking forward to this change. I’ve been retired for a few years and DH is…
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Just tired
Hi y’all. Only child of a 73 year old battling dementia. Didn’t have nearly the issues until October of last year when the doctor put her on the poison known as cipro. From that point on, Mom now talks of dead relatives being alive, extra people in the house and stories that you know didn’t happen. We are now on the stay…
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Really long hospital stay
This is kind of an update. A small rant too. My mom with Parkinson's Dementia and severe mobility issues was admitted into the Geriatric Psych unit at the hospital on July 3! She is still there. She was hitting and kicking staff and residents at her memory care at assisted living. For all this time I was hoping that they'd…
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Mom Removing Clothes and Blankets
My 90 y/o Mom had a stroke and is home where my family is providing 24/7 care. Mom has been diagnosed with dementia post-stroke. She is impulsively removing her clothes and blankets. In the middle of the night, no matter how many times we put everything back in place, within an hour, she's removing everything again. What…
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DPOA & financial institutions requiring extra documents
Hi everyone, I am in the long and tedious process of taking over my parents super messy financial situation (we're talking years of unpaid taxes among other things!). Anyways one thing they did right was several years ago they gave me and my sister DPOA in case we ever needed it, thank goodness. Well now I have heard back…
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Joy
So yesterday we had a cold front move through with a lot of wind behind it--gusts between 40-60 mph; cool and perfectly clear. I was sitting outside in front of our house on the grass throwing the frizbee for my GSD, and letting my little Havanese sun himself and warm up (he is a breed from Cuba and hates being cold). We…
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Resentment(3)
My dad died in March 2021 of dementia at the age of 92. He had been in a nursing home w/dementia for 4 yrs.My mother was diagnosed with dementia 3 yrs ago and they were in the same building, eating meals together but not much else. Of course, this was during lockdown at the nursing homes when my dad passed. She is now 90.…
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Need help finding a facility in the 757
Hello friends, We are in the virginia beach area and are looking for any assistance with finding a memory care facility for my mother and father in-law that accepts new patients where they can live together and most importantly live if they are non-ambulatory (meaning they may not be able to walk or get out of bed). We are…
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Hello French.
Dear French, You are in my prayers this morning. I’m sending good wishes that everything goes well with the court today.
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How to help my husband?
New here. My MIL was diagnosed with ALZ in August, 2021. However, I have suspected and believed that she really should have been diagnosed in 2018. Her children wanted to believe the PCP so much, they followed him when he said she would be okay if they could get her sleep figured out. I never believed that and had to…
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Dad is difficult and needs to move to MC
Hello friends, Long time since I have written a post. I guess I am at my wits end. After almost 5 years of caring for my dad it has been pretty evident of how to proceed until now. Dad lives alone as he is very strong willed and easy to anger man that has insisted on staying at home alone in "his house". I totally wanted…
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I have got to get this off of my mind
or I may go off the deep end. Alzheimer's disease has taken my mother thru no fault of her own and my dad has made the choice to let it take him too due to NOT BRINGING IN PROFESSIONAL HELP. That is HIS decision, NOT MINE. I am so sick of this scenario I could scream. HE has also made the decision to remain living 500…
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Beware digital medical records
Digital medical records are a great advance in medical care. The patient, or advocate, doesn’t need to repeat the history every medical visit. But beware; a mistake in one provider’s notes will carry over to every subsequent visit. My wife had a bad experience the last month, which was actually caused by a mistake made…
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filing for guardianship and getting bonded
Been a little while, but we've (my siblings and I) officially filed for guardianship for my father. He and stepmother should get served today or tomorrow. Official emergency hearing date is November 15th. Dad was assigned an attorney ad lidem. On the upside, my dad has stopped complaining that I am interfering and started…
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From a good friend of mine Norrms McNamara
https://www.torbayweekly.co.uk/news/all-care-staff-need-to-be-dementia-trained-8411490
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This is not how it is supposed to be.
Everyone ~ hello! I started this thread after a Womens gathering in our church and seeing a speaker give a wonderful talk that relates to SOOO many of the things that a caregiver can relate to. The above subject is the title to her book - in which she shared her own personal story. Being new to this select group that no…
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MC Falling Short of Care Plan
A large portion of mom's rent is her "care" portion, as it should be. However, up until the past couple months, she really hasn't needed much direct care. By MC standards, she's been very independent. That's no longer the case. It became apparent that she was dealing with some incontinence and cleaning issues, and was no…
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How to let my LO know she has Alzheimer's - Mood over Memory
Hello all! This is my 1st time posting to this group. My wife and I are caregivers for my 87 YO mother who was diagnosed last year (September '20) with Alz. I know she knows she has a memory problem, but we don't say she has alz as Mom is a worrier; and I don't want to make her anxious. One thing that has stuck with us…
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How to start
Hello-Newbie here! My MIL was diagnosed with ALZ early in 2021. She is still able to live independently right now, but no longer drives. I am her POA and take her to all her md appointments, the store as necessary, etc. My husband (her son) and my son try to get together with her every week for dinner consistently and we…
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Thank You Harsh Buzzed!
A sincere thank you for the link to Understanding the Dementia Experience! I wish I had read this years ago, it seems I've read just about everything else I could get my hands on. You do so much to help all of us here! You are appreciated.
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Siblings and Mom's AD
Mom has been living relatively ok in AL for 4 years with managed meds and other support. With mid-stage AL Mom has with noticeable changes in memory and behavior over the duration. The number of behavior "incidents" (yelling at staff, swearing, etc.) with staff have increased over the last several months. Her doctor has…
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Holistic Care of LO
Do any of you get frustrated with medical staff when you take your LO to appointments and try to get them to understand your LO's inability to comprehend and process what they are being told? I have had several instances of taking my mother who has Alzheimers Dementia and who lives in an AL / MC facility to doctor…
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Podcasts for ALZ/Dementia Caregivers (includes ep about the MC journey)
Hi All, I wanted to share some podcasts I've found helpful as I navigate my mom's dementia and caring for her. I found them on Apple Podcasts, but they may be avail through other players like Stitcher, etc. 1. Experiences in Caregiving; Stories and Support for Caregivers (Alz. Association of San Diego/Imperial Chapter) :…
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Is this the end?(1)
My mother has had a steep trajectory with this disease. She went from a mild/moderate diagnosis to severe dementia in one year. She was living alone in her own home until about 6 months ago. We placed her into MC in March 2021. She has always been active and walked/paced for hours each day. We are now on our 3rd facility.…
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Newbie here(2)
Hey there, My father was recently diagosed with dementia/Altzheimer's (almost 80 yrs old) He also also suffered from severe massive depressive disorder this past year and last. My assumption is he has had Altzheimers for longer than we might have known/ diagnosed. Currenlty, he is living in a personal care facility b/c of…
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Moved to MC
Hi All. We had to make the difficult decision to move our LO to a memory care facility. We took her two weeks ago and luckily we didn't have to wait a long time to go visit. I have heard that some places make you wait 10 days - 2 weeks so they can get used to the new routine. We're happy with the place we chose. The staff…