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How to answer if your DH says he is dying.
My DH is in the late stages of dementia. He has difficulty swallowing, and has lost nearly 40 lbs. He is wheelchair bound, sleeping a lot, and is double incontinent. During this Christmas season, the MC facility where is lives is having a lot of entertainment come in. Their performances are mostly Christmas music. He…
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Different respite question
Because my husband is on Hospice, I can get a three day respite. He would go to a Hospice house that is secure. My question is this: What would things be like once he came back to our home? Would he be more confused? Would it make things worse with his behaviors? Can anyone comment on their own experiences with their LO…
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Hurt Feelings
A bit of background. I’m 69, my DH is 81. We have been together 35 years. I was a widow with two young daughters. He was divorced with no children. He raised my girls and they love him. We have 3 grandchildren. About 6 years ago we did a living trust with both girls splitting whatever we have. Last night, out of the blue,…
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Wants to constantly use the bathroom.
Hi I am new looking for some advise on maybe how to distract my person from this behavior. My DH is in moderate stage Alz. He does not understand time and has just started becoming obsessed about using the bathroom to urinate. He will use the bathroom and a few minutes later wants try again and of course cannot go and…
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I’ve never lived there.
Tonight my DH asked me to take him to the city he grew up in, home. He even recited his old childhood address which no longer exists. I asked him if he ever lived in _________(the name of our town). He said no, I’ve never lived there, but I did live in Chicago for 11 yrs. I thought how sad, all the memories in our house…
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Alcohol and dementia
My DH was diagnosed with early onset dementia 3 months ago. It was suggested he limit alcohol to 2 or 3 drinks a day. He has been regularly drinking each day at mid-afternoon and passes out by 6 pm for a couple of hours. He cut back briefly but he’s gradually increasing again. We had an argument about it tonight and I got…
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Don't know where we are in this
My 65 y.o. DH was diagnosed with early stage Alzheimer's this past July. I know things haven't been right for a couple years even before the diagnosis. I didn't know much of anything about AD and I'm trying to learn. He is still fully functional, has a lot of trouble remembering words, losing his train of thought, working…
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Accusations
i am new to the group….my DH has early stage dementia..he hasnt been tested as he refuses…the accusations and delusions are getting much more frequent..the dr prescribed meds for his anxiety but he is refusing to take all his meds as he says i am trying to kill him….he is with me always..refuses to have me go anywhere on…
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UTI
DH had a low grade fever this morn, 99.7, gave aspirin, agitated more than norm. I used the home UTI test strip and showed positive for UTI. We went to ER with urine sample in hand. ER said couldn't use the sample, no problem, cause DH soon needed to relieve himself again. ER tested fresh sample and said negative for UTI.…
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A resource for guilt and resentment
I found a resource to help myself, and anyone who struggles w/resentment and the guilt that comes with it. As I was listening to the audiobook version of The Unexpected Journey by Emma Heming-Willis for at least the fourth time, one chapter really struck me this time… Chapter Six: Expect an Array of Emotions. In this…
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Whyyyy!!!?????
I can't do this. I lost my love Luis (46 yo eoa) just yesterday morning but it feels much longer. I cried going to bed last night thinking what do I do tomorrow? He won't be in the bedroom when I get up, with his legs up in the fetal position cycling them back and forth. Who is going to watch me get ready in the morning…
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It's been four months since DW died
I am hanging in , mostly.
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Update: Mood swings and anger issues
I want to think everyone who responded to my last post. That night I got a call from hospice to discuss my wife’s condition. I mentioned her anger and was told that the memory care staff had Lorazepam on hand that they could give her with my permission. I said that was alright with me and was told it would be passed on. On…
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cant do it anymore
I have finally reached breaking point to look after my dad anymore too many obsticales by his ex wife who is involved . if i walk away am i a bad person
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How to have patience and not start resenting your spouse.
Hi: My DW has had VD for 3 years and I'm the sole care giver. It's 24/7 year-round. Today she woke me screaming to come wipe her bottom. Yes, I have had to do many times, but to get woke up out of a deep sleep to her screaming clean my bottom. I almost lost my temper; how does someone not get up start resenting your…
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Speech Therapy
I am just wondering what are the thoughts on speech therapy. My DH has VD about stage 6 and advanced aphasia. I am beginning to feel like a bad person because I have not taken him to a Speech Therapist. It was brought up in conversation with a Dementia Support worker. He can’t remember instructions and definitely finds…
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Xmas
Every year we celebrate xmas here. There is 13 people. My Dh didn't do well at Thanksgiving here,there was about 20. So i really don't know what to do. I want to spend xmas with my kids but Thanksgiving was stressful. He was agitated and hateful. I tried keeping him distracted and a place for him to get away,did not work.…
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Am I a bad person
I wake up every morning and pray that God gives me the strength and patience to get through another day of caring for my DW. She is in late stage 5/ early stage 6 and we have been on this journey a little over 3 years. Lately she has just cried every day wanting to go home and asking for her deceased parents and saying she…
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Trying to plan ahead
Sorry! I hit a key I shouldn’t have! I run a bed and breakfast in our home. I just love doing this. It’s good for me and it’s good for my husband with AD……so far! He’s probably in Stage 5 or so. He’s still functional but needs guidance. He is able to help me in the kitchen (dishes and clean up) and really wants to! He can…
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What Is Looking After Yourself
This might seem a bit silly but it’s said to me often by medical staff “look after yourself” Could I ask what does everyone do to look after themselves. Apart from getting enough sleep which is hard, is it a frame of mind, time out on your own once or twice a week and then where do you go. When you have a baby you never…
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Thank you
I have been mainly reading posts on this for two years. It helped. I lost my dear husband this Saturday. It was a peaceful profound and passing. His room was filled with love and music. Having an iron clad molt really helped. When the Er doctors mentioned a respirator, we knew to say no. He had comfort care only. Thank you…
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Trying to plan ag
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Intimacy.
Moderators. R we allowed to asked questions about intimacy? The issue was I was showing my wife of 45 years, and I became visibly aroused. She got highly agitated and started filing her hands etc. I was able to get her out of the shower and calmed downed. this has never happened since she has had dementia. Has anyone else…
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Question
What do the two icons in the upper right and the bottom corner of posts mean? How do I comment on a posts?
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Thank you all who had time to listen
I just want to say thank you to all of you who listened to me earlier in the year, as a new caregiver, to my husband who was diagnosed with HF and Vascular dementia in January 2025. He passed away on Friday, 11/28/205, peacefully. The dementia took it's full course and not the HF. He blew through Stage 3 to Stage 7 in 8…
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Agitation
My DH has recently had episodes of being delusional and gets agitated because he’s so confused. Does anyone know if there are medications that are good for occasional use in this situation. How about THC gummies or other varieties? Any input is appreciated.
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Using an agency for respite
I have two caregivers who come each week, 3 hour shifts 3 times a week. I don't think they are available for longer periods as they have regular schedules. I would like to take a 4-5 day break after the holidays —maybe go visit my sister in San Francisco. The agency I work with has sent nice people so far, but for a break…
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Siblings lack of understanding
My DH was diagnosed with AD. He told his siblings and encouraged them to look for information about the disease. One sister is in the medical field. One brother is an educator. Another sister worked with individuals with disabilities. There is one other brother and one other sister. They do not understand their brother's…
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Functional Cognitive Disorder
I have a spouse that suffers with this and I am learning how to navigate this process with him. How can you help a spouse learn new things, but also want to make sure you have the patience to help them during the process.
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Just need to talk to my friends (212)
Time to go to bed and watch tv a while. It's been a long day. Hope all of you have a good nights sleep. Thought I would start 212 while I thought about it. Good night.