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MCF Had to Call 911 Again
I can't sleep. So here I am. This post will come across as ramblings because it probably is. DH got combative again when 3 staff tried to change him to get ready for bed. He took his night meds, too. Yet, he fought them and pushed one of the staff who fell onto the floor and got bruised up. DH wouldn't settle down. So 911…
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40th wedding anniversary
So today is our 40th wedding anniversary. Of course my DH now is well into stage 6 and recently put on hospice. He doesn’t recognize me anymore, let alone aware it’s our anniversary. Funny how your mind knows this day will just be another caregiver day. No flowers, no special dinner or weekend away to celebrate. But my…
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My DH was just diagnosed with Alz
My Dh was just diagnosed with early stages of Alzheimer’s. He’s doing well now but we are both overwhelmed with making decision s for the future. Do we stay in our home of 45 years or downsize to an adult community? If we stay put, how to prepare to make home safe? How and where do I get help when I need it? What legal…
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Darkness today
Dementia is torture. It is agony. It chips away bit by bit. It will take tiny pieces for awhile and then it takes a big shocking hunk that makes you feel like you can't breathe.
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New definition of a bad day
Found DH on his hands and knees in the bathroom with poop everywhere. He was trying to clean it up by putting chunks down the shower drain. I managed to get that stopped and got him in the shower while I cleaned up the floor and the toilet. Then I scrubbed him thoroughly and got him dried and dressed. Then I started the…
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Memory care outings-hows that work for everyone
I had to quickly make some big decisions this week. My DH had a trip to the emergency room and then admitted to the hospital. He is not safe to return home. I have secured a room for him in a MCF. All he talks about is getting out of the hospital and going home. I'm sonqorried about the transition. His doctors have told me…
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DRESSING UP
Has anyone ever gotten dressed and only find out you have 2 different shoes on or find out your t-shirt is on inside out and your pants on back wards I have. The other night I put my pj's on and my wife said look at your pj's you have them on inside out.
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Update on brain donation and autopsy
I posted yesterday about my DW, aged 72, with the rare Semantic Variant of Primary Progressive Aphasia, svPPA, also known by its shorthand Semantic Dementia. She is still hanging on and I have no idea for how much longer, but hospice advised me to start looking into her final arrangements. I have been in contact with the…
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Understanding new sleep patterns
DH has been in "Memory Care" for 4 months, and has progressed significantly in that time. I use quotes around Memory Care because I have never been so disappointed in our health care system and society overall as I am with where he is residing. Nothing I was told when moving him there has been done to make his stay…
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Intelgenx shows cognitive improvement
In April I posted here about the Emory University montelukast Alzheimer's trial. The trial results showed that one group of participants showed cognitive improvement. However the results were suspect because the group showing improvement was the placebo group. The group supposedly treated with montelukast continued to…
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Running out of steam
my DH is in Alzheimer’s stage 6b according to the doctors. We’re about 7 years in and I’m questioning being able to proceed to the end of this journey. I feel so guilty and selfish when I read about all of you who are lovingly caring for your loved ones beyond where I am. I am 62 and still working full time. I can mostly…
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I made it through my first day and night.
I want to thank everyone who posted to give me prayers and encouragement as I struggled through placing my precious Tommy in his new home at a wonderful memory care center. It was one of the toughest things I ever did but I had so many friends who texted and called and came to visit I feel like it’s going to be okay. He…
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Can’t believe it
DH took a shower today without being asked cajoled etc etc etc. It has been at least 2years since this has happened. I am happily dumbfounded. I complimented him and he replied “It doesn’t take much to make you happy does it?” I answered Yes, it doesn’t take much. Praise the Lord!
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Uncomfortable question
My DH watched his parents both go through Alzheimer's/Dementia and it terrified him. He always said "if I ever get like that please let me take my life". He was serious. Now he is at the beginning of this awful disease and on numerous occasions he has said to please let him take his life and "please don't let me live like…
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How to tell them about a death?
I found out ths morning that my bf (45 eoa) his cousin was in an accident and passed away. We have a commitment ceremony happening in 2 weeks. His mom decided to not tell him about his cousin because she wants him to focus on the ceremony and we will tell him after. We don't know what state that may put him in as this is…
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Packing up to go home
I just put my DH in memory care yesterday. This morning the nurse said he had everything packed up to go home. She said he didn’t sleep all night and wouldn’t even take his clothes off last night. Now he’s crying today saying he doesn’t understand why he had to be there. I’ve been told not to go visit for at least a week.…
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Cabin in the country
we have never been on a vacation as a family more than a few nights but I took a leap of faith and booked a cabin. My husband with FTD and three kids will hopefully have good weather. My husband and I always loved camping so these are easier trips as the woods always look like our old camping days…nothing odd or scary new…
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Lessons I've learned about "Memory Care"
I've previously made reference to lessons I've learned since placing my DH in the memory care unit on 4/1. Here are some of them. Hopefully others can add to the list and it will help others as they make this step with their loved one. Nursing care and Memory Care are two different things. Many Memory Care facilities are…
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Trying to make life altering decisions and. . .
Well meaning and good friends who are retired nurses and worked in most every field at the VA. I was talking about the hospice care and the meds the, well respected hospice doctor put her on. All I heard was how those drugs don't interact and make sure the hospice company isn't experimenting. Why would they experiment?…
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Humor: Telling Alexa on me!
In the #sometimesyougottalaugh... My sweet Jack is arguing with Alexa 🤣😂😁 There was a short story on Audible with Judd Hirsh (from Taxi) playing a retired guy who's wife died. She was named Alexa, so when his daughter bought him the Alexa speaker, he thought she named it Alexa. Anyway, it's a sweet story where he struggled…
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How to approach MC
Hello all. Like so many of you, I have had to make the difficult decision to place my DH in MC. I have secured an “apartment “ and will plan to move him at the end of the month. He still puts on a good show, but had severe loss of words which makes him hard to converse with. He has difficulty choosing clothes and would not…
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I'm afraid... Update on my DH Lonny - sorry long post
UPDATE 8/11/24: Lonny is now unable to swallow although he passed a swallow test a few days ago. His mouth is open all the time. Social Services will call me tomorrow morning to set up Hospice. 😢Pray his passing is peaceful and he doesn’t suffer. 🙏Background: My DH was stage 5-early 6 last December when I was diagnosed…
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Early Anger
As I've mentioned before, MRI shows my DW has Microvascular Ischemic Disease. What I'm experiencing from her at this point, besides the forgetfulness & minor confusion is a hair trigger anger, usually directed at me. Is this normal? I've tried to get her to go to talk to someone but refuses. She had a very cold childhood,…
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Heartbroken
I’m sitting here in the early morning barely able to breathe with grief. Tomorrow I’m taking my precious DH to his new home at a beautiful memory care facility. I just pray he’ll have peace and contentment in his new home. If any of you are prayer warriors please just pray that my sweet Tommy is safe and happy. He’s not…
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Sainthood
Looks like my application cannot be filed just yet, because I'm about to whine and complain like crazy. Ha! The way I interact with my DW is so dramatically different than 4 years ago. I take the blame for everything, I am patient to the point of ridiculousness. I sit and watch tv shows without moving for hours on end when…
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To the ER or not?
My DW has an abscess just outside of her private part, I know I can just say it but the contract doctor says that if antibiotics don't work in a couple of days she needs to go to the ER. God I hope not. Waiting hours in the ER with an advanced Alzheimer's wife in full incontinence and hysterics is not something I want to…
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Have I made a mistake?
I'm hoping this will make sense and that someone can help me with my thought process. MY DH, 76, was diagnosed with dementia 13 years ago. It progressed slowly until his back surgery when he was under general anesthesia for 5 hours about 5 yrs ago after which he was never the same - hallucinations, paranoia and nonexistent…
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Strange eating habits
My husband has got to where if he starts snacking on something he will eat until it is all gone. For instance, I bought about 2 lbs of grapes this morning. Husband ate all of them within 2 hours. And I noticed other day, we had a 3 lb bag tangerines. He ate half of them in one day. I finally hid them from him. Is this just…
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Medication
My Dh is in stage 4 alz. 74y/o. Has VD also. Has not been taking his medicine. I set them up for him. He also has a lot of other medical problems. This morning I ask him if needed to remind him( he gets very angry) or does he just not want to take them. He has been like this for about 2 weeks. He said he would let me know…
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Possible cancer diagnosis
My DH has been in memory care for 6 months at stage 5. His recent blood test showed a PSA number high enough (20+) to indicate likely prostate cancer. He is scheduled for a CT scan on Monday and his PCP has recommended he see a urologist. I'm jittery. I understand most prostate cancer, especially at his age (75) is not…