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Repetitive questions
How do you deal with the repetitive questions? My DH is driving me nuts. He will ask the same question 8 times or more in the course of 15 or 20 mins. Then later it will start all over. I know it is not his fault but my patience is wearing thin. I have my own health problems (Pancreatic cancer) which he is oblivious to( no…
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When to cancel the cell phone line
My DW is in stage 5. In the past few months, she has lost complete interest in even trying to use her cell phone. She has not gotten a meaningful call or text on her phone in months. I have been moving all her accounts to my phone number. Every month when I pay the cell phone bill it makes me feel financially stupid. The…
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Advice for surgery?
Hi - it’s been a minute since I’ve posted. I hope everyone is doing as well as they can. I’m here because I could use a little advice. I’m going to be having surgery later in the spring. There is a 4-6 week recovery period, including up to 2 weeks of bed rest. My husband is well cared for in his facility. What I’m trying…
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Retirement
Well. I worked full-time during these last six+ years of solo caregiving as my DW has progressed to now Stage 5. I’ve been losing my mojo every year of this, with this past year ending up with me completely burnt out. I am lucky, my employer is a Family Medical Leave Act employer,, so I’ve taken the last 1.5 months off on…
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Feeling So Sad
what do you do when sadness overtakes you. Today coming home in the car with my DH of 54 years he asked who are you?
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Falling apart
It feels like everything is just falling to pieces. I feel like my family is imploding and no matter how hard I try to hold everyone together we're all falling apart in our own self destructive ways. We're in our 40's and DH has EO still in early stages. We got the diagnosis about a year ago and he's still (understandably)…
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Doubting my caregiving
posted tonight about how DH just won’t stay away from me with his awful cold - not Covid yay! Now have a sore throat headache sneezing and cannot take anything. I asked him why he can’t just stay upstairs so I don’t get sick and surprise he said he doesn’t want to. I am really feeling that I am not the best caregiver for…
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I'm ready for adult day care
I have concluded that I have to have help with this. My wife has stage 5 AD and my 50 year old son has a stew of cognitive disorders, and I am the caretaker for both. He lives in an RCF and she lives with me. Taking the two of them anywhere is very stressful for me and them, because they trigger each other. DW needs 24/7…
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Guilt
My DH is in the Severe part of this awful disease and in MC. He has been refusing his meds at times and is experiencing agitation, anxiety and aggression. I have not been visiting because I know that I am a trigger for his anxiety and want him to remain as calm as he can for his own peace of mind and for the staff that…
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Adjustable Bed?
DH will (hopefully) be coming home from rehab in the next few weeks. He’s recovering from a fractured tibia. PT is rough because he can’t follow direction well and doesn’t remember what they’re asking him to do. He is in distress every day here, and his anxiety and (growing) agitation is through the roof. But he is very…
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Illness
Made last minute arrangements to watch my grandkids. DH was napping when they arrived and when he woke up, came downstairs, he was coughing a lot! Convinced him to go back upstairs so as not to get the kids sick. It was an issue all afternoon- and I understand that but after they left he insisted on staying with me as I…
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Thank goodness for the waterproof mattress protector
DH had a urinary accident in the bed last night. His disposable briefs could not handle all the fluid. DH's jammies were soaked. The fitted sheet, flat sheet, regular mattress pad and water proof crib pad were soaked. THANKS GOODNESS for the waterproof mattress protector. We use the 6 sided model with the zipper. It saved…
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I'm ashamed of myself.
I'm ashamed of myself. This morning I wasn't the kind understanding person I strive to be with my DW. Let me explain. I'm 82 years old and have had large dogs all my life. About 2-1/2 years ago we rescued an 16 month old (80 pound) boxer mix. She is a great dog, maybe the sweetest dog I've ever had with people; however,…
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First post
My wife age 66 has Alzheimer’s. As you have to make decisions such as taking her car away… she is very upset and doesn’t understand why.. what is best way to explain why since she still thinks nothing is wrong with her
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PWD Reading with a Tremor
Wondering if anyone has found a device of some sort that I can place a newspaper or magazine on so my DW can try to read. Her family has a genetic essential tremor and the dementia has made it worse from her. She's always liked reading magazines and the newpaper, but her hands shake too much now for her to hold it. If I…
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Choosing a MC
I put my DH in a MC in August of 2024. Once he was there he began to progress rapidly. Today he is mostly agitated and aggressive - they continue to try to find meds to help him. When I chose the MC he was in I really did not do my due diligence. I opted for the one he is in because it was close and the staff seemed to be…
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Update on bringing him home
I brought my DH home from MC a month ago, after he had been there for a year. So far it is going reasonably well. It's tiring and stressful, of course, but nowhere near as bad as it was a year ago. Between new meds and, probably, the progression of the disease, he is calmer and easier to redirect. He's usually sweet and…
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Distract/Defuse
Really in the weeds today. DW in an obsessive loop of anger about her iPad not working properly. Often happens because she gets lost in some obscure site. The tablet often keeps her occupied and happy, but it’s also a curse! Someone helped me with those “Absolutes” , but I’m really at a loss many times on how to get out of…
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Hallucinating
HI - I am new to this. My husband has been diagnosed with Alzheimer's. Yesterday he told me he saw a man outside our house and wanted to know who and why. In the back of his mind, he thinks I am seeing someone, which I would never do. I am with him almost 24/7 accept when I go to the market or run errands. When I do go, he…
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Act Normally as if Nothing is Wrong
My wife is a solid ALZ Stage 5. She can no longer cook, drive, use her computer, use a phone, repeats the same questions again and again, and many other things. She is totally dependent on me and she wants me to be with her 24/7. I can't leave her alone. However, through it all I have treated her as if nothing is wrong and…
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Foot amputation
My 71 yo DH is stage 6 and has lived in MC since Sept. 2024. In November, a podiatrist clipped his toenails. A few days later his big toe developed gangrene. I took him to the hospital's wound care center and they tried to clear up the gangrene with Santyl, but it didn't work. The gangrene spread down the toe. A Doppler…
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Gene Hackman's death
This is a sobering story for caregivers. We have to think about what would happen if something terrible happened to us, who would care for our loved one with dementia? Do you have anyone who checks on you regularly? I heard of one case in which the wife caregiver had a serious fall and broke something. She couldn't get to…
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And now cancer along with everything else
We have just been told that DH has renal cell carcinoma. We have a visit with a specialist in a few weeks. I really just want to know what the prognosis is for his cancer. He has many other health issues in addition to Alzheimer's, so I do not expect there to be a cancer treatment that would be warranted. I want him to be…
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Husband
I’m new here and desperately hopeful I can connect. It’s been about 7 years for my husband diagnoses and lately he is sleeping a lot, has trouble finding words and forgetting almost immediately. Not sure where to turn for information on his progression. Thank you in advance
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new to group
My DH was diagnosed 3 years ago with VD, he also has diabetes..When I look back, I know it started sooner. He is progressing and I am facing new challenges like driving, of course I have the keys but everyday he will ask.
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Leqembi infusions
We're looking into getting my DW on Leqembi infusions. Can anyone using this Med tell me if it works or causes more harm?
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Showers
My DW believes that she showers often but does not. Gets super offended when I mention it. Any thoughts on how to approach the topic?
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Grand tour
On My lunch break today went and visited the possible facility for my bf (45yo eoa, stage 6). I cried my whole drive there kept it together while walking up to the office then when asked how i could be helped the tears just fell. I did manage to get my words out. The lady who does the admissions was on lunch. Then as I was…
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Hygiene and related matters
looking for ideas about how to get my wife to wash her hair (or let me do it) and clip her nails. Once I can get that far I will move on to getting her to shower (am having shower chair and grip bars installed this week). She also refuses to let me bring in a physical therapist, even though she can barely walk up stairs…
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What do you do when you visit your loved one in MC?
I'm asking because there are times when I leave the MC feeling rather holow inside. Our son was here this week and he said he wished he could do something with his dad besides play rummy. He wanted to do something that would be meaningful for him. I understood since I have the same feelings at times. When I visit, we hug…