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Hospice to Stage 8 in 35 Days
I'm heartbroken at the loss of my LO. He took his last breath at 5.15 am today while I held him in my arms. I am thankful I was able to keep my promise to keep him home until the end. It was gut wrenching to watch the life leave him. I guess we all know the day will come to let them go but I thought we would have more…
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What is the best incontinence brief for men?
I know this has been asked before, but we are just now dealing with urinary incontinence with my DH. He is in memory care, but the product they use is chafing the inside of his thighs, not to mention that it also doesn't work very well. I would prefer to provide him with something comfortable and effective. Thank you all…
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Help
Maybe I'm a failure at this. I know I shouldn't argue, and I try hard not to, but what do you do when your DH gets so angry at things? (Not physically ever at all, but starts swearing and telling him I am never on his side or never agree, etc). I am on edge every minute. I'm really trying - I even got a prescription for…
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I have a legal question about POAs
My brother has (finally) signed POAs. He assigned his stepdaughter as his primary. He once told me that I'm mentioned as a successor agent, but I'm not sure whether I'm second or third. Anyway, his stepdaughter just gave birth on Saturday. She said she can't serve in that capacity and has asked if I can do that. I think…
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I never thought about this !!!!
first let me say I love this site. But after feeling sorry for myself I thought of how lucky I am to have found this group. That being said I was thinking about how many lives do you think have been destroyed by this illness to the very young. And what I mean is at 40-55 to be married and not realize what’s wrong or even…
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Life expectancy for FTD
My husband has been diagnosed with FTD. I think he’s had it for at least 5 years. He is 64. I’m trying to make a decision about whether to extend his life insurance policy which will be expiring soon. Does anyone have an idea with early onset FTD what his life expectancy might be? My guess is he’s in the later middle…
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Three Magical Words
My DW and I have gone through a 7-year journey since a 2015 stroke. As many of you have described, we have had very difficult moments. This may not sound profound, but I have found that when we are at our most stressful moments if we just say to each other "I love you!" peace enters our world together. I have to believe…
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Paying taxes once a year by withholding from an IRA distribution
Small hint that many people don't know about. We both have pensions Social security and IRAs. Because of DWs medical expenses I don't often know my tax situation till the end of the year. So I have no taxes withheld from the pensions or social security but instead pay the taxes as a withholding in December (both federal…
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My Long Boring Story ….
Being from Canada I was lucky to find this wonderful Forum where one can express their inner most thoughts. Having said that, I feel that i will be able to relieve some of my stress by putting pen to paper to relieve my stress. I am 75 years old and my pretty and physically fit wife is 70. I had a good job and my wife ran…
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Things have progressed
I haven't posted here in quite a while, but things with my Significant other/life partner have progressed recently. At first, her only problem was short term memory loss which was easy for me to deal with. A few months ago, she started sleeping all day, often 16-18 hours a day. She also was getting no exercise and was…
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Death of sibling
Friday night my DH'S younger brother passed away. He is one of 7 and this is the first to die. I am having a hard time figuring out how to tell him and what to do about wake?/funeral? Any suggestions? I did call Alz Ass and talked to a lovely gal who gave me some suggestions. Just wanted to see if anyone has gone through…
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Frustrated with the system at KP
DH was diagnosed with MCI 3 years ago after an MRI showed evidence of an old parietal stroke. He has 2 more strokes in the last 2 years and he was finally seen at the memory clinic in May. Cognitive impairment, possible early VD was the outcome. Reassess him in 6 mo. Called to get Nov appt and was told 2 staff quit and he…
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Bible Verse to Lift You Up 10/20/24
WORKING FOR PEACE Psalm 4:8 NLT "In peace I will lie down and sleep, for you alone, O Lord, will keep me safe." Matthew 5:9 NLT Jesus' Words "God blesses those who work for peace, for they will be called the children of God." THINK ABOUT THIS Do you lose peace often? If so... What tends to make you lose peace? Have you…
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DH doesn’t think we are married
my DH with vascular dementia and Alzheimer’s doesn’t recognize our home as his, doesn’t think we are married and has moved into a different bedroom. He tells me he’s not comfortable here and needs to move. Is it time for MC?
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Legal and Financial Transition
MY DH is in early stages of dementia, but I can see it accelerating. We need to shift responsibilities to me and also to our adult son. Though we own our assets and make decisions jointly, and it was he who insisted we revisit (together) our wills recently (thank goodness) DH has held the legal/financial reins for over 40…
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Sundowner
My wife has advanced dementia. 2 months ago she fell down from the top stair and suffered a TBI. She is in pretty bad shape. Physically she's not bad. Mentally equal to a 4-5 year old. She is 63. The hardest part of the day is 3:00. When sundown starts she gets desperate thinking she's done something wrong. Nobody loves…
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Seroquel too strong?
The doc recently prescribed it. My DW is small framed, which is perhaps a factor. But the first day she took it at breakfast - wham! - she fell asleep 2 hours later, woke up for 2 hours, then out (hard) again. I called the physician, said cut the pill in half tomorrow. I will try it but am still worried this will be too…
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My dear husband has left me
My dear husband died Friday morning, with me by his side, in his bed at memory care. The seven weeks leading up to this were probably the worst of both of our lives. I took him to the hospital on August 14 after two weeks of trying to deal with his spiraling agitation at home. Five days into that hospital stay, he stopped…
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And another question - this one about being able to judge the heat of water
My DH takes showers with help from me. Yesterday I realized he didn't have any towels, and I left him in the shower to go get some. When I came back (in probably 2 minutes) the bathroom was completely steamed up, and I stuck my hand in the water and it was so hot!!!! He used to take tepid showers because he hated hot…
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Is a diagnosis of any benefit?
Just left the third neurologist we've seen in the past year. Background: Last year Oct 2023 my husband was having problem with executive functions. He walked our neighborhood several times a day, went shopping with me, but easily surrendered his drivers license, and all control of our finances to me. This Oct 2024, he…
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Just venting
I know most of you have been through this, just need to let some of it out. How do you deal with all the negative and getting angry at the least thing. Maybe angry is the wrong word. Dh can't stand the dogs to bark or the least little wait or what he precedes as not the way it should be. I'm always wrong or it's my fault.…
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Traumatic Head Injury and Rapid Decline
Several months ago, my DW was assaulted by an employee at her MCF. The attack resulted in serious injury to her head and a couple of weeks in the hospital. Prior to the injury DW could perform all Activities of Daily Living quite well. I was able to take her out of the facility for dinner and rides around town. To be sure,…
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Early incontinence question
I would appreciate a little counsel. My DW with is still pretty self sufficient. She was diagnosed about a three years ago. She has had just three accidents over the past few months. She also has anosognosia and doesn't have a clue why she's had the urinary accidents. Each time she's had an episode it was when we were…
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The essence of living in limbo
So my son and his fiancee are planning a destination wedding in the spring. This ought to be unadulterated happiness....but honestly, my first thought is how much easier it would be if my partner is gone before then, how much more I could enjoy it if I didn't have to worry about getting back. And of course I feel guilty…
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Progression from hospitalizations?
My DH has been hospitalized repeatedly this summer for aggression/agitation. After each hospitalization he seems a little worse. He gets better, but not back to where he was. Last Sunday he went from the Geri-psych unit to the ER and then a medical floor with aspiration pneumonia. The doctors say his pneumonia is…
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I Just Don't Care About Work Anymore
As many of you know, we moved from the SF Bay Area about two years ago to a small, rural town far, far north. We thought then that my DW might just have exhaustion from the stress of 17-years as a caregiver for both of her parents who had dementia. I was lucky to get a good job in my field up here, but the rest as a cure…
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Need to talk to someone
My husband is 73. I did not know about anosognosia and I was so relieved to read about it on this site. We moved to another state 5 years ago (right before COVID) to be closer to our daughter, her husband and our grandson. It has been a rough transition for my husband. COVID kept us from meeting new people and my husband…
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First MC Visit
I haven't been to visit my wife since placing her in the memory care facility on the 22nd. The thought of seeing her fills me with dread. I'm worried about how we'll both handle the emotions, and I fear she might think I'm there to take her home, which would cause her unnecessary pain. The activity director and the rest of…
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Veterans Home
Is there anyone else other me who has Dementia and is on the waiting list to get in to a Veterans home like I am? I'm on the list to get into the new Veterans home near Boston and it is state of the art each veteran has his own bedroom and bathroom.