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Resources for spouse?
Are there any support groups specifically for spouses of Alz patients? The spouse dynamic is VERY different from the child dynamic. I’m really struggling with the intimacy aspect and desperately need to talk with people who understand.
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Another step down
Since his stay in the ER, my DH has continued to deteriorate. Before, he could speak a little and was able to recognize me and say he loved me. Now, he is not speaking, is eating very little, and sleeping pretty much all of the time. As I live 3 hours distant from the MC, it is devastating to make the trip and not have any…
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First Bout of Pneumonia
A week ago, Monday, had the ambulance take DW to the hospital with what turned out to be right lobe pneumonia. 2 1/2 days in and got her right back home. Week later, she's made almost a complete recovery. Pleased with the nursing she received; CNAs needed prodding though on skills for 1 on 1 feedings, fall risk precautions…
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Am I being written out of DH history?
DH is in ES stage ALZ, but most likely moving into MS. Married 65 years. This week DH has told two stories from our joint history where he has written me out of the story for the most part. What he did was to take credit for things that I had done. I don't care so much about that as I am wondering if this is a "thing" that…
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BIBLE VERSE TO LIFT YOU UP 10/11/24
GOOD WORKS/MUCH FRUIT John 15:5 NIV JESUS’ WORDS “I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit...” Ephesians 2:8-10 NIV “For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God—not by works, so that no one can boast. For…
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Learning to communicate again
My DW is in her fourth year with Alzhiemers. Lately I find that I have more difficulty understanding what she says. She is unaware thratedat what she says is not always what she means. I get frustrated and that does not help.
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New Here
My DH of 64 years has had signs of some dementia for over 20 years. His Mother and her siblings all had full blown Alzheimer’s before they died. So it wasn’t hard to think that he might have it. About 3 years ago it came to a point that I just couldn’t cope and I finally talked to our primary care Dr. who we also consider…
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Enter into their reality…@
❤️
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Seeing DH slowly fade away
The worse part of visiting is leaving & driving 3 hours back to an empty house. The worse part is also seeing the other veterans there that are farther along in their dementia journey knowing what's coming for my DH. This weekly refreshed reminders of loss & grief are dragging me down.
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Early On-Set Rate of Down-Slide?
Hello, My DH has been living with aphasia for the last 2 years and was only recently (within the last month) diagnosed with AD. Since the diagnosis, he appears to be rapidly devolving - - anxiety about a number of different world events (hurricanes, war, covid, etc.) and amnestic symptoms, neither of which had been an…
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Leaving alone
This may be an obvious question, but I'd still like your thoughts. All of the literature says don't leave your person with dementia alone after a certain stage. My husband is clearly stage 5. However, he absolutely does not wander (doesn't leave the house), doesn't try to use appliances, pretty much sits in his chair when…
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How to answer DH's questions?
Here I am, on a beautiful Saturday, all alone, wallowing in self-pity. The need to visit DH is upon me now—ready or not—as he has a telehealth appointment with his neurologist coming up soon and I need to be present for that. Guilt has weighed heavily on me ever since I decided not to visit him after the first visit last…
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Good ways to talk to DH's doctor?
Hi all! DH has a PCP doctor appointment on Wednesday and I usually attend with him. The doctor is aware of DH cognitive issues and is fairly saavy and I usually update her the day before by leaving a message with issues, details, requests. The doc can throw me under the bus sometimes in the appointment by saying, "you wife…
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Help! I am second-guessing my decisions
My DH got COVID last month. For all of his 33-day hospitalization, they forced in to stay in bed (for falls precaution) and would restrain him much of the time. They barely walked him because he required 2 people (staffing issues or laziness?). PT might have come around 4 times in the 33 days. He was transferred to a rehab…
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Robotic therapy cat
I thought about getting a cat at one time but most of the responders on this forum discouraged the idea and I agreed with them that it would be too much stress for me as he gets worse. Even now he leaves the door open a lot so I’d be constantly worried the cat would get out. I’ve been thinking about the robotic cats and…
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My lifeblood is in MC
Hi all, I have not been of much help lately, have not been able to post. As of last Thursday, my Guy has been in a memory care unit, He had a paralysis in mid August, went to hospital for a week, then to a TCU for several weeks.. Now to a memory care facility that, actually, I could live in for $500 more a month. Diagnosis…
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Rapid Decline
My DH dropped 3 points on the MMSE in 6 months. I was told this is rapid decline. His score is 18 but they said he has/had high cognitive reserves. I put him at a solid stage 5 with a foot in stage 6 on Tam Cummings. Has anybody experienced this with their LO? Does it continue dropping at a rapid rate or can it be a one…
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I Would Pay Money for a Little Anosognosia
As my DW loses her ability to speak and has started becoming more anxious and paranoid, she will say to me, "I am about to lose it all." and then she'll cry. So I cry and think of how utterly unfair it is that she knows, really knows that her brain is failing her. I know her thinking she has nothing wrong would bring it's…
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Early On-set sadness
My DH seems to be advancing rapidly in his disease; he is only 61. I feel guilty that it's because I can't provide the level of care he needs. We've made too many trips to the ER lately. Most recently, he fell out of bed, tripped on a metal step stool, broke it, and then snapped the stabilizing bar, and it stabbed him in…
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Don’t know what to respond
My DH has just moved to a new MC after he was “dumped” in the ER by the prior facility. He is now getting great care, but the stay in the ER did a lot of damage. He cannot walk, has vision problems and his speech, which was poor, has become almost unintelligible. So he has lost the ability to communicate with the care…
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New at this. HELP
My wife has short term memory loss, higher than normal fear levels, general agitation and breaks down and cries far too often and easily. Don't know how to get into her world and probably support and help. Need advice and counsel ASAP.
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Looking in the rear view mirror
Why do we spend so much time on looking in the rear view mirror? It is so useless. We ask ourselves those questions that have no satisfactory answers. We torture ourselves with guilt, regret, resentment and remorse. Why? We complain that it is so unfair that our retirement that was dreamed of and planned for ends up in…
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Tired
My wife is in the beginning stages she forgets a lot of daily conversations and can’t find the right words to make a sentence. I like to go exercise walk but can only be gone for two hours. She wakes up mad at me almost every day. I go walking daily just to have me time. I take care of everything, finances, cooking,…
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What I miss the most
No question just how I feel. I have had a couple of drinks and am sitting in an empty house thinking (drinking and thinking maybe a dangerous combination). I have been married for 49 years and during the first 25 years I thought we had as close to perfect marriage as possible. the last 24 years has been much less than…
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Checking on Butterfly Wings
just aware of your absence, hope things are okay…
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It's time
My husband's progression keeps marching on. His gait has been unsteady and this week he had a bad fall. In the end he had some bad bruising, but thankfully no other injuries. He's had two more falls since. I'm finally accepting that I can't keep him safely at home. I've started the process to place him. I hate this so…
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Lots of strangers coming and going at home
I started with in home care for my DH back in the summer. I'll be honest, I was so overwhelmed at the time, that just having a few hours to myself was amazing. I also had to hire contractors to do many things my husband use to do or that we would do together. I went through 3 cleaning services alone, not to mention the…
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Medicare visit
Just a vent. My Dh had a Medicare yearly visit yesterday. Most all of you know the questions that it entities. When it came to the memory (clock )he couldn't do it . Became very agitated. I had the na stop it. She was not happy. I explain he already has the diagnosis and there is no sense in upsetting him. Just FYI last…
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Incontinence (fecal)
need to buy depends or whatever is out there for hubby with fecal incontinence. He has accidents during the night. Thank god so far not in the bed but he can’t seem to get to toilet on time and it happens on his way to bathroom. There goes another pair of underwear. I’m hoping there’s something that’s close to looking like…
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Suffering from anxiety
I am only child in my late 50. Lost my mom to same disease 15 yrs ago. Now my dad . He has been in rehab/assisting living for year now. How do deal with sundown around 6pm he wants me to pick him and take him out. He curses and slams things around his room. This causes me anxiety and my blood pressure goes up. Sometimes I…