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Just need to talk to my friends (195)
Hi. Thought I'd start 195 tonight so we can begin posting on it in the morning. Supposed to.be very windy tomorrow so will have to take down the flag so it won't blow away or break the flag pole. Hope you all get a good night's sleep. See you in the morning.
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So strange how their mind works...
We'll never know what's really going on in their mind…sometimes I write down the occasional really strange behavior but yesterday's was a doozy. DH went out the front door to check out what's going on like he always does. He came back in the house holding a dead rabbit! So I'm kind of freaking out and I tell him to go put…
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thinking of her
Tonight I'm sitting here in my recliner, half lit on bourbon, while my wife of 53 years sleeps on the couch next to me. I started thinking about how caring for her 24/7 has become my routine, and how much I miss some of the seemingly simple things she used to do for me… She would cook these tasty little yellow potatoes…
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Communication
We are so frustrated. I don’t always know how to help him. My husband tries really hard to start a conversation with me or express a concern or fear he has. Sometimes I can only pick out a couple of words. I have no idea what he is trying to tell me. Sometimes I can read between the lines and go with my gut on what he is…
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Books that were recommended to me
The Social Worker, Tessa, at The Memory Center Clinic (Dept of Neurology) at the University of Chicago Medicine recommended these 2 books to me, at Ray's appt last Fri. Have any of you checked these out? I read the reviews over at Amazon.com. I ordered these. I'm a retired dinosaur RN. "Travelers to Unimaginable Lands" by…
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Everywhere at the end of time
“My dearest wife, is this how the world seems to you? Dear God in heaven.” “Everywhere at the end of time,” a six-album recording by Leyland Kirby “The Caretaker,” was released over a three-year period between 2016 and 2019. It is an art-music creation that takes the listener though the stages of Alzheimer’s and dementia,…
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Sensitive situation
this topic I have not seen anywhere on this sight and am somewhat hesitant to bring it up. My DW has become very sexual To the point that it takes a big piece of the day. I was wondering if anyone else has had this situation and how to handle it. I just don’t want it to become so bad that it occurs at inappropriate times.…
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Not sure what to say when he doesn’t remember
We had some friends over for dinner last night and had a great time. My DH today is asking when everyone is coming over. I said they were all here last night for dinner and he said “I wasn’t there!” or “You had them over without me”. I just don’t know how to respond to this type of thing. He does this frequently. Any…
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Anyone ever attempted an RV trip with a cognitively impaired spouse???
Leaving soon in an RV trip to the Oregon Coast. I have realistic expectations and am hoping for 1 more trip up the Oregon Coast. We have many great memories of previous trips and hoping to take one more trip together while he still remembers. Bitter sweet for sure but wanting to do it for him and for me. Anyone RV'd with…
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Help. How do you handle it?
I really need some advice. My DH is aware of what is going on. He is not into ANY hobbies, unfortunately. He used to be a private pilot and we owned a plane, then we moved onto a boat for 8 years, in the far past he liked making model planes, but that is far past his capacity now. He really has no interest in doing…
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Men’s support group
I know there is a men’s support group called Light Lounge, found in a 2022 discussion thread. Are there any other men’s support groups you have knowledge of?
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itchy skin?
For the past several months, DH has had itchy skin—chest and back—after getting out of shower and when getting up/dressed in the morning. I know hot showers can cause this, he has actually "toned down" his prior hot showers. He doesn't scratch, but wants some cortizone cream put on places he meticulously points out.…
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Respite care for a vacation
As I waffle about MC placement, I know that what I really want is to take a vacation, by myself, preferably for 2 weeks. I have no family who would be free to care for DH. MC facilities in Tucson advertise respite care but they will say "only if we have a bed available" which makes it hard to plan. Has anyone successfully…
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The dreaded has finally happened
my sweet DH has just begun to not know who I am. Lately he’s been asking me what my name is. He used to shadow me all the time but now it’s only intermittent. He used to say my name a 100 times a day and then he started asking me what my name is. The other day I told him and he looked at me and asked if I was his sister.…
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So very weary...
Visited DH today for a couple of hours. Not very responsive, couldn't get him to look toward me while taking a picture. Last week he was tapping his hands on everything (table, his legs, etc.) Now he's rubbing the palms of his hands constantly. Then he started rubbing my hands. Aide says he is eating everything but has to…
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Interesting Article on Liver Disease and Dementia Misdiagnosis
The attached article is about Liver Disease and Dementia Misdiagnosis. I actually have a close friend who was diagnosed with an unspecified dementia and he lost his job, home and driver’s license due to his cognitive decline. A few years after his dementia diagnosis he was treated for Hepatitis C with one of the newer…
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Looking for memory facilities-what to look for
I am starting the unbelievable search for a facility for my DH. He is not there yet but I don't want to wait until he is in crisis. Any suggestions? This is breaking my heart and is the hardest thing I have ever had to do. To admit I can't take care of him anymore is killing me.
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Respite
I'm a nearly two weeks out from my magical respite. I hope to never forget the feeling of those days alone, knowing my DW was having fun with her family. My stress and anger and despair was alleviated in a huge way from it. The flip side is that it's made room for grief again. I've been crying like crazy the past few days.…
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Seroquel
I’m new to the community. My dad has dementia these past 5 years on namenda and donezepil. Lately he has started so sundown and will start having these episodes of looking for his wallet and blaming my mom (main caregiver) she’s stealing his money. Our doctor said to try seroquel but I’m scared as when I’m reading about…
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Middle of the night convo made me laugh
DH: (Sleeping soundly, suddenly asks a thoughtful question at 2 a.m.): ”Are you fixing…my…” Me: (holding my breath a tad, in interpretation-prep mode. Not sure where this is going or what it will mean for the rest of the wee hours I was hoping to just sleep) DH:… “Trans-ma-tazz-ma-tay-shun?” Me: (Thinking. Stumped!) “Uhh,…
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Does it really matter what we call it??
My DH has hadcognitive issues for many years. I noticed it when I retired 12 yrs ago. Executive function deficits, no initiative. Withdrawn, apathy. He was in denial. 6 yrs ago physical problems manifested. Sitting most of day, extreme chronic constipation, balance issues, autonomic dysfunction, nightly sleep problems.…
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Missing my life
just missing that “Someone loves me “ feeling 🥲
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Hospitalization for agitation-round 3
As some of you know, my DH spent much of last month hospitalized for aggressive behavior at his memory care. He spent a month at 2 different Geri psych hospital units, with a four-day break at his memory care between hospitalizations. This time he made it two weeks before getting sent out of his memory care for taking a…
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Seeing the worst in me
I’m new to ALZConnect. but have cared for my wife over the last five years as she has suffered with mild cognitive impairment. The formal Alzheimer’s diagnosis came 12/ 2024 and she is declining more rapidly. My DW has always been controlling, and recently started accusing me of steamrolling decisions without her consent.…
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Caregiver costs
I am at the stage with my DH that I may be needing care during the night so I can get sleep. Due to the cost of caregivers for 12 hrs, it is cost prohibitive. Any ideas?
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In home care for DH
I am caring for my DH and finding it harder by the day. DH is incontinent at night, which means changing clothes, sometimes bedding, anyone else out there have the same issue. Sometimes twice a night. He wears depends and an inner pad. Because of being up with him, I am exhausted, as I am tge sole caregiver at night.…
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Leqembi
Curious if anyone has seen any improvement with their loved one receiving infusions. My DH has had 10 and we have a long way to go but I’m not feeling very hopeful.
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Hiw many spouses sleep in another room?
My DH gets extremely anxious and agitated, sundowning is in full effect at our house. My husband is up and down all night long. Good nights 15x, many nights 25+. I can't take care of him if I'm not getting any sleep. Dr tried respiridine and trazadine but they decreased his BP to critical levels, 70/50. Off those meds, BP…
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Spouse is aware of memory loss
Just wondering if anyone has a loved one who is aware of their memory loss. My DH will realize he is forgetting things. He is worse than what he thinks he is at. He absolutely refused to do the neuro-psych test to see where he is at. He has no physical issues to cause dementia so he was diagnosed with ALZ. My mom with…
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ravastigmine vs donepezil
My DH's neurologist seems very knowledgable and nice but sometimes things confuse me. My DH was taking donepezil, but the neurologist switched him to revastigmine because he takes escitolopram for depression and apparently there is a risk from taking donepezil with escitalopram. From what I have seen it looks like a…