-
Dementia and explosive fireworks
I don't know how it is in your area but in my area, my neighorhood end entire city, people are lighting off fireworks that sound like canons. This will be the first firework holiday where I won't be able to comfort my DW during those times. I'm concerned, because she'll be in her room all alone, she'll freak out becoming…
-
Seizures
DW with late stage early on-set had a seizure at home last Friday. Called 911 and EMTs transported her to local hospital, where she had another seizure in the ER. She was admitted and stayed in the hospital for 5 days. The first two days she did not wake up. They did a number of diagnostic tests but didn't determine a…
-
55-year-old Early Onset: advice about WHEN he should leave work??
Hello, We are wading through so many stressful planning sessions these days. Currently our BIGGEST confusion is when/under what circumstances should my husband leave his job? He's only 55 and in the early stages of the disease. We have three kids living at home (21, 18, and 11) He's a candidate for Leqembi, which—if our…
-
An update
I've been off this site for a while due to Covid and a computer crash. But….things are much better. As many of you know, my husband went into memory care recently and I have had a very hard time accepting the situation. I finally decided that if I can't accept it, I have to figure out how to realistically bring him back…
-
Fits of crying
My beautiful queen of 61 years has been in a memory care facility suffering from dementia for one year now. I'm having great difficulty coping with her not being under this roof. Practically every day I have these fits of crying. I often feel that I am going to die of a broken heart 💔
-
Obsessed with his facial hair
Several months ago, my DH began obsessing about his facial hair. He was asking me to either help or find someone to help to get the hair off his face. Every day, sometimes multiple times a day, he rubs his face and says "I've been asking for help but nobody, including you, helps me." He can still shave himself, although I…
-
I haven't seen you in days/weeks/months...
My DW is now delusional: she thinks I'm never here. She will say "I haven't seen you in weeks. Where do you live? Where have you been? Who were you with?" Hearing this has been deeply frustrating and distressing, and I don't know how to respond. Needless to say, I am here all the time. Approaching this rationally, I've…
-
Neurologist
My DH was diagnosed with Alz in early 2022. We have since moved to NC to be closer to family. Currently we are using the VA for medical doctors. I now feel we need a private practice neurologist. How do I find one that is good? My DH sleeps most of the day in his recliner, but then tells me he's not sleeping… He is 78. I'm…
-
Frustration and denial
Hi, I’m new to this group and I was wondering how do other people cope with the frustration and denial that arises from oneself by living with a spouse with mild cognitive impairment. Communication has progressively declined. It’s like we speak 2 different languages and this sparks confrontations. He is in denial of his…
-
Father fears running out of money, how to redirect?
My dad is 86 years old with mild diagnosed dementia (he can remember things from 50 years ago but forgets that he ate 15 minutes ago or the conversation that he just had). There has been a slow cognitive decline over the last few years. He becomes fixated on one thing or another, whether it's the tv in his room (he never…
-
Can I do this…?
It’s late here, and I’m tired. I’m currently the major support person for my two older siblings along with my DH with Alzheimer’s. Today has been an all dayer, split between brother and husband. As I’m reading the forum each night after the lights are turned off, I see all you faithful warriors out there, giving it your…
-
Contented Dementia Book
My husband was just diagnosed and I am reading about SPECAL care. This has helped tremendously. The book uses the metaphor of “old photographs”….. things in long term memory. When considering this, why would my spouse do odd things like put the tuna can in the freezer? Wouldn’t that be in your long term memory? Please…
-
My DH called me a name today...
This morning my DH called me a b**ch. I'm so angry & sad. Not at him but at the disease and disappointed in myself that I lost my temper with him. He was diagnosed 2 years ago with frontal memory loss unknown type. They can't do an MRI because he has leads in his heart from triple heart bypass in 2015. The VA won't do a…
-
Different day different symptom
ok every time I think I have a handle on dealing with this awful illness something happens to upset the apple cart once again! The “ have patience, he can’t help it, it’s out of your control, it’s the dementia thing has helped but then you get a series of Oh my God moments!! Apparently DH’s memory is fading as he can’t…
-
The never ending Geri psych saga
My DH will hopefully get out of his Geri psych unit next Monday. The APRN switched him to Risperidone, which seems to be working well, with no side effects yet. I had found a new geriatric psychiatrist that was supposed to do a telehealth visit in a week so my DH could continue on his new medication. Today I found out that…
-
Advice on staying away after moving spouse to AL?
I moved my ES DH into assisted living 2 months ago and it was the right thing to do. We were in crisis and I couldn't keep him or me safe or take care of him. But he is struggling with the move and is getting more anxious, fearful, and dependent on me being there. I have been going every day and leaving at the same time…
-
putting keyed locks on closets and spare bedroom doors
OK, I completely lost it today, and the worst part of it is.... I have no remorse. The free style urinating by DH is out of control. I've put barriers up in front of doors to bedrooms, and that worked for awhile, but today, he removed a hamper and a baby gate and was about to pee(again) on the brand new bedding . I had…
-
New name, old member
I've been around a while. Formerly known as dutiful deb, I spent a decade caring for my mom. I felt that with the new change of caregiving roles, it was fitting to alter my screen name. I also value my privacy and wanted to remove any identifying marks. It's been a long time since I posted here. My mother passed away 6…
-
New member
Hi I have a partner with undiagnosed dementia. Trying to get him diagnosed has been an uphill battle. He doesn’t think there is anything wrong with him so is very resistant to attending appointments, etc. Am now at the stage where he has had a ‘challenging‘ appointment with the Dementia and Frailty team and yesterday had…
-
Was I living under a rock?
I guess this is just a vent, but the feelings of betrayal and heartache are very real. My DH and I have been married 46 years. He has been in MC for the last two months. I always knew he had a negative side and some behavior that was questionable, but for the most part he seemed to be a normal husband and father before…
-
Working Still
Hey all. In a week, I turn 58. A few days later, I'll have been in this new job for a year. We moved and I took on this new job with so much hope. Hope my DW was dealing with an elevated level of anxiety and stress due to long term caregiving of her mother and father with dementia and then both of their deaths. Hope that…
-
Harmless behaviors
As with most families we have our favorite coffee cup, seat at the table, bath towel we use etc. I’ve noticed lately that DH has been using my towel, sitting in my seat at the table using my coffee cup, even eating my leftover takeout that he use to not like 🤷🏻♀️ Just wondering if anyone else has experienced this kind of…
-
Need legal advice/support
I am a caregiver/friend/partner to my 84yr ex-lover who was diagnosed with ES stage dementia several years ago. Another friend of my ex who has been her property manager for maybe 40 yrs put an alert on one of my friend's bank account. Once that happened, Adult Protective Services got involved and had an emergency court…
-
Quetiapine
I have mentioned here before that my DH has been taking Quetiapine at night only. This past Sunday, I noticed that he was restless so I gave him a pill in the afternoon. It seemed to work in the reverse. Made him more delusional and very agitated. On Monday and Tuesday, I gave him dosages in the afternoon and the delusions…
-
Memory loss in my husband and change in personality
I am new to the group. My husband has not been diagnosed, he refuses to talk to his doctor, but he forgets things right after we spoke about them. But my biggest concern is his mood changes. He becomes so angry with me about anything and everything I seem to do. And the next minute he is back to his old self. I really just…
-
Mental health service for caregiver
I am noticing that developing or picking up some of my Maggie dementia related behavior. Where can I find mental health professionals who specialize in dementia and caregivers?
-
Incontinence help!
My DH has been urinary incontinent since December 2023. I have tried everything, every overnight product on the market (yes parentgiving as well), doubles, extra pads, 5 washable bed protectors for leaking. I have pretty much stopped the leaking to the bottom sheet with the 5 washables BUT the top sheet is wet every day,…
-
Absent wife
Hi everyone! I'm having great great difficulty coping with my precious wife of 61 years being in a memory care facility suffering from dementia
-
Does aggression and agitation fade as the disease progresses?
My DH is 68 - Alz diagnosis after PET scan and MRI and testing - has been highly agitated for months. I had locks on all our doors and gates as he was constantly trying to get out and would become very angry with me as his "jailer". He could have moments where he was sweet, but after needing 911 to help get him inside…
-
#2 and and AM confusion
My 44 bf who has eeoa for the last few weeks has been super disoriented in the mornings. I have to help him fine the bathroom and tell him to go to the bathroom. "Pull your pants down and sit on the toilet". Which takes a while as he will go in and out of the bathroom. Also he has stopped wiping his bottom after #2. I tell…