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Is there life after this
it’s early morning. DH is still sleeping so this is my precious quiet alone time. I sit here in the dark and pray. My prayers have changed and it makes me feel sad and guilty. I used to pray for my DH not to get any worse but now he’s in stage 6 Alzheimer’s and I just pray that once we are done with this terrible journey…
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Nervous about SS interview... tired of waiting...
Good Morning! I'm a nervous wreck today. I have a phone interview with SSDI in two hours and I have no idea what to expect because I visited their office in person (waited an hour) and called their 1-800 # (waited an hour and fifteen minutes) to find out how the process works and to get clarification on how to fill out…
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Question on Lequembi qualifications?
I just got an answer regarding my DW starting Lequembi. I was told that her MOCA score (15) was too low to qualify. She still does her ADL’s without help and most of the time I’m thinking she’s great. Is this “cut off” a Medicare thing? I was disappointed but wasn’t sure if I could have convinced her to submit to the…
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On the advice of my therapist
I have a habit of minimizing or stuffing down feelings and emotions. My therapist has given me the assignment of telling someone about something I am struggling with. Not to look for a solution but as a way to validate the experience. And so… I have a great deal of resentment and a feeling of loss of self. DH was diagnosed…
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Incontinence question
Hubby and I are hikers. Every day we hike for 3-4 miles. It’s so good for both of us, but he’s had two instances recently where he lost bowel control. He knows he has to go but can’t make it home. It happened today and we made it home but he went in his pants and it got on the carpet. Afterwards he told me he has a lump…
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Inner Dialogue
I would like to share something with the group I learned in sports that I am using to cope with my wife's challenges. In sports your inner dialogue has a lot to do with your outcome. If you say internally "I hope I don't hit the ball into the water." That is exactly where the ball will go. If you say "Hit this ball to that…
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Today is a bad day and I just need to talk
My DH is adjusting well to the new MC and they say he is sleeping well. I've visited once in two weeks, and called him most days. He knows who I am and says that he misses me. I'm able to tell him how much I love and miss him too. Until today. I came down with Covid two days ago and my voice is horrible. I called yesterday…
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How long did your loved ones stay in stage 5, 6, and 7?
I’ve read Tam Cummings staging and estimated duration of each. I’m curious as to everyone’s experience here on the time your LO’s spent in each of these stages? My DH went through 3 and 4 fast (just over a year) and is a solid 5 now with a couple of cognitive areas in 6. Do most make it to 7? I can handle a lot but am…
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55-year-old DH with early onset: Reasonable cost of CELA? Disability Attorney?
Hello, As I try to research and advocate for my husband and family, I am wading through an overwhelming number of details. We finally have an appointment with a CELA in 3 days and she charges a flat rate (rather than hourly), so that her clients will feel free to call with questions anytime and so she can be available to…
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I just paid the deposit . . .
. . . on a MC apartment. Starting this process has cheered me up, even as it also fills me with dread, of the transition, the understanding that it will not be a thorough solution, of being lonely. But for now, I am hanging on to the optimism. Tyrone
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my DW is bored
My highly educated DW is bored. She has MCI, so her memory retention is a couple of minutes at best. Normal activities that would engage someone are beyond her: she can't read a book or newspaper, because she retains nothing. The same is true for watching TV programs or movies that involve somewhat complicated plots. I try…
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My DW & Hospice Education
Today, my DW of 25 years was released from the ravages of of this evil disease (+ cancer) and is, truly, in a better place. I was lucky enough to be by her side, holding her hand, when she passed. And I might have been alarmed at the changes she underwent, if not for having learned about the signs and sounds and changes…
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Gut Health
I am curious if anyone has researched impact of gut health on cognition or has anyone tried a diet that has shown any benefits
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good options for in home care
My mom is in the advanced stages of vascular dementia and needs full time care. My sister was living with her as her daily care giver but she is now in the hospital with cancer. I’m staying with mom now but need help caring for her so I have time to work and take care of my own home. Facilities are too expensive and she…
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End-of-Life options for 55 Year Old husband with early onset? Legal planning.
Hello, My 55yo husband is in the early stages of early-onset Alzheimer's. We have three children, a 21yo daughter with autism who cannot live independently and is not able to work, an 18yo son who is about to graduate HS and head overseas for a year-long travel before heading to college, and an 11yo daughter who will begin…
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Mother's Day was hard
Celebrating any holiday, birthday, or significant life event has become so hard since DW has been diagnosed with VD, psychosis, and AFIB. It's hard to see her living in a reality that seems to torture her with fear, anger, and sadness brought on by memory struggles and delusions. I feel so powerless to help and because in…
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The Velveteen Rabbit
45 years ago today, the priest added this reading to our wedding ceremony from a children’s book, “The Velveteen Rabbit” by Margery Williams. My sister read it at the ceremony. I happened to come across it on the internet and was thinking how much of a deeper meaning it has now. "What is REAL?" asked the Rabbit one day,…
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Milestones…
It’s been a while since I’ve had the chance to pop in here. In the grand scheme of things, I feel pretty fortunate with how my DH is faring well since his neurologist used the word “Alzheimer’s” as a diagnosis in August, 2023. However, I can’t help but look ahead and prepare for future progression and how much things will…
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Tales from the texts...MC and guilt tripping.
I'm just putting this out there to see if anyone has had a different/better way to deal with the situation I am in. As background, my DH entered MC about three weeks ago. We have been told not to visit for the first month or so. He seems (from the reports my DS and I are getting from MC staff) to be doing quite well, but…
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Just starting this journey
Newbie to this site. I started noticing DH memory slips about 6-7 yrs ago , attributed it to stress. Then starting questioning cognitive slips for about 3-4 yrs with it beginning to get worse. We finally got a diagnosis from PET scan showing consistent with Alzheimer’s. He is 57 in great physical shape and I am 53. I would…
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Confirmed diagnosis
My mother has an official diagnosis of dementia, what kind I do not know yet .. the doctor seemed to have the information in the chart but this was my first time attending my mother’s doctor appointment. over the past year has depended a lot on my father for answers , to include her birthday at times but didn’t really…
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another delusion question
Are delusions usually constant all the time or do the same delusions come and go. My wife has delusions about me but sometimes she doesn't seem to think these things and then the next day or two she believes them again. Do these delusions come from past fears or experiences from earlier life, even childhood, or are they…
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Moving to MC
Is there a time suggested to discuss a move with my wife. Some have said in advance of the move others says just wait till you’re at the facility moving in. Help
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Parkinson’s dementia
my husband has Parkinson’s and he is having hallucinations. He believes there are people in the house and that I am conspiring with them. I have been called filthy names and he has threatened to hit, kick or kill me. How do I deal with this? I am getting little sleep and my patience is wearing thin. Thankfully he is unable…
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For Jo C
I’m thrilled to see you are back online, and that you are in full volunteer mode. The new folks here have not had the benefit of your wisdom yet. 😊
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Social Security Office experience - Need to vent...
Oh my goodness. My experience with going to social security for my DH56's disability was the thing that broke my LAST nerve. I completely LOST it on the way home. I was crying so hard I could barely breathe. I had all I could do to compose myself as we left that useless office and walked to our vehicle. And, of course, as…
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Just need to talk to my friends (192)
Hi, Hope this works. Maybe we can just go to page 20 and start a new section so we can get to 200. It's sort of rainy here today - had a shower about noon and there's still a little drizzle. Hope we can get more rain later today. Ron, I hope things are going all right for you. Post and let us know what's happening - at…
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Disability and CELA Lawyer
Hello Everyone! I have been reading as much as possible on this site and have searched for answers to my questions to save any redundancy, but I'm still confused. I hope you don't mind me posting about this. After our appointment with the neuropsychologist, she insisted that disability is a must and should be my first…
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Middle of the night vent
4:30 and I've showered him, stripped the bed, mopped the floor, and started a load of laundry. I was so angry. And so so sad. I can handle almost anything. But stepping in pee because he decided to walk all over every part of the bathroom is hard to take. And when I sat down to cry, he came and held me. He breaks my heart…
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All I can say is ....
THIS REALLY SUCKS!!!! I WANNA SCREAM SO LOUD HOW MUCH I HATE SEEING MY KIND, LOVING, BIGGEST HEART OF GOLD WOULD DO ANYTHING FOR ANYONE BF GO THROUGH THIS HORRIBLE DISEASE. HE IS ONLY 44!!!! WHY???? WHY HIM???? WHY ANYONE??? WHY CANT THERE BE A CURE??? SOMEONE SCREAM WITH ME ... PLEASE!!! We are all in this together 💜