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What to say before taking DH to a day care place for a first time visit.
Hi, I have a question about what to say to my DH before I take him to visit a day care facility tomorrow. I am still his full time care taker with occasional help with our adult children. I am thinking of starting him out one half day a week and going from there, depending on how he does. He will want to know where we are…
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Epitome of Grief
Flying home yesterday with my husband from a lovely last hurrah holiday at a beautiful resort visiting good friends, our son, and grandchildren; he assimilates easily back into his memory care facility as he just doesn’t know, but I’m inconsolably choked with tears . During this getaway, I looked straight into my husband’s…
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Bathroom issues
Maybe I’m in the dark about what to expect, but this evening my husband went to the bathroom, was in there a long time. I went in to see what he needed and there was a mess in the sink and on the toilet seat. I’m not sure what transpired when he was in there but I’m thinking I need to hang out outside the bathroom door…
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Help with fiblet - moving DW into MC
I am moving my DW into MC next week and I am trying to come up with a fiblet to tell her on move in day. My SIL suggested that I tell her that I need to go back to OH (we live in WI) to take care of my older sister for a time and that I found a place for her to stay while I am gone. I do think she will buy this fiblet but…
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Its Our Turn. Preparing to say farewell...
Unbelievably, though we knew it was coming in the not too distant future, DH is transitioning right before my eyes. He rallied in the last 2 weeks, and now suddenly we are walking through the steps for last day/s on this earth. I will let you know when I can. For now, I have been assured by hospice that he is in very good…
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Driving
Hi all My OH is currently being assessed at a memory clinic. We have not had a formal diagnosis, we visited the memory clinic, late October, and this is the first time we have met the consultant, or in fact any fully qualified doctor, previously it was a junior doctor and an OT. I think based on my OH ACE III test score he…
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Feeling Very Thankful
I just want to express my sincere appreciation to all of you who show up on this site. The shared experiences, rants and raves, insights, advice and love and shared vulnerabilities have made a real difference to me in how I’m able to navigate my day to day with my DW. Wishing You All the very best Thanksgiving possible.…
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Holidays without him.
Last year 11/23/23 was the last holiday I spent with my DH Lonny. I have no pictures of that day. Shortly thereafter I was diagnosed with aggressive cancer & had no choice but to place him immediately in Memory Care. He spent Christmas alone there. It broke my heart in two. He passed August 12th and I am dreading the…
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How to help Grands understand??
My DH this afternoon just snapped and yelled at our grand-daughter for not speaking to him when she came in. Cussing and saying he was not taking that damn sh*t no more from her🤦♀️🤦♀️…. She is 12 and it really hurt her feelings and she didn't know what to do. I was a good buffer got him turned around and back in house. I…
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This really set me back !!
my wife and trouble signing her name I think she had trouble with our last name. This really hit me. I guess more to come.
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Being able to sleep with him again
I've read so many comments here that reflect my own feeling of loss at no longer being able to sleep with my DH. It is such a simple yet intimate and comforting thing to do. He's been in a memory care facility for almost 6 months. It's close to home and I visit him at least every other day, often trying to nap together in…
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Nuedexta
My DH physician has prescribed Nuedexta to help manage some of the symptoms associated with FTD such as angry ,combative and obsessive behaviours. This medication is a combination of Dextromethorphan and Quinidine and primarily used for folks who have TBI who have issues with uncontrollable crying and laughing etc.. So far…
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Home
A fitting description of what LOs seeking "home" must feel… “Someday, I would like to go home. The exact location of this place, I don't know, but someday I would like to go. There would be a pleasing feeling of familiarity and a sense of welcome in everything I saw. People would greet me warmly. They would remind me of…
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Visit from family
Today, my daughter, SIL and grandson are coming to visit. DH is totally confused and agitated, thinking that his sister is coming to visit instead and seems to be under stress because of the visit. Relations with this daughter are a bit strained - she lives out of state and rarely visits, so today is a big deal, although…
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Hallucinations
I’m new here. My spouse has been diagnosed with mild to moderate dementia. He is fairly independent; needs some supervision. Started Zyprexa and Aricept. Problem is with hallucinations. I really don’t know what to do or how to support. I’m talking to his doctor about this; but want to reach you for suggestions.
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A very little holiday
Maybe I have done something stupid but after hearing ‘friends’ talking about their cruising on boats and various holidays I decided that for our birthdays which fall on the 8th and 9th and the reason why 55 years ago we went out together, that we should have a little holiday, thinking that may be this will be the last. So…
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I cry every day. I don't know if I can go on like this. Too tired to seek help.
My DH is probably Stage 6. He gets agitated, angry, cursing at least a few times a day. Otherwise, he lies there watching TV. He wants to get out and then he doesn't. I'm taking care of him on my own. No kids or friends available nearby. I tried bringing in help but DH is very resistant and throws them out of the house. I…
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Just need to talk to my friends (200)
Well, we made it to 200. Took a while. Still chilly here. Had to find some fleece to wear. Time to change out summer gowns and dresses for fleece and flannel. I don't change clothes in closet, just things in the chests. HB, hope your mother is doing much better. Mint, how is your mother? Haven't seen you mention it lately.…
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Man on the Inside
This post kind of off topic. We watched a 8 episode series on Netflix last night and today with Ted Danson called “Man on the Inside” which we enjoyed. It was about a retired professor who lost his wife to Alzheimer’s and when looking for a part time job to take his mind off his loneliness, ends up taking a job with an…
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Alone and missing friends. What to do?
My DH is Stage 6 and is very agitated and even aggressive to anyone new coming into the house. DH's friends have passed or no longer able to understand how to deal with him. I barely do myself. He's at home with me as sole caregiver and it is draining me. Heartbreaking is when the day passes and he realizes no one else is…
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wants to be massaged for hours
Anyone else experienced this? My DH wants me to massage his backs, hips, chest for hours on end. Sometimes it's the only thing that will calm him except listening to music. Is the any alternatives? Is it a phase?
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Burnout
Today I want to rant, I’m tired and exhausted, I really thought I had a handle on all this, I love communicating and writing on this site, it balances me and helps me to understand that I am not alone but today I feel so despondent for the last few days all I want to do is cry. I don’t want this any more 7 years is enough…
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What to do? DH paranoid/ fearful away from home but need to visit my dying father
My DH is Stage 6 and has been extremely agitated, anxious and verbally aggressive. He is stabilizing on Seroquel but still doesn't tolerate strangers or new places. I just found out that my father is in the hospital 5 hours north. He is only expected to live a few days. I have no aides or family able to care for him, the…
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my wife can't stop crying all day
My wife just cries all day long, the reasons change and I don't believe they are the reason. If it's stopped it will start back up when she is asked to do something. Any caregiver with this experience I'd be grateful to hear from
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How much information to share with DH?
My DH has been showing signs of cognitive decline for a while. We are beginning this journey to get a diagnosis, which (as you all are well aware) will include a lot of testing and doctor appointments. My husband has excellent coping skills, so it took a long time to convince his primary care doctor that there was an…
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Suggestions for Activities?
My DH was diagnosed about 3 months ago with EOAD, at age 57. His biggest symptom is aphasia/difficulty communicating, as well as loss of executive functioning. He does not have significant memory loss. He has no problem doing ADL, and can still go on walks solo, etc. Our issue is that the aphasia and loss of executive…
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Turned down for Medicaid
With the help of an Elderlaw Attorney, I filed for Medicaid for my DH on August 19th here in Missouri. It had taken me several months to gather all the necessary information and was such a relief to finally have it filed. Since then, I have been paying the MC the amount the attorney said I would owe each month. Then a…
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Food ideas
My SO 46yo with EOA was a good eater. To the point that after eating a big meal and hour later he would be snacking on something. He was also a BIG Mt. Dew drinker. In the last month or so he hasn't drank any soda and has lost a bit of weight. However he also doesn't eat much like he used to. I know that his appetite will…
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Adult Children
We have 2 beautiful adult children 43 and 40. My DH has VD combined with very bad APHASIA. Our daughter lives near us so she is very familiar with the mental and physical decline but our son lives 1500kl away and is so involved with his work and family, our 2 young grandchildren. He doesn't have a lot of spare time for…
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Not diagnosed
My DH has not been diagnosed but is showing many symptoms. He is in denial and blames all his problems on me. It’s been a struggle the past year. I feel like a parent instead of a wife. His mouth can get pretty bad. It’s getting hard and frustrating.