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New to this group
My DH was diagnosed with dementia several years ago. The doctor said that his was triggered by a TBI he received due to a car accident he had in the early 70's. He crushed in the front left side of his skull. At first it wasn't bad but now it has progressed. An MRI done five years ago showed that approximately 1/3 of the…
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From bad to worse
It has been a challenge navigating my DW dementia, AFib, and related health issues. Recently, I have been looking into the possibility of moving her to MC. She doesn't like doctors and wasn't feeling well for a week or so. Finally, I was able to convince her to go to see a doctor. So, Sunday night before Memorial Day, we…
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Sweet but sad...Buck up, honey
Some days in this journey are memorable and this was one of them. The trauma of her Monday fall caught up with my partner today, she was sleepy, achy, sore, and tearful. She has no memory of the fall nor of the night in the ER. She woke up about lunchtime a bit. Crying, she looked at me and said, "my life is over...I can't…
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Doing what I gotta do
Tonight I called my MIL and said I'm dropping your son off tmr before i go to work. He can't be here at home. I came home to my laundry soap (that isn't cheap) not in it's container. Some on the floor. The bed we sleep in was a disaster. (He put my pillow in the dryer caise it was cold). His new CPAP machine on the bed…
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Trying to get DW to Understand Time/Dates/Calendars/Schedules
My DW is in early to middle stages of cognitive impairment (not sure what exact diagnosis is yet – evaluation still in progress). She has lost all ability to understand timelines related to dates, schedules and appointments. She often confuses what was a past appointment with what is yet to come in the future. Here’s a…
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“She’s mostly in her own little world now”
Those following our story know my DW is in the final stages of Semantic Dementia and on hospice. She is losing weight in each monthly weighing. But she is still hanging on although clearly declining weekly. I was discussing my DW’s situation with the hospice nurse. I noted that my DW seems to be in a state of being either…
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Tale of the phone: master manipulator?
My DH has been in MC for about a month now. I visited him once and he actually seemed happier than he had been at home for a long time. It was a quick visit with my DDIL and granddaughter (age 3 yo). I brought him some items he had asked for and he seemed happy to see all of us, especially my granddaughter. Throughout his…
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Please take action on this as it is extremely important.
If you have ever wanted to be part of history to bring the biggest change to dementia and other ND this is your chance.
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Home care
I’m so tired and drained. I need help or I’m going to pass out. This week I’m calling Visiting Angels and asking you all who else can I call? I need someone to come in a couple of times a week just so I can have a break. Asking hubby to get ready this morning was a huge challenge. I’d ask him to get dressed and he sits and…
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Doesn't know me anymore
Hello, I'm new to this forum. My husband & my Mom both have dementia. My hubby is in a long-term care facility now. We've been on this journey for 10 years. He's been in care for 2. He doesn't know me anymore. I knew this day would come. He thinks I'm the nice lady that comes to visit him. We've been married 34 years. I…
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Planning trips
we are trying to plan a few trips to see family and it’s very frustrating to my Lo. He has always been the one to plan everything down to the last detail. It frustrates him that he can’t do that now. So he just wants to shut down and go no where, He says he can only see/think about today. He would just as soon stay home as…
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Veteran's Resources - for Housing Modifications, etc.
HISA grants: — Lifetime benefit for Veterans and Servicemembers. $6,800 will be approved to: Address a service-connected disability; Address a compensable ...Clothing Allowance · Guide and Service Dog page · Automobile Adaptive EquipmentPeople also askHow much is the VA hisa grant? Will the VA compensation increase in…
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New to this
My DH is in the early stage of Alzheimers or dementia. He will not go to a doctor and is in denial about what is happening to him. I am slowly picking up all of his responsibilities but he is still able to do some of the things he used to do. Lately, it has just been so exhausting and I have become so isolated. I could use…
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Memory care question
I’m wondering for those of you with loved ones in a memory care facility. Do you write a message saying,” ‘Name’ will visit you tomorrow? “ I see my husband every day, but as soon as I’m out of sight he forgets I was ever there. When I see him the following day, he seems so relieved and asks, “How’d you find me”? This…
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Drugs
what drug works best to manage delusions?
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Husband fell in MC
Last Sunday my husband either fell forward out of his chair or fell in the hallway picking something up. It was 6:28 am when I got the call he was going to ER. He was there several hours and returned to facility. My son who was with him said he slept most of the time. Since the fall he is totally different man. Not…
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Constant anger
I’m sure you have experienced days where nothing that you say or do is the right thing. Well I’ve been having many days like this! I understand DH is angry with his situation and has an overwhelming need to have control of his life again but this is becoming absurd! I am finding it very difficult to deal with . This…
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Prolonged sleep
Hi, my DW is late stage (I think early stage 7) at age 61. Over the last few months her sleep pattern has changed such that she now routinely sleeps 20 hours a day. She would sleep longer if I didn't "help" her wake up to get some food in her and change her underpants. Her meds have been changed somewhat in effort to…
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DH won't wear his dentures - latest thing to happen...
MY DH Lonny has been in Memory Care for 6 months. The latest in behaviors: more agitation & they have him heavily medicated. He's urinary incontinent & doesn't like them to change his adult diaper & clothes and becomes combative with his caregivers. He took out his dentures & refuses to allow them to put them back in. So…
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Is there any life left after Alzheimer's caregiving?
I would truly love to hear from those survivors of the Alz. nightmare about whether they were able to recover from the physical and mental strain of caregiving. It sounds like we all are pretty much physically and mentally exhausted.
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new guy here with wife who has dementia 1st started 2 years ago
im hubby and sole caretaker with my wife caroline shes 63 im 60 i would like to find some kind of online chat group in real time that i can talk to i cant go to no in person thing right now as she gets whelmed what do i do?
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Memory care wait list
i had looked around for memory care for hubby awhile ago just to be prepared. The place I chose says can pay one thousand dollars to put him on waitlist. If I never use them I’ll get money back and if I use them the money will go towards their care. I thought ideally I’d like him to stay home and get care inhome. However…
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Husband thinks he needs to go somewhere
my husband thinks he is supposed to go “home” when we are already at home. He is quite adamant. How can I dissuade him without getting into a big hassle?
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Incontinence Question
My DH is starting with urinary incontinence. I have seen multiple wet briefs in the hamper on different occasions. He does not speak of it as I am sure he is embarrassed. He has not had nighttime incontinence yet. Because he isn't speaking of it, I am concerned that he will try to hide the briefs by flushing them down the…
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Disillusioned with Geri-psych unit
My DH will be released from a Geri-psych unit soon. I placed him there because he’s had four aggressive incidents at his memory care in the last few months. His Seroquel was increased at the unit, but no other med changes were tried. The unit social worker told me the unit is only for acute care, and that any other med…
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I have breast cancer… now what?
I’m at the very start of testing and diagnosis process. So far i know it will be at least a stage 2 involving lumpectomy, lymph node biopsy, radiation, and some form of drug therapy. Any one been through this with a very need clingy DH at Stage 4 at least who won’t stay with anyone? He knows but not sure he totally “gets…
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Wits end he won’t get ready
hubby gets up and has become a couch potato. Up at 11. It’s 1 pm and still not moving. I Said it’s showertime. Tells me 15 minutes. Still nothing. He did this Sunday when we had to be at a bbq. Waits for last moments to get ready. And I always tell him earlier than it is. Today another bbq leaving 5:30 pm. I told him 5.…
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My SIL wants me to care for her too?
My DH is definitely in stage 4 and dipping his toe in a couple stage 5 behaviors on occasions. My health is not the best, I have complications from Scleroderma an incurable and possibly fatal autoimmune disease. My DH sister that is an 80 yo widow is beginning to ask me to help her. I’m 65 and my DH is 75. Im already…
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Any suggestions?
Okay, need some help here and I know this is the only group that may have some ideas and not judge. My DH has been sundowning fierce! I have locks and alarms on the doors so he can't get outside. I usually get up and guide him to the bathroom then tell him the time and guide him back to bed. He becomes resistant so I let…
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What is normal progression?
I’m confused about something. Maybe a dumb question. I’m not sure what I should perceive as further progression/decline that I should just accept vs. symptoms that require further managing. Here is the scenario. DH’s behavior has been manageable and I can usually redirect him when he starts to get upset about something. We…