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Preparing for in home care
Yesterday I had a semi-productive meeting with a VA social worker. We have been offered up to 30 days of care in our home, the care will only be for 6 hours a day. In addition, they have one single respite bed (for hundreds or more vets) at their facility that is available for up to 14 days but those hours will be deducted…
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Placement Decision
At some point I will have to decide about placing my wife in a memory care facility. This will be difficult. I know many of you have already been through this. I would be interested in any information you would be willing to share on how and why you decided on placement.
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new to this group...
Hi, I am new to this group. I first noticed something was off with my DW in early 2019. After lots of reluctance and denial, we got a EO ALZ diagnosis in late 2021. Right now, I am 57 she is 59. I would estimate we are in the middle of stage 5. Fortunately my DW mostly remains pleasant and cooperative throughout. She did…
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Interior keyed door locks
A quick thank you to whoever posted about making sure you have a room inside your home where you can lock yourself in for safety. No, I haven't needed to do that yet as DH is pretty quick to diffuse thanks to two antidepressants meds he's taking. However, he is starting to show a tiny bit of sundowning on occasion and I…
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The niggling things that add up
no wonder we are all tired. I play a constant juggling game in my mind that wears me out before I get anything done. I need to get the oil changed in the car, the time to do that is before a MC visit, since it’s on the way (but it’s 45 minutes each way). So scheduled it for this morning, but then the cleaners called and…
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New diagnosis after 4 years
I am brand new to this group. As I am reading your posts I am encouraged by the support you give one another. I sure could use it! My DH started showing signs of dementia 4 years ago. We have been going to the doc all this time. One week ago, after doing some tests, they have diagnosed him with vascular dementia. Even…
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Getting so disappointed with myself
Every morning I try to tell myself that this will be the day I have the patience and positivity I need to get through the repeated questions, the intense shadowing, the snapping at me for no good reason. And most every day, I disappoint myself. With my DH in probably late Stage 5, I should know better than to argue or snap…
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Do you visit your spouse in MC daily?
I've been tryiing to visit my DW in MC at least every other day but it's becoming difficult in the sense that at first my DW is glad to see me and I her. After an hour or so she becomes agitated with me, sometimes for not being there 24/7 like I used to, or when it's time to leave. She looks hurt and sad and I'm sure she…
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A hybrid Memory Care plan?
My DH has been in MC for about three months. Prior to that, when he was home, the biggest issues were sundowning from about 3 to 6 in the afternoon when he would get manic and confused, and waking up at night to go pee but going in inappropriate places in the house or going outside to pee off the deck. The sundowning was…
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Fibs for MC intake
I am going to move DW to a MC place in June. Among the things I’m worried about, one is what story to tell her, which can be shared with family and friends when they visit her in MC. Any suggestions that have worked well for any of you? I am advised that it should be short, simple, and not anxiety-producing. But any…
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Can you flunk out of Geri-psych?
My DH has been in Geri-psych 3 days, and last night went on a tear. The nurses had to lock themselves and the other patients in and call security. Because of the Memorial Day weekend, they haven’t done much adjusting of his meds; I think they added an extra 50 mg of Seroquel. Do they ever kick patients out of Geri-psych?
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Passing of family member - do I tell?
Hello Everyone - My uncle passed away last night after a brief illness. He was my Dad's brother. Both my Mom and Dad are in AL both under Hospice care… my Dad is in the later stages, my mom in earlier stages but had a TIA in April that has started the decline. My Dad doesn't know who I am, so I don't think he will remember…
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Keeping Loved Ones Home As Long As Possible
My DH is still doing okay going into our 4th year of Alzheimers diagnosis. We have a 3 bedroom home. My daughter and 12 year old son live with us so there are no extra bedrooms. I would like him to be at home as long as possible and as long as I am able to care for him. He is 86 and I am 81. Physically we are both in good…
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Bedtime problem
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I'm concerned about DH medical care in MC
When DH entered MC in January this year he was using a Spireva inhaler to control his COPD. Since then, the MC doctor first changed him to a different inhaler and then discontinued that and started giving him albuterol breathing treatments three to four times a day. DH came down with bronchitis in March and was extremely…
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When to make the next move
Hi there. I am caring for my bf who is 44 with eosa. We just recieved the diagnosis last October. Things have been fine except as of the last month or so there is a "him / he" (imaginary person) that goes into his room (where he keeps his clothes and shoes) that messes with them. We have him on Zyprexa (onlazapine) and…
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Nostalgic Music Affects Brain and Memory
An interesting piece-
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I need someone to talk to
Hello all! I'm new here. Lucky me, right? 😟 My Mother-in-law had Alzheimers and passed many years ago. I now fear my husband is in the early stages along with adult onset ADHD. Me?? I'm losing my mind!!! He can't remember anything and constantly makes excuses for his behavior by saying things like 'Why should I remember…
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Tone Deaf Invitation
A couple with whom DH and I have been close friends for 40 plus years just invited ME to a small dinner party celebrating the wife's 80th birthday. The invitation spelled out that I should get one of my children to watch my DH and just come by myself. I am miffed and maybe even insulted by this request. Has this happened…
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Stove top covers
what would be best to purchase to put over knobs on stove. I cannot pull knobs off my stove. I need covers. Something easy. Thanks.
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Can others understand?
I think I know the answer… but friends and family are interested and care for me and my DH, but when they say things like “I understand, my mom had memory issues and I had to help her twice a week“ I realize they have no idea of what it’s like to be the sole caregiver at home for your life partner. We’ve not (yet) been for…
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My DH is getting increasingly aggressive and hard to handle
My DH is very restless and agitated, and always wants something to do. The problem is, when I can't go out with him - ex. at 6:00 a.m. today he wanted to go for a bike ride - then he gets loud and aggressive and says he will go anyway. Today he started for the door and said he was going. He gets lost in our apartment…
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Bathroom bar & chair??
I’m having bathroom renovated. Taking out tub and just shower. I think this will be better for my hubby. Should I have them install the bar to hold onto and chair or just the bar? I had a chair to put in tub but hubby didn’t care for it. That was months ago. It may be something he needs as time goes on. And I have choice…
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Respite recommended
At my last Dr visit she recommended that I utilize respite care for my DH because she thought after all these years (14) I deserved a break. I called the facility DH attends day care at two days a week. The director answered my many questions and when I asked the cost I discovered how valuable my caregiving time is. The…
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what dementia has taken from us
This is really a follow-on to the Angry discussion. On top of losing the PWD, we lose the joy of some of the activities we shared. In our case it's gardening. I'm not angry, but I am very sad. DW and I have been gardening since we met and had a place to do it. She usually took care of the flowers, and I usually took care…
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Time to Say Goodbye
DW turned the corner this morning. She has been in memory care since last August and has been in hospice care since January. She qualified for hospice since she has both advanced (stage 6) EOAD and cervical cancer (stage unknown). When checked by the hospice nurse this morning DW was virtually unresponsive but her vitals…
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Angry
Just. So. Angry.
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Freaking out somewhat
My DH is currently in a locked behavioral ward next to the ER at a local hospital. He’s had a series of escalating aggressive behaviors, so I finally decided he needed to get his meds adjusted at a Geri-psych ward. An ambulance took him from his memory care to the hospital this morning. He will be admitted later tonight to…
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Seeing my DH tension
My DH spends all his time outside sitting,alone. He was diagnosed with alzhimers this year, i n the mild stage. He's lost alot of weight. Today I mentioned his pants were to big. You could visibly see him tense up. He gets that way anytime he is ask a question. Just aggravated. Is this normal? He does nothing. The…
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WALKERS/CANES/ROLLATOR
I am going to the VA on May 3 to see if I can be fitted for a taller cane and walker and rollator. I am almost 7 feet tall and the ones I bought on my own are not tall enough me I have to walk slightly bent over and it causes me some back pain hopefully the VA can help me. It is bad enough that I have ALZ I am going to see…