-
Thought it would be a good day🤦🏻♀️
Thought I gave DH an enjoyable day ? After stepping in his pee on the br floor this morning 🤦🏻♀️ then cleaning the BR making him breakfast going grocery shopping making lunch and taking him to our nieces HS lacrosse playoff game. Having trouble turning TV on when we got home Changed batteries. He proceeded to get in my…
-
How important is definitive diagnosis?
My DH had the usual tests when we first started noticing the memory issues - EEG, blood tests, MRI - nothing unusual showed up. He refused to go to the neuropsych testing when he realized what it would entail. Fast forward about a year and some doctor issues (had to get a new PCP, etc). I was able to get him scheduled for…
-
triggers
PWD tend to "loop", to run through the same set of questions and comments repetitively. One advice is to eliminate "triggers", whatever it is that causes the PWD to enter the loop. I've been doing that already to some extent by discarding letters, etc., for which DW wants an explanation. But there's one trigger that's hard…
-
What is wrong with me? (Rhetorical question)
Some days I wonder if I'm going to get though this with my sanity. Yesterday I actually booked a plane ticket and made reservations to travel somewhere by myself and then within a few hours came to my senses and cancelled the trip. I haven't left DH alone for more than 4 hours since March 2023 when I went to Asia for 10…
-
Anosognosia - Does it ever go away?
So - my DH was diagnosed a year and half ago with moderate dementia - based on a MoCa score of 13/30. He has always had anosognosia and never thought there was anything wrong or amiss. Suddenly this weekend, he has been in tears twice saying that he wants to be part of the family and that he wants to be like everyone else…
-
New day program was great until it wasn't
Thought we had a good thing going with DH new day program. He was having such a good time, happy to go in the morning and coming home in a great mood. It lasted 3 weeks. He aggressively escaped while the door was open for other clients to come in. DH ran out into the road, luckily he was not hurt. He is back in the…
-
Does shadowing ever go away?
I’m not sure how much longer I can keep it together. I am with him 24x7. I don’t have help. He yells for me whenever I leave the room. Every time I move he needs to know where I’m going. He says he’s afraid and we need to be together all the time. It was more manageable when I was able to make a quick trip to the grocery…
-
His speech makes no sense. Frontotemporal Dementia?
My DH had his appointment today with the Neuropsychologist. Three months ago she saw him, he spent a lot of time telling her the story that he was telling literally everyone he encountered, that he had been to the moon. Not a typical symptom of Alzheimer’s. But still that was my assumption since he has all the other…
-
The Bright Side
Here’s a thread to share positive moments or ideas and tips on caregiving. I’ll start. *good weather today so we went to the dog park and to town for coffee…hubby enjoyed this *music always perks him up… *the more I treat him like my hubby while understanding his limitations (so going slow, being patient, having no big…
-
Getting Ready to Place My DH in a Skilled Nursing Facility
Just found out my DH is in the late stage, not end stage AD and needs 24/7 care. He is now in a behavioral center to see what meds he needs to keep him mellow. He's been there since May 11 and all I do is worry about him because he can no longer carry on a conversation to let you know if there would be something wrong,…
-
I’m losing steam
Hi all. Caring for hubby 80 years old. Diagnosed in 2021. Sleeping more , bad eating habits, obsessed with tv remote, doesn’t want to do anything, doesn’t want to shower and shave. Takes days for me to get him to shave. He’s able to do adl’s on his own except needs help taking pants off. I’m scared of what’s coming and try…
-
DH’s Geri psych retiring. Thoughts?
in a way, I’m glad Geri psych is retiring in a way. DH really likes him. He first got involved when DH had sort of a breakdown when his symptom started to surface and he became extremely depressed about 7 yrs ago. As his dementia advanced we stuck with him but I never had a lot of confidence in him and his ability to treat…
-
Is there life after this
it’s early morning. DH is still sleeping so this is my precious quiet alone time. I sit here in the dark and pray. My prayers have changed and it makes me feel sad and guilty. I used to pray for my DH not to get any worse but now he’s in stage 6 Alzheimer’s and I just pray that once we are done with this terrible journey…
-
Nervous about SS interview... tired of waiting...
Good Morning! I'm a nervous wreck today. I have a phone interview with SSDI in two hours and I have no idea what to expect because I visited their office in person (waited an hour) and called their 1-800 # (waited an hour and fifteen minutes) to find out how the process works and to get clarification on how to fill out…
-
Question on Lequembi qualifications?
I just got an answer regarding my DW starting Lequembi. I was told that her MOCA score (15) was too low to qualify. She still does her ADL’s without help and most of the time I’m thinking she’s great. Is this “cut off” a Medicare thing? I was disappointed but wasn’t sure if I could have convinced her to submit to the…
-
On the advice of my therapist
I have a habit of minimizing or stuffing down feelings and emotions. My therapist has given me the assignment of telling someone about something I am struggling with. Not to look for a solution but as a way to validate the experience. And so… I have a great deal of resentment and a feeling of loss of self. DH was diagnosed…
-
Incontinence question
Hubby and I are hikers. Every day we hike for 3-4 miles. It’s so good for both of us, but he’s had two instances recently where he lost bowel control. He knows he has to go but can’t make it home. It happened today and we made it home but he went in his pants and it got on the carpet. Afterwards he told me he has a lump…
-
Inner Dialogue
I would like to share something with the group I learned in sports that I am using to cope with my wife's challenges. In sports your inner dialogue has a lot to do with your outcome. If you say internally "I hope I don't hit the ball into the water." That is exactly where the ball will go. If you say "Hit this ball to that…
-
Today is a bad day and I just need to talk
My DH is adjusting well to the new MC and they say he is sleeping well. I've visited once in two weeks, and called him most days. He knows who I am and says that he misses me. I'm able to tell him how much I love and miss him too. Until today. I came down with Covid two days ago and my voice is horrible. I called yesterday…
-
55-year-old DH with early onset: Reasonable cost of CELA? Disability Attorney?
Hello, As I try to research and advocate for my husband and family, I am wading through an overwhelming number of details. We finally have an appointment with a CELA in 3 days and she charges a flat rate (rather than hourly), so that her clients will feel free to call with questions anytime and so she can be available to…
-
I just paid the deposit . . .
. . . on a MC apartment. Starting this process has cheered me up, even as it also fills me with dread, of the transition, the understanding that it will not be a thorough solution, of being lonely. But for now, I am hanging on to the optimism. Tyrone
-
my DW is bored
My highly educated DW is bored. She has MCI, so her memory retention is a couple of minutes at best. Normal activities that would engage someone are beyond her: she can't read a book or newspaper, because she retains nothing. The same is true for watching TV programs or movies that involve somewhat complicated plots. I try…
-
My DW & Hospice Education
Today, my DW of 25 years was released from the ravages of of this evil disease (+ cancer) and is, truly, in a better place. I was lucky enough to be by her side, holding her hand, when she passed. And I might have been alarmed at the changes she underwent, if not for having learned about the signs and sounds and changes…
-
Gut Health
I am curious if anyone has researched impact of gut health on cognition or has anyone tried a diet that has shown any benefits
-
good options for in home care
My mom is in the advanced stages of vascular dementia and needs full time care. My sister was living with her as her daily care giver but she is now in the hospital with cancer. I’m staying with mom now but need help caring for her so I have time to work and take care of my own home. Facilities are too expensive and she…
-
End-of-Life options for 55 Year Old husband with early onset? Legal planning.
Hello, My 55yo husband is in the early stages of early-onset Alzheimer's. We have three children, a 21yo daughter with autism who cannot live independently and is not able to work, an 18yo son who is about to graduate HS and head overseas for a year-long travel before heading to college, and an 11yo daughter who will begin…
-
Mother's Day was hard
Celebrating any holiday, birthday, or significant life event has become so hard since DW has been diagnosed with VD, psychosis, and AFIB. It's hard to see her living in a reality that seems to torture her with fear, anger, and sadness brought on by memory struggles and delusions. I feel so powerless to help and because in…
-
The Velveteen Rabbit
45 years ago today, the priest added this reading to our wedding ceremony from a children’s book, “The Velveteen Rabbit” by Margery Williams. My sister read it at the ceremony. I happened to come across it on the internet and was thinking how much of a deeper meaning it has now. "What is REAL?" asked the Rabbit one day,…
-
Milestones…
It’s been a while since I’ve had the chance to pop in here. In the grand scheme of things, I feel pretty fortunate with how my DH is faring well since his neurologist used the word “Alzheimer’s” as a diagnosis in August, 2023. However, I can’t help but look ahead and prepare for future progression and how much things will…
-
Tales from the texts...MC and guilt tripping.
I'm just putting this out there to see if anyone has had a different/better way to deal with the situation I am in. As background, my DH entered MC about three weeks ago. We have been told not to visit for the first month or so. He seems (from the reports my DS and I are getting from MC staff) to be doing quite well, but…