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The loss is SO final!
I'm new here - I joined after losing my father this July 4. He suffered from Alz and multiple pulmonary health issues which is what ultimately took him. In some sense, I consider us blessed because there was a lot of Alz left to run its course when he passed - he still knew who we all were and was able to communicate, but…
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Alzheimer’s Grief Support
Is there a site where I can connect with caregivers that have lost a spouse with dementia for Grief Counseling?
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advice how to help dad move on after passing of spouse with dementia
Hello, A close friend lost his mother to dementia about 9 months ago. My friend's father (85 year old)- the surviving spouse- has had a difficult time coping and finding purpose and meaning since his wife's passing. His father still drives, but has physical problems, and he speaks only Spanish- which limits his social…
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I remember when
I am having a hard time sleeping tonight. Next week it will be 2 years since I lost my love. I was thinking of him so I got out my phone and played our song. Unchained melody by the Righteous Brothers. As it played I remembered us dancing and him singing softly the words of the song. Somehow I felt closer to him.
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From Grief into Action
Trust in God and do something. —Mary Lyon It's important to let ourselves grieve as a passage between yesterday and tomorrow. But we do not have to be controlled unduly by our grief, or our pain. There are times when we have grieved, surrendered to the heaviness, tiredness, and weariness of a circumstance long enough. It…
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FROM HENRI NOUWEN
The Blessing Hidden in Grief What to do with our losses? . . . We must mourn our losses. We cannot talk or act them away, but we can shed tears over them and allow ourselves to grieve deeply. To grieve is to allow our losses to tear apart feelings of security and safety and lead us to the painful truth of our brokenness.…
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Seeking advice on end-of-life care
This is my first post, but I want to first off thank everyone from the bottom of my heart for the advice and comfort I've found here by reading your posts, usually when I can't sleep at night and am feeling overwhelmed. I'm writing now because I'm so anxious about my 77-year-old mom's imminent passing at home from dementia…
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I Miss Her - 2 Years
I loved Lydia. And when you love someone you just, you…you don’t stop, ever. Lydia passed away on October 22, 2020 at 2:23 am. In losing her I found out it is a gift to exist, and with existence comes suffering. That when you love someone there is inevitable suffering, that is what I know is true. We think we can win…
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Lost my mother 12 years ago to Dementia
I have spent my hours on this message board. My last stop was this thread was after my mother passed away. It was very had to come here and talk about what had happened. Now, at 65, I'm back on this board because I fear that I may inherit her gene for Dementia. Now, that she's gone, I live alone and have no relatives. I…
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Delayed Dementia Grief
My husband died on Sunday July 24, 2022 at a Memory Care Unit after being discharged from a Geriatric Psych Unit for aggressive behavior. I never could fully accept his diagnosis of mixed Dementia and when he died the quilt and regret for not fully accepting him as he was haunts me. I gave his Medical POA to his adult…
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Living without the one you cannot live without
My DW passed away a few months ago, and I was quite puzzled by my feelings. I picked up some one-on-one grief counselling, and a grief support group, but still was at loose ends. Then, while surfing the Internet I came upon a YouTube talk with the above title by Natasha Josefowitz, a lively 88-year-old widow from the…
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why are some days so much harder than others
My DH passed on 4/5/2022. I am not doing great, but I am usually not doing horrible. I've been trying some self care activities like aromatherapy, exercise, drinking plenty of water and I even treated myself to a massage on Tuesday. Today, I am a mess. I feel as lost today as I did the day my DH died. Its not a significant…
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Lessons learned (learning)
*I needed to add to my original post that didn't explain much.* Mom and dad were in MC together. Dad need AL but mom needed him with her and she needed MC. Mom passed last year and Dad passed in May. We Loved their facility and caregivers, and feel they were much better cared for there than we could provide at home. I keep…
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Changing Lives
Today is the one-year anniversary since my husband, Bill, passed away. It is a difficult milestone to reach. All those firsts without him have happened. First birthdays and holidays, anniversaries and family events. All those days were hard, but I think the hardest part has been the day-to-day everyday life. I came across…
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A beautiful song about Alzheimer's.
My cousin, Gary Brown, wrote a beautiful, haunting song about his experience watching as his mother, Valda Brown, declined with Alzheimer's and ultimately passed away. As I my mother lives with Alzheimer's, the song comes to my mind often. It can be found on youtube.com at this link:…
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Stage 8 Strangeness
My world is so different now. Here's a list of just a few of my recent quirks. * I used to do laundry, all day, every day. Now I might wash one small laundry load every few days. * Since I am not limited to one trip to the grocery store per week, I can usually go through the express lane. * I actually miss seeing DH's…
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I will never been the same person
I took care of my favorite uncle (who had dementia) for 2 yrs. He passed away last November. Now that I'm back in the state I live in, family, friends, co-workers are wondering why I'm not "acting" like the "same person" I was 2yrs ago. I keep saying "because I'm NOT the same person....duh" I'm so tired of telling the same…
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Grieving
My DH died 6 weeks ago. This past week, I joined my first group grief counseling (zoom) session. When it was my turn to talk, I couldn't talk..but cried my way through when choking about the many 'themes' of my grief.1. Grief to think how much pain and suffering my DH had to endure with his long illness. He was bedbound…
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Still cry everyday
I took care of my mom at my home for the last 3 years. She passed away with me lying in bed with her and holding her in my arms. For some reason I thought when she passed it would be a relief but it wasn’t, she was so young only 69 years old & she went so quickly, just 2 weeks before she passed (11-28-21) she was still…
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Belgian waffles bring tears
My grandson and I made Belgian waffles for his mommy for Mother's Day breakfast. The waffle maker and the "secret" recipe were my uncle's. I cried as I shared memories of my uncle to my grandson. Today I'm not okay. Nicole
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I am LT. It's time for me to join in this discussion
Greetings. I'm LT. I have been posting on the Spouse & Partner Caregiver message board for a while. My DH died on April 5, 2022 so it's time for me to be here. Here's a little (o)bit about my DH: Jesse passed away peacefully at his home, with his wife at his side. Jesse’s life was full of adventure, shenanigans and love.…
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Wondering why I'm still here
I lost my DH on December 5, 2021. I did fairly well in the beginning but now I find myself spiraling downward and don't .have the energy to get up. I lay in bed in the morning later and later feeling as if I have no reason to get up. I question why am I still here. I feel so guilty about doing anything because he should be…
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Just lost third parent
As of yesterday, we have now lost a total of 3 parents to dementia since October 2019. It has been a very long and rough road. My husband and I are exhausted especially since he has been the legal guardian of both of his parents since 2017. I am no certain anyone outside of our community really understands the toll that…
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Searching for a bereavement support group in NY or virtually
Hello. Is anyone aware of a bereavement support group that focuses specifically on those who have lost loved ones to Alzheimer's or any other form of dementia? My mum died four months ago and I've been looking for suitable group therapy but have only found general grief groups. There is something uniquely awful about this…
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Are you married?
How do you answer that question? My DH died in April, and most people I know also knew him, so I hadn't often been asked. Now that people are coming back into the office, post-COVID, I'm meeting some new hires, and this morning I met a new neighbor; people ask "Are you married?" I don't want to say I'm widowed, because, as…
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It just never goes away...
I haven't posted here a lot in the past couple of years since Brenda died in early 2020. I was able to pick up my life after that and am happy these days. But the grief of being an Alzheimer's caregiver never goes away. We were watching some TV series on Netflix this month and two of them had characters with early…
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Writing poetry in my grief
I lost my mom two months ago to Alzheimers and started writing poetry for the first time ever about my grief last week. I've used my poems to explain my thoughts and feelings to friends and family and it helps with processing her loss. Writing poems has also helped me feel pride in something which is different from the…
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To You.
To all of you who have lost your Loved One, I hope your heart is full with happy memories and you will have a truly Merry Christmas.
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LO passed after difficult decision
My terrible Christmas: 77M, stage 5/6. Diagnosed in 2015 but had cognitive decline since 2012ish. On 12/18/21, went to ER with diverticulitis and a rupture in colon. The options presented were: major surgery with colostomy bag, "Hail Mary" option was to use antibiotic treatment along with a possible abcess drain, or enter…
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first christmas in an empty house
my great aunt died this spring and now the house i live in is empty i walked home from christmas breakfast today, but had no one to wake up for our own special christmas breakfast when i got back i put my present and some candy on her chair and now ive just spent the day staring hard at my christmas tree trying not to…