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My DH passed away this morning...
After 8 long days of watching and waiting, my DH passed away this morning. I am so thankful that his suffering is over, but I can't imagine life without him. I was there when he passed, and it means a lot to me to know that he wasn't alone. I will pray for him and for all of you who are navigating this terrible disease.…
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Is There An Organization That Rates Home Care Agencies
Hello. I am starting to consider my home care options. My husband was diagnosed with early stage Alzheimers last month. Like many people, I want to be able to keep him home for as long as possible but I also know that I will be needing help sometime in the future. I was at an Alzheimer's Support Group recently and another…
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Forward Planning
My wife is in her 8th year of diagnosis and lately has been slipping more and more. At some point, she will need more care than I can give, first in-home and then who knows? I will need to sell our house, which also involves getting rid of both valuable and kitschy possessions gathered over the last half century. How have…
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Being "failure free" when PWD wants to do hard things
I understand the idea of failure free activities and that there are books on it. My question is: If the PWD insists on doing something that is bound to fail (let's say trying to scratch off stains off a dirty napkin or a couch cushion), all I can try is to distract with something else. But PWD wants to be left alone to do…
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Affording help or MC
I have always thought I could never afford to pay out of pocket for in home help or even have memory care as an option. We are not wealthy but we have too much to qualify for Medicaid but not enough to pay out of pocket. It is extremely important to talk to an elder care attorney early on in the process. Many people…
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I hate myself for getting rid of Dad's phone
I am devastated. I had to disconnect my dad's phone tonight. He just called 911 too many times. I hate this. I feel like I am cutting him off.
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Counseling for Mom
Hello all, I am trying to find Counseling for my mom who is now caring for my dad who has Alz. They are both in assisted living because she would not send him without her. She is depressed and would like to see a Counselor. I am having a hard time finding a Counselor that specializes in Aging/Caregiver support that I may…
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Out of state “friends” hardly there and know everything
I am so exhausted as most here are. I need a moment to vent some frustrations. Why is it family and friends from out of state feel the need to input opinions after little to no contact except maybe a 15 minute phone conversation every 4-6 months. One has little to no knowledge of disease progression let alone what has…
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GriefShare
Looking in my area for support resources and little if any available but I did see where GriefShare holds an introductory one day session for those who have lost a spouse. I attended yesterday and it was interesting in hearing several stories from others about their loss. However, their 13 week workshop seems to be open to…
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Need Help w/ Cell Phone Options
My father has dementia and one area where my mom and I are struggling is with his using his cell phone. He likes to play solitaire on the phone but he doesn’t understand that the ads he receives aren’t real messages. He ends up filling out his information and is inundated with spam text messages and phone calls. I try to…
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A discreet wandering safety idea: AirTag insoles (easy to check location if someone gets lost)
Hi everyone, I’m in this community as a fellow caregiver / supporter, and I wanted to share something I recently came across that could help with wandering risk. The Alzheimer’s Association notes that 6 in 10 people living with dementia will wander at least once (often more than once). I have attached the link to the…
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Television that can be turned off automatically? (or remotely?)
Hey, my apologies if this has already been addressed or answered. My mom is in a MC unit & has the habit of watching TV all night long, then not sleeping at normal hours. I discussed this with the staff & I gave them permission to take the power cord from the TV around 11PM and return it the next morning to help Mom stay…
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93 yo Mom that has Late Stage Dementia ALZ I am at Caregiver Burnout Stage
I have a 93 year to be Mom that is in the middle late stages of ALZ Dementia I have two businesses that I cannot run and must fulfill my broadcast schedule on the road broadcasting high school games. I have no to little help and neighbors and friends ask but advise or critique me on how to care for my mom but not lending a…
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Losing Weight, Looking for Advice
Hi there - New Here This is my first post so forgive me if there are any formatting errors and length. I am one of the caregivers for my great aunt, late 70s, who I believe has end middle to late stage. We placed her in MC back in August because she lived alone and it was just becoming too much for her. Since entering the…
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Incontinence
My dad has become completely incontinent as far as urinating. He soaks the bed he sleeps in with my mom and she is completely fed up...she and the assisted living staff have to change the bedding every day. He soaks all the blankets and now we need to replace the mattress (although we have a mattress protector on the…
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Advice on Transition to MC
Hi. With reluctance and fear, we are going to move my Dad from independent living with my Mom into MC. I know this is a painful process for all families, My Mom and Dad have been together for 65+ years. My family is scared that my Dad will become very angry at us, especially my Mom (the dutiful wife). We don't know what…
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New Youtube Videos -Medications / Depression
I just watched a new youtube video "Ask Dr. Tam Questions with Tam Cummings PhD" from Jan 7 and she provides information for some of the "should I or shouldn't I" questions about continuing meds for dementia for anyone who is interested. It's a little over an hour. Linked below. I also watched a short but interesting video…
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Another decision to make with surgery
My DH had knee replacement and is recovered. I am glad he had it done, but I do see a decline since surgery. He has less interests now. We did puzzling often and now he sits and watches me, or follows me around all day. Sits more. Three years after cataract surgery a growth started on the eyelid. Biopsy were negative. We…
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Showering
I’ve been trying to get my dh to take a shower for almost two weeks now. When asked if he wants a shower he’s usually agreeable, I wash his back and then he is able to wash himself, however, this past couple of weeks he has either refused to shower, or as soon as he’s ready to enter the shower he gets irritated and then…
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What would they do in a different country?
I always hear that healthcare is better in other countries, so I'm wondering what a better healthcare system would do in this situation. My husband was in the hospital for 4 weeks for ulcerative colitis and complications. His colon got better, so he was discharged home. He is malnourished (still won't eat well), has…
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Crashing
Oh hey all. It's me…crashing hard again. I wish I had the strength that so many of you show, but I'm just exhausted and so heartbroken. The holidays were rough…trying to get her medication mixture together to slow the constant motion and get her some sleep at night. I have the sleep part tamed for now, but it seems her…
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The Story of Ralph Carmona
The Alzheimer's Association (the sponsor of this forum) posted on their facebook page some "feel good" stories of people with AD in December. I'm finally getting around to sharing one of those posts with this group, the story of Ralph Carmona. Their version leaves out some interesting details. Ralph has a PhD in Political…
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Proper bed for home
Hello - I am new to the community and working to arrange 24 hour care in home for an older brother who likely has dementia (evaluations are underway and he just moved to a rehab setting from a hospital). We need to have him live on the first floor when he returns and wondered if a hospital type bed is necessary. He is able…
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DH is now at peace
I lost my DH of 38 years today. I was visiting him at MC as I did every day, and he was a little more aware of me and walking a little better than he has been of late so we were having a good visit. Gave me a kiss, responded “I love you too” when I told him I loved him. The nurse saw him walking with me and stopped to tell…
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Resentful and guilty
Hi all, I'm a newbie here. I cared for my dad when he had dementia and "lucky" for me he was a sweet warm wonderful person who always knew his family right til the end (died from other than alzheimers). My husband now has dementia, and he is not sweet, warm or wonderful. He has never admitted to a problem, refuses to…
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I am new here
Hi everyone! Brand new here. Been caring for my grandmother for 5yrs with alz/dementia. Just def having burnout with no support. Thanks for you all being here
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STAGE 8 - There is no other side of grief...
My soulmate husband Lonny passed August 12. I feel lost most of the time but am trying to find myself without him. Found this on a Facebook post today. So true. I had my own notion of grief. I thought it was the sad time, that followed the death of someone you love. And you had to push through it to get to the other side.…
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Taking it away
Mom is in an amazing Alf. Over the last 4 months, I notice a "progression " in her memory, which before we had half hour before she would forget conversation, now it's immediate. She used to come to my house every Sunday to spend the day, now after 30 45 min she wants to ho home. Even on holidays. Beyond that she has been…
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Early onset support group in Illinois
My spouse has early onset Alzheimer's . We live in Elgin Illinois and I was wondering if there are any support groups that meet maybe weekly in the Northern Illinois area. I feel like it would help greatly if she could meet with others who have reduced memories in a small group setting. They have a memory cafe here that…
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Parent losing a lot of weight
Hi, My 87 year old LO has vascular dementia, and she is only eating 30% of her food. She has lost 20 pounds 5' 7" 110 lbs. She was at the dentist recently, so her teeth are not bugging her. She is verbal, repeats herself, she can still play cards, the doctor said she is in the middle to late stage of dementia. It is a…