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1st night in MC tonight!
The move went well from her AL which was 20 minutes away to MC only 6 minutes from me. She seemed okay. Until I had to leave and she realized I was leaving. Rookie mistake - she has her cell phone. Right after I got home the director called me to inform me that everything is ok and it’s normal but she is upset that my…
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Father Refusing Help
Our 80 YO father was in an auto accident requiring around the clock care, and refusing home healthcare or rehab centers. He also has been victim to a financial scam recently and is making poor decisions and is paranoid and verbally abusive. What can we do if he refuses outside professional help and a mental fitness,…
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Deception but not the usual topic
my mom has dementia and I've well read on the topic of the tendency to lie to fill in memory holes, or confabulation. I cannot find any material on this behavior: We will giver her a plate of food and ask her to be sure to eat it all. Total of 4+ ozs between all the items so not a large helping by any reasonable gauge.…
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Cups and silverware
Looking for recommendations on cups and silverware for my mother. Mom opens every cup I have purchased. She flips, twists, pops….whatever it takes to get the lid off. Not entirely sure why she’s focused on that but I was hoping there are some recommendations on mugs or cups etc. Silverware- I have seen adaptable silverware…
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Painful Delusions
For about 7-8 years my step dad and I were the main caregivers (we luckily eventually had in home care almost 24/7, but we still managed a lot) for my grandma with dementia, my mom completely checked out and couldn’t face it. It’s been about 8 years since my grandma passed and now my mom is showing signs. We are still…
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Feeling utterly awful and needing some space to express myself
I haven't been here in a few weeks. My mom finally left the hospital and went into MC on August 19. Everything was going better than expected. She was adapting and rarely asked about me, which, while bittersweet, was good. However, she was rushed to the ER Friday night. She developed COVID. She's 90. It has turned into…
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Caregiving has isolated me. Age 35 and burnt out
I am burnt out caregiving my mom with dementia. It wouldnt be so bad if I had community where I live— We recently moved to las vegas area to be near my sister so she could help out with mom too (I used to live in California). However me and my mom know no one here and its been very strange having no community or friends…
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Asking when to go home continuously today
Hello all, So everyday/week it’s something new to loop over. Apparently today my Lap is aware we are in the beginning of the month based off of something he read in the paper. This has set him on looping of needing to know his bills are paid and there is enough money in his accounts. He still has a whole house that will…
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Anger from loosing driver’s license
This is my first post. I care for my mom and dad who have dementia. They are not advanced but in the mild/medium stages. They have different dementias. My dad has three different areas affected including the front part of his brain. This controls his reasoning, understanding, etc. The doctors have had his driver’s license…
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When urgent care, when to accept what cannot be controlled?
Thank you in advance. 94 YO mom has moderate mixed AD/VD and severe small vessel disease. Low BP, no history of stroke, never-smoker. Doesn’t drink enough water. Zero meds except eyedrops. Lives in an independent community with AL services for eyedrop administration. She functions mostly on her own still. We suspect she…
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Can't get official early onset diagnosis of dementia for my mom from PCP
For the past 2-3 years we've had a hard time getting an official diagnosis of Dementia for my 84 yr old mom. She appears to have all the early symptoms. She forgets the day of the week. Except for making toast she can't remember how to cook, she repeats herself all the time, she forgets my oldest sister is married, etc.…
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Expenses
Mom has early onset dementia. I am on her checking/savings accounts and have set most things up on auto-pay. There have been some monthly expenses that I have been paying directly and having her write me a check each month to pay me back. Is this a big no-no or red flag for Medicaid down the line? Or is it okay as long as…
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New and Need Advice
My Daddy was diagnosed with early onset dementia about 9 years ago. Things have rapidly declined in the last 6 months. He had an episode a month ago where he was missing for 15 hours. Ended up finding him in a field where his side by side had gotten stuck. He has that and a golf cart because he locked his keys in his truck…
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Driving
New here - struggling with making decisions. Mom is 89. I've been noticing cognitive decline since 2022. Just got official diagnosis on Friday through an MMSE test. She scored 26/30 last year and 21/30 this year which seems like a fast decline. She is still driving and I am struggling on whether it's time to pull the keys…
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My sister doesn't get it.
My mom is mid-diagnosis, determining which type of dementia she has. My mother-in-law passed with Alzheimers about 10 years ago, so I know what I'm seeing. Mom lives 3/4 time with my sister and 1/4 time with me. My sister gets very frustrated (understandably) with my mom. She vents to me (fine) and I try to explain to her…
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Activating springing DPOA
My mom's MCI is getting worse. How do I get my mom to the doctor to declare her incompacitated? What kind of fiblets can I use to coax my mom to see the doctor? I'm going to schedule a visit to her PCP and see if she can get a referral to see her neurologist to conduct a neuropsychological test to determine how impaired…
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Update on the move and my LO
Hi Everyone, It has been just over a month and a half(about 6 weeks) since bringing my father for his visit. Which is his now home/long term stay. He is now telling me we need to look into flights for him to go back home. He truly thinks nothing is wrong with him. I feel like he is at the cusps of Memory Care and home. He…
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Hospice
Joy has transferred from the hospital to hospice care…we are days not weeks to saying goodbye…. NeverFearTheDream #JoyInAlzheimer’s simplebender.com
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Mom in and out of delirium in hospital
I'm feeling very lost and confused on how best to help my mom, who lived independently and has recently had two falls that she doesn't remember. (Early in the morning, either disoriented or sleepwalking.) The latest resulted in her fracturing her pelvis. At first, we did our best to care for her at home with home health…
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Mom sang to me 🤗
Hello Alzconnect Family. Today's visit was nice, Momma sang to me. Sometimes visits are nice. I kissed prayed and hugged her. God bless. ✌️
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new pcp
Took MIL to her new-ish PCP yesterday. Definitely going to look for someone else. This was her second time with this one, as her usual one that we liked left the practice, and now we know for sure this new one doesn't have experience with a PWD. What PCP said: 'you know you need to bathe, change clothing and underwear…
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Finally made an appointment with CELA - any advice?
Soooo…with my mom safely placed in MC, and DPOA, etc. done, I have finally made an appointment with a CELA. I am so clueless: what should I ask? Obviously will ask about financial planning and services. What else? It is really just an intake interview but a big first step for me. I have been thankful we have made finances…
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Will a distinct dementia diagnosis make a difference?
My mother is 88 years old and has been demonstrating mental decline for many years. She lives with my Stepfather who has been doing the heavy lifting almost exclusively for the years of this decline. 8 months ago, they asked to move closer to me because they knew they'd need more help as time progressed and they wanted to…
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Here we go again -Sorry this is long
There's nothing like a toxic family to make caregiving unbearable. I spent 7 years caregiving for two elderly family members with dementia. I have two siblings that questioned absolutely EVERYTHING and would not listen to me even though I was the one doing the actual work. I spent as much time explaining and defending…
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Honeymoon period after move to ALF?
It’s been 3 weeks since my mom moved into an ALF. After a couple of nasty days , she seems to have accepted the routine and is very different. While at home with me she would just stay in her room calling her friend, she wouldn’t get up till mid afternoon , wouldn’t come down for meals, was basically becoming a mushroom.…
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Feeling Guilty/Stressed
Hi Everyone - first time here. My father had a stroke last March and was diagnosed with Alzheimer's/Dementia....he is around Stage 4-5. I am an only child and we had to move him in with my family....Husband and 2 kids (13 and 11). It's been a little over a year and it's really taking a toll on me. My job is being really…
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ER again
My dad fell again yesterday. It's the 3rd fall in 2 weeks. He scraped his hand pretty badly and paramedics took him to the ER when his BP was over 200/100. Hospice nurse says he's going to end up bed bound if he keeps getting up from his wheelchair and falls. Mom has been encouraging him to keep walking as much as…
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Feeling guilty
We’re moving my mom into a smaller apartment in Independent Living this weekend since I’ve had to up her caregiver hours recently and the cost of her 1-bedroom has recently gone up significantly. My hope is to give her more time where she is happy before making a bigger move. But of course she’s just annoyed and unhappy…