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Caring out of obligation. Love is gone.
I grew up thinking my mom and I were close. Sure we had our issues, and we got into major fights a few times a year, but I was always convinced it was my fault and she was a Saint to deal with me. It wasn't until around the time she was diagnosed with Alzheimer's 8 yrs ago that it was brought to my attention my mom was a…
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undiagnosed parent
Hi there - This is my first time at any board or group. I've joined because neither me or my sister know what to do or how to move forward. My mother is 72 and physically very healthy, but I think that she has dementia, some form of Alzheimer's, or paranoia, or a combination. For the past two years or so she has been very…
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What do I do next?
Hi everyone. I’m new to this forum and I am finding it so so helpful. My mom was diagnosed with dementia in 2017 but was already underway. She refused to take the test to let us know if it was Alzheimer’s or not and didn’t even tell anybody. We found out in 2019 when my dad had several strokes and was hospitalized. She was…
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Tips for dealing with some issues I am having with my FIL (85)
Hello, I am primary caregiver during the day for my father-in-law who has been dealing with memory issues 10 years, diagnosed with Alzheimers 2 years ago. And Jennifer previous post about this being hard is on point. I am getting frustrated bc he can't control his bladder at night and I am washing sheets every day. He is…
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New to This
My mom (58) was recently diagnosed towards the end of 2023. We have been noticing memory things here and there for a while but she always was in denial and refused to get checked out. Last summer, my siblings and I realized her bills had stopped being paid. Then she got fired from her job unexpectedly for forgetting…
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Finding balance while managing guilt.
My mom is heavily dependent on me. Even though my mother is living in a AL, she expects and asks to see me everyday. I try to see her as much as I can as I know seeing me comforts her but I am having trouble balancing everything. In addition to caring for her, I also am trying to maintain my own household, care for my…
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Unconditional vs Obligation
The apple certainly doesn't fall far from the tree. I simply can't cope with caring for her personal challenges and then all of the other incidentals- bills, wills and care for example. I've been managing her bills, finances, doctors visits, care for 5+ years. Has it been easy, no. Has it been emotionally manageable, yes.…
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Moving Mom to Memory Care tomorrow
My mom was diagnosed almost 6 years ago with early onset Alz at the age of 59. Tomorrow, I am moving her into memory care. I am telling her a therapeutic fib that her house is getting work done so she has to stay in an apartment for awhile. I think this will suffice. I am so sad and anxious. Any advice?
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Getting HIPPA Access
How do you get HIPPA access when the person with dementia doesn't want you to have it? Right now, her sister is the only person she allows to go with her to her doctor visits. However, both her sister and my husband have medical POA's and he also has a regular POA. My husband and I moved in with her to care for her in July…
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Memory care transition and selling the house
Hi everyone. I’m new to this forum and I am finding it so so helpful. My dad was diagnosed with mild cognitive impairment in 2021 and it has gotten progressively worse. His new diagnosis is VD. He is 76 and in very good physical health. My mom passed in 2020 after an extended health struggle, and my brother moved in and…
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Is this usual?
Is it usual for a doctor not to tell the patient that they have Alzheimer’s? My mom has not been told her diagnosis. I understand that it may cause depression or a feeling of hopelessness, but I truly think my mom needs to know why she is forgetting things and losing the ability to care for herself. Thoughts?
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Family Giving Me Conflicting Advice
Hi everyone! I (25) am the main caretaker for my mother (59) who was diagnosed with Alzheimer's back in 2022. Recently we've noticed some progression, she recently forgot my name for the first time so it's kicked my brain in to focusing on things like a will and POA. I was talking to my aunt the other night asking her…
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How do you get through your day?
What keeps you going when you feel just so defeated?
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Mobility concern
Hello everyone. My mother is 75 years old and was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s and vascular dementia officially in 2020. Lately, my mom has been needing more help with walking around the house. Last week, she fell in the bathroom; she was looking in the mirror and just fell backwards. I’ve also noticed that she leans to her…
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Dad's caregiver
My dad is currently going through the stages rather rapid. It seems like overnight he forgot who I am. Some days are good as he can remember current activities but most days he can't retain information. It's so painful to watch him try so hard to be as he calls it normal again. Knowing he will never regain his memory as…
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Mother gave my brother and sister-in-law POA and all legal powers but they don’t want to do anything
Hello all- I am new to this community. My mother is in the process of her diagnosis and it has been hell. She has been diagnosed with “Mild Cognitive Impairment” but the MRI shows severe damages from silent strokes. She failed her driver license exam because of 4 critical driving errors (1 CDE disqualifies you). She has…
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My mom just got diagnosed yesterday, please help
Hi everyone. My mom is 69 and was just diagnosed with Alzheimer’s yesterday. The neurologist did not give me any information on what stage she’s in but I want to be prepared and know what’s coming. She is mostly still functional, she can cook, do dishes, shower, use the restroom, walk around independently. She remembers…
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Online counseling for caregiver support and those dealing with a hoarder?
Hi all, new to the forum and appreciate that its here. Does anyone know of an online counselor for caregiver of family support - especially those dealing with lifelong hoarders? I prefer online/virtual sessions and timezone is not a concern. My Mom (72) has Alzheimers and I am her POA, Guardian and Trustee. She is highly…
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I am hurting
I lost my momma this morning and I don’t know how to feel
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Trying to Manage
Since my FIL has been staying with us, he just seems to be getting more difficult to care for. We have received a referral to neurologist for my FIL so we will be making an appointment to hopefully get an official diagnosis, medications/treatment. We have reached out to attorney regarding POA. In the meantime, we’re…
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What to do?
My sister and I are so confused as what to do??? Our mother has a delusion of being harassed by a neighbor that doesn't exist. She believes he knows the code to get into her house and many other concerning delusions about this character. We tried to tell her months ago some of the things she was experiencing were…
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Seeking support
Good evening all, My mom was diagnosed with Alzheimer's last dementia about 4 or 5 years ago but she refuses to get a neurology treat test to see how far along she is. She is a fighter all the way, she's angry aggressive Sundowns paranoid and all of that. Then at other times she can be very pleasant and sweet I am afraid…
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Feeling frustrated
I am new to the community. My mom is 77 years old. She has not been diagnosed with dementia but definitely can tell her cognitive skills are not up to par. She thinks things around house are turning black,blames my Dad for all of it(inside & outdoor plants,floors,cabinets,etc),wipes floors and cabinets with olive oil. She…
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the first steps in the journey
Hi there, I'm caring for my MIL and while our family is aware and in agreement about our concerns with her possible diagnosis, I'm feeling stuck with how to put in place the necessary things like POA and medical POA. Mom has started becoming aggressive and is absolutely in denial about our concerns. I don't know how to get…
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Dementia defies all logic
She’s stashing half eaten cookies in her closet. And thinks she caught cancer while attending college. (She was diagnosed with cancer at 80 years of age). She asked me why she didn’t give her parents cancer since they were all living in the same house. How can someone who does/thinks these things still respond with clever…
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I can't do this alone anymore
I have realized that I just can't visit my mom in the NH anymore by myself. It's emotionally exhausting! I asked some family members, if I can meet them when they visit and told them how I am struggling going by myself. They said yes! I am so grateful and feeling blessed to have a loving family who are supportive. My Pride…
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Mom calling every night demanding to leave
Hi! New here. I have my mom in memory care as her Alzheimer’s is progressing. She is calling us and threatening suicide if we don’t get her out of there. We took her to the hospital and she spent some time there getting her meds adjusted. We took the cell phone away as she was calling non-stop. Do we just go along and say…
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Dealing with death of someone LO with Alz knew
My MIL is in the later stage, of middle stage ALZ. Her BIL recently passed, and her children plan to take her to visitation and funeral. MIL didn't like this BIL - he seemed to enjoy needling her about the smallest thing (I saw this myself). She basically hasn't had much contact with anyone in my late FIL's family for 15…
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Guardianship
Has anyone had experience with having to get guardianship over a parent because they were so resistant and refused help? It seems like such an ugly process. I am going to do everything I can to avoid going in that direction but I am afraid that my mom is so stubborn and she will make terrible mistakes on her own... TIA for…