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Help! To move or not to move a parent diagnosed with dememtia
Mom was diagnosed in January 2024. She mechanically very functionally. Sister and I can’t agree about moving her from where she has lived for 24 years to where sister and I live. Mom started showing signs of memory lose two years prior to diagnosis. How does one determine if moving is right or not as I have heard horror…
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Compassion fatigue.
In the last three hours it’s been: My butt hurts. I didn’t sleep. I’m dizzy. I’m nauseous. I’m constipated. I’m tired. I can’t breathe. My tongue is hot. It feels red. (New one)) Sometimes, I just have to sit down and concentrate on being calm.
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Alleviating my mother's guilt
My mother is in the early stage of mixed dementia. I have lived out of state and have been coming more frequently to 1) spend time with her and 2) give her husband a break. I want to stay about 2 weeks of each month. Because of this, I have been looking to purchase a home in the area. My mother gets very agitated at this…
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New fast progressing signs of Dementia
Hi new here and in search of helpful feedback. My 85 year old dad has not been officially diagnosed with dementia yet but his pcp and er doctors all agree that he is showing all signs of being that. His behavior has changed so rapidly. He started with spying on all of us, my mom, my boyfriend and myself. We thought it was…
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Just a quick positive moment
Today I went to visit and mom had once again disconnected, and hidden, her landline. I finally found it, nowhere near her room. We’ll give it one more try before I give up. She has a lot of emotions and is less and less in reality - she thinks she’s flying to her childhood home 3,000 miles away tomorrow. But she’s still…
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how do you afford Memory Care facility?
My mom is on the waitlist for a memory care facility. I really wish they weren't so pricey. It's bizarre. Is this a topic that everyone just stresses over? Anyone else here put their loved one in a memory care facility? How were you able to manage it financially?
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What can I do?
Please help. I'm looking for advice & support. I'm an only child & my 84 year old mother is in the throws of vascular Dementia. She was moved to her 3rd facility in September 2023 since first leaving her home to go into a facility November 2019. February 13, 2024 i was informed she'd tripped on her bedding & stumbled. This…
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i am 44 caring for mom with mixed dementia
Any guidance for someone who is trying to care for a mom with mixed dementia and continue to raise a family and work full time? I can not quit my job nor bring my mom into my house as there is no room, I am trying to keep her at home but I am apprehensive with what that will entail as she progresses.
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"lost in current time"?
Tam Cummings lists this as a late stage 5 characteristic. But I’m not quite sure what it means? Also, recently I’ve noticed that when MIL refers to “my family”, she always means her nuclear family as a child. Is this just an indication of her older memories being stronger than more recent memories? We had a recent…
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Need to Move Mom from AL to MC
I moved Mom into AL in January after MUCH convincing and lies that it would only be for a few weeks. She went downhill when she arrived, had behavioral issues and was placed on an involuntary psych hold due to comments and behaviors she was exhibiting. Her medications were adjusted and she is now settling in, but due to…
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LO with ALZ
Thirteen years or so ago my Mom started to get angry. She and I worked together; she was the boss and I was one of the employees. My Mom wanted things done a certain way and she also started to exhibit memory issues. Then suddenly one month she got hit by a nasty illness that resulted in her being put in a medically…
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How do you keep in touch with friends and family?
My dad moved to memory care about a month ago. He moved states, about a 5 hour drive, to be in a facility closer to me. At first I had hoped the MC staff would be able to help my dad talk on the phone or zoom with friends/family, but I don’t really think that’s something they do. My dad doesn’t have his phone because he…
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Worried
My mom who is 68 has shown drastic changes. She was showing odd symptoms even before she retired. She told me she probably shouldn't have been working at times because she was so discombobulated. She has trouble with memory, sleep, depression, anger. Not diagnosed. She refuses to take hardly any medication, even for pain.…
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New paranoia- Passenger Seat
It was around a year ago when I first saw my mother have a severe panic attack riding in the passenger seat. I had no idea why she was so upset, she couldn't look at the road, and eventually started crying. I try to comfort her from the back seat. The person driving wasn't speeding and it was not heavy traffic yet she kept…
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I am two people to my mom/MC or AL
I am new here-My mom was diagnosed with mixed dementia. She knows all of her kids names but for some reason she gets me confused and sees me as another child. She will talk to me about me, not realizing it is me. I have tried to play along and tried to delicately share I am the same person but she just not understand or…
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Catastrophic Reaction to pain
My mother, 83 , Mixed Dementia (Vascular & Alzheimers) mid to late stage, lives with me and has been Physically able to transfer and walk with a walker us to this point. However, she had a fall last week, and even though she didn't fracture her hip or pelvic area, she is reacting to the pain in such a severe and dramatic…
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Loved One Not Wanting to Go to A Home
Hi everyone. I'm new here and happy to join this community. I have an 88 year old grandmother who is approaching late stage Alzheimer's but needs to go to a care facility and doesn't want to. I have mentioned it once every 1-2 weeks for the last month but she gets emotional and upset and says she's not going. I also have a…
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Resisting Move to Assisted Living
Dad has Alzheimers and Mom is wheelchair bound. They currently have 8x5 home care. It's becoming harder Dad to care for Mom when home care is not there. However, Dad doesn't realize this and thinks he's doing a "good job" taking care of her. Gets very defensive. Took them on tours of AL yesterday. Mom is willing to move,…
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Just sad & mad (long - sorry)
I stopped in to see my mom at her MC on my way to Easter services this morning. She was dressed nicely (thanks to thoughtful facility staff), and I casually asked if she might be interested in going with my family to church. She perked up and said, "yes, I was hoping to do that." This was the most lively reaction I have…
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Competency
Is there some kind of form or letter I can ask my lo’s doctor to fill out regarding competency? I am the DPOA and my brother wants mom to continue to make decisions she is not capable of making. I can’t do things unless I cream it with mom first. I think maybe something like this might help my brother see reason and avoid…
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Eating.. or not
Hi, My dad is 95. His appetite is becoming less and less. My problem is that his aide is determined for him to eat even when he says he doesn't want to. I was not a good eater when I was little, so as an adult I have a difficult time making him eat when he doesn't want to. I have told her repeatedly not to make him eat if…
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Eating- moderate stage AD
Hello- I’m looking for some feedback on an issue. My mother is 94 and has moderate AD. She’s in Memory Care in Assisted Living. She’s lost almost 30 pounds since being moved there in October. My concern is that the staff only ask her if she wants something to eat but don’t present her with food. She will always says no.…
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SO MUCH FIGHTING!
We toured a lovely MC facility today. My mom cried about the room but quickly befriended all of the lovely ladies there and was very happy. We're going to see if taking donepezil again helps her manage in her current living situation and if not she is moving to MC. All my husband and I do is fight because he's sick of it…
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Shower / bath help
My father has late stage Alzheimers and moved into MC fairly early into the progression. As a result, personal care was handled by staff. So I'm in completely new territory now and in over my head. My parents-in-law have moved in with us as they were no longer able to live alone. They are mobile, able to walk, dress, eat…
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Question for the younger caregivers
I’m 51 caring for 80 year old spouse. This is a question for people like me who have given up work to be full time care givers. How do you plan for your future? What steps have you taken to stay active and engaged mentally, physically, creatively, socially, and career-wise? What are your plans for returning to paid work…
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Wore-Out & Stressed
Hi, i am Reda, i reside in Mphs, Tn with my gorgeous mother(75) who suffered strokes 3 yrs ago & now has Dementia😩😢 & i am New Here & her sole caregiver & i am just physically/ mentally & emotionally wore out + stressed bad. My mom was still able too walk,go to the bathroom & she went into rehab & they neglected her & she…
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Need advice--meds, good days, bad days, anticipatory grief
Hi, this is long but I don't know that it can be abbreviated. My mom is 86 and has been having symptoms of dementia for the past couple years. I don't know which kind she has because she has not been formally diagnosed by a neurologist. I suspect it is lewy body. Anyway, it has gotten really bad last November after having…
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Increased confusion after Covid?
A few weeks ago my mom got Covid and had to be hospitalized, which coincided with me being away for 8 days. She is now physically fine, but the MC called the Occupational therapist for increased confusion. It is true she is having more difficulty with words, and some behaviors (e.g. took her shirt off in my car). Can Covid…
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POSITIVE BALANCE
When I was a caregiver, I was on a seesaw. One side was attending to the needs of those I cared for, and the other side was attending to my own needs. Both sides were important. Both sides needed attention. The aim was to keep the seesaw balanced so one side did not go crashing to the ground. Perhaps looking back, I…
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