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How's your Mom doing?
People mean well when they ask this question, but I know I'm not the only one who struggles through an answer. Something honest would sound a bit like, "well I guess that depends on what we're comparing her current state to. Compared to my mom before this disease deteriorated half of her brain mass, she's doing pretty…
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false memories(1)
Hi all! I'm new here. My mom was diagnosed with mild dementia last December, they thought probably Alzheimer's, but maybe some vascular dementia also. I live with her, but she is fairly high functioning. The thing that has caught me most off guard recently, she started telling me about when she went to Israel. She's never…
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How do I convince my siblings that I need their help?
I've been living with and caring for my mom for several years. Her dementia has progressed to the point that I don't feel she should be alone. Since Covid, I've been almost her entire social outlet. We are together almost 24/7, except for the rare times my sister decides to take her out. Inevitably, they go have time with…
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Helping a friend with severe memory loss (undiagnosed)
I'm trying to help a friend who can't remember much of anything. She's 77 and has no family. She is suspicious of most people that want to help her. She reached out to me because she remembered that we both have reverse mortgages. Hers is in foreclosure because she forgets to pay property taxes and homeowner's insurance. I…
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An odd behavior
I have a really odd situation with my mom...I know this may sound crazy...but when my mom sits at the table to eat she sits kinda sideways in her chair and far from the table and always makes a mess on her and floor. If I say anything or make a big deal out of scooting my chair up it doesn't phase her.Anybody else ever…
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LO didn't recognize me.
Today was the first time that my mom didn't recognize me. After a few seconds she knew who I was. Later she told me that she didn't recognize her husband or have any memory of being married to him for 20 years. Several hours later I asked if she knew who I was and she said that she did, but that I looked older than she…
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Moving to MC???
My mother is 77 and has late state Alzheimer's. She has been living with me for the past year and half. In the past few weeks she's become weak and is losing her mobility. Although she receives palliative/hospice care with a nurse that checks on her once a week and an aid that helps with showers 3 times a week it suddenly…
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Long COVID and brain fog
My significant other pointed me to this twitter thread by Hannah Davis, who I'm guessing is a doctor, and who co-wrote a soon-to-be peer reviewed paper on long COVID and brain fog. The twitter thread is here: https://twitter.com/ahandvanish/status/1343293625724235776 I thought the thread was interesting enough that I…
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stick a fork in me - I am done! (Venting)
MIL returned to our house 2 weeks ago after a 3 month visit to Sib #3. Before she returned to us, I told DH that I was pretty much at the breaking point and I wouldn't be able to handle much more in terms of MIL's accusations of theft, raising rent, etc. DH said he understood and said he'd draft an email to all sibs…
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Repeated ER Trips Initiated by Memory Care Facility
Hi friends. I'm writing with respect to my mother who recently moved into a memory care facility. She's been acting out with aggression towards other residents from time to time. We know that there is no evidence of any underlying medical conditions beyond dementia itself. She's simply very angry at this point in her…
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Broken vs. can’t operate something
We’ve had many times in the past where my FIL loses something and is convinced it is misplaced. Last night he called us from his MC at 2:00 am saying his brand new shaver is broken. We said we’d take care of it. Caregiver checked this am and it works fine. We are thinking for whatever reason he just couldn’t work it (and…
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New diagnosis for LO: dementia psychosis
My mom is in a great facility about an hour 45 from me. Got a call yesterday that she was out of control aggression and they couldn't calm her down. they were afraid that she was going to hurt herself. So they sent her to the ER. i was able to go and be with her. the ER doctor finally diagnosed mom with dementia psychosis…
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Finally moving? Last minute jitters
Both my parents have cognitive problems--mom with Alzheimer's, dad with brain damage from a fall and brain surgery. They have been living in their own home, managing pretty well with a lot of support from me (after a very difficult few months), but I am well aware that we are one small step away from bigger problems. I…
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We've got to get MIL some rest
Can anyone provide me with suggestions please. My MIL is the primary caregiver for my FIL. She is so exhausted and needs a break and some sleep. My husband and I would like to be able to help out by keeping FIL busy or keeping an eye on him so MIL can get a shower, alone time or some sleep. We see how he follows her around…
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It's Possible to take a Short Vacation with LO
Just a quick post to say that we successfully took a short 2 night/3 day vacation with my son who has Alzheimer's. Just he and I and his brother who is also a caregiver. Went to a cabin in the mountains of northeast Arizona, a 5 hour drive. It was glorious weather and great to breathe fresh mountain air. While there, could…
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Vacation, Guilt, Hard Decisions
Looking for advice on how all the caregivers on here handle vacations. Bear with me me, please, if you have time to read this. Background: My mom lives with me and has roughly moderate level dementia. Long term memory great. Short term memory, focus level, and behaviors awful. With the help of a home aide, I give her her…
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Any advice re: meds?
My mom is in AL and calls me most every day saying she doesn't get her meds. I know they give them to her. We've addressed this issue and they have her initial her calendar each day after she takes them. Now she says that's not her writing. Any one have any ideas on how else to reassure her that she is getting her…
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LO obsessed with baby doll
I had gotten my Mom a kitten that purrs when you pet it that she really enjoyed. For Mother's Day, I got her a baby doll. She loved it, kissed it, talked to it, and cuddled with it. I got a call from MC. They said Mom has become obsessed with the baby. She won't put it down. She is not eating because she won't put the baby…
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nearing the end of the journey
My DH took a real nosedive about 2 weeks ago and is now under hospice care. They are anticipating several weeks but I don't see that long. Such a big piece of me wants this journey over for everyone. It is breaking my heart to see my big strong man now laying in bed unable to move. Yet there is still a piece that can't…
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should I stay or should I go... noooowwww
opposite world:yes = no, girl = boy and visa versa. Oh my goodness, the communication issues. So baffling. The last couple of days have been very trying for me. I actually felt my skin crawl, needing to get awaaaayyyyyyy!!! I’m thinkint it’s time to step back even more. Although I am the primary caregiver for my mom, I…
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Classic Stumped Town
If you are in need of a laugh... Mother's Day Misery - What did you get your mother for Mother's Day? We got ours torture. https://www.stumpedtowndementia.com/post/mother-s-day-dementia-misery
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Recent diagnosis. Need help/advice/a place to vent
My father a fall in January 2021. When I tell you it was an overnight change, I mean exactly that. The night before his fall, he was perfectly fine. The morning he fell, all of a sudden he is incontinent, trouble walking. Literally an overnight change though I was noticing some memory loss a couple month prior to the fall,…
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96-year-old Mother
After 35 years of living independently in her townhome, following our father's death, my mother had a fall last November which resulted in hip and wrist surgery. Since then she's had two more falls and is in a senior center, needing care for dressing, bathroom, meals, etc. She now mainly lives in a wheelchair. She's always…
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Memory Care - Price negotiations
Hi everyone, We have decided we are getting my mom out of her current place ASAP. I sincerely appreciate all the advice I've gotten on my previous post. Thank you! I am in the process of finding her new place. I was just wondering if anyone ever negotiates the cost of assisted living? If so how does that work? We don't…
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Late night adventures, help please?
My dad takes naps during the day (I don't think he should be) and then at night he seems to find a reason to get up. Example 1: waking us up at 2am requesting an appointment. When asking why, he struggles to think of a reason and then will say "my hip" or "leg". He has sciatica and we have been to doctors, he take…
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Trauma and Dementia
My mother has been paddling through dementia for years now. At first my father took care of her, mostly on his own when she was in the initial stages. About a year ago she started sleeping a lot and became disinterested in her usual activities. At that point my siblings and I brought on a helper once a week to try to give…
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Dr. took mom off all meds
My mother was on Memantine, Donepezil and Quetiapine. The first 2 caused her explosive, continual diarrhea the last caused her extreme skin picking. This is the 2nd day and I have noticed that she is better so far. I read where Quetiapine should never be given to Alz patients, but at the day care center everyone of them…
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Testing for me for ALZ
Mom has Alz. I want to know what test are available for early screening for me. Does anyone know?
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Paranoia/Delusional
My mother is moving into this phase and at times is convinced "they" are going to kill her and her dog. Looking for advise! Thanks!
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Dad in AL for 6 weeks - how often should we visit
We moved my dad into AL 6 weeks ago. Before that he lived with my mom for 62+ years. So this is new for all of us. After a 2 week quarantine, we have been able to visit my dad 2 times a week. We have a hard time getting my mom to visit him once a week and so I have been going twice a week since the beginning. Except this…