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short-lived
I know fluctuations are to be expected, but I was so hopeful that we'd turned a corner and I would be able to spend time with my partner on a regular basis. No such luck. I tried again to take lunch yesterday, and while it had worked very well on Tuesday, it didn't work at all yesterday. She was unhappy, crying, upset,…
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Finally visited my husband
My husband has been in memory care for 20 days. I visited for the first time today. When I got there he was sitting with a group of 8 people in a circle on couches and chairs and he was laughing with the ladies on either side of him. Others in the group were also engaged with each other. There were staff all around and the…
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I'm pretty sure I'm not going to make it.....
DH is on one of his "I'm headed out" days and will not believe he lives here. Or that he is married to me. Wants to go home and see his mother............home is long time sold and mother is deat..........says nobody told him she died or they sold the house.........nobody ever tells him anything.........people steal his…
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Follow up on robotic therapy pets
In a previous thread I asked for others' experiences with these robotic toy animals as companions for dementia patients. I have watched my wife showing interest in a robotic toy dog and cat that others in her MC facility have, so I went ahead and presented her with her own puppy yesterday morning. It moves its head, barks,…
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His opinion
DH, who hasn’t showered, shaved or changed his clothes in a week, just told me the outfit I’m wearing does nothing for me. Without thinking about it, I responded TOO BAD.
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Homeless
Well dw thinks I have been gone for a long time and thinks I should leave this is her home. Nothing is working. Doc is out of pocket, I texted him about the depakote and he said to discontinue it. So here we go. If this doesn't clear up its gonna be an er visit. I can't believe how quick things have changed. Still don't…
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She gets a little better but than it gets worse
DW has had a few good hours every so often but the bad times are getting worse. DW is in Depends but have one heck of a time trying to get a clean pair on. Cleaning her up in shower, she is hollaring etc. Bed time, she doesn't stay in it. Sleeps in chair in living room, I just put a blanket over her. Meal times are…
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A day by myself
My son and his fianc'ee took DH fishing for the first time this year. My plan is to go to the mall. My DH walks so slow and hobbles, so I have not gone shopping there since the year before Covid took over our lives. I plan to shop for a dress to wear to our son's wedding next month. They are having a Hawaiian themed…
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Miss Her As Was, Love Her As Is
Its been awhile since I was last here, and I offer apologies to the many Connected Companions who’ve offered support over the years. This posting is just a (fairly positive) musing. My wife and I got through the pandemic safely enough. After 400 days of lockdown in her Memory Support Center, it took awhile to re-connect…
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Funeral HELP
Does anyone have experience taking their LO to a sibling's funeral and be glad you did? Anyone have experience NOT taking their LO to the funeral and regret not taking them? Why? Thanks in advance.
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Where I’m at
Here at Casa Loca things are more or less the same. My hubby now is in Depends all the time, I am going to pitch his underwear because he hides them and I can only work on smell. I smell him now and know he has to changed. He seems to be oblivious to his situation, his solution is putting his poop in the sink. So I have…
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Remembering will have to do
It is now 4 full years since DW had any idea who I was She chews what you put in her mouth and she walks with someone holding her arm That's it. But she looks lovely, she is clean and well taken care of. There are a few grey hairs.I am heading to England and Germany on Sunday to lecture and intellectually recharge. I will…
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The driving issue
Thanks to your wise guidance, my DH and I had a fruitful discussion about his driving today. He drove me into town to pick up our car from the repair shop, and I asked him if he’s gotten lost or confused while driving. I haven’t noticed any deficits yet, and he said he hasn’t either. I said that at some point he may have…
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Peeing in public
Twice now DH has dropped drawers and peed in public. Two weeks ago, we were invited to go for a pontoon ride with the grandkids and our daughter. After the 1 hour ride, DH stood on the boat slip and peed in the lake in front of the grandchildren and others at the dock. We pointed out the portable Jon to the kids and made…
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Row row row
6/4 For the three days, she has asked, are we married?, I don't remember that, Everything is moving fast, and it's like a dream. Are we really married? Here is what I sang back Row row row your boat gently down the stream, merrily merrily merrily life is but a dream. Little did I know that things today are moving really…
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Why share your story with loved ones?
I read a wonderful three page letter another caregiver (on a different site) wrote summarizing and describing his journey with his wife and behavioral variant FTD. His situation had many similarities to mine and he captured nuances of the changes in the spousal relationship when one of you has dementia. So much of his note…
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A visit to the neurologist(1)
My DH, age 83, was diagnosed with MCI in 2020. He is very aware that he does have short term memory loss. We visited the neurologist who gave him this diagnosis yesterday. The doctor said he "doesn't think this is early Alzheimer's". I was also concerned with DH's ability to drive given his memory impairments. The doctor…
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Interesting phenomenon
A few days ago I wrote about the profound sadness I've added to my visitors list every day. A positive side effect of extreme sadness is extreme euphoria. Emotionally I have been pretty lucky and have been able do dodge any really heavy emotional trauma for 62 years. This is my first experience with some real pain. What I…
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Another day in Oz
When my wife was diagnosed I left black and white Kansas and moved to Oz in color with flying monkeys, witches and all kinds of weird stuff. I am with her 24/7 and the absolute nonsense that gets passed back and forth in conversation is exhausting. I have been reading some really good information on how nurses deal with…
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Just need to talk to my friends (174)
Hi, Not much activity on the thread this morning so thought I'd start #174. Quiet here. Early Stormy and I drove up to the MH to see the girls. Only two were down here. One was in the pond already cooling off. The others were in the shade. There's lots of trees up there, Chinese Elms, cedars and black walnut. The shade is…
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Little Lies
Since I joined this forum, this song has been running through my head, “Little Lies”, by Fleetwood Mac. “Tell me lies tell me sweet little lies…”. I have always been a stickler for the truth, and have often accused my husband of lying to me about stupid things. Knowing what I know now, he is probably just immersed his own…
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It's ok to not be ok
When my wife first got this diagnosis I grieved and was profoundly sad. I started looking for ways to deal with it emotionally and found some activities that help me distract myself from the reality of whats happening. I know I am giving myself a feel good hit of endorphins every time I exercise or overcome a physical or…
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Another question for the medical community
Before my wife passed, I thought she had a BM in the hospital bed. I pulled back the sheets, and found massive amounts of blood. I called the nurse, and two of them cleaned the bed, floor, and my wife. I was then told she would not make it. Her blood pressure dropped drastically. Today I picked up the death certificates.…
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Another loss
Home. That feeling of just wanting to be home, to feel loved, to feel safe. It’s gone now. I never know what will be awaiting me when I return from work. Just another thing this horrible disease has erased.
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Oh happy day
First good report in a long time. I took lunch today, trying to keep my expectations low--and for the first time since March, we had a really good visit. She didn't eat a bite--doesn't matter (although they are monitoring her for weight loss). She was glad to see me, relieved to see me, doesn't remember the farm or the…
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Mom wants to go home
Mom has VD and in the last two weeks has been asking for my dad (gone 20 years). Now she has had a minor stroke. Very weak on one side and this has affected her ability to eat, talk etc. She keeps asking why her arm isn't moving. On Saturday, she told me she is waiting for my Dad to come pick her up and take her home. At…
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So Far Away(1)
So Far Away Carole King So far away Doesn't anybody stay in one place anymore? It would be so fine to see your face at my door Doesn't help to know You're just time away Long ago, I reached for you and there you stood Holding you again could only do me good How I wish I could But you're so far away One more song whose…
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Happy 4th of July.
https://youtu.be/51ZPp5F5drc Try to have a nice week-end.
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VA compensation for dementia?
My DH is disabled vet because of 52 years of diabetes, acquired during his military service. He also has been suffering from a damaged retina, caused by the diabetes for about 20 years. He has vascular dementia, no doubt caused by the diabetes (stage 5 of dementia according to Tam Cummings assessment tool). As a…
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Anyone have experience with robotic therapy pets?
At my wife's MC facility a couple of women have toy dogs and cats that look, move and make sounds like real animals. They respond to touch, barking or meowing and the cats even purr with vibration. These residents carry them around lovingly and obviously enjoy loving their pet as though they were real. Other residents are…