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Where I’m at
Here at Casa Loca things are more or less the same. My hubby now is in Depends all the time, I am going to pitch his underwear because he hides them and I can only work on smell. I smell him now and know he has to changed. He seems to be oblivious to his situation, his solution is putting his poop in the sink. So I have…
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Remembering will have to do
It is now 4 full years since DW had any idea who I was She chews what you put in her mouth and she walks with someone holding her arm That's it. But she looks lovely, she is clean and well taken care of. There are a few grey hairs.I am heading to England and Germany on Sunday to lecture and intellectually recharge. I will…
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The driving issue
Thanks to your wise guidance, my DH and I had a fruitful discussion about his driving today. He drove me into town to pick up our car from the repair shop, and I asked him if he’s gotten lost or confused while driving. I haven’t noticed any deficits yet, and he said he hasn’t either. I said that at some point he may have…
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Peeing in public
Twice now DH has dropped drawers and peed in public. Two weeks ago, we were invited to go for a pontoon ride with the grandkids and our daughter. After the 1 hour ride, DH stood on the boat slip and peed in the lake in front of the grandchildren and others at the dock. We pointed out the portable Jon to the kids and made…
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Row row row
6/4 For the three days, she has asked, are we married?, I don't remember that, Everything is moving fast, and it's like a dream. Are we really married? Here is what I sang back Row row row your boat gently down the stream, merrily merrily merrily life is but a dream. Little did I know that things today are moving really…
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Why share your story with loved ones?
I read a wonderful three page letter another caregiver (on a different site) wrote summarizing and describing his journey with his wife and behavioral variant FTD. His situation had many similarities to mine and he captured nuances of the changes in the spousal relationship when one of you has dementia. So much of his note…
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A visit to the neurologist(1)
My DH, age 83, was diagnosed with MCI in 2020. He is very aware that he does have short term memory loss. We visited the neurologist who gave him this diagnosis yesterday. The doctor said he "doesn't think this is early Alzheimer's". I was also concerned with DH's ability to drive given his memory impairments. The doctor…
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Interesting phenomenon
A few days ago I wrote about the profound sadness I've added to my visitors list every day. A positive side effect of extreme sadness is extreme euphoria. Emotionally I have been pretty lucky and have been able do dodge any really heavy emotional trauma for 62 years. This is my first experience with some real pain. What I…
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Another day in Oz
When my wife was diagnosed I left black and white Kansas and moved to Oz in color with flying monkeys, witches and all kinds of weird stuff. I am with her 24/7 and the absolute nonsense that gets passed back and forth in conversation is exhausting. I have been reading some really good information on how nurses deal with…
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Just need to talk to my friends (174)
Hi, Not much activity on the thread this morning so thought I'd start #174. Quiet here. Early Stormy and I drove up to the MH to see the girls. Only two were down here. One was in the pond already cooling off. The others were in the shade. There's lots of trees up there, Chinese Elms, cedars and black walnut. The shade is…
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Little Lies
Since I joined this forum, this song has been running through my head, “Little Lies”, by Fleetwood Mac. “Tell me lies tell me sweet little lies…”. I have always been a stickler for the truth, and have often accused my husband of lying to me about stupid things. Knowing what I know now, he is probably just immersed his own…
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It's ok to not be ok
When my wife first got this diagnosis I grieved and was profoundly sad. I started looking for ways to deal with it emotionally and found some activities that help me distract myself from the reality of whats happening. I know I am giving myself a feel good hit of endorphins every time I exercise or overcome a physical or…
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Another question for the medical community
Before my wife passed, I thought she had a BM in the hospital bed. I pulled back the sheets, and found massive amounts of blood. I called the nurse, and two of them cleaned the bed, floor, and my wife. I was then told she would not make it. Her blood pressure dropped drastically. Today I picked up the death certificates.…
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Another loss
Home. That feeling of just wanting to be home, to feel loved, to feel safe. It’s gone now. I never know what will be awaiting me when I return from work. Just another thing this horrible disease has erased.
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Oh happy day
First good report in a long time. I took lunch today, trying to keep my expectations low--and for the first time since March, we had a really good visit. She didn't eat a bite--doesn't matter (although they are monitoring her for weight loss). She was glad to see me, relieved to see me, doesn't remember the farm or the…
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Mom wants to go home
Mom has VD and in the last two weeks has been asking for my dad (gone 20 years). Now she has had a minor stroke. Very weak on one side and this has affected her ability to eat, talk etc. She keeps asking why her arm isn't moving. On Saturday, she told me she is waiting for my Dad to come pick her up and take her home. At…
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So Far Away(1)
So Far Away Carole King So far away Doesn't anybody stay in one place anymore? It would be so fine to see your face at my door Doesn't help to know You're just time away Long ago, I reached for you and there you stood Holding you again could only do me good How I wish I could But you're so far away One more song whose…
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Happy 4th of July.
https://youtu.be/51ZPp5F5drc Try to have a nice week-end.
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VA compensation for dementia?
My DH is disabled vet because of 52 years of diabetes, acquired during his military service. He also has been suffering from a damaged retina, caused by the diabetes for about 20 years. He has vascular dementia, no doubt caused by the diabetes (stage 5 of dementia according to Tam Cummings assessment tool). As a…
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Anyone have experience with robotic therapy pets?
At my wife's MC facility a couple of women have toy dogs and cats that look, move and make sounds like real animals. They respond to touch, barking or meowing and the cats even purr with vibration. These residents carry them around lovingly and obviously enjoy loving their pet as though they were real. Other residents are…
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Jo - about our son -WAY OFF TOPIC
As you probably remember, he is mildly mentally handicapped, and is bi-polar. He is taking his mother's death exceptionally hard. He has been delusional again, thinking everyone is out to get him. I am the only one in our large family that he doesn't think is working with the police to have him put in prison. People are…
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My money
DH who was diagnosed with dementia a year ago, has always been very possessive about money. During 36 years of marriage, I have taken care of him, cook, clean etc. Past year since diagnosed, I am the sole caregiver. He is the breadwinner. It upsets me greatly that he doesn’t include/ consult me in making any financial…
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Suggestions needed
For the second time in a week my DH doesn’t understand why I’m living in the same house as him. He wants me to move out as it is “torture” for him when I’m there. Today I told him that it was a holiday so I couldn’t t make any plans. I told him I would leave for awhile and return later this evening. I’m sitting in a mall.…
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How to tell DH he's going to Memory Care
DH had a hospitalization with a knee injury and gout, there's an earlier post about it. My DH is now in a rehab facility to get him walking again and more strong, so he can go to Memory Care. The nurse from MC will assess him and say when he's ready to go. It's a beautiful place close to our home. Right now, he is…
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You’re human
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About that HIPPA form
https://www.hipaahq.com/hipaa-forms-explained-privacy-and-authorization/
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Can anyone help with Attorney info?
Hi everyone, I need some advice, my hubby has early onset Dementia and has been sick since 2000. He is now 64, so he was 57 when all of this started. Basically our marriage has been pretty much me just attending to his needs since we were married in June of 2000 right before he got sick. It’s been so hard to watch him…
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sleep patterns off
DH has been sleeping off and on most of the day. When I put him to bed around 10:30 p.m. he gets up a few times during the night wanting to make coffee since he thinks it is morning. In addition to this he has explosive diarrhea from Crohn's disease ( or maybe because he is at stage 6.5 on the FAST scale) I just recently…
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M1, Thinking of You
Hello M; I have been thinking of you and wondering how you are doing and how things are going; it seems time has flown so fast and yet seems frozen in some ways. Hope you are well, do let us know how it is going. J.
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Giving back
Now it seems as though I'll have some free time, and I'd like to give back to the dementia community. I'm not sure if it's too early to consider this, or even if I'd be able to do it. But I was thinking about volunteering to give local caregivers a little free time from caregiving so they could run errands or just maybe…