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Considering starting Memory Care
I am considering moving my DW to memory care, and I am asking for feedback. I am 71 and my wife is 72. She retired in 2017 and I retired in 2020. There were some memory issues apparent in 2019, but with hindsight, I can now see that there were cognitive issues earlier. She was formally diagnosed with MCI in early 2021, and…
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salad dressing
File this under "amusing" or whatever.... No deep message here. DW and I eat dinner (I prepare) around the same time every night. We have a salad, but each of us prefers a different salad dressing. Almost every night she asks me to pass my bottle to her, and she puts the bottles side by side. Scientist that she was, she…
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Still alert but falls frequently
My spouse of 69 has moderately advanced Alzheimer’s and although forgetful is still able to function in daily activities. However, he has severe balance problems and falls unpredictably, even with a walker. He is bruised and sore from the falls. Our house is not well set up for a wheelchair. He gets annoyed when I try to…
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NEW TO FORUM
My first time using the forum and MDW has Dementia which has been a real trying experience and doctors say it only gets worse. Have been reading what other care takers of their loved ones go through and wonder if anyone has had their loved one accuse you of stealing their money, moving their things around, think I do not…
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delusions
Hello. I don't post very often, but have been reading posts more and more. Today, we went to the grocery store. Everything was fine until I had to go to the bathroom. We wheeled the cart to the entrance to the bathroom. I told my husband to stay there with the cart, which he did. When I came out 3 or 4 minutes later, he…
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I feel so beat up and confused
How do you deal with ongoing anger and rage coming from your loved one? Is this a symptom that I need to learn to cope with more effectively? When are delusions something to be put up with as opposed to treated because it is part of the disease? We sold our home 2-3 yrs ago. DH misses our former home. He is frequently…
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60 Minutes show on Alzheimers Treatment
Neurosurgeon Dr. Ali Rezai is using focused ultrasound to slow Alzheimer's progression. The show was on just recently and can be seen on youtube. Just search for Neurosurgeon pioneers Alzheimer's. My husband passed a year ago but it warms my heart that there might be a breakthrough that could make a difference for so many…
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Last Friday my world went sideways
Last Friday, my youngest son and his daughter left our house about 8 AM to go back to Indiana. They had been here for a week helping me because I had surgery on my arm on January 12. At 9 AM. My husband got up and got dressed. He came downstairs and ate breakfast. Then he sat in his recliner and said he wanted to rest. At…
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Major Life Changes
I haven't been on this message board for awhile because we have had soooo much going on lately. DH has been in a steady decline in his Alzheimer's status this year which has required some major life changes for us. I had been overwhelmed with stress in balancing my job, managing home maintenance/repairs, and DH, so the…
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Feeling lost
I’m new here. My wife is at the early stages, she is 67 and I am 60. I still have to work so our lives have a lot of moving pieces. Slowly I have been watching my wife deteriorate. The past 6 months it seems like even the easier tasks are getting harder for her & take her a lot more time. It’s like her problem solving…
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Testing during early stages
I am wondering about testing to monitor progression during the early stages. DH is 60. Still working and has diagnosis of MCI. We have gone through all the tests. MRI, spinal tap, neuropsychological testing, countless blood tests. We are not sure if he has Alzheimer’s or FTD as he is presenting as atypical for both.…
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Thinking about meds….
While my husband was in the ER there was a day where he did not get his morning meds until 1:30. He was bright, alert, lucid, calm until the late meds kicked in then his nasty side returned. Many of you have been into this journey longer than I have so you probably know. I need to keep in mind that some symptoms may be…
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Thanks for Elder Care Lawyer help
I took the advice of my financial adviser on this elder care lawyer. But I will contact a CELA. I guess I’ll just pick someone under Nelf(thanks @M1 ) I had an eye infection and was sitting in my car taking notes when he called so maybe I didn’t every word right. But basically, it would be 2000.00 for documents only. I do…
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My turn in hospital
Unable to raise blood sugar when it got low. Came in Thursday to ER, and released Friday. Back in Friday with same issue. Released Sunday morning. 6 hours later, back in and admitted again. Just hoping they find an answer to the problem. Really hard for me to type, so I won't be posting much at all. Waiting for…
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Good days / no so good days
My DH is somewhere in the middle of dementia ?? We shared a couple of peaceful days and today the flip side. I now know to tread lightly by not discussing anything requiring a decision from him on these days, even so, the roller coaster is challenging. I'm new to this discussion forum and thank you all for being here.
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Sad and just need to talk with folks who understand
Our dear neighbor and friend died this morning. Hearing of her death made me so sad that DH asked what was wrong and I told him. But throughout the day he kept asking me "what's going on next door". He can't recall what happened but does have a glimmer that there is something not right. I am usually used to his repeated…
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Touching base
It’s been several months since my last post, altho I’ve been reading regularly. I’ve spent those months getting my legal ducks in a row and just generally taking charge. My DH no longer drives and has (reluctantly) surrendered his license. We agreed to turn our 2nd vehicle over to our youngest, who has moved in with us for…
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Too much drama
My DH has vascular dementia. He will "lock on" to something that bothers him and shake it to death like a dog with a toy. That is, he won't let it go. Today we had a blizzard. He can't shovel/snow blow because of a heart condition. He wants me to find someone to do this. I did find a service that has been quite good. But…
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Our Journey is Over
My husband passed 1/5/2024. I would like to remember him as the handsome, charming man I met 5 years ago and maybe that will come with time. This horrible disease takes everything. Surprisingly it wasn't ALZ but Stage 4 metastatic lung cancer, very aggressive small cell. We had no idea he had it. The doctors said the…
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Lethargic and a bit bitter....
I'm here, on Tuesday afternoon, and there's a howling wind outside and it's freezing cold. This may be contributing to the lethargy I'm experiencing. Last week, we met with the doc to discuss the results of DH's PETScan. It was inconclusive, noting mild diminished activity without a specific dementia pattern. DH has…
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I’m Sorry
I want to apologize to all of you lovely people here on this site that gave me such good advice,but you absolutely scared the living crap out of me. Each time I would read the remarks I would sink deeper and deeper into uncertainty. I am slowly trying to “put my big girl pants on” and also I’m trying not to be the frog in…
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Is it too soon for MC
I'm in over my head. My husband has beginnings of alzheimers, not sure what stage... no one has told me. But since his diagnosis he's had a seizure and mini stroke and his physical health has deteriorated drastically. I have to answer the same question multiple times each day, he mostly only sleeps but when he isn't…
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Severe Agitation - Seeking guidance on what works
Just reaching out to this community which has become a tremendous blessing and lifeline as I navigate the unknown territory of dementia as caregiver to my HWD. He is 76 and was diagnosed 11 yrs ago. Progression was slow until he had back surgery 2 yrs ago and was under anesthesia for 5 hrs. He has never been the same…
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Surgery tomorrow...I hope
I am scheduled to have surgery tomorrow morning on my right wrist and elbow. I have arranged for someone to be with DH while I am at the Surgery Center and for one of my sons to be here through the weekend. Another son and granddaughter will be here from Indiana Sunday night to spend the week. At least that's the plan. We…
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M1 and Jo
M1, I think about you quite often, and I'm wondering about the latest concerning your recent physical problems. Jo is another, and I don't think she has posted in some time because I've read several posts, but I don't see anything from her. Does anyone know what's going on with her? Good thoughts and prayers for both.
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Ukraine
Can you imagine how incredibly hard it would be to live with a PWD in a country going thru an invasion? It would be so hard to watch them and try to explain what is going on and we won’t even think about incontinence. Thruout it all them see so stoic and gracious and patient.
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Memory care- when
I’m interested in what criteria you have used to determine that it is time for memory care placement? My original plan was to keep him to the end if possible. But know I just don’t know. I don’t know how long I can deal with walking on eggshells, the agitation, verbal abuse when I try to keep him out of trouble, driving…
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Recognizing skill losses
My husband has been a master craftsman and woodworker for decades. These last few months he’s lost a great deal of his skills. Today he tried to get the square footage of our kitchen and couldn’t do it. It hit him hard. He’s still able to recognize that he can’t do something any longer. It’s so emasculating for him. I hate…
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Working and caring for spouse with AD
Last February, I abruptly had to leave my job to care full Time for DH. I thought it would be six months to get him through cancer treatment and then place in memory care. Almost a year later, still caring for him full time at home but am trying to find a part time position. We do not have children yo help us out. Any…
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Hallucinations
I am caregiver for my husband, second time for me, late husband died from ALZ in 2000. My husband has notions that I am having affairs with different men, I am not, and he sees one on our church website services. I have this sorta under control but he think that just because I don't want to have sexual relations every…