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Leaving my husband with dementia for the weekend.
Hello everyone I am leaving tomorrow. To work my Nanny gig. The neighbors and our son. Are checking on my DH. I really get very anxious about leaving him. Feel guilty too. Does anyone have suggestions that could help. Myself and my DH be less anxious while I am gone.
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Rapid Decline or Delirium
My wife was diagnosed with Alzheimer 6/7 years ago in her early 60’s. She was doing ok with typical symptoms like forgetting things or mixing things up. However, two months ago, she starts mumbling and talking to herself quietly and not responding to our conversation much. We went to see our family doctor and did blood and…
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3 years ago to present day
So much has changed and so much remains the same. I remember 3, possibly even 2 years ago (all the years just blur into one) I could leave my DW at home for a few hours while I worked, played golf, did photo jobs, went to the store, etc. She had lost the ability to use a phone by then but I could still talk to her and…
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New caregiver group reminder
Just a reminder that I started a group to capture the information regularly shared with new caregivers. I added some sites and documents that are often shared (Tam Cummings Handouts, for example) and started a few discussion threads where I thought we could add useful member posts so they're easier to find later. This site…
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Clean house!
I know you will understand. Last night was a tough one. My DH was trying to clean his dentures. He shook them and they flew out of his hand into the tub and cracked a tooth off. I am loosing my mind! At 3am I was thinking, and googled chipped tooth on dentures. Found you can re-glue it with a kit. 4am I put on gloves and…
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Need to vent
we are early in this journey. We are both young and still working. DH is 60 and works as a salesman for building materials. He vents about his job every day and always has. His diagnosis a year ago was MCI and I notice issues with his memory and word finding every day at home. I don’t know how it is possible that it is not…
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Done
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Confused about Seroquel!
My DH (6 years ALZ) has been on Seroquel for almost a week for some agitation, delusions, hallucinations. Sometimes after I give him the 25mg pill, he gets agitated. It might take 30 to a hour for him to chill out. He is on 25mg twice a day. His first is 12:30pm because usually he is good in the mornings & sleeps sometimes…
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Stage 7 - Difficulty Swallowing & Diet Modifications
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Neurologist vs psychologist and others
Im interested in your experiences dealing with neurologist vs psychiatrists or both for dementia. I’m am not at all impressed with husbands neurologist. She hasn’t done a thing for him in a few years outside of occasional follow up visits that basically accomplish nothing. However his psychiatrist has been much more…
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Happy? New Year
It's that time of year again when everyone you see wishes you a Happy New Year. Maybe I'm just old and jaded but I see nothing happy about the coming year. I started keeping a journal last Jan. and looking back reading my past journal posts and seeing his decline over the past year just makes me sad. So I'm sure the coming…
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Safety when cooking
My 76 yr. old DH is becoming more and more forgetful. He has several of the symptoms of cognitive impairment. He hasn't been tested or diagnosed yet but agreed to have me attend his next medical appt. in February. I've told him I'm noticing more instances of forgetfulness, which he'll accept for the moment, but doesn't…
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Alprazolam
Need some thoughts and input. My DH’s psychiatrist prescribed alprazolam. Everything I’ve read recently indicates that it should never be used for dementia as it can make symptoms worse. His primary care and neurologist have had no concerns about it. It has always worked real well for him with a nice calming affect.…
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The struggle with acceptance and clarity about dementia's effects on our lives
What do you think it's about - what makes it feel hard even while in the early phases of dementia when your spouse/partner can still take care of their ADLs and still communicate somewhat? I need help finding words to describe or explain - what is this nebulous sense of enormous change in our lives? It feels seismic even…
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PWD perception of family
During the past few months my DH has started being really critical and nasty talking about some members of my family. My dad is 99 and I do try to give him 3-4 hours of my time once a week. I also call him once a day. DH doesn’t understand why I have to give him so much of my time and seems to really resent it. He also at…
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For each of you
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Are you Serious?
Hi Kindred Caregivers, I just called a local senior living facility to inquire about respite care. After all, it is a new year and it would be nice to consider taking a break from caregiving, use some vacation time from work, and actually just go somewhere to unwind. The facility I called is close to home, and here in the…
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How Busy Is Too Busy?
My 64 year old wife is fairly recently diagnosed and we are slowly working on getting in place various things we have to do to cope and keep her healthy and happy. Lots of recommendations for activities: social outings, cognitive games, exercise, etc. Also, getting a respite care provider so that I can get out sometimes…
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A simple but profound thought
I am reading a book "Calm My anxious heart" by Linda Dillow. So far it is great. One statement she made might help all of us: "Two women are looking through prison bars. One sees mud and the other sees stars." I am so struggling to see those stars but I keep trying. Hope this helps someone.
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What to say so I don't trigger worse reaction
My DH and I went home for Christmas for a couple of days to visit my family. Every day before we left he asked multiple times when we were going and I would answer with how many more days before we leave. We flew up there, had a nice Christmas (only a few instances where I had to calm him down in the hotel) and flew home.…
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For wose
I am sorry to see that you have edited out your posts. I hope you did not feel personally attacked, that was no one's intent; I and I am sure others are worried about you and what sounds like a volatile situation. This is such a difficult road under the best of circumstances. Hope you will continue to read and come back.
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Not sure how to handle my situation!
My DH has ALZ 6 years, I think stage 6. Since the end of Nov 2023, he has not been recognizing me all the time, especially late afternoon “sundowning.” He thinks I am someone else and asks what is my name, where do I live, how will I get home, etc. because his wife or mother may not approve of me being there. I feel like…
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Pets and dementia
https://www.goodnewsnetwork.org/owning-pets-helps-stave-off-dementia-for-people-over-50-living-on-their-own/
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What to Make of Improvements to Cognition and Incontinence
Today a dear friend visited DH and confirmed what MCF staff also reported recently, that DH's cognition has improved greatly, almost like talking to a normal person, and no longer needs/wants to wear Depend. His long-term memory is very much in tact while short-term was impressive as well. He even noticed my name on the…
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Getting closer and closer to placement every day.
I've been putting this off for as long as possible thinking I might be able to endure until the end. Maybe once we get past stage 6 things will quiet down. My DW is now dbl incontinent. Then like a switch was turned on she won't go to bed until 1 or 2 in the morning now. I have to get up every hour and make sure she hasn't…
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pwl
Thanks. This is terrible. Most lonely and depressing thing I've ever dealt with. She constantly rants about things that happened 40 and 50 years ago. Same speeches every time. Over and over all day. How do you continue to love someone that hates you so much. The only peace is when one of our sons are here or she is asleep.…
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Well and truly scared
I did not get a good report yesterday, it looks like I might be headed for open heart surgery, possibly even before Christmas. Specifically a pulmonary endarterectomy, which is a relatively rare procedure. Recovery will be similar to coronary artery bypass, no driving for six weeks. That's daunting when i live 13 miles…
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Thank You
I forget to say Thank You to everyone for the support 💙
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My husband cannot sit still
My husband was diagnosed with Alzheimer's a year ago. He is constantly "rearranging" kitchen cabinets, garage shelves, etc. It seems like he cannot sit still and tends to overdo it every day. Suggestions?