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The Mirage of Caregiver Support
This is a follow-up to my article “The Cavalry Is Not Coming.” It is meant to be instructive, without being overly dark and whiney. Eight years into this journey, I am long past the realization that the Cavalry Is Not Coming. I am on my own in the care of my wife with vascular dementia. I have absolutely no expectations…
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What to do when they won't take their meds?
My DH suddenly will not take his meds anymore. He will let me put them in his mouth and then he won't swallow them. He hides them under his tongue, if I look to see if they are gone. What he does is chew the pills up, swish them around in his mouth with water and suddenly spit (literally spew) them all over the place.…
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FTD
Caregiver support
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Hides items or misplaces, things, and then blame someone else
I am sure this is not unusual for many of you. It’s just very difficult when my spouse blames other people for taking the things I know we had. When I try to help him find them, he gets angry or the item can’t be found because I don’t know where it’s gone. And somehow, it ends up being my fault, or he sulks, the rest of…
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Thinks he’s been to the moon
My DH is stage 5. His symptoms have included delusions from the beginning. I’ve posted before asking if others have seen the same in their loved one. Even before memory issues were apparent, he would tell bizarre stories of his experiences, things that could not be reality. The latest is that he went to the moon. He tells…
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Bible Verse to Lift You Up 11/1/23
ALL MY HEART Matthew 22:37 New Living Translation 37 Jesus replied, “‘You must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your mind.’ TODAY’S VITAMIN When we love God with all our heart, soul and mind, it means we put Him first in our lives. Nothing is more important than spending time with Him in…
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Is my POA ok??
my POA has my wife down , this was done pre diagnosis, but says if she can’t or will not or unable my two daughters take overMy question is this ok?
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Overwhelmed
I am 57 year old wife with a 72 year old husband with many health issues. I work full time along with being a full time caregiver. My husband is ESRD on dialysis and until last week I was doing his hemo dialysis at home. I finally took something off my plate but up at 4 now to be at dialysis clinic by 5:45am three days a…
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My anxiety and his sundowning
Any caregivers here with generalized anxiety disorder? How do you handle the agitation and paranoia without setting off your own anxiety? DH is in the hospital and is developing more issues with sundowning. I just got yelled at for 5 minutes on the phone so much so that a nurse came by to ask him if he was OK. He was super…
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How to cope with the diagnosis?
Thank you again for the wisdom. My DW was diagnosed two weeks ago with AD. I suspected it was coming as she had a MOCA two and a half years ago that wasn't good but she didn't do any additional testing at that time. Her symptoms were fairly mild then and still mild today. A few weeks ago she went through a complete…
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A tip for urinary incontinence products
When people are struggling with urinary incontinence, some of them might use a pad inside an incontinence pull up. If you do that, make sure the pad does not have a waterproof barrier, or you may be defeating your desired outcome. It might seem like you are increasing the capacity, but you're not. If you use a pad like…
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Should We Move?
This is my first post. My DH was diagnosed last April with ALZ. We are both retired and in our early seventies. We live an eight hour drive from our daughter and across the country from our son. DH no longer drives because of navigational issues, has short term memory issues, trouble following directions at times but…
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Slowing down and eating less it seems.
Just wondering if this a new corner we are turning. The last few weeks my DW has been eating less and less. Up until a few months ago she was eating at least half of her hamburger, she developed a love for hamburgers, now she eats the fries but barely touches the burger. I think she is tired of them, anyway it seems to…
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Weird night: Pull-up on head, pee on me, "why'd you hit me?"
OK, so technically it is early morning, but when I closed my eyes, it was last night. Forgive the rambling, but you all know there's no one else who could possibly understand what I'm about to tell you. We are sleeping on the couch. Foot to head (sort of). Chux liners on his side of course. Mainly because this helps him…
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Abilify
Hello Everyone, I do not post much BUT I depend on this forum as my support. My husband approaching the severe stage is really struggling right now with delusions and hallucinations. This has been going on quite a while but is happening everyday now and sometimes all day long. Our neurologist told us in April after putting…
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What are expected costs for care?
I’m looking ahead, trying to anticipate what might be the monthly expense when I get in home help for my husband. He’s on Medicare and has the whole package, but I think they only pay once he needs help with daily tasks- is that right? I hope to always keep him at home, but if that isn’t possible what are the likely…
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A chuckle about lack of focus
Dear Friends, I posted a few days ago about my last of focus. Well, here is my latest. My dear friend made a gorgeous unicorn cake for her granddaughter and posted a picture on Facebook. I thought I typed "It is terrific." But no.... my post came out to be "It looks terrible." I truly was mortified. My dear friend, was so…
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Are other caregivers having a difficult time focusing?
Good Morning Forum Friends, My DH was diagnosed 5 years ago with Alz/Dementia and is in stage 5. I am on antidepressants (Wellbutrin) and am the sole caregiver. I am finding that I am constantly thinking of many things at the same time to the point of constant distraction. It is so scary and am wondering if others…
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HBO's The Alzheimer's Project
Does anyone remember The Alzheimer's Project? It was produced by HBO and was available online for a time. There was good information there. Iris
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Some good news to share
I've been working with our CELA on longterm Medicaid. After pulling docs, rearranging things, and managing the "spend down" we finally were approved yesterday. Still work to do. I need to schedule time with the social worker and hire an agency, but we're approved for in home care. I cannot express the relief I feel. Please…
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A Good Thing
Some may remember how upset I’ve been about my how SOs “super close, best family ever” just disappeared from her life when they heard she had dementia. Poof. No contact. I finally talked to my therapist about it. We agreed her family just didn’t have the emotional capacity to deal, so the only real thing I could do to give…
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Hallucinations
My wife who is mild /moderate accuses me of having affairs with other women. Up till now I’ve been ok with dealing with everything. How do I answer or calm this delusion. It really hurts me
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4 years without a working brain
It has been over four years now since DW recognized me or anyone else. Or said a word or responded to a command. She could walk until a year ago. She still eats what you put in her mouth. She likes ice cream. $12,000 a month buys the best of care in the Washington suburbs. I go on cruises and to conferences and vacations…
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Troubles in public places
I am just beginning to wonder if it is time to limit my DH going to public places. In the last few weeks he seems to be getting worse in terms of his behavior when out and about. For instance, he yelled at me in a grocery store because he no longer has a car key and wanted to go wait in the car, despite it having only been…
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An answer for hiya about my DW's forgetting who I was
In another thread 'hiya' asked me to expand on a comment I made. I thought it best to respond in a new post. In that post I noted that earlier in my DW's dementia she began to fail to recognize who exactly I was. Specifically the request was: "Can you explain more about how the forgetting process took place? Stage?…
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How do I handle the passing of my ADLO's sister from the same disease?
My wife's sister, Jennie, lives 2 hours away and has been in a memory care unit for three years. Her husband visited her every day. She has just been put in palliative/hospice care and will pass away soon. My wife Linda has ES, still fully physically functional, can play mahjong and solitaire, but can't remember what took…
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Guidance for Keeping My DH at Home
Good morning my dear fellow travelers, I need your experience and wisdom about the feasibility of caring for my DH at home. I see him declining more each day. My heart wants to keep him home. My biggest concern is if I can physically handle the anticipated mobility challenges (getting up out of a chair, bed, toilet or any…
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DH in hospital again
Just can't catch a break. DH has been admitted to the hospital today, again, due to having cellulitis. Third time in less than 6 months that he has had an infection that required IV antibiotics. The last time they sent him home after less than 12 hours. Tomorrow a geriatric care manager is doing an emergency assessment on…
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Thinks Parents are still alive and wants to go home
My DH of 53 years thinks his parents are still alive, they passed over 20 years ago. He often asks where his Mom or Dad went, telling me they were just here. The evenings are the worst as he insists on going home to his Mom. I've come up with several stalls, like they have Covid and are isolating, or they have out of town…
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Completely confused after a hospital stay
My DW, stage 3 or maybe early stage 4, was in the hospital for DVT (blood clot in her arm which was caught just in time). She went in last Monday and I brought her home last night (Thursday). When we got home she was completely confused as to which day she entered the hospital and how long she was there. She was given a…