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Disillusioned with Geri-psych unit
My DH will be released from a Geri-psych unit soon. I placed him there because he’s had four aggressive incidents at his memory care in the last few months. His Seroquel was increased at the unit, but no other med changes were tried. The unit social worker told me the unit is only for acute care, and that any other med…
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Resentful/Jealous of Friendships
How do you get past feeling guilty about having friends and a social life when caregiving for someone with dementia? My mom is 90 and is in the moderate stage. She doesn't have many friends; her two best friends live out of state. She has never understood the work it takes to make/maintain friendships. She resents that I…
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I have breast cancer… now what?
I’m at the very start of testing and diagnosis process. So far i know it will be at least a stage 2 involving lumpectomy, lymph node biopsy, radiation, and some form of drug therapy. Any one been through this with a very need clingy DH at Stage 4 at least who won’t stay with anyone? He knows but not sure he totally “gets…
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Wits end he won’t get ready
hubby gets up and has become a couch potato. Up at 11. It’s 1 pm and still not moving. I Said it’s showertime. Tells me 15 minutes. Still nothing. He did this Sunday when we had to be at a bbq. Waits for last moments to get ready. And I always tell him earlier than it is. Today another bbq leaving 5:30 pm. I told him 5.…
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My SIL wants me to care for her too?
My DH is definitely in stage 4 and dipping his toe in a couple stage 5 behaviors on occasions. My health is not the best, I have complications from Scleroderma an incurable and possibly fatal autoimmune disease. My DH sister that is an 80 yo widow is beginning to ask me to help her. I’m 65 and my DH is 75. Im already…
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Any suggestions?
Okay, need some help here and I know this is the only group that may have some ideas and not judge. My DH has been sundowning fierce! I have locks and alarms on the doors so he can't get outside. I usually get up and guide him to the bathroom then tell him the time and guide him back to bed. He becomes resistant so I let…
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What is normal progression?
I’m confused about something. Maybe a dumb question. I’m not sure what I should perceive as further progression/decline that I should just accept vs. symptoms that require further managing. Here is the scenario. DH’s behavior has been manageable and I can usually redirect him when he starts to get upset about something. We…
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Dad refuses to move from AL to EC
Hello, my dad has Alzheimer’s/Dementia and has been in assisted living a year. He needs more care for his diabetes and heart condition and we need to move him to Enhanced Care. He is not ready yet for Memory Care. I would put his current stage as “middle”. He absolutely refuses to make the move from one side of the…
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Hiring through Care.com
Hello - we are looking to hire someone in the immediate term through care.com until we can get mom's long-term plans settled. For those who use or have used care.com: What questions did you ask when interviewing candidates? What red flags should I be on the lookout for with candidates? Any watch-outs to be aware of when…
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Incontinence Venting
Here's the thing. An incident of urinary incontinence isn't a huge deal. I can handle the diapers and cleanup. Most days. Last night and this morning were rough though. At his aide's suggestion, I brought in the briefs with tabs (we had been using pull ups). She has no problem using them (quick stand-up change, doesn't…
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I am a very lucky man
We have one daughter who has been a great help with her mother (my wife). She has been sick with coronavirus, as has her husband. So we haven't seen her for a while. Another daughter, a good cook, brought us stuffed cabbage, potatoes, green beans, and peach pie today. She said she would like to make dinner for us every…
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New to alz. just lost a close family member last week; if someone can help with a few questions
Hello, I'm new to the alz.connected I've been in contact with the Alzheimer's Association for 3 years now since I found out our now late cousin had a mild case of dementia. He passed away just a little over a week ago and I took off last Monday for his wake and his funeral was on Tuesday & I took off on Thursday to myself.…
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Seeing Mom again by myself
Hello, so this is the second week that I have seen my mom alone again. It was tough before I saw her today, so I took some CBD oil. I don't know if it helped. Nevertheless, I remembered what a couple of members said to me last week. I cannot control if my Mother passes away or not. So now I focus on the things I can…
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From the NYT: Alzheimer's Takes a Financial Toll Before Diagnosis
https://www.nytimes.com/2024/05/31/business/economy/alzheimers-disease-personal-finance.html?unlocked_article_code=1.wE0.0r2q.SLXBA3o0-_FV&smid=url-share Preaching to the choir. HB This is a gifted link.
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Are these common signs your LO has to move from AL to MC?
I just moved both parents to Assisted Living last month. The Director of Nursing called today and told me that both have declined rapidly since her initial assessment when they moved in and that both should move the Memory Care section. First, how likely do you think it is that both parents declined so rapidly in six…
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I guess he told me!
Whenever the caregiver or I look the other way, DH now spends his day grabbing anything in reach and putting it in his mouth. Chewing off a piece if possible, and gnawing on it forever, it seems. This requires constant vigilance and redirection.😟It is impossible to put EVERYTHING up. CD case, towel hanging on the rack…
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What can you really do for someone long distance?
My brother lives a six hour drive from me. He lives alone and has no family in the city where he lives. I am his closest relative. He has had short term memory problems since he had radiation therapy for oral cancer in 2014. According to his daughter, who lives in Florida, his memory is getting worse. He won't talk to a…
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The Cavalry Is Not Coming (reposted for new platform)
As promised, I have re-posted this to the new platform so folks could find it. The Cavalry Is Not Coming April 1, 2023 marked seven and a half years since my wife’s dementia became obvious, and that I knew for certain that this journey would begin. I had sensed something was “a bit off” before then, but that date stands…
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Help and Advice Needed
Hello all I am new to this forum and could use some advice. I have been taking care of my mother who is 85 with moderate stage dementia for a year and half now. I have noticed over the past month her behavior has changed quite a bit. Recently I've noticed she has become more aggressive with my Father and I. She has had…
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Is Remission Possible in Lewy Body Dementia?
It's been over 6 months since Depakote was added to DH's meds. He continues to do extremely well, as if the disease never happened—a complete turnaround from the aggressive, combative and deranged psychopath he displayed last October (not caused by UTI infection). If you didn't know it, he appears/behaves as normal as can…
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MC hookups
At times when I visit my DW in MC she is sitting with and holding hands with another resident. The male resident said to me that she, my DW, was his girlfriend and that she was beautiful. I think it's innocent enough and I don't think he would touch her inappropriately at least I hope not. I'm ok with them finding comfort…
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Another MC Question
After a year in her second facility, my partner is both more settled and more progressed in her disease. She is having more sensory processing issues—sounds and sights don't make a lot of sense to her and she misinterprets. A lifelong introvert, she is also in the noisiest part of the complex—a room right outside the…
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Stuck with what to do
This is my first post ever, on any forum whatsoever! The process of trying to care for and protect my parents (one with Alz and the other with vascular dementia- both in total denial) has opened me up to all kinds of new and unpleasant experiences. At least this one feels positive. I don’t know where to go from here- my…
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Literally the Last Thing I Needed
Hi everybody, hope you’re all doing well. Bit of backstory to this predicament; my mom (60 diagnosed with ALZ) was a single parent to me (25) and my younger sibling (20). My sibling and I have separate fathers, mine passed when I was 7 and theirs is alive but not active in our lives. He was an abusive man to us and my…
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I’m going nuts
Do any members experience wild swings in day to day health and cognition of their LOs? One day, MIL acts like she’s about to die. She’s sleeping 18 hours, largely incoherent, confused as to day, time, etc, not eating much and seems to be in pain. Then the next day, she wakes up and she’s almost normal. Alert, good…
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Transitioning?
My mom will soon be 98. She's been in memory care for three years. For the last 1.5 years she's been in Stage 7 of Alzheimer's. She's been on hospice for 2 years now. About 1.5 years ago hospice told me she was actively dying and had only days to live. She was in bed on oxygen for about 3 weeks, struggling to breath,…
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Thoughts
I went to every doc appt. Kept telling them about the continued memory loss, personality changes. He is freezing all the time and continues to loose weight. He scored a 10/30 on his SLUMS. I felt like I was banging my head on a brick wall…like no one was listening. I'm witnessing this slow, agonizing decline that I can't…
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Preparing for in home care
Yesterday I had a semi-productive meeting with a VA social worker. We have been offered up to 30 days of care in our home, the care will only be for 6 hours a day. In addition, they have one single respite bed (for hundreds or more vets) at their facility that is available for up to 14 days but those hours will be deducted…
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Placement Decision
At some point I will have to decide about placing my wife in a memory care facility. This will be difficult. I know many of you have already been through this. I would be interested in any information you would be willing to share on how and why you decided on placement.
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new to this group...
Hi, I am new to this group. I first noticed something was off with my DW in early 2019. After lots of reluctance and denial, we got a EO ALZ diagnosis in late 2021. Right now, I am 57 she is 59. I would estimate we are in the middle of stage 5. Fortunately my DW mostly remains pleasant and cooperative throughout. She did…