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A Circle of Care
My wife of 57 years passed away three months ago after several years of progressing through the Alzheimer's disease. I thank the members of this website for providing invaluable support and ideas on how to cope. I know what many of you are feeling. Early on I started developing what I called a Circle of Care—people that I…
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When he can't stand up anymore
My dad is 81 with dementia and heart failure. He is in hospice at home. My mom (81) and myself ( I'm 50 and have severe treatment resistant depression and physical disabilities) care for him. Twice a week a nurse comes to check on him for 15 min. He is no longer able to walk; he can stand briefly with a walker so we can…
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If I had only known
If I had only known when we went to bed on January 18th that that was the last night we would ever sleep in the same bed, I would have cuddled up as close to him as I could and held him close. Instead, I slept on my side of the bed and he slept on his. Oh we said , "I love you" like always but if I had known, I would have…
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Just need to talk to my friends (197)
It's been a hot, humid day in Oklahoma. We reached about 97 with heat index of 100 with more hot days to fo!low. Summer in Oklahoma is not always pleasant because of the humifity. I know the temperatures were higher when I was growing up but humidity was lower. They built Lake Eufaula which raised it and now this area is…
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Emotional Intelligence and One Other "Weird" Quirk
I'll be completely calm and basically lethargic (since I'm always exhausted), and my mom with MD will suddenly snap at me about how "wound up" and nervous I am and that I'm making her crazy. She won't let it go. By then, I usually AM wound up and nervous! I know that it's important for her sake that I don't get overly…
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T-PAU217
just wondering if your LO had this blood test as part of the AD diagnosis process.
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Rough Night
Thursday night turned from a peaceful evening into a crisis when the MC called and said DH was banging on the doors with his fists, yelling, and hitting the doors with his walker trying to exit the unit. They said he was going to hurt someone so they were sending him to the ER. That was a little after 6:00 PM. I had just…
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Too good to be true
So finally got mom moved into ALF. The move day was brutal, very emotional. But she adapted so easily. Made friends, was never in her Apt. Out at dominos, bingo, happy hour the movies... talked to anyone who would listen how she loves it. Too busy to call me ( thank you) she is thriving. She got sick (bad cold) a few days…
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Tough times
So, to add to all that is going on in our lives, our 12 year old dog has been diagnosed with terminal cancer. He has just a couple of days to live. DH, who has already had such a hard time is asking such weird questions. Where are the other adults at dinner (it's only the two of us)? Where are the other dogs (we only have…
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In home help
Tomorrow I will be talking with an agency that will provide in home help for my DH so I can do so many needed things that I have been putting on hold since his diagnosis in January. I have been utilizing family and friends to spend time with him when i have appts or do something socially, but some of his needs are more…
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Advance Directive for Dementia
I saw some brief mention in this forum of an Advance Directive for Dementia but not a detailed discussion on how frequently people use it. It is used as a supplement to a standard advance directive. It is not legally binding, and is also a very uncomfortable thing to perform (e.g. do not prolong life), so I have a feeling…
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My LO and the hired caregiver issues
I am the significant other/POA and official caregiver for my LO. We have been together for 39 years but he now has mid stage dementia. I hired a caregiver to help me at home, 3 times a week for 4 hours. The caregiver helps with toileting, bathing and household chores. The caregiver will keep him company so I can go out to…
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Caring for parent u have health issues
I've been living with Lupus about 14 years Ma has Altimers and Dementia past maybe 5, I had no help or resources and my health was taking a toll for the worst she has other issues health I was getting her to her appointment and skipping mine, first she stopped eating abs and taking her meds, She needed 24 hour care I can…
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Straw that broke this camel’s back!
I came home today and found my BF (with MCI) had done some laundry. 7 items on a medium load. He does this frequently. A trivial thing in the world of dementia. Many caregivers would envy a situation like that. I’m ashamed to say I lost it. I told him he has to move back to his condo. He is able to do all of his daily…
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Rapid onset Alzheimer’s
I’ve only heard of Rapid Onset Alzheimer’s once. Can anyone tell me if there are guidelines or timelines it follows. My DH was diagnosed two years ago and seems to constantly be on a downward slope. I keep thinking there will be a plateau but he hasn’t found one yet.
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New and dealing with early onset
I have been noticing small struggles over the past few years and definitely increase in anxiety as well. Early Onset is genetic in his family so we both knew he had a 50/50 chance. We talked about it and decided since we weren’t having children (married in our 40’s), we decided not to have him tested because what would we…
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Missing the toilet
Does any know of any devices/aids to help getting my dad to aim his pee at the toilet. My dad is completely missing the toilet. I’ve tried to work with him on sitting down to pee, but he does not remember to do it. I am having to clean the floor in three different bathrooms throughout the day.
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Incontinence issues
My DH has had incontinence issues in the last couple of months. He soiled his pants twice. Today he was outside working in the yard and suddenly said, “I pooped”. I was shocked. Both of the other times we were walking out in the woods and he couldn’t make it home but he told me he had to go. This time he didn’t even…
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Update on my brother
I am visiting with him now. He lives in Colorado Springs and I live in Albuquerque. I had previously called his doctor's office to rat him out on his memory loss. Today, my brother told me that he was referred to a local clinic and the appointment is in July. Yay! There is a wrinkle, naturally. He is a big Colorado Rockies…
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New behaviors from mom
Hi all I am new here. I live 5 hours away from my mom. She recently threw away her wedding rings including her beautiful 50 year wedding anniversary diamond rings my dad gave her. He passed away 12 years ago. She said since he won't come home and doesn't care about her she doesn't care either....the entire family is…
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Saw Mom Today
Today was not a good day for Mom, she was irritable and just wanted to sleep. After 7 years of seeing this desiese debilitate my Mom. She is having much more bad days than good. All I can do is pray for her to be comfortable and all the people who work at the NH to do the best they can to accommodate my mom. 🙏
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ALFs and health insurance
I finally am moving my mom into an ALF in a couple weeks. I knew I would have to change her physician simply because of location but wasn’t expecting issue with prescriptions. The ALF has an in house pharmacy they work with and if we don’t use them it’ll be additional charge to get her prescriptions filled elsewhere. I…
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Overwhelming, gripping fear
I don't understand why I always feel in the grip of overwhelming, tenacious fear whenever my mom is delusional. I hate it. I wish I could just accept it and not be so triggered, but instead, I feel my heart drop into my stomach when she thinks my dad is on my way home (he died 17 years ago) and tries to get me to leave or…
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My first visit to Mom in Memory care
We made the difficult decision last week to move my mom from AL to Memory care. It was a emotional decision for me and hard on her. At the advice of the care facility, I have not visited her all week. I plan to go visit her tomorrow for the fist time since the move. I am very nervous. I have talked to her on the phone and…
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Geriatric appointment concern
My DH PCP sent a referral for a geriatric appointment after I discussed my concerns about my DH mild cognitive impairment and the care we are not getting from the neurologist. My DH is not having any specific issues now except short term memory. His neurologist previously said he will not be able to help with any psychotic…
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Should he know he has Alzheimers?
My husband was in the doctor's office when we received the diagnosis over a year ago. Now he doesn't seem to remember that he has it. He's gone through several tests and it was confirmed. Last week he mentioned that Alzheimers must have skipped him (his mother, brother, aunt, and cousin had it). Should he be told again…
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Is it Anosognosia, Denial or just being a big Ole B?
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How do you do this?
For those if you that are more successful at this than me, please fill me in on your secret. I feel like I’m suffocating. He follows me everywhere, keeps asking if I still love him, asks a thousand questions that don’t make sense. Argues with me about how to care for dogs, horses. I know it’s the disease but that doesn’t…
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Scared and tired
Hi all. I'm new here. Just a quick background… I was the primary caregiver for my exes mom for 6 years. I loved her dearly and she did not have dementia, but when she passed, I found there was nothing left of her son and my relationship. I moved away and married a wonderful man. Now, his mother has been diagnosed with…