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Mom new to nursing home
Hello, I’m new here. My mom, who is about to turn 85, was just recently moved into nursing home as a short-term rehab patient but will transition to long term due to dementia. I’m looking for guidance how to speak to her as she keeps asking when is she going home. She has an iPad to communicate and I am getting upsetting…
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Bed wetting
I’m new to the group and appreciate any help. My husband is in mid to late dementia. He now wears depends day and night, but frequently goes to the toilet during the day to use it. Mostly successfully. At night he has been waking up at 2 or 3am with his pjs wet in back. I use a pad over the sheet and that is frequently wet…
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Update on MC placement
I have posted before on my placement of my dear sweet Tommy in memory care. It’s been 10 days now and according to the director there he is doing well. He says he has acclimated well and participates in all activities and lives to help with the others residents. He has not mentioned me in a week now. The doctor had told me…
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When is it time for MC?
I know this question always comes up, but I need some help thinking through this for my mom and would greatly appreciate input from those who have had to make this decision before me! About my mom: she was diagnosed last summer and still lives alone. Based on her last exam, mom's neurologist says she is still early stage,…
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New here
I'm brand new to this whole disease. My mom is 87 and having horrible hallucinations and delusions. I want to know what kind of doctor to take her to. The general physician knows but hasn't really been much help. Do I need a neurologist, a psychiatrist, or what? I'm so nervous about this that I'm losing sleep .I want my…
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Feels like a series of endings and cannot find a good place anymore
I am sure there are several posts on this, but I feel like there is no end to what seems to be a constant unravelling of my parent's condition straight into the abyss. For those who are further up the road than me, did your life ever get back to anything resembling "normal"? I feel like a part of me, my enthusiasm and…
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spouse aggression
A year and a half ago my DH was diagnosed with MCI (vascular), Two weeks ago my DH started screaming at me saying he didn't want to live here anymore, I didn't care about him. He screamed he was looking at NH, Maine, WY, SC, etc. I thought he was just blowing off steam but then I found detailed "to do" lists of selling the…
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First-Time Poster Requesting Support
Hello to you all. This is my first time to post in the forum. I have been reading a few posts that may help me with my father. At his most-recent visit with his neurologist, we were told he was at stage 6B of Alzheimer's. We have been living with what we were told was dementia for several years, and the Alzheimer's…
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Repetitive questions - early stages of dementia
Hi all, I’m new here. My MIL moved in with my husband, myself and our 5 children back in January. She was living in her van after selling her home. She has 2 other children that were aware of the living situation and lived close by but refused to help. We came from 3 hours away to get her and bring her back to live with…
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Questions about end of life
Hey everybody. This is my first post. I’m curious to get an idea if my mom’s sudden crying, lack of communication ability, not being able to walk, is truly a sign of the beginning of End of Life. She still eats well, has no ailments(besides the obvious), and the memory care unit is saying she’s sleeping well. Any advice or…
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Where do We Go From Here
I live in the east & my sister in the southwest. Our mother, 79, lives alone in the midwest. In May, she was diagnosed with Alzheimer's. The plan was to move her to my sister's place this fall; everyone agreed it was the best place for her to go. In June, my mother started changing for the worst. First, she unpacked…
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Dad with UTI
Yesterday, my mom called me and told me dad got nauseous and threw up shortly after breakfast. He fell and couldn't get off the floor. My mom called hospice and they called 911 to just pick him off the floor and onto his bed. When I came over, my dad was on the floor again next to his bed. He tried to get out of bed to his…
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My husband’s suffering is over
my husband Lonny is now guarding the Gates of Heaven. He served in the Marine Corps in Vietnam. He passed peacefully today. My heart is breaking but I’m thankful he’s no longer suffering. See you later LonHo!
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NEED HELP
So........ I am concerned about the way my patient is being treated/punished/redirected (what ever you want to call it). She is 93 years old and has been diagnosed with Alzheimers approx. 4 years ago. I will jump right to the concerns I am having....... She is sometimes a bit bossy, rude, ungrateful....etc. So when she is…
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Update on long distance mother
I posted once earlier this year and have struggled ever since. This year has been very strained with her continuing to be angry and blaming that we have taken everything from her. She continues to hang up on me if I call. My 89 yo mother was dx 11/2 years ago we think she progressed to moderate stage but hasn’t been back…
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Reposting for new member yummiep
Hi all, I am new here but I also have similar situation. I actually am looking for adivce. My parents are in their 90s, and both have dementia. Mom has hernia and colon cancer. They too, pretend that everything is okay; and most of the time I found out through the helper whom my dad dislike. He claims she steals all the…
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Medication at assisted living
Mom was prescribed a cream for eczema to be given to her twice a day. Mom only uses it when she thinks she needs it. Staff tells me she is refusing it. When I talked with mom about this and tell her the doctor wants her to use this she tells me no one told me that. AL tells me they can’t force her to use it or take any…
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The End of Alzheimer's
Hello, i'm new here. Months ago, my husband asked if i'd research Alzheimer's for him. He's noticing some congnitive decline. i resisted but then this book came to me: "The End of Alzheimer's" by Dr. Dale E. Bredesen. i read it and am 1/2 through his next book: "The End of Alzheimer's Program". i'm wondered if anyone here…
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Aphasia
Hi all, Though I had seen some things early that concerned me about my DWs brain health, the thing that really stood out about her cognitive decline was a moment when she went from being able to speak, to suddenly unable to find words. She may have had slight word-finding issues earlier, but they all seemed like early…
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How can we talk to my dad and help him understand he needs help - we're just starting this journey
My mom is now starting to show show signs of dementia after several years of memory loss and early stages of Alzheimer's. Which we knew was coming, but my brother and and I are recently learning more finally getting permission to access medical records. After talking to my mom's dr. I also learned that he has been…
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Medicaid
Does anyone know about Medicaid in Ohio My dh had Medicare and insurance. We have only been married 5 years. I had the house before we were married. Will they use this as his income? Yes I know I should speak to eldercare lawyer but they are so expensive.
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Driving while impaired
There are two ladies in my support group who, being unwilling to confront the issue, still let their husbands drive. At the last meeting, they both admitted that they were starting to look into memory care facilities. They do know that their husbands won't be able to drive once they're admitted, right? It's actually…
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what is my aim? I still feel like I'm missing something
Hello dear community, I did take a break from visiting Dad. Mainly because it seemed to be upsetting for him. I've applied your advice (shorter visits, take someone with me, bring a treat to eat, stay in common area spaces) and it helped a lot. I do not go as often and I apply the wise advice given here when I do go. I…
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ideal living situations?
DW was diagnosed with MCI two years ago, she is still pretty independent, driving well, etc. But that is changing as may be expected. We are both 78, in reasonably good health and pretty active for our age. One area of concern regards our future living situation. We live independently in our home of 50 years. I can see…
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Resident is angry only at loved ones
I attend a family support group at a local dementia home (my Mom lived there for a year before she died.) A daughter and father have moved their mother/wife into a MC facility recently. She is angry at them & won't talk to them when they try to chat. The resident may be doing something enjoyable with staff, but when she…
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book recommendation
Currently reading Loving Someone Who Has Dementia, by Pauline Boss. I recommend it highly. It reiterates much of what she wrote in Ambiguous Loss and has a lot of excellent advice for caregivers
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Recent passings
Wally Amos, of Famous Amos Cookies fame, passed from complications due to dementia at age 88. Gena Rowlands, award winning actress, passed from Alzheimer's Disease at age 94.
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Hitting and imaginary person
My bf 45 eoa has been hitting, punching, squeezing his hand so hard that he is bruised and swollen sometimes. He ia convinced that it is someone else. He said "this is me, mine" about his right hand. "Thats hlm, that's not mine" about his left hand. This "person" takes his things and hides them. He has been on olanzapine…
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Mover closer?
Hi, I may have posted this earlier in a wrong or little visited place so I', posting here too hoping for some advice from those who have experienced this. Short back story, my wife has been in memory care in Fresno Ca. for 2 1/2 years. Her son lives seven miles from where she is and sees her twice a week. She is currently…