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Financial Assistance
Hi! Is there any sort of financial assistance available for parents still living in their house with severe dementia (other than Medicare/IHHS?) in California? Either for my Dad or for me? I am full-time caretaker having to move here and go "visit" my own home back out of state once in a while. Been doing this the past few…
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Argumentative
Hi new here my mom has had dementia for 2 years she thinks she can do whatever she want .she cancels dr appointments when she knows they Important and she argues with me she not going she does have other health issues I don't know how to help her understand how to get her to go without a argument
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Dad is closer to me now and in a memory care community - we are new to this
Hello dear community, I know that I am not alone. I think hearing from others on this journey will help me cope and understand that some of what I am going through with Dad is part of the disease process. My heart is breaking. So here I am seeking camaradarie and support. My Dad was living independently with an Alzheimer's…
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Refusing to spit
Hello all. I wanted to know if anyone is experiencing this and if you have found a remedy. My dear mother has moderate to severe Alzheimer's. She tends to hold saliva in her mouth and swish it around, refusing to spit it out. She's not rude, she will nod or say Mm hmm when I tell her to spit it out in the sink. Then she…
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Progression - coping with ongoing loss
Just a vent and an update. My mom is safe in a great MC. It costs a fortune and probably some of whatever inheritance I’d get but it’s worth it. I’m her sole caregiver. She’s doing well overall - still able to go out to dinner sometimes, still mostly knows me, still able to laugh - but her memory and adls and symptoms are…
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Frustrated
Hello again everyone! This post is more of an update and a bit of a rant, I suppose. I have moved forward with signing a lease for AL for my dad, as the place I found is very nice and space goes quickly. I attempted to have a conversation with him about the move yesterday, and took him to see that it is not a nursing home,…
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Food Obsessions
My 90 YO mom with mixed dementia has become OCD for lack of a better descriptor about food expiration dates. I clearly write purchased and opened dates on everything with a sharpie but there still no trust and we waste a lot of money on food because she constantly throws it away when it’s perfectly fine She says it tastes…
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Respite care
Hello, does anyone have any information regarding respite care for your loved ones while you go away on a vacation? My mother lives in Erie County near Buffalo, NY. I am getting no assistance from her insurance company who allegedly covers this type of care.
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Anger and meanness in mom
I walked down this road 10 years ago with my daddy. It was so much fun I get a return trip with mom. Only he didn't get mean and treat me like the red headed step child. Today was bad. Really bad. She screamed and yelled and called me and my siblings names that would make a sailor blush. Luckily I don't live with her but…
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Caregivers....they are special
Whether you choose in-home or facility care, the caregivers are special people. They are there when you and your loved one need them. They earn every penny, or buck, and our most incredible, deepest thanks…..
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hallucination
Anyone know anything about hallucinations with dementia? Do they get worse?
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Am I doing the right thing?
Hi everyone, I am caring for my mom with early-onset Alzheimer's. She is 58 years old and she moved in with me last July, 2023. Before then, she was living in her own apartment in a different state and my grandmother was living with her, so she was able to care for her, while still allowing her to feel as though she had…
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Is it the Disease or Mom?
For the last several weeks our 86 old mom with dementia has been getting increasingly frustrated with her inability to answer the phone, use the TV remote, sometimes turn off the water, lots of things. I am wondering if it is the disease when she takes her frustration out on us and will wash the dishes she's used and leave…
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Planning to move my father to my home
Hello all. Im planning to move my father here with me in my home which is in a different state then he lives. He lives alone in his own home and his dementia is progressing. He thinks he is coming for a visit. But in actuality won’t be going back home this time. I will need to go thru his things at home and sell the house…
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Searching for Millennial Elder Care Support Group in the DMV
Hi, looking for a point in the right direction for a support group either in-person or virtual in the DMV that is based on the experiences of other millennial care givers and their parents with Dementia/Alzheimers.
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General Question About Medicaid
Hi everyone. I have a general question/curiousity about Medicaid (I'm completely ignorant to this). I've tried applying for Medicaid for my mom twice now, and both times, her app has been declined almost immediately. She makes less than $1700 in SS and has virtually no savings, no retirement, pension, life insurance, nada.…
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Should I tell Dad he has Alzheimers?
Is it more helpful or hurtful to remind my Dad that he has Alzheimers? My Dad refuses to move to AL. He says they are doing fine. We try to give him examples of why he's not but it feels like this is more hurtful than helpful, especially since he won't remember the conversation. What do we do/say instead? I find myself…
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New to ALZConnected - parent suspected to have ALZ
Hello All! My 74 yr old dad is concerned that he has ES ALZ because he "feels foggy" all the time and couldn't remember how to get to a specific place on a lake he visits 1x per year. While I have concerns that his memory is slipping, I am not sure it's ALZ or typical age related memory loss. He is extremely sharp and…
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Help!!! I need RESPITE for a week anywhere San Diego!!!
Well I had thought PACE was going to set up care for my mom so I can attend a work conference. I am on the verge of losing my job since my mother moved in last October. I have missed several conferences and this one is mandatory. Anyone know of any respite care that will take a dementia woman for a week. Anywhere in San…
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Finally Visited
I finally visited my LO in MC. It's pretty awful. The food is cold, hard, or non existent if they "think" she refuses to eat it. The staff, especially at night are rude or incompetent. (Daytime isn't much better) She's mad as hell! She's a tweener. She needs mental and social stimulation found in AL with extra support…
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Mother making up stories
Hi, I'm new here. My 74 yo mother is staying with my son and I for the summer, until my son goes back to school. My son is 9 yo. My mother has been making up toxic stories about me, telling her friends and even my adult daughter. This has been going on for about a month and I just found out. My mother also believes I am…
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Freaking out
I read that 1/3 of caretakers pass before the PWD goes. I depend on my mom to take care of dad until he dies. But my mom also have beginning signs of Alzheimer's and don't know how it will progress. I don't know what to do if either one passes away and how I can step in to take care of them when their conditions worsen.
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Smoking
My mom stopped smoking in January, not because she wanted to but because it just wasn't safe so no one would buy her cigarettes' any longer. In early February she went into a SNF, there for 9 weeks. She came home and was doing find without cigarettes. It has been 6 months and she hasn't had a cigarettes. She had tried 3…
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Resistant to redirection or distraction
Does anyone have experience with redirection or distracting not working? Specifically, PWD wants to wash takeout containers before eating. It's not just rinsing, but washing with soap, even paper containers. These attempts don't work: It's not necessary to wash them I'll do it myself, later You can do it later Please go…
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Getting a diagnosis for someone refusing to notify a doctor
New here! My mother doesn't have a diagnosis yet--she's been refusing to address her memory loss issues or tell her doctor what is going on. My stepfather has been helping her with routine tasks and even going with her to doctor's appointments (for unrelated issues), which has masked her loss of cognitive function. Earlier…
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WRONG DECISION
My 88 year old mom has dementia, age related memory loss, depression, stubbornness, and selfishness. She lives 1000 miles away from me and decided to try to live in the same town as me. She moved from her home with daily care to a supported living apartment. She's miserable being here and I'm miserable having her here but…
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Getting angry/firm with mom
My mom is in late stage dementia. In SKN memory care. She cries and cries. She is anxious. She is on meds of course, they never seem to really work very well. Here's the thing, What happens if we get in mom's face and say, just stop crying! I watched someone else do this with their mom and wondered, does that really help?
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Didn't see Mom now for two weeks
Hello, I usually see my Mom every week. However I started a new job so last week I couldn't see her and today I locked myself out at the gym and needed an employee to cut the lock after I tried numerous times to try to unlock my lock. Why am I starting a new discussion because I can only see my Mom before I go straight to…
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Saw my Mom Today
It's been 8 years that my Mom is in a NH. So today, I spoke to her like it was her first time meeting me. I told her who I am and that I got a haircut, I asked her if I looked good. Can you believe she spoke and said yes! We also prayed together, I of course pray only. This desiese is strange but I know it's just a good…
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Alf soon
Mom is 83 and doesn't have a formal diagnosis yet, but Definitely some sort of dementia. We have a neurologist appt in Sept. Due to her memory, she needs help, with meds, food, and some Healthcare. After her last surgery I finally got her agree to move to ALF, Dr' all agree. She's supposed to move in July 12th. She is now…