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Just venting
Disregard please ...
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Caregiver support
Hi. I’m new to the forum. It’s been 4 months since my 90 yo mom moved in with me and my family. She has not been officially diagnosed with Alzheimer’s or dementia but she has the symptoms. I am in the process of having her see a neurologist next month. I am her full time care giver. All my siblings are scattered around…
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Mom is free of the monster which is dementia!
On the morning of July 3rd Mom passed peacefully in her sleep. She was in late stage 5 but was still able to dress herself, feed herself and toilet herself, so she was able to stay in her ALF. She had also developed a lower intestinal bleed which could have only been treated by major surgery which we declined. She lost a…
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Sister Financially Abusing Mom
My 54 year old sister is a narcissist and is the primary caregiver for our mom. Although I use caregiver very loosely. My mom has lived with my sister for 6 years now. The first 4 years while she was married. My sister gets paid by in home support services to “take care” of my mom. Help with meals, bathing, doctors appts,…
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Pill Management
Hi! Any ideas for pill management from the collective brain our there are appreciated! Here's the dilemma. Every morning, I give my 90-year-old mom with MD her six pills. Every morning, she counts them and questions me. Whatever, I expect that. But in doing so and counting them, she invariably loses one, misplaces it, or…
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Recommend an audiobook for a new caregiver?
My mom has recently been diagnosed and my dad is the primary caregiver, though I'm assisting with everything from getting her to appointments to matching them with information to providing care and visits as often as possible. I'd like to buy my dad an audiobook to listen to about dementia. Does anyone have a…
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When I'm away, Dad doesn't feed Mom
My Mom has pretty advanced dementia, Dad less advanced, I live with them to take care of them. Mom would stay in bed and not eat if I didn't feed her; Dad can get himself some simple food like cereal and ice cream; I make or buy them both real food. I tried to hire in-home care for Mom a few months ago, but Dad chased away…
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Refusal to take meds
My mother, who lives in a memory care facility, has been increasingly resistant to taking her meds (she has six or seven meds she takes, divided between after breakfast and bedtime). What are some strategies for dealing with this? The nurses at her facility have some success in bargaining with her, but that seems to have…
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Dad's anger and my mental well-being
Hello, I am beginning to wonder if my visits with dad do more harm than good. He really wants to go home. The demands increase and intensify. I end up just having to figure out ways to excuse myself so he doesn't escalate more. Agitation and pacing have already been concerns for the nurse practitioner at his memory care…
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The guilt…
There is so much guilt living with loved ones who have dementia. Am I doing the right thing? Do I need to visit more? Am I doing enough? I’m at a place right now where I feel like my Mom is living and yet not living. She’s in a wonderful AL but refuses to be involved. Visits are torture because it’s a fight to get her out…
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Sundowning
My mum literally stays up all night pottering around. Has fixated with opening all her curtains and making her bed even though it’s night time she doesn’t even realise that its dark when she opens all the curtains. Her GP has put her on 4mg melatonin which she has been taking for 7 nights and they clearly don’t touch the…
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"Bed Cane" (support handle) to help with transfer from bed
Hi, it's been suggested I order a "bed cane"/support handle for my father (he has pretty advanced dementia and lives in assisted living. Those I see online look good, and I know there are medical supply companies with these as well. Has anyone used one of these, and is there a best, most secure brand (that doesn't slip out…
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The New Car
This shows that even the most "routine" or necessary change can really throw things into a tailspin. I am my mom's primary and only caregiver. She lives with me. I'm waiting to hear about an appointment for a Medicaid assessment, but they are pretty stretched and backed up, and I've been told it could take several weeks to…
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HOW to finish the diagnosis for a very unwilling patient?
My mom has been suffering with memory lapses for some time, but it was absolutely unacceptable to talk about these memory lapses! However, less than a month ago, she had a major episode in front of us where she didn't recognize my stepfather (her husband of 44 years) and was convinced we were trying to steal her money.…
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Siblings Who Care More About Their Inheritance Than Mom's Care
Greetings, I came across this article and it almost exactly describes my situation https://www.agingcare.com/articles/amp/133713 Does anyone have any experience with this?
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Working with aids in memory care
Hi everyone, Not urgent, but I am curious: what are all of your relationships like with the aids in memory care? I am a people-pleaser with a tendency to over share: working on this, but it’s pretty entrenched in my personality. I have become overly communicative with the aids, who feel they can share their opinions with…
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Doctor appointments
Hi all, My mom (69) was recently diagnosed with Alzheimer's and I (28) am her caregiver. It's difficult being so young and trying to figure some things out on my own. I don't have any experience and no one in my family does either. I am learning as I go. Since my mom has started her diagnosis journey, she finds every…
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How to become a provider for my Dad
This is a long story short. New to this. Dad has Dementia pretty bad and wife kicked him out 2 weeks ago. Us kids have been trying to care but super hard with this new lifestyle for him. The other day he fell at my sister's and we were in the ER for 2 days. He was transferred to a rehabilitation facility. He hates it. I…
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mini moments and self talk / inner dialog
Hi community, I am reminding myself that Alzheimer's is what has changed dad's living situation and opportunity for more freedom. It's Alzheimer's that he's actually upset about. That anger and frustration just gets pointed at me. Alzheimer's is why he didn't realize the help he needed. It's also why he couldn't organize…
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Need immediate support
Hi everyone, I am in need of some immediate support, advice and good vibes! Today was the day that I was to move my dad into the very nice AL community that I had secured for him. However, he has had a few people filling his head with BS, and further convinced him that he is fine and they will "take care of" him, which is…
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Alternatives to Driving
Hi Everyone, this is my first post here. I read a lot of the past conversations on driving, but have what I think is a twist on the question. My best friend's husband was just diagnosed with Early-Onset Alzheimers in his 50's, and like many is having problems accepting that he can no longer drive. My question is about the…
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How to Parent a Parent: When They Need Help But Think They Are Fine
Hi, all, My mother has always been a huge extravert. But as her Alzheimer's progresses, she's starting to become more socially isolated and doesn't like meeting new people. She's also kind of "moody" at times and sometimes doesn't even want to talk with her friends. We're no longer comfortable with her being home by…
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Decisions
so my dad has a general diagnosis of dementia. Friends are telling me I should bring him to a neurologist. I believe he’s in a moderate stage. I don’t see the purpose of discovering what kind of dementia? It’s so disruptive to take him out of his home in memory care and to appointments. Weighing the pros and cons.…
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LO keeps asking how long he will be visiting
Hi everyone, Traveling with my LO and he has asked several times how long he will be visiting. I said about a week. He will actually be staying permanently. I am trying to come up with a go around but need some help. Anyone?
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Additional ‘care’ still needed in memory care?
My father is likely entering ‘early-late’ stage. He is still mobile with a walker but increasingly unsteady with difficulty getting on his feet. He can get to and from the bathroom and is primarily continent during the day though he can often have accidents. Incontinent during the night. But the biggest change I’ve noted…
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Things to keep my LO moving
Hello all, Recently brought my LO back home with me. We made it! Then I got sick and haven’t been feeling great but getting better. I wanted to know if anyone has any ideas to get my LO moving. I work from home and because I have been sick we haven’t done much. My LO doesn’t generally get up early so once he does I would…
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Early stage Dementia - Advocating for PT and OT at home
My mom was diagnosed with early stage dementia (March), neurology scan, neuropsych testing done. Balance and coordination are changing quickly. Despite outpatient Physical therapy (19 sessions btw January to July), she continues to have wobbly balance issues, particular when stepping onto gravel surfaces or going down…
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Behavior
I am so confused on how my dad can appear so “with it” and remember certain things and then be totally off in the next sentence?! Seriously, I have beaten myself up many a time for placing him in memory care but can now see VERY clearly he needs to be there. But I leave scratching my head sometimes!
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Viscious Cycle
I'm tired. I'm exhausted. My mom, with moderate MD, is a handful. I don't know what's an MD symptom anymore or not. My mom has 40% bilateral hearing loss (probably much worse, actually) and cataracts in both eyes. Yet, she will argue with me and the doctors about how she "knows" she doesn't and has never had hearing or…
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Mourning my mom
Hi everyone. My mom has been diagnosed with alzheimer's disease for about 10 years now. Last year, had to place her in a memory care facility(the hardest thing ever). She has been doing well there and they are taking great care of her. She is still declining tho. She is in the the final stage of alzheimer's. So she can't…