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POA
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Suggestions PLEASE
Hello everyone! This my first post, as a matter of fact, this is the first time I am dealing with someone with dementia. I am overwhelmed to say the least. I recently came to stay at a shelter, as I lost my house. This was 2 months ago. It's a small shelter, at present, there is just myself and another person, who has…
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Waiting for Dr in Chicago
Finally got a referral for my LO for a neurologist at a clinic specializing in dementia and they can’t see my LO until February of 2025. Is that normal? (I’m new at this) My LO recently got an MCI diagnosis. We are seeking treatment and I worry things could change a lot in 8 months.
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Caregiving "shift" ending at sundown and restarting at sunrise.
While each PWD is different and some stay up at any time in the evening, some PWD may want to go to sleep somewhat early, which is convenient if it avoids sundowning. So that may be around 8 pm in summer. This also gives a caregiver some time on their own later, in order to do personal tasks, such as paying bills, or…
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Joyful surprise
I’ve been trying to get DH to shave for several days without success. This morning he said to me “I go to work today right?” Actually he goes to daycare which he believes is his work. So I agreed that yes he goes to work today. He got up, went to the bathroom and shaved.
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A real conversation between MIL and DH
The movie Yours, Mine and Ours is blaring in the background. MIL is very hard of hearing so everything is always at 90% volume. ********** DH: I want you to try this cookie. It’s not too sweet. MIL: (suspiciously) What is it? DH: it’s a cookie. MIL: What? DH: A COO-KEY MIL: What’s a COO-KEY? DH: You know what a cookie is!…
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always feeling cold
My DW is in moderate to late moderate stage. Through the winter she always said she was cold especially her legs. However, now that it is much warmer she will at times still say she is cold even when the room temp is 80 and she has a light blanket on. I have mentioned this recently to both her PCP and Neurology PA. Blood…
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Closing Doors
I'm a 24/7 caregiver for my mom, who has stage 6 dementia. She has an extremely annoying habit about doors. When she goes to the bathroom or the back porch, she never shuts the door all the way. The bathroom is the worst for me (I've seen things I can't unsee). But the porch isn't much better as it lets in summer heat. The…
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Husband newly diagnosed and was still working
My 74 year old husband started having dreams that he thinks are real back in November. He was officially diagnosed in March. He was running his own business into the ground. Found out he hadn’t filed taxes in 5 years. Made him close the business and now we are being sued by one of his clients for $1M. If we lose this case,…
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When it is time to take cell phone away
My Mom has been in memory care for 7 months with moderately severe dementia. I'd say she's Early to Middle Stage 5 on the DBAT. She still has her cell phone. I don't think she calls anyone except me, but she receives calls periodically from friends and family. I monitor her email account from my computer and today I…
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Do you take your LO in AL to the store to buy supplies?
Mom moved to AL about a month ago. I’m curious if you take your LO out weekly to buy supplies? I avoid it since I never know what she is going to decide she “needs”. I’m worried her room will fill with clutter or just multiples of things she already has. If I ask if she needs anything she will just tell me she needs to go…
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Bible Verse to Lift You Up 6/24/24
GOD’S FAVOR FOR THE RIGHTEOUS Psalm 5:12 NIV "Surely, Lord, you bless the righteous; you surround them with your favor as with a shield." James 5:16 NIV 'Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective." THINK ABOUT THIS…
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A Warning re:PWDs and others who live alone
Yesterday I got a telephone message on my landline from "Anonymous": "This is your official notification that you have been placed on my schedule to be served court-sealed documents. You will be served either at your place of employment or place of residence. At that time a signature and two forms of identification will…
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Early onset: navigating caregiving AND parenting simultaneously
Lately, I've been feeling more ready to wander around these forums and read about the struggles and heartbreaks of other caregivers. We are fairly new to this reality and I'm finding acceptance of our circumstances little by little. I recently found the Dementia Behavioral Assessment Tool (DBAT) and it's given me such a…
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Mom is always worried she is in trouble
The last several times I’ve been to the AL, Mom’s first question is ‘ did they call you?’. The next is ‘ am I in trouble? At some point, she will say ‘ I had a meltdown’. Sometimes it’s ‘last night’. Sometimes it’s ’this morning’. All of this appears to be in her head because the AL is not calling me or reporting said…
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When it rains…
it pours. In the Spouse section I’ve been detailing my DH’s month-long journey in two Geri psych units, which will hopefully end with him being released back to his memory care tomorrow. In the meantime my 90-year-old mother, who has vascular dementia, has started another type of journey. She had a major stroke in December…
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Just a share, for fun and peace
this was the midsummer moon on our farm last night. If you have things that ease your burden, please post
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LO in memory care asking for credit cards, cash and driver license
I moved both parents to assisted living two months ago, and they are now saying both parents need to move to memory care. I am planning for that move shortly. Since they moved two months ago, both parents have been confused and disoriented. I have been holding my dad's wallet that contains a credit card, cash, both of…
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recent diagnosis
I am a caregiver for my wife. I recently took her for a bran MRI after her spinal fluid analysis was inconclusive with AD. After her MRI the doctor told me with her atrophy and spinal analysis they think she has an early form of dementia that's possible from AD. Still don't know what to make of this or why I can't just get…
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Down Syndrome with early onset dementia
Hi! My daughter, born with DS is 31 years old and started showing signs of dementia long before I realized what was happening. I had planned for so many different problems, but not once did I think this would be it. As I watch her decline, it breaks my heart and all I can do is try to keep life as normal as possible. My…
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Respite care tour
Touring a couple options to (hopefully) take advantage of Medicare's 5 days of respite care. Curious to see what the rooms/residents/meals/care teams are like. Anything else I should look at/ask about?
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death, aftermath, touching back down to earth
Hi everyone, I always had the intention of returning to this forum and all of you once I'd had some space to process my grief. But it turns out, I don't think my brain is processing it! Unless it is.. and I just don't know it. I was wondering if posting here would help unlock the box of grief my brain has been quietly…
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One or none (zero) items is easier to deal with
I noticed that a mid-stage PWD may have an easier time with only one item (let's say it's a box of cereal) or none at all. Let's say there's an half empty box of cereal, so you bought a new one and put it next to it. PWD would take the full one, and try to refill the half empty one with it. It won't fit, so you end up with…
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News from UsAgainstAlzheimer's
Michael Ellenbogen sent me quite a bit of news from this important Alzheimer's organization. I just picked out a few of the stories. Meet the women of UsAgainstAlzheimer's As part of Women’s History Month in March, we released four videos shining a spotlight on some of the incredible women who are driving change through…
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Revisiting Staging Tool - noticing the (shocking) Caregiver info
Here is the 7 Stages of Dementia Behavioral Assessment Tool (DBAT) from Tam Cummings that has given the most accurate info for me. However, I only skim it. I review it every so often to see where we stand on progression, and to clarify my thinking on what may be happening with DH that I can address to make the day go…
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Diagnosis
I am caring for my husband. We have been to a neurologist twice. At the initial visit, the doctor ordered a sleep study, blood work, MRI, did several tests, and interviewed him. The sleep study confirmed significant apnea, blood test showed Lyme disease, and MRI was "unremarkable". I was encouraged to think that the…
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Just an update on DB
I've had a busy couple of weeks preparing for my home to be painted, having it painted, and now starting the process of moving things from the garage back in to the house. The weekend before the painting I asked DB to come over and help with the prep work, especially gathering up my e-waste and taking it to the local…
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Sleeping
Hi Everyone…. Aside from Seroquel is there any other medicine for dementia patients that helps them sleep through the night? Thanks = )
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Cheryl Wirth, transfer mom 93 with dementia to assisted living
I’ve been taking care of my mother at her house at night and my house during the day . I have become cranky and losing my patience more . I am 72 years old . Have put in application for assisted living memory care home . Do you have any suggestions on how to make the transfer as smooth as possible . I’m sure she will be…
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Mother-in-law with Alzheimer's diagnosis refusing treatment/diagnosis
Hi all, I am new to this forum. My mother-in-law was diagnosed with early stages of Alzheimer's about nine months ago. Since then, it has been an uphill (upmountain?) battle. She has refused to accept the diagnosis and will not return to see her neurologist despite MRI and cognitive confirmation of the disease. She has…