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Need Some Advice(4)
I tried to apply for Medicaid for my mama so she could receive long term care services and support (I mean, we get burned out and need help). Anyways, she got her denial letter today. They say she makes too much money by like $100 or something like that. So I want to appeal the decision. Has anyone done this before? I…
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Dealing Immediately with Aggression?
I understand my son with EO is far more complicated because he was born with congenital brain damage. BUT, surely there must be some people who have had to deal with occasional aggression? When I look online, I only see well-meaning articles about understanding the triggers and root causes of a tantrum. I get it that this…
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So Much Stress and Anger.... I am Struggling With Everything
Hello, I am new here and just need some support from others going through the same thing and options/help. My mother is 94 and her short term memory is gone but she is still pretty sharp with other things and about 5-6 years ago I started seeing changes in her as she lived alone, we lived 35 miles apart but she would come…
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Is it time to choose a nursing home?
I've about decided that I won't be able to be of help to Daddy Elf much longer. He has steadily been getting worse. Over the past 3 months he has lost bowel and bladder control. I'm deep scouring his bathroom and bedroom floor about every 3-4 days. He'll swear to me that he doesn't know who makes such a mess in the…
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Anxiety/Depression over hereditary Alzheimer’s
My mom has been diagnosed with Alzheimer’s and my brother and I are working to help her which is overwhelming in itself but I am also really struggling with anxiety and depression as it relates to the hereditary aspect of this disease. My mother, my grandmother and my great grandmother have all had Alzheimer’s and I feel…
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How to help mom eat?
My mom was dx with Alz 4 years ago. She's in the moderate stage now. She is 76 and lives at home with my dad who is 89. She is in relatively good health otherwise, but her weight has continued to decrease as she loses her ability to not only remember to eat but also how to prepare food or even find something to eat in the…
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Prepping Mom for move to MC
Hello all, We have found a MC facility that has space, gets good reviews and we can (sort of) afford. We hope to sign the contract in the next couple weeks and move mom in shortly thereafter. I have found it helpful when many of you shared your plans and experiences for the day of moving your LOs to a facility and we will…
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New stage, sleeping, and support for mom
Hi Everyone! I'm the only daughter of my mom, who's mid-stage Alzheimer's, possibly beginning the transition to late stage. Mom is in a nursing home for the past year. Prior to her entering last August, I lived with her and provided in-home care (with the support of local agencies - her daycare, companion caregivers, some…
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Lost it, feel terrible
I lost it on my sweet Mom today. The circumstance doesn't matter, its not her fault, she has advanced Alzheimers for goodness sake. I lost it, yelled at her and lost patience with her. I know I am exhausted, the constant shadowing and lack of break over the holiday weekend didn't help but there is no excuse. I know I have…
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Moving elderly Alzheimers patients across the country
My Dad and his wife (89 and 85) live in Virginia. I live in Tucson. My stepmother has Alzheimers and my father has serious short- and long-term memory issues, but hasn't been diagnosed with Alzheimers. They have lived in a wonderful memory care (stepmom)/assisted living (Dad) facility since 2017. I am their only living…
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Me again with the same topic- when you feel most family is against you
I'm ready to break. I do it all and do everything to make mom happy. No else can be bothered. Her dementia is worse every day and she thinks I am the problem (she lives with me). This is just a vent session for me as I was ready to explode and had to get it out.
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AL companion or aide
Has anyone hired a aide for their LO in AL? My step father is in AL and is high functioning Alz. but I feel he needs more. I do not want to put him in MC until I absolutely have to. I feel if I hired someone, who hopefully would be a friend of a friend or family, He/I would get a more dependable situation. He needs someone…
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Any other caregivers in Hampton Roads area
Sole caregiver to 83 year old mother Looking for other caregivers in the HR area to support each other, exchange information, ideas, ect. Let's connect!
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I Live 3000 miles away from parents
Hello,It seems that many of us are dealing with similar situations with our parents. I am not sure that mine is much different except that we live on opposite coasts. My parents are extreme homebodies and have never liked to go anywhere. I moved to the opposite end of the country almost 40 years ago for school and then…
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I feel guilty not wanting to care for my mom
I have so much fear having my mother come and live with me in December. Her Alzheimer’s is progressing and I’m having to take care of all bills, financials, dr appts, etc… I never imagined having to take care of my mom at 30 years old, as a single mom with twin little girls. Also at my moms tender age of 58. She is…
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Question for those who have flown with their LO
Hi. I am considering flying with my DH to visit family and friends. My biggest concern is bathroom use during the flight. DH is not incontinent but sometimes gets confused about toilet use away from home. Would appreciate input from those who have flown with their LO at a similar stage. I could possibly squeeze in there…
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Disaster Preparedness Links For Caregivers
The links would not copy; but they are in the following Thread on the Spousal Forum: https://www.alzconnected.org/discussion.aspx?g=posts&t=2147557896 Will try again later and see if I can get the indiviual links list to copy over here. J.. J.
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Lost, need advice
Ok, so this is going to be long. Please bear with me. I feel it's important to give a bit of backstory so this all makes sense. Last year, my mom's health started declining. She's never been in great health, and has always had issues with her heart and diabetes. However, last year, she started having to ask for more help:…
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MC visits
I am hoping to get some help making my visits to my mother in MC more pleasant for both of us. Some background...Mom was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s a few years ago and recently Vascular Dementia was added to her diagnosis. She and my dad were living in an independent apartment affiliated with an AL facility when Dad…
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Feeling guilty(5)
My mom has had dementia for quite some time and I have always handled her doctor's appointments, medications, grass cutting, etc. Even before the dementia, my mom had mental health issues and was pretty high maintentance. There were SO many times when she refuse to take anti-depressants and would call multiple times a day…
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SS payee rep and progress
I haven't posted for a while. I've made some incredibly good progress with my dad's situation. He has dementia, was scammed, and I am also dealing with my stepmother who is in denial and keeps going to my dad for guidance. I am now appointed as his payee representative for his social security. I got his updated Medicare…
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Moving a person with dementia
Hello, first post here. My 69 year old mother was recently diagnosed as having dementia, most likely due to Alzheimer's. She has been having memory issues for approximately 2 years, with more pronounced issues in the last 6 months (forgetting phone number, forgetting how to use appliances, asking where they are going in…
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Transfer from Acute to Short-term Rehab
Mom had pacemaker implanted last week after a terrible fall. She's 89 and frail to start with other health issues. The acute rehab was intensive for her and they wanted to discharge to the home when living space is unsafe (bedroom upstairs, cluttered hallways/spaces...) NOT conducive for a frail senior who is at risk for…
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Nursing Homes in SE Mass?
I'm curious to know if anyone on here is in the Southeast Massachusetts area and has placed a LO in a nursing home that accepts Mass Health/Medicaid. Lots of factors to consider and always prefer to get opinion from someone who's been through it.
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Caregiver feeling resentment, need advice
Hello! I am new to this forum. I have read several posts and it has been helpful reading other stories and feeling less alone. My MIL moved in with my husband and I and our three boys two years ago. Things were pretty good when she moved in. Since, then it has progressed to moderate. It has moved to her daily thinking I am…
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I'm terrified and don't know what to do
I'm so sorry, but this is going to be a long post. I don't know what to do or even where to go for answers. My mother doesn't trust doctors so I can't take that route. If she knew I was writing this post, she'd see it as a major betrayal. My mother is 81 years old and I know she has been suffering from some form of…
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Any suggestions on packing back up or anger?
We moved MIL near us about a month ago. Any suggestions or advice on dealing with a couple of things (we have a whole host of things we’re trying to manage/figure out but I’ll just start with 2!) 1) We moved MIL next to us about a month ago (against her wishes). She is continually focused on going back home. What do you do…
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Anxiety about upcoming assessment
The day is finally here, my grandmother is going to get assessed for her COPES/LTC application. I am terrified that for whatever reason, she will fail it. Like, she will have a really good day and they will say she is fine, when really, she needs her caregiver there all the time. If she doesn't get approved for some crazy…
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Where do I go from here
I'll try to make this short, I just don't know where to go from here, my father is very stubborn and refuses certain help, I need advice. My dad has always suffered from certain types of depression and have stopped working many times due to it. Mom and him divorced in 1996, he has been alone ever since, has dated here and…
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Caregiver Pay
This is an awkward subject. Pay for caring for a loved one. But the simple fact is, my wife and I gave up our lives we were building in California and moved home to South Dakota to keep my mom out of a nursing home during the pandemic. For 9 months now, since we walked into this buzzsaw on November 4th 2020, my wife and I…