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Does the shadowing ever end?
I’m so worn out by my DH following me around literally everywhere, asking a million questions- when does this end? I know you all know how exhausting this is. Can you tell me if it will subside?
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30th Anniversary & reflection
Today is our 30th anniversary, so I thought it was a good time to give an update. DH has been in memory care for 16 weeks. He adjusted much easier and faster than I ever expected. About 2 months in, his behaviors there started to get a bit worse and he went for a 10 day stay at a psych hospital for med adjustment. I wish…
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You may be interested in this person.
Lori La Bey has many great resources for all folks related to dementia. Please feel free to share. The Video is live now https://youtu.be/RMwUpWzvbsg Here is the link to the event on Dementia Map…
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Venting(4)
I'm venting today as I need to. Not for sympathy but to just let my anger flow out of me. DH has had some bad days -- delusions, anxiety, stress and anger. He hits a point where he gets so wound up that he has IBS like bowel movements. This morning was the morning for it to happen. And I almost lost it in more ways than…
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DH still in hospital
I posted that DH was so agitated angry and aggressive I had to call 911. That was June 9 almost 3 weeks ago. He stayed in a "holding area" in the ER waiting to be placed in a geri psych ward 5 nights in one hospital and 3 more nights after he was transferred to Boston. He was admitted to the hospital on Friday June 17.…
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My FB post on Walk for the Cure
Here it is. Perhaps you can join me to raise awareness of caregivers’ plight by using social media to educate and apply pressure. It is shameful that dementia caregivers are so poorly supported in this country. Alzheimer’s Association: wonderful goal, but far off. Please read your site’s caregiver forums to see how we…
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Another of the greatest generation passes
As a pastor in a small community, I met and learned alot from those folks who went thru some of the worst times in history. I am posting her obituary here. I will miss her. I think her story is so filled with adversity, but she was always cheerful and had a beautiful laugh. Maria Denisenkaite Spiva was born on January 29,…
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We need more people like him
The man who owns the funeral home where my wife will be has had the business for many years, locally. Several years ago, he decided to sell to a large company, and continued to work as an employee for them. But after seeing how they treated the grieving families, financially, he decided to open another funeral home, about…
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So what's it like ?
Well meaning friends and family will ask what is it like living with a wife who has dementia? I used to start to explain but knew I wouldn't finish before they lose interest and want to move on to how they have a great idea that they think may help. I pretty much have condensed the answer to "There are good days and bad…
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Treating New Medical Condition
My H diagnosed with Alzheimer's in 2014, well into Stage 6, anosognosia, irritable, etc. Able to dress, bath, eat food prepared-when the mood strikes and remembers anything he is told for less than a minute. I make decisions based on "Is this a hill I want to die on today?" At 71yrs he suddenly has very high ferritin…
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Overwhelmed on this forum
Hi gang. On very many occasions I have landed on this site, read a post from someone asking help or advice, and I try to respond. I may type a page or two of carefully thought out and edited response...and then I just stare at it, and then I just....I just can't. I hit delete and leave the site and stare at the ceiling for…
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DH says doesn’t need any therapy
DH diagnosed with mild dementia last year. Neurologist recommend therapy- speech therapy will be helpful. He says he doesn’t need any. He watches tv, goes for a daily walk, eats and goes to sleep. That’s the daily routine. Doesn’t call friends, socialize. Short term memory is v bad, can’t remember the date or what was said…
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Four years since she knew who I was
I started dating DW in the summer of 1972. That was 50 years ago . By summer of 2018 she had lost all recognition of me as someone special. It pains me that I can't really share how wonderful she was. I know that I have felt empty and alone for more than 4 years. I was just on vacation with my wonderful daughters and 5…
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Live-in care partner
My DW has developed some durable delusions over the last few months, including frequent instances where she does not recognize me as her husband (47 years). In my small (so far) research into MC options, I am not eager to move into a new place that would have IL with adjacent AL and MC. I have a big house with an apartment…
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Good weekend
Hello everyone. I find this group to be great therapy in many ways. One in particular is when I make a new discovery about how to deal with this situation I can post it here. For a long time I had to just bottle it up. No one not in our situation really gets it enough to share in your self discovery. When I post something…
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ER, Hospital, rough week
My DH started with severe knee pain 5 days ago, went quickly to being unable to walk, I had so many near falls helping him from chair to bed. (It turns out it's gout and increased cognitive decline) My caregiver was not coming in because of appointments, no one for 3 days, so I was on my own. DH was just lying in bed in…
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DW despondent in MC
My DW Has been in MC since the end of April. She generally knows who her friends and family members are. She lost a significant amount of weight before MC and continues to do so. At times, her short-term memory is nonexistent. I went to see her this morning. One of her friends went to see her this afternoon and called me…
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CostPlus drugs
Has anyone used Mark Cuban’s Cost Plus mail order drug site? Memantine, if I use the drug lookup correctly, looks to be about $200 cheaper for a 90 day supply. (And we certainly could use the $200 elsewhere.) Has anyone used this? Is it as easy as it looks to be? We’re you satisfied?
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The man I had lost.
One of my sons wrote this short but meaningful poem recently. It brought tears to my eyes as I realized he was writing it about his dad. The man I had lost stands before me as lost to himself as he is to me. His smiles are no longer genuine pleasure but rather enigmatic ghosts. His loss to me is known; his own loss to…
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In 5 minutes it won't matter
I am reminding myself that for the most part in 5 minutes what ever drama that is going on it won't be in 5 minutes. It helps me to look forward. Without dread. Some have referred to the longest day, I am gonna say the shortest 5 minutes. Maybe it will help me get thru the next 5 minutes, when I am at wits ends. If you…
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Won’t leave glass of water on the dining table
DH was diagnosed one year ago with mild dementia. While he can still go alone for morning walk and get home, he can’t remember simple daily tasks. Every day, I ask him to leave the glass of water on the table, every day he uses that glass. I tried putting a sign on the wall nearby, sign on the water jug but nothing seems…
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Harsh Reality
My wife was officially diagnosed with AD on Feb. 2019, but unofficially as I look back it started at the end of 2017. As caregivers we face the brunt of our LO's downward spiral which at times lead to are own. It's funny even myself now I'm slowly forgetting the good times my wife and I have shared. There now being…
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Search for Diagnosis
Hello, my first post here. I am thankful for all the information presented here. It means a lot. Here’s my story: In the early 1980’s my FIL was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s. We lived cross country and so only saw them in person once a year or so, but the early changes were dramatic. One year he could not bring up his wife’s…
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Should I move in with my parents?
Hello spousal caregivers! I'm a secondary caregiver to my mother who has moderate dementia. My father is her primary caretaker (he is in relatively good health), but Mom rarely knows who he is and gives him quite a bit of grief because of it. I live only 15 min away and help out near daily. Part of me thinks that if my…
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Update on placement(1)
It has now been 8 days since I placed my husband. I have not gone in yet but will go in next Tuesday or Wednesday. The staff say he is so sweet but has never asked about me. This is sad but good in its own way. I would not want him crying to come home. I can see a list of activities he has taken part in each day and…
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“Competent” as POA
My DW is in stage 4-5, and has frequent suspicions. If something is missing, she thinks it has been stolen, and similar fantasies. We have a set of documents, made many years ago, that give each of us POA for the other. I want to revise it now, of course, to remove that responsibility from her, but I’m sure she would not…
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Everything I own
… You sheltered me from harm Kept me warm, kept me warm You gave my life to me Set me free, set me free The finest years I ever knew Were all the years I had with you … And I would give anything I own I'd give up my life, my heart, my home I would give everything I own Just to have you back again … You taught me how to…
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Can someone help me understand purposely going on Medicaid
Hi Everyone, At the advice of this forum, my husband and I met with an Elder Care Attorney. My husband has a recent dx of dementia, possibly Alzheimer's, and are waiting 6 months to see a neuropsych for testing. DH does not have many symptoms yet and can perform ADL and drive. Most people would not know he has dementia. He…
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What to expect
My dw of 22 years diagnosed 2019 Lost sex drive although talks about it every so often ( she still knows I think about it) Everyone feels sorry for me as I loose her. It’s sad but I think it must get unbearable and want to know just what to expect. Everyone just talks generally. She Tomas with me, not necessarily adding to…
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Depakote and Donepezil
So I just got the call from the MD. They prescride these 2 medications. Does anybody have any experience with these good or bad. They didn't give me a dx. And are these expensive? And lastly any good ideas on how I can introduce these since dw doesn't take any meds period.. I know one is for memory she might not fight…