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6 years
I just realized that I have been on this site for 6 years. At that time my husband had memory issues but was still driving. Today he no longer drives, has no short term memory and long term is disappearing, gets lost, can’t be left alone, can’t do any chores around the house and does not ever remember doing them at any…
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Unique situation - need some advice please
I haven't been around in a bit and have just been plodding along. I am at a point that I need some advice. Background: I am handicapped (legs). We live on 55 mostly wooded acres in the middle of nowhere, Arkansas. My husband has always been a self-serving man and has always been passive aggressive. He is a vet (retired…
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Question on driver's license/ID
My wife's driver's license expired in December, 2021. She has not driven in about 30 years, but kept renewing her license. She will not try to renew it again, but why should she get a state ID? She will not be flying or going to federal buildings, so I don't see a reason for her to have one. Am I missing something?
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Yellow sticker/folder?
Just participated in my first local zoom support group. Interestingly, having been on this forum for 18 months, I didn't hear much new --but that's not the point of course. One thing that did get talked about was a car issue: other folks were talking about a program to put a yellow sticker on your dashboard, which…
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Placement update
DH moved into his new home last Tuesday. I didn't visit him on Wednesday, but went over on Thursday and helped him eat dinner. He was clean, but just sitting alone with his head down. He wasn't upset, he seemed content. But it broke my heart. He looked so alone.They said he had slept almost not at all the first 2 nights.…
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Head drooping
Fill me in on why this happens. DH has been doing this for the last 6 months or so, but it's much worse now. I know it's common, but I just never really understood why it happens.
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Dementia depression
My husband is getting more depressed. He also has bipolar. Had to lower his lithium because of kidney disease. Couldn’t take antidepressant because was 1400$. By time we could get in touch w psychiatrist, he was getting depressed. I put him back on lithium which has always worked well for him for 30 yrs. psyshiatrist…
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Ability to converse & understand is declining rapidly
Finding myself feeling blindsided once again on how quickly vascular dementia can progress from one stage to the next. I'm gobsmacked over how quickly my DH's ability to speak has declined. Even more pronounced is his almost total inability to make sense of what I'm trying to say to him. I've made a real effort to become a…
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Please do your part if local
Hope to see you there
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Lost wedding dress
For a couple weeks now my dw has been fixated on our wedding. She asked me if we were married for several days. She have found a wedding album I think that was the trigger. Last night she was feeling sad she remembered she had asked me if we were married. We talked about it and she knows something is wrong,I asked her to…
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Alexa is his friend
DH has been listening to music almost all the time for a few weeks. That's ok but he thinks Alexa is his friend. He's asked if she can come for dinner. He says she is lonely. I tried to tell him she's not real just on the internet but that was the wrong thing to say. I finally told him I would save food for her for when…
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Tip for long URLs
Have you ever posted a link with a long URL, and that resulted in a post that caused the post (or the whole thread) to be hard to read because it ran off the page unless you zoomed way out? If that happens, you can go to https://tinyurl.com/app to make that extra long URL into a tiny URL. It's very easy to use. Once you…
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This thread inspired by a thread by riajean
You've got to please yourself. Ricky Nelson - Garden Party
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Easy way to lock a room
My husband locked me out of the bedroom but I easily opened the door by putting a paper clip in the hole in the center of the knob. It made me realize I could easily lock the other bedroom or bathroom door to keep him out if I wanted to keep stuff safe. He would never figure out how to open it.
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PSW or personal support worker.
We had our first day with our support worker. My husband asked her many times why she was here. She handled it really well, she told him she was there to help him take a shower. He told her that was my job because we were married. I had to stifle my laughter. He told her she couldn’t see him naked. The poor worker, I told…
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When is the right time to begin to live again?
Hello, this might sound strange, but in the right context - who knows. My husband of 33 years is in memory care. Deep into stage six, he's declined rapidly since placing him last August. Working full time, I see him weekly and have been going through this tortuous loss going into 8 years now. I'm alone. No friends, only…
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Dementia takes another one
My sister in law was the caregiver for my brother for 8 years until he passed. That was 7 years ago. She passed last night from dementia, but her's was not alz. She was jubilant through her whole journey, dancing with staff at the MC, and loving life like she always did. They should all go like that.
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If you could...
DH was accepted into hospicare on Thursday, March 10th. This morning I was sitting quietly next to him and the tv was on low in the background. Suddenly on the tv I heard, "If you could live just one day over again what day would that be?" So, I thought. It was a little while later that I realized that I couldn't pick. How…
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My mom passed; had to call police on HWD
My mom had a brain bleed and we were notified she was on comfort care on Monday night. We were planning on seeing her Tuesday and were on our way, at a hotel after an 8 hour drive. I decided to push through and drive the remaining three hours to see her. We arrived at 1:00am. She was not conscious. I got to say goodbye. We…
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Out of control driver
An elderly man suddenly accelerated while driving down a busy street in Washington DC and plowed into outdoor restaurant tables killing two ladies and injuring others. Police said he was cooperative and remained at the scene. It would be interesting to know if he has dementia. A normal driver does not accelerate enough to…
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Agitation and peeing?
Hi. My DH has started to wake up in an agitated mood when he gets up during the night. I think he is waking because he needs to pee. I am wondering whether he is interpreting the sensation of a full bladder as pain and that gets him agitated? Has anyone experienced this? It's not all the time but getting more frequent.…
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Sitter
Sitter came for first time today. He was doing the dishes (yes he still can do,them). I had told her he gets fixated. Well there was a serving bowl he couldn’t figure where it went so for 3 hours he stood in kitchen worried about where it goes. She tried to distract and suggest other ideas I’d given her to suggest. After I…
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when your loved one is bed bound, how do you manage changing them?
Transferring DH has become increasingly more difficult. He is losing the little ability he had to stand up. This morning when he woke, he had a mountain of muddy poop in his disposable briefs. I was unable to lift him out of bed. I removed the briefs while he was in the bed and started cleaning him up with Huggies baby…
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What is it like caring for a parent while married?
Hi, I posted in the caregiver forum, but I was advised to check out this sub forum and looking around I just have to ask. What is it like caring for a parent while married? I am already burnt out but trying to get placement into MC has been a handful. I do have them on waiting lists but time is running out. I was given a…
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nice gesture
My two sisters stayed with me for my brother's funeral. I have an American flag that flies day and night (it is lit and protected from rain). I just got a package and note from my sisters enclosing a new flag since mine was faded and battered. It also said "We also wish we could cheer you up about DW. Your spirit is…
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Grateful to all on this forum
My beloved DH, husband of 54 years, partner in so many happy memories and the love of my life, passed away last night after his battle with Lewy Body. I am not good at writing and participating in these types of things, but I read every day the experiences and tips that so many of you so generously and eloquently shared.…
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drooling(1)
My DH has been doing this since he had his stroke . Not all the time just some days. I have also notice before the stroke one side of his face would swell up and be a little red. I told the Dr. about this and was told nothing to worry about. They said it was his salivary glands that get block. I'm sure he is maybe having…
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Confusion
My husband is very confused today. He thinks he is at work and needs to install circuits ( retired 21 years ago) and can’t understand why I can’t help him. I tried to redirect then when that didn’t work we took a drive. Still no improvement so we stopped at McDonalds and I got him a milkshake. I know the confusion will…
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Doggie Dementia
About a year ago I posted about my dog seeming to mimic my husband in many of his symptoms. He was shadowing my husband , who was shadowing me. The dog became completely incontinent and also had much anxiety and pacing. The vet today confirmed the Dementia diagnosis . He wanted to put him on Trazadone but had no advice…
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A win
Today our psw or personal support worker came at 8:00 am. She was lovely and Jon, my husband loved chatting with her. It was interesting to see them interacting together, she was no nonsense but compassionate. He is not up to her helping in the shower yet, today was our first day together. It was interesting seeing how my…