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Things are getting worse
Things were pretty stable the last couple of months. But last night DH was so agitated and said something about his brother being here. His brother lives in FL but he said he flew here on his bike!? He settled down and we went to bed. Slept all night till about 6 Today, he had his shower, got dressed, ate breakfast and…
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Music memories
I was mowing yesterday for about 5hrs about 7 acres and I listen to some music and I have a song on my Playlist by David Ball, "whenever you come back to me" it has always reminded me of my dw. But now in the context of our present life it has even greater meaning. This was on my mind to post this wondering what others…
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4-20
Today is apparently national pot day. I went to the local pot shop to get something for my husband for the next time he has severe anxiety. The place was mobbed because they do a big sale on this date each year. The young woman who helped me said her grandfather had dementia too. She recommended gummies with a ratio of…
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I've signed up for a 5 day course on dementia caregiving
I signed up for the course by Dr. Natalie Edmonds of "Careblazers". She is a certified geropsycholoogist, specializing in dementia. The course starts at 5 PM central time today, and lasts through Friday. Each segment is 1 hour long. I'll let you know if I think it was worth taking. This course is very affordable, and is…
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New Here…
I’m new to your page and I’m looking for folks in my situation. My wife is 51 and I’m 44. She has recently been diagnosed with Vascular Dementia. Along with that she has a number of other issues all related to her diabetes. My wife had her first stroke three years ago, since then she’s had several small ones. The first…
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CBD for Aggression
My DH has had several occasions where he's struck someone in his memory care unit. He has never been violent, has always been fun loving and loves people. 99% of the time he's great, but the neuro is giving him risperidone to try to settle him. Risperidone's side effects are dire, and I don't want him to be the statistic…
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DH didn't want a funeral - I understand funerals are for the living
I've often heard that funerals are for the living. DH Jesse did not want a funeral. It is definitely more economical, not to have a funeral. DH asked for cremation without a service. I followed his wishes. I will share that I felt very unsettled until DH was cremated. I was allowed to say goodbye to him at the funeral home…
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No more Normal
My wife and I have been married for over 40yrs now. We first met in Jr. High School, I guess you could call it puppy love. We done everything together movies, going to the races and walks in the park. By the time we got though high school we were getting married. We raised our family and bought my old family Homestead.…
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M1(1)
Thinking about you this morning. How are you doing?
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broken hip(1)
My husband fell in the middle of the night at the MCF. (He has been falling quite a bit lately) They notified me but they didn't think that he had hurt himself. But when I went in to see him this morning I could tell right away that he was in a lot of pain so I had him transported to the ER. He does have a broken hip and…
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A stranger in my house
Most days I dread waking up. I fall asleep the night before hoping I don't wake up, and then I do. Because I know the stranger is here. About the only things predictable anymore is that my burdens and problems grow and the stranger seems eager to make everything worse. I don't like this person and I'm having a hard time…
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Why do you torture me?
I gave DH the choice of coming with me to an appointment or staying home. After thinking for a moment, he said “why do you torture me? You keep doing it!” I guess it is his way of saying don’t give me choices, I’m not capable of figuring it out anymore. I’ll take it as his permission for me to navigate everything for us on…
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SIMUFILAM: Scientists Question Data Behind an Experimental Alzheimer’s Drug
FYI https://www.nytimes.com/2022/04/18/health/alzheimers-cassava-simufilam.html Regards, elained
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How do I hate the disease but not hate him
It’s so hard to separate the disease from the person.
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Update(9)
Yesterday my wife and I were sitting on the sofa, with the TV on. She said "What are you going to do?". I asked her what she was talking about. She asked me if we were going to save the baby. ??? There was nothing on the TV about a baby, and I have no idea where this came from. She kept asking me if we were going to save…
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My DH died
My husband of 48 yrs died on March 2. He had advanced Alzheimer's. I took care of him at home until he had grand mal seizures and the hospital said I couldn't give him the care he needed. They sent him to a nursing home and he was only there for two weeks and contracted covid. He died from kidney failure due to covid. I…
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MC has me scared
I am going to look at several LTC facilities this week. I see no other options. Interestingly the more i learn about MC the more i hear/see my DW will probably actually do better there than at home due to the routine. Recently my daughter, her husband and their cute dog stayed here three days. My DW loves them and…
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Death and a Thank You Note
My DH died last Sunday. Although I posted only a couple questions on the forum during our three-year journey, in the last year I used the it as both an encyclopedia and a source of comfort. I had so many questions and felt so much pain during this time. I finally opted to place my DH in memory care on March 8. Once there…
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The war
My husband never pays much attention to the news but he is starting to listen to the stories about the war, comment on them and act worried. I try not to have news on anymore. Today he thought he was part of Gunsmoke. It is getting hard to figure out what to watch. American Idol and America’s Funniest Home Videos are still…
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I just wanted to share
One thing I want to share, it's not all bad. I love my wife's smile and laugh. And I miss it. This morning she was telling one of her memories again, I looked at her and she had her big smile and even laughed a little. That was so good. I have heard all the stories and sometimes I forget to pay attention. I was missing out…
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50 years tomorrow
April 17 1972 the USA played China in College park in the famous "Ping Pong diplomacy" match. I had a part in making the match happen and hand had "VIP tickets" I asked the most wonderful girl on my dorm floor to go with me. She had turned down every invitation for 6 months although she would talk to me in the stairwell.…
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Confusion(1)
I don't know who is more confused...my LO or myself...or perhaps both of us are confused I am confused because he seems to constantly change...his thoughts..his actions...his behaviors I am on a roller coaster and I know he is also Folks tell me it will only get worse. I can't even imagine how I am going to be able to do…
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Dialogue on the phone
- Put me through to your caregiver, I'd like to talk to her (she's near him, I can see her in the camera) - yes, I should do that - well, put me through to her - ... - what are you doing? - I'm listening to you - I asked you to give the phone to your caregiver - Who is she? - the care assistant who is next to you - which…
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Not sure what to do(1)
After a big argument yesterday my DH kept harping on our finances. Kept asking if we are 50/50 owners of everything including the title on our house. I assured him we were. He doesn’t remember that the CELA had him sign the tile over to me exclusively. He doesn’t know that I’ve moved our savings to accounts he can’t get…
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what to expect from the MC caregivers?
Well I'm on pins and needles. I haven't heard anything from the MC unit since about 4:30 yesterday afternoon when they let me know the bed delivery was successful. Should I call? I haven't been told when I can visit, what to expect in terms of communication. I hate that this all went down on a holiday weekend when things…
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Is your LO being placed, or were they recently?
One thing that I think can be overlooked when we have so much on our minds is vaccinations. Covid is on the rise again. My wife could be close to being placed, and I'm going to have her get her booster in the next few days. I got mine done last Monday. This will be the second booster for both of us.
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Does your love one talk about their loss?
Just wanted to ask if anyone else has heard thier love one talk about things they noticed they lost. Not material things though, we were driving yesterday and my dw said she can't remember anything from her 12 to 15 yr old period just out of the blue. I asked her to make sure I knew what she was taking about. Also when I…
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About Hospice(1)
I want to say some things about hospice and the amazing people who provide this service. First of all, I can hardly comprehend how they do it. Their patients are approaching end of life and it is the job of hospice to help make that process as dignified and pain free as possible. It is not the job of hospice to make them…
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I broke one of our rules
My stress level has been through the roof all day today. About 2 hours ago I told my wife I wanted to talk to her. I told her I knew I shouldn't say what I was about to say. I had tears in my eyes, and I told her I loved her. I told her I didn't want her to go to a nursing home, but I couldn't do it any longer. She didn't…
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A little (o)bit about my DH Jesse
Hello forum family and friends. You have been by my side during this journey. I thank you and I am grateful for you. I wanted to share a little (o)bit about my DH. Jesse passed away peacefully at his home, with his wife at his side. Jesse’s life was full of adventure, shenanigans and love. Those adventures took him around…