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Scared and unsure
Iam so new to all this I apologize I just don’t know where to turn. My husband is showing signs of memory loss and it’s scary. I’ve got him to go to his pcp but I have no idea what is ahead. Iam having anxiety attacks and can’t seem to function well myself. This is a hell. I am just reaching out because I have no one to…
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Thank you all!
In my last post, I told how DH had the car key. That night, he left the key in the car while he was packing to go home, again. He asked me if I had the key, I reminded him that he had it last, but I knew the key must be in the car if the doors were unlocked. So, I told him I would help him look and sat in the driver seat.…
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New here and overwhelmed
Hello I am currently caring for my husband and am overwhelmed. The Doctor just confirmed he is in the early stages. Presented some approaches to dealing with this including the infusions. I shared this with my husband today and he didn't express much interest. Said it sounded like it wasn't safe and just not worth it. I am…
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Not taking it well...
Hi, I am totally new to this...writing and my husband behavior. I also have a hard time with sharing about our life but my daughter told me...mom find some group for your self I can't help you. My husband developed sings of dementia last year in february which we didn't noticed right away. It has been getting slowly…
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Car Keys
I have kept the car keys away from DH for several months now. Just now, he was verbally abusive and aggressive about the key fob that I had. He badgered and threatened until I gave them to him. I am so afraid he will drive off now. Though he just went to the garage and came back in. What do you do in these circumstances?
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DH's friend is stirring up trouble...
This person thinks I'm imprisoning my DH by keeping him in memory care instead of moving him to AL or independent living or back home. He doesn't agree with my care plan for my DH. I responded by saying "he's my husband, not yours!" whether you agree with me or not. He says he's done some research and can challenge my…
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Losing glasses in nursing facility
Thanking you all for your suggestions. I feel it is going to be a neverending battle. I thought of getting a strap to hold them on but don't know if that is a good idea. Compared to what everyone else is going through, this is nothing.
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Losing glasses in nursing facility
My DH has been in a nursing facility for 3 weeks and he has broken and lost a pair of glasses. Unfortunately I didn't put his name on the second pair, so don't think there is a chance they will return. Any ideas besides putting his name on them. It is going to be an expensive if he keeps losing them.
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Why caregivers go nuts
While waiting for his doctor’s appointment DH took a pamphlet off a table and read it intensely for 10 minutes. He then handed it to me to see if I would like to read it. I glanced at it and said it was interesting. It was written completely in Spanish. We don’t know Spanish. Hmmmm Last week DH lost his house keys. We…
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Getting to the doctor
My wife has dementia. I took her to a neurologist and we both had brain MRI's. He scheduled both of us for a computer test and my wife refused to take it. I did. My tests were basically to try to get her there. She refuses to go to the neurologist and has not been diagnosed but it is obvious she is getting worse. Any…
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Another Let Down
Just venting my frustration. We found a Dementia Support Coffee Group, held once a month at Brothers Leagues Club, held in one of their small meeting rooms, it has an attached kitchen and is on the ground floor surrounded by gardens and trees. Lovely. So each month we would go, meet up with people and their carers. Then we…
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Excessive Sleeping and Managing Hydration & Nutrition
My wife is progressively sleeping longer and longer. She was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s in 2020, but was afflicted before then. In January 2024 she was sleeping about 12 hours per night. In September we began logging her daily activities in a Day Planner and that has been very useful to allow our care team to communicate…
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DH does not know w
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From NYT: She's Trying to Stay Ahead of Alzheimer's...
Trigger Warning: This article discusses the euthanasia in the context of dementia and capacity to make that decision. https://www.nytimes.com/2025/02/16/health/assisted-death-alzheimers-netherlands.html?unlocked_article_code=1.xU4.tbXQ.v-oE6OJf1pgh&smid=url-share
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underwear question
I bought the first box of male guards for leaks and dribbles for DH. I am wondering (haven't opened the box yet), are these basically the same thing as pad for ladies but made in masculine color? Maybe I'll use up the old ones I have first, any reason why not? I had to buy a box of 52, so maybe I could take the m back?
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Dermotologist: When to Stop
My DW had a small spot removed a couple of years ago. A tiny melanoma we caught early. Her father had a bunch of these taken off over the years and it got harder to manage as he went downhill with his dementia. He'd pick at the scabs and they would take forever to heal. Her other sister also has considerable melanoma…
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Bible Verse to Lift You Up 2/8/25
THE LORD IS MY SHEPHERD Psalm 23 Amplified Bible A Psalm of David. 23 The Lord is my Shepherd [to feed, to guide and to shield me], I shall not want. 2 He lets me lie down in green pastures; He leads me beside the still and quiet waters. 3 He refreshes and restores my soul (life); He leads me in the paths of righteousness…
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My timeline taking montelukast
This February marks nine years that I have been taking the anti-inflammatory asthma drug montelukast multiple times a day for treating the extreme mental fatigue that I was experiencing. Here is a timeline of events. 1995 - My mother was diagnosed with early stage Alzheimers. 2009 - I retired from the the Department of…
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Bringing him home for now
Those of you who were on this site last year may remember my distress at putting DH in memory care in February. I have never been so desolate and could not accept that he couldn't be at home. I entertained the idea of having him half-in, half-out (thanks to all of you who told me this was a bad idea) and thought about…
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Wife will not help herself
my wife of 57 years has AD, MMD and high anxiety. She refuses to take walks, exercise of any form, stopped doing anything around the house, because of hip and knee replacements, cannot cook anymore because she can’t remember how. She constantly picks at me for how dirty the house is when I’ve cleaned it and how bad my…
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Over Stimulation
My DH son and girlfriend recently visited with their 2 year old grandson and he was SO loud and rambunctious. The next morning my DH didn't feel well, said he was cold (no fever) was stumbling and talking completely out of his head about something we couldn't understand. I think he lost most of the day. Later in the…
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From Maybe to Reality
Just need to share with someone who won't have to carry my burden…i.e. the kids. Twice within this week DH has told me he isn't thinking very well. It is possibly because he has been working on the taxes. I thought that he would be able to gather all the necessary paperwork this year and we planned on filling out the forms…
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F&$! Dementia
I sometimes have a mouth of a sailor, but seriously, to hell with this cruel disease. Woke up at 5am with poop all over the bathroom floor and it all over my DW’s legs. She’s so confused and doesn’t know why it’s happening. So bowel incontinence has started. I wish I could pull dementia out of her and kick its awful, mean…
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Social security disability claim denied
UPDATE 2/20/25: the local office was closed because of a snow storm (no more working from home I guess) so we called the national line and waited on hold for 2 hours (yes that’s right, can’t wait to see if AI decreases wait times in the future) just to find out that the person on the phone didn’t seem to be able to find…
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APHASIA the sadness of not being able to communicate
My DH is stage 5 or 6 dementia with very advanced APHASIA. Within himself and between us we are very happy but it’s so sad we often only communicate by touch, smiles and often single words. He was always a great talker and during the night or early morning he will have a great conversation with me and I often can’t…
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New to group any advice
don’t know if I’m even at the place I need to be🤷♀️. My husband was told 8 months ago he had Alzheimer’s. He refuses to talk about it or tell anyone. Actually he’s in denial and says he just missed a couple questions. Spend most of his day away from me,,, he can’t relax never could,, and it’s like he gonna show people…
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Compassionate Allowances Act (faster payment for SSDI)
I’ve noticed some people believe they have to wait the two year period to received SSDI for Alzheimer’s. This is not true. If you are denied, please contact social security and make sure you are being reviewed under compassionate allowances. Read below. Thankfully, since 2010 Social Security has helped by adding…
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My 93 Year Old Mom With Late Stage Dementia Broke Her Hip Yesterday
My 93 year old mom is in late stage dementia and broke her hip yesterday. She’s lived with me for 6 years and this is the first major issue that requires a hospital stay and potential surgery. I’m waiting to speak with the orthopedic doctor and get his recommendations on treatment. I feel so guilty about what has happened.…
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Mom broke her hip two days ago
This past Sunday, I got a call from my Mom's Memory care. She had fallen and they thought her hip was broken. She was sent ambulance to the nearest trauma center and it was determined she did indeed break her hip (femoral head). They did surgery the same day and replaced the femoral head. My Mom was fully ambulatory, and…
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Time for Part-Time In-Home Help?
My DH is stage 5 and digressing. I am looking for part-time in home help. I have Osteoarthritis in left knee and my stamina is not what it used to be. How do you determine when is the proper time and how much time? Does the in home help clean house, etc? I'm in the information gathering stage but realize it will be in the…