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Staying up late
My DW was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s about a month ago, pretty sure she’s at stage 4 . She recently started staying up until 2 or 3 am. I go to bed around 10:30. Then, I wake up around 6am, she wakes up around noon. Is this a common behavior?
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Nasty Comments
My wife is in stage 4 ALZ and is otherwise very healthy. So we are out and about and have a limited social life. Lately, if she is unhappy about something she is likely to make a snide comment to a friend or acquaintance. This is embarrassing for me and while I understand the cause it is annoying. Do others have this…
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I now realize how easy this disease can get it's two for one.
My immune system is more compromised than I realized and a second round of shingles seems to confirm that. Most of it is my fault as I don't know how to deal with the constant heartbreak and stress for so long other than taking things to the limit. I think I can handle this but in reality I really can't on my own. I think…
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So Where Do We Go From Here? This is an old thread revisited
Originally posted Jan 4. There's a number of us here dealing with spouses in stage 7 and a few folks still hanging out who are now in stage 8 (spouse has passed). I'm hanging in stage 7, my wife's in MC, so I have time to think about what's next, i.e, what am I gonna do when I'm in stage 8, and my spouse is no longer in my…
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DH seems to hate me now
DH diagnosed with vascular dementia in 2020 still drives well and manages independently but lately he refuses to return from our mountain cabin or even see me because he says I’m too controlling. It doesn’t matter what I do or say; he finds everything controlling. He’s essentially run away from home (with the dog). Is this…
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Shingles again so I can't see my DW
The MC said I need to stay away for a couple of weeks. My heart is heavy because of that. She will be all alone. Even though she doesn't know I'm there from one day to the next she still senses time between visits it seems. It's on my chest. Second time I've had it.
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I'm new here and I need help
Hi y'all! I'm having so much difficulty dealing with my husband's dementia symptoms. He's angry all the time! He apparently thinks that if I'm sick a day or two that I'm abusing him. Or if I don't necessarily like doing what he asked me to do, I'm abusing him! Or my latest favorite, because I didn't answer his 16 texts…
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It’s all too much
I’m so over whelmed. Our son passed away from a heart attack on Fathers Day 2021. We got a puppy in Jan 2022 and now my husband has been diagnosed with mixed dementia (vascular and Alzheimer’s). I’m still grieving the loss of my son and now this as well. How will I be able to do it all? Take care of my husband, the dog,…
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Memory care adjustment
Hello All. I am moving DH to memory care in 10 days. I am told by all to not tell him ahead of time where he is going. I agree that he would not go if he knew, but it also feels deceitful. Once he realizes where he is and I will leave him there, he will be hurt, confused and angry. Can anyone share their experience with…
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Bed wetting
I’m new to the group and appreciate any help. My husband is in mid to late dementia. He now wears depends day and night, but frequently goes to the toilet during the day to use it. Mostly successfully. At night he has been waking up at 2 or 3am with his pjs wet in back. I use a pad over the sheet and that is frequently wet…
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Update on MC placement
I have posted before on my placement of my dear sweet Tommy in memory care. It’s been 10 days now and according to the director there he is doing well. He says he has acclimated well and participates in all activities and lives to help with the others residents. He has not mentioned me in a week now. The doctor had told me…
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spouse aggression
A year and a half ago my DH was diagnosed with MCI (vascular), Two weeks ago my DH started screaming at me saying he didn't want to live here anymore, I didn't care about him. He screamed he was looking at NH, Maine, WY, SC, etc. I thought he was just blowing off steam but then I found detailed "to do" lists of selling the…
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My husband’s suffering is over
my husband Lonny is now guarding the Gates of Heaven. He served in the Marine Corps in Vietnam. He passed peacefully today. My heart is breaking but I’m thankful he’s no longer suffering. See you later LonHo!
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The End of Alzheimer's
Hello, i'm new here. Months ago, my husband asked if i'd research Alzheimer's for him. He's noticing some congnitive decline. i resisted but then this book came to me: "The End of Alzheimer's" by Dr. Dale E. Bredesen. i read it and am 1/2 through his next book: "The End of Alzheimer's Program". i'm wondered if anyone here…
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Aphasia
Hi all, Though I had seen some things early that concerned me about my DWs brain health, the thing that really stood out about her cognitive decline was a moment when she went from being able to speak, to suddenly unable to find words. She may have had slight word-finding issues earlier, but they all seemed like early…
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Medicaid
Does anyone know about Medicaid in Ohio My dh had Medicare and insurance. We have only been married 5 years. I had the house before we were married. Will they use this as his income? Yes I know I should speak to eldercare lawyer but they are so expensive.
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Driving while impaired
There are two ladies in my support group who, being unwilling to confront the issue, still let their husbands drive. At the last meeting, they both admitted that they were starting to look into memory care facilities. They do know that their husbands won't be able to drive once they're admitted, right? It's actually…
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Hitting and imaginary person
My bf 45 eoa has been hitting, punching, squeezing his hand so hard that he is bruised and swollen sometimes. He ia convinced that it is someone else. He said "this is me, mine" about his right hand. "Thats hlm, that's not mine" about his left hand. This "person" takes his things and hides them. He has been on olanzapine…
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Mover closer?
Hi, I may have posted this earlier in a wrong or little visited place so I', posting here too hoping for some advice from those who have experienced this. Short back story, my wife has been in memory care in Fresno Ca. for 2 1/2 years. Her son lives seven miles from where she is and sees her twice a week. She is currently…
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I just need to say...
Making a king-sized bed by yourself, with all the protective layers, and a tired husband who keeps trying to climb on before you're done, is a pain in the rear. No need to reply - you know it's true. Goodnight friends.
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Increased hallucinations while on hospice
Wondering and thinking out loud. Since being on hospice for a week the hospice doctor changed much her medications. The ones she was on the doctor said they don't really help and actually increase anxiety and agitation so my DW was placed on a different regimen of meds. While I agree with the assessment I'm wondering if…
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Rough night
I have been dealing with DH with FTD. I think it has been a slow decline with behavioral variant since 2009. My daughter is now 14. I have raised three teens alone through this. He talks to himself daily, screams and yells, hides or loses items and think there are "others" sabotaging his life. We are honestly very use to…
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I just don’t know?!?!
Enjoying dinner with former work friends tonight! Oh my such a wonderful, full of belly laughs time. Paying bill, ready to go and friend says isn’t that your husband coming over? Well I was dumbfounded! Apparently he was sitting at the bar drank not sure if he ate and staggered over when he was leaving! Friends were great…
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Feeling guilty about hospice and husband passing away
My wonderful husband passed away August 3rd. I miss him terribly. He was 71, and he had been diagnosed with early onset Alzheimer’s about 9 years ago. He also had diabetes and vascular dementia, along with some other health issues. I am fortunate that I was able to keep him home the whole time, and I was able to work ( I…
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Elopement and MC Assessment
My DH had a MC assessment today and things were going ok until the elopement question. Does your DH wander? I told the truth that occasionally he wanders (with me following him). I told them that DH wandered last week at night. They asked if I was able to bring him home and I told them I had to call the police for an…
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Meds for Spouses?
Sorry - kind of long but looking for advice for how to manage my own emotions. My 68 year old DH - probably stage 5-6- was placed 3 months ago due to aggression, high anxiety, not sleeping, wandering, and extreme agitation. New meds, the skill of the MC nurses, and the fact that he can wander about the hallways and talk to…
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Testing MRI with contrast dye?
my DH is supposed to have 4 MRIs today— one with contrast dye. I’m reading about possible problems for elderly patients with dementia and/or heart disease with the contrast dye…he’s frail and I don’t want to put him through nausea/rashes/increased cognitive issues —- I’m thinking of having him do only the three MRIs…
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Humor even in the late stages
My son and I share a penchant for really bad jokes. I heard three last night on a TV show (see below), and I sent them to him with the predictable response. I thought about telling them to my partner—but then I thought no, she probably wouldn't get the punch lines. But: she was having a really good day today, was actually…
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Memory Care or Keep trying at home
Is there some magic way to know when the time is right to have your loved one in a Memory Care Facility? A tipping point? I don't want to, for some reason. But I'm exhausted . I feel it would be more for me than him if he went there. Is that the right reason? He is still considered early stage. But the care needed is…
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What if money tight
What are your options if you financially can’t afford care at a facility??