-
a move to MC and the end
My DH went to MC recently and the emptiness set in. Such an uncomfortable feeling to not have him home. I looked forward to going to see him everyday. I think he did know me,,,i would sit with him (barely mobile anymore) and I’d “visit” with little response, but it felt good to hold his hand, tell him i Loved him, get a…
-
New and struggling
This is my first post. Not sure what to expect, but here it goes. My wife recently received a diagnosis of psychosis and vascular dementia, moderate with agitation. The agitation is mostly direct d towards me because she seems to view me as the villain of her story out to get her. It's led to some troubling behavior,…
-
Unanswerables
I have been keeping a list for a while as DW loses her expressive vocabulary and keeps asking incomplete questions or making incomplete statements. I’ve learned not to probe too much for clarification as the thought probably evaporated before she could repeat it. when are they getting these things? could I have a full? are…
-
Homeowners insurance
Hi there! I've attended a few in-person support groups, but just learned about the online forum. So happy to join this community! My LO (mother) recently had her drivers license revoked and is worried / fixated that her homeowners insurance will go up if the carrier finds out about her diagnosis. (It's bundled with her car…
-
Cell phone use
I’m not sure what I am looking for so I’ll just type and see what I get. DH has a cell phone, he looks at the new on it, answers calls if he happens to hear them, reads texts if he happens to notice them. I pick it up periodically and say “ you missed a call ( or text) from x”. Then he will look at, maybe return a call,…
-
Lost worried and scared
Hello everyone new here. I have some questions and would love some input. My mother was diagnosed with dementia after a very bad TBI, I have been her only care giver for almost 3 years. Meds have been changing and it don’t seem like anything is helping anymore. Recently in the last couple months now I can hardly get her to…
-
Angry outbursts
Where to start? My husband who just turned 79 went from a very physically fit 76 year old to an angry man who can barely walk. He has some memory problems but not that bad. Because he can barely walk and has frozen feet a lot he has very angry outbursts. He gets up in the morning mad, he’s mad at god, mad at me, and mad in…
-
Doesn't want my help.
Just wondering how you all handel something like this. My DW is a very stubborn person. All I want to do is offer my help but she gets offended and calls herself stupid. She is very confused with any tech stuff. If I offer help on anything there is a big crying seen and telling me she's just to stupid. Then she gets mad at…
-
Strategies for getting LO to MC
As I look to the future, I am wondering how those of you who have placed your LO in MC have physically gotten them to go. Did you tell fiblets to get them there? Did you have a group go? We have no children to help. Thanks.
-
Medicaid
I am going to have to start the process of getting my husband on medicaid and he still is mostly able to understand a conversation but forgets pretty quickly. So I want to tell him why I am gathering so much information but I don't know how to do this without upsetting him. I am so torn with guilt and I know my mom felt…
-
My sister has dementia and is an alcoholic
My sister is approaching stage 6 dementia. She lives by herself. She is losing weight . She's not taking her meds every day unless I give them to her. I live 40 minutes away. She will not leave her home. She needs to be in assisted living. What can I do? I need legal advice. Can anyone help me?
-
Say What???
My DH is struggling with words. I've started a list to help track his decline. When he watches TV, he pauses the program and then fast forwards through the commercials. Yesterday he called this, "cutting the in betweens."
-
Maybe I’m trying too hard?
Yesterday my DH (mid-stage 6) seemed restless and bored, so we took a trip to a car museum. After we toured the museum for a bit, I noticed he wasn’t paying much attention to the cars. He was more interested in seeing my reaction to the cars and matching his reaction to mine. On the way home from the museum we stopped for…
-
jury duty
My wife, who is in stage 5/6 dementia, recently received a jury duty summons. Initially, I felt overwhelmed by the additional stress it brought, and I was tempted to ignore the summons. After taking some time to cool off, I wrote a courteous letter explaining my wife's health condition and, in response, received a call…
-
New diagnosis for my DW
My wife was diagnosed about a couple weeks ago with Alzheimer's. She had been exhibiting obvious symptoms since mid-2020, though, could've had some earlier that were attributed to aging. So, I am at a loss as to where to begin care taking and how to plan for the days to come. Is there any place to look for these? Humbly,…
-
when DH imagines things
Any experience with the proper response when my DH says "there is someone else in the house". (There is no one else here, and it is very rare that someone would be here.) If I answer with truth, "no one else is here - just you, me, and the dogs", am I making him feel dumb in that moment? OR should I say something like…
-
for M1
crayons (broken please) ...large plain paper...colored paper...glue stick
-
Behavioral Change and Meds
My DW entered a MCF 4 months ago following a two week stay in a Geri-Psych. She did well for three months but just spent another two weeks in a Geri-Psych because of behavioral problems again. She has a very bad UTI, which got cleared up while she was in the hospital. Since returning to the MCF her behaviors have not…
-
Needing to Take a Break from Support Group
For three years I have attended a weekly in person support group that has been educational and supportive. My 86 year old DH is probably mid stage—memory is the biggest issue. There hasn’t been incontinence yet nor wandering and he is basically a sweet agreeable person (mostly because I learned from the support group how…
-
Shaking, rigidity, and profuse sweating
We spent the morning in the ER because overnight my husband had 4 episodes where he was shaking so hard, holding his limbs rigidly, and eventually sweating like crazy. No fever. Just got over covid (no real symptoms left...not even a cough). At the ER they did labs, pushed some fluids, and did a chest xray. Nothing. They…
-
Moving on
My husband of 34 years is going into memory care tomorrow. This is the last night he will spend in the house we built together. The last 3 weeks have been hell -- so while I feel a little odd about it, I'm looking forward to moving all of his stuff to the basement and claiming the house as my own. I'll get a new mattress…
-
Live in NJ whom do I contact to find out what I’m entitled to for home care visits in future?
I f don’t want someone NOW to sit with wife as at this point would really put over edge. Has anosognosia bad. But how’s this work as should I contact an agency and just belong until I need them. ? Need help on this one. Don’t need Medicade at this point as she’s staying at home. This is NJ
-
Hoping for some input.
DH is doing really well since discharge from hosp. The exception has been the driving issue which at times results in some occasional major outbursts which we just struggle through. Thankfully it was I that picked up the mail when the letter from the registry came in yesterday asking him to surrender his license. My plan…
-
DW rejecting outside caregiver
My wife has mixed dementia (vascular and alzheimers) secondary to juvenile diabetes. She is stage 5 and has had a recent significant decline. We have had an outside caregiver for about 2 years. The caregiver stays with my wife for 4 hours once or twice a week. Over the last month or two, my wife has become convinced that…
-
horny
This is extremely awkward and uncomfortable for me to write about, but here goes. We've been married for 47 years, and we're in our 70's. In more recent years, sexual relations were minimal, and that didn't bother me particularly. I think the same was true for DW. About a year ago, DW suddenly stated that she was…
-
Elder Care Lawyer Meeting
Thanks everyone for swaying me toward this meeting solo. The lawyer did say first meeting in person should be with me alone. I have to say, I’m still so terrified. I need back up and don’t have it. It will be a lot of money (650 for 90 mins 1st meeting and then 15,000.00 for short term protection of assets) Can someone…
-
A really good guy during a really bad day
I talked about this guy once before on here. Very early yesterday morning we lost another child. My daughter, who was staying with me temporarily, since she was not able to walk the stairs up to her apartment, passed away. Right at midnight I heard her calling for help. It seemed she was coming out of the bathroom, and…
-
A dumb question????
I get bogged down with this one. Is it reasonable/realistic to hope that the right med regimen will end aggression and delusions? I’ve been assuming there will always be some? DH’s latest med changes have helped but the delusions are still there. I want to do whatever I can to stay on top of things and not wait til things…
-
When do you actually know when not to leave them alone anymore
My daughter wanted me to ask Nurologist this question, now understand, as I'm sure i mentioned, my wife was diagnosed 15 months ago moderate onset dementia she is fine with EVERYTHING but no driving, doesn't have any desire to cook, has short term memory , repeats same stories you all get it and gets confused easy will…
-
I just wanted to have some freedom for a few hours and he was grieved
Yesterday, I proposed to my DH for us to visit a "senior center" so that we could meet other people and socialize. He was extremely resistant. I tried a different tactic and said then I would bring someone in to stay with his 4 hours a week while I spent some time with girlfriends. He didn't understand why he couldn't go…