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Re-arranging the furniture in my head
My DH has been so angry and almost downright abusive in the last few weeks that we are considering placement in MC. It is such a tough call, but I realize that being ruled by the fear of what he might do next is not a tenable position. Neither is walking on eggshells. I have begun to realize that I am acting out of fear a…
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The Train Rumbles On
Since I placed my DW in MC two days ago I've realized just how strong the bubble of stress we live in day and day out, year after year is. We are always under stress with no escape from it. It almost becomes background noise. It's always there but we are so used to it that it's like living next to the railroad tracks. At…
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Medications?
I hope I have the right group, if not I apologize. My husband, diagnosed 6 years ago, has suddenly descended into Stage 6.5 Alzheimer's. He requires full time care, but up until 2 weeks ago he was still fairly coherent and responsive. He is now under Hospice care here in our home, and because he has begun to be highly…
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Handling unwarranted anger at others
My DH was upset because a truck/trailer working on a house a couple doors down was parked in front of our house. I explained that we don't own the street but, of course, that doesn't work. I was concerned that he was going to complain to them but so far he hasn't. How should I handle this if he does go and complain? Tips…
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Overnight report for first night in MC.
Last night was my DW's first night in MC and received a message a few minutes ago that she had a good night, made a new friend and they are together now. Such a relief to hear.
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Proposal to enlarge Alzheimer's classification
Here is a preview of something we may see in the near future. The Alzheimer's Association International Conference was held in August 2023 in Amsterdam. It's National Institute on Aging - Alzheimer's Association Working Group came up a proposal that could make a big difference in treatments. Quoting from the Los Angeles…
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Update: Progression
Thank you everyone for your thoughts, advice, and support. This forum is amazing. The update: at his doc appointment this morning, he tested positive for covid. I still firmly believe there's some progression but I (and his pcp) think the agression last week was probably a result of him feeling lousy and not being able to…
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I'm new here and I want out...: (
DH diagnosed one month ago and our lives are out of control. I am the caregiver, now only driver, home caretaker, as well as the target of his anger, rage, distrust, you name it. Not sure what to do, where to start. I dont even know this person really...and I now realize thats been going on for years. Here I thought we…
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Cleanliness, hygiene
So today has been tough. Everyday is a a fight about getting going, and cleanliness. He woke up early...8 ish...sister coming for lunch at noon so I could check out some things elsewhere. He didn't change his depends(always new sweats and depends are laid out for him), and then I could not get him to take a shower (last…
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Can he come home?
My sweet, loving husband (74 years old, late stage 5) came down with pneumonia last week and had to be taken to the emergency room. He experienced an emotional break and became violent to the point of breaking out of the restraints and having to be wrestled back by security. This continued for four days in the ER. The…
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Behaviors that are just slightly annoying
I thought it might be interesting to get your input on one or two of YOUR spouse’s behaviors that are just cute or a tiny bit annoying (not worth making a fuss about). I’d love to read them to see if some of my DH’s behaviors are common or unique to him. #1 EVERY TIME he walks past the trash can, he puts his hand in and…
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Two comorbidities- Alzheimer’s and Leukemia
Just as I was in the process of relocating , and setting s deadline of placing DH in memory care , the hematologist has offered a treatment for DH that would give him a 50/50 chance of remission. Problem is DH is stage 6 and does not even realize he has cancer. Yes the trestment has side effects which cciukf Aldo advance…
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Public restroom use
When there is no family restroom available and my DH uses the men's room, it often takes him an eternity. I get worried and anxious. When he finally emerges he'll tell me that he had a lot of poop and it took forever to clean up. Is there any appropriate way for me to help him in a public restroom?
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Article on discrimination against caregivers - Stigma and worse
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Friday 9:30A
Officially moving DW to MC. Bittersweet. Looking forward to being alone, I have lots of good friends so I won't be completely alone. Coming and going when I want. Want to go flyfishing again or just stand by a stream and listen to the water and the wind in trees. I've been down this dementia road for a long time so in all…
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Yet another post on driving…
I’m getting no where on this. This in a way is another vent . I’m at wits end. I’m looking for a magic answer where there isn’t one. Searching anyway. Since DH was discharged from hospital he has been doing so much better. At the time of hospitalization I thought he was stage 5. He is back to maybe mid stage 4. But he has…
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No empathy for years and then it appears
My DH has never had alot of compassion or shown much empathy to me or anyone else. I have learned to live with it. On Tuesday, we had to put our dog to sleep. My DH did not want to be there so my son took him to lunch and a haircut. I was worried he would be asking me where our fur Baby was over and over. Instead, he not…
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Laundry smell
So, some background. Last night I went out for two hours with two friends, their husbands too DH out. We all had a bite ti eat. The guys were great and out my DH in the middle so he would always be part of the conversation, they took him home when we started to seem anxious and texted us when they were headed home. He got…
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How to better model MC for introverts? Because it's not.
Yesterday was SUCH a weird vibe day that I didn't even have time to worry about Valentine's Day. I frequently go for lunch. My partner does not like to sit with other residents, but they won't let her eat in her room. So she usually just sits at the kitchen bar, which is fine---but I was so aware yesterday that it's loud,…
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Lost weight and appetite change
My DH is on 10 mg Donepezil and Zoloft 50 mg that was just added 2 months ago. He has improved and so much easier for me. Shadowing improved some and anxiety too. He never argues and just goes with the flow. Although I am noticing his appetite has changed and is losing weight. He will not eat unless I put in front of…
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DH may need knee surgery
My 78 year old DH with MCI has been getting injections in his knee for several years. The injections have not given him much relief lately. He had meniscus tear repair 5 years ago and he feels it was not completely healed. He was very active guy and difficult to keep him down while healing. Has anyone LO been through this…
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I think I’m losing it…..
My DH constantly moves things. Tonight, for the last 3 hours he hasn’t stopped. Phone chargers, clocks, hair dryer anything. He then denies moving things as he can’t remember. I’m just so tired of living like this knowing it can go on for years. I think he is early stage 5. He doesn’t recognize being married, asks about…
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Placing thing in odd spots
DH had a bad night last night. He was up ALL night. Around 4am I finally had had it and went to sleep in the spare room. 7am I was awoken by the door alarm going off. He was trying to escape out the back door. As I walked around the house I was finding the kitchen chairs in the living room, comforter on the stairs, every…
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walking on eggshells~
I am finding that I have to be so careful how I say things or react to things. It will take nothing for my DH to make a rapid turn to thinking I'm angry at him or that I don't want to be around him. Two examples: I asked him to feed the dogs. He seems to get confused about how to do what he's done a million times. When he…
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Question of the day...with a hint of a smile
I thought sundowning was something that happens to the loved one, not the caretaker...I seem to be sundowning alot these days!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Best. Kathy
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Opposite Shadowing
I read about shadowing a lot, but my DH is constantly trying to get rid of me. He’s always asking me if I’m going to go upstairs soon. It’s like he doesn’t want me around. He is way beyond apathetic, not interested in anything but watching TV and going for a ride as long as he’s driving. He’s constantly makes snide remarks…
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Everyone else has the cure…
When someone with no experience with dementia comes to me with the latest cure for my DH diagnosis of EO Alz I always thank them for thinking of us. I know they mean well. Sometimes it gets old~ I know have an in-law that means well, even if she hasn’t had a relationship with her brother for most of their adult lives, but…
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Update
I had surgery on my right wrist and elbow on Jan. 12. On Jan. 19, DH came down with pneumonia and was in the hospital for four days. During that time, he became so weak he could not stand without assistance. The Dr. told me I could not take him home as he would need more care than I could provide. On Jan. 23 he was…
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Seroquel
Okay, got the 25 mg prescription. I guess it's best to take at night?
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Gross behaviors ?
So random and maybe not such a big thing, but I am having difficulty accepting some of DH behaviors that I find downright gross! Scratching his head and then wiping off the flakes all over himself, kitchen table, floor! Using a tissue and leaving it on the counter or end table! Or not using a tissue but his finger and…