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Safety when cooking
My 76 yr. old DH is becoming more and more forgetful. He has several of the symptoms of cognitive impairment. He hasn't been tested or diagnosed yet but agreed to have me attend his next medical appt. in February. I've told him I'm noticing more instances of forgetfulness, which he'll accept for the moment, but doesn't…
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Alprazolam
Need some thoughts and input. My DH’s psychiatrist prescribed alprazolam. Everything I’ve read recently indicates that it should never be used for dementia as it can make symptoms worse. His primary care and neurologist have had no concerns about it. It has always worked real well for him with a nice calming affect.…
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The struggle with acceptance and clarity about dementia's effects on our lives
What do you think it's about - what makes it feel hard even while in the early phases of dementia when your spouse/partner can still take care of their ADLs and still communicate somewhat? I need help finding words to describe or explain - what is this nebulous sense of enormous change in our lives? It feels seismic even…
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PWD perception of family
During the past few months my DH has started being really critical and nasty talking about some members of my family. My dad is 99 and I do try to give him 3-4 hours of my time once a week. I also call him once a day. DH doesn’t understand why I have to give him so much of my time and seems to really resent it. He also at…
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For each of you
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Are you Serious?
Hi Kindred Caregivers, I just called a local senior living facility to inquire about respite care. After all, it is a new year and it would be nice to consider taking a break from caregiving, use some vacation time from work, and actually just go somewhere to unwind. The facility I called is close to home, and here in the…
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How Busy Is Too Busy?
My 64 year old wife is fairly recently diagnosed and we are slowly working on getting in place various things we have to do to cope and keep her healthy and happy. Lots of recommendations for activities: social outings, cognitive games, exercise, etc. Also, getting a respite care provider so that I can get out sometimes…
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A simple but profound thought
I am reading a book "Calm My anxious heart" by Linda Dillow. So far it is great. One statement she made might help all of us: "Two women are looking through prison bars. One sees mud and the other sees stars." I am so struggling to see those stars but I keep trying. Hope this helps someone.
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What to say so I don't trigger worse reaction
My DH and I went home for Christmas for a couple of days to visit my family. Every day before we left he asked multiple times when we were going and I would answer with how many more days before we leave. We flew up there, had a nice Christmas (only a few instances where I had to calm him down in the hotel) and flew home.…
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For wose
I am sorry to see that you have edited out your posts. I hope you did not feel personally attacked, that was no one's intent; I and I am sure others are worried about you and what sounds like a volatile situation. This is such a difficult road under the best of circumstances. Hope you will continue to read and come back.
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Not sure how to handle my situation!
My DH has ALZ 6 years, I think stage 6. Since the end of Nov 2023, he has not been recognizing me all the time, especially late afternoon “sundowning.” He thinks I am someone else and asks what is my name, where do I live, how will I get home, etc. because his wife or mother may not approve of me being there. I feel like…
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Pets and dementia
https://www.goodnewsnetwork.org/owning-pets-helps-stave-off-dementia-for-people-over-50-living-on-their-own/
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What to Make of Improvements to Cognition and Incontinence
Today a dear friend visited DH and confirmed what MCF staff also reported recently, that DH's cognition has improved greatly, almost like talking to a normal person, and no longer needs/wants to wear Depend. His long-term memory is very much in tact while short-term was impressive as well. He even noticed my name on the…
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Getting closer and closer to placement every day.
I've been putting this off for as long as possible thinking I might be able to endure until the end. Maybe once we get past stage 6 things will quiet down. My DW is now dbl incontinent. Then like a switch was turned on she won't go to bed until 1 or 2 in the morning now. I have to get up every hour and make sure she hasn't…
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pwl
Thanks. This is terrible. Most lonely and depressing thing I've ever dealt with. She constantly rants about things that happened 40 and 50 years ago. Same speeches every time. Over and over all day. How do you continue to love someone that hates you so much. The only peace is when one of our sons are here or she is asleep.…
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Well and truly scared
I did not get a good report yesterday, it looks like I might be headed for open heart surgery, possibly even before Christmas. Specifically a pulmonary endarterectomy, which is a relatively rare procedure. Recovery will be similar to coronary artery bypass, no driving for six weeks. That's daunting when i live 13 miles…
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Thank You
I forget to say Thank You to everyone for the support 💙
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My husband cannot sit still
My husband was diagnosed with Alzheimer's a year ago. He is constantly "rearranging" kitchen cabinets, garage shelves, etc. It seems like he cannot sit still and tends to overdo it every day. Suggestions?
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Selfish post
I know this might sound like I'm only thinking of myself but I really am having a bad day of my own. I've been taking care of her for years, the constant shadowing, racking my brain trying to interpret everything she's telling me and she won't shut up, not for a minute, the never ever ending drama, the crying, the yelling,…
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Not my home
How do you make your DW aware that you are fighting to keep them out of an institution and keep them home and t hey are making that very difficult?
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How did you know, it is time for him to move?
Hello everyone, I am new here. My DH has been diagnosed with Alz almost two years back. It is being quite a journey. His cognition has declined considerable since then. I feel quite lost. I have tried to take care of him by myself this whole time. It is just the two of us. My family does not live in the country. He has…
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Husband's First Car Accident in His Life
My husband was diagnosed with Early Onset AD six months ago. He is still working but is planning to retire in about six months. He had the first car accident in his life last week. The details are not clear, but it is likely he pulled out in front of the other driver. He says he is not ready to stop driving and since I had…
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At what point do you say this illness starts??
What I’m asking is my wife diagnosed officially 14 months ago so is that when you say the onset started? Or when you start remembering when you noticed changes?
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Hat's off!!!
Sitting and thinking how many of you are in your 80's and even 90's possibly and you are taking care of a DH or DW with dementia and "everything" that comes with it and you are killing it! (in a good way) I'm 62 and this is kicking my arse!! I know what you are dealing with and have nothing but respect for all of you!!…
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Is it Alzheimer's?
A good read; Alzheimer's vs. Dementia. What's the difference? (msn.com)
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Feeling Conflicted and Guilty about moving on…
My wife is in the mid to later stages of AZ and is struggling to communicate, she sits quietly most of the time. In addition to AZ she has a genetic eye defect that is incurable, she is legally blind and needs help with everything. I am her caregiver and have given up most of my exercise and outdoor activities to support…
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Dumbest or most inappropriate thing someone has said to you or your LOWD
Okay, let's find a way to get a chuckle out of the inappropriate and ridiculous comments people make to either us about our LO, or directly to our LO. Here's a couple from my list Well they don't just tell you he has FTD and send you home, there's something they can do for it You should probably hurry and get a divorce so…
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Clinical Trial?
Just received a phone call about two clinical trials. Apparently (will call neurologist tomorrow- office closed now) his neurologist gave his name as a candidate for the trial. He had done a previous clinical trial that only involved him giving blood so I guess that indicated a willingness to be part of a trial. First— a…
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This is not my home
My wife periodically will ask when I'm taking her home. If I say that she is home she calls me a liar and everything else in the book. Becomes very nasty and rants incessantly all day. I've tried everything I can think of but when that starts nothing works Usually lasts a couple days with no sleep. I can handle the memory…