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SNF vs MC
I'm curious about the difference in the level of care between a skilled nursing facility and a memory care facility. I think my confusion is because MC counts as assisted living and I'm concerned that's not sufficient. My husband needs help with all ADLS and must be supervised at all times. To get him to eat, I need to…
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How did you find a therapist qualified to help a caregiver cope with partner's dementia?
I have reached the point where I need help. I feel that I am falling apart. There is absolutely no time when I can just sit and be me - you know, have a cup of coffee and look at the paper, or take a little nap when I am tired, or even read a book. My DH was controlling before he got sick, and now it seems that he needs to…
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I think I need a new script...
As background, my DH and I traveled a great deal over our many years as a couple, often visiting his family who live halfway around the world from us. In the last few months, he seems fixated on travel. He keeps saying he wants to do it "before he dies" or "Don't you have a 'bucket list' of things you want to do before you…
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A happy
My Mom's vase, and fresh tulips. All my best. Back to sleep.
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Declutter- how much is to much
As things progress, my daughters and I have been slowly declutterring. There is a large amount of clothing that is no longer worn or worn out. We go through and slowly remove the excess and worn items. My wife is down to a few pair of pants and tops/sweaters she wears all the time. We have several identical pairs of pants,…
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today's delusion
So, recently DW has been talking about how I've been away and she has lived alone for a long time. Today that switched(?), and she told me she had gone away. At first it sounded like she meant she had gone away for many days, but it morphed into just today. She didn't know where, why, or how she went away. She said there…
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In better times #2
We had a thread like this a few years ago. It was very popular. Post a pic of your LO during better times. I'll get it started. For some reason it gets blurry when I post it. This is Carole.
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How to get acclimated to the decline
My DH has been in what I think is a pretty steep decline lately where he can't remember something literally right after we talk about it. So therefore each question is repeated a gazillion times. I always felt that I was adapting to his changes okay, but I find myself getting much more emotional and irritable than I have…
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Adult Foster Care
I’m in Massachusetts caring for LO with Alzheimer’s full time. He’s got Medicaid and is almost approved for Adult Foster Care (AFC) which means I’d be paid a non-taxable stipend to care for him. He was evaluated as needing level II care which means he needs help with two or more ADLs and behavioral supervision. Please…
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I am a ……….
DH is unhappy with me because I made him take a shower. He said that I am a real pest. Being a well trained, knowledgeable caregiver I acknowledged his feelings and responded “yes, I’m a real hemorrhoid.” He promptly agreed with me. How is that for positive reaffirming communication?
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Leaving LO alone on the caregivers side
Wow. I woke up an hour or so ago (4AM), and thought...what would happen if something unexpected happens to me? We live alone, the two of us. What if I got in an accident while picking up groceries, what if I fall down the stairs and the EMTs come and talk to Tim...but no one else. My physically close family have keys. I…
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My heart hurts. . .
Now that I've placed my DW in MC after so many years of living in her world, day in and day out, 24/7/365 I thought I'd feel "free" now and in some ways I do but I miss her so much more than I thought I would. She's doing pretty well there and for some reason that breaks my heart even more. That she doesn't really know…
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Has anyone heard from Jo C.?
I hope she's doing OK.
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The fine art of complaining by King Boo
https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/155111#Comment_155111?utm_source=community-search&utm_medium=organic-search&utm_term=King+Boo
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rolling my eyes, talking to myself
When DW repeats herself; or says "Maybe you told me this, but I can't remember"; or says "Sorry to interrupt"; or "Did you know?"; or "Do you remember?", I say to myself, "Yes", or, "Oh please, not again!", and I roll my eyes when DW isn't looking. It's a minor way to vent without getting angry with her.
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Update: Am I going crazy?
I want to thank everyone here for all the kindness and concern. It restores my feeling of being part of this strange thing called the human race. I have learned so much from you. Things have taken a turn that I think might be informative for all of us. I have pasted it as an answer to some of you but thought it better to…
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First signs of trouble, concerns at MC
Was there at the MC checking on my DW and I noticed she had soiled herself so I took her to her room, cleaned and changed her but when I was cleaning her I noticed some fairly significant skin breakdowns between her cheeks. Her pants and shirt were wet so I went to change those and there were no clean clothes in her room…
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Medicaid divorce
Someone suggested that I get a medicaid divorce to protect my assets and qualify my DH for medicaid. Has anyone ever done this or is it an obsolete idea?
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In a safe place
DH lost his wedding rings about 6 weeks ago. We searched every place possible without success. Yesterday they mysteriously showed up. They had been in a very safe place……………inside his Bible. 😇 Ah, bless his heart.
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Boorriinnggg
Boredom has become a big issue with my LO. She has no interest in any of her previous interests. (My teacher aunt would kill me for that sentence). Early on there were long walks on the local beach, visiting local attractions, she had an interest in cake decorating (took several courses with granddaughter, best part was…
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Startling Behaviour
So - my DH (probably at Stage 4 or 5- hard to tell for sure) is in the car with me after we picked up our 10 year old granddaughter from school. There was a lot more traffic than usual, and suddenly he started trying to get out of the car because he had a job to do to save a bus. I talked him down until we dropped off our…
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angel neighbor
[Sorry, this is a bit long.] I had minor outpatient surgery last week. (I'm fine, thanks.) When I made the surgery appointment, I was comfortable leaving DW alone in the house. However, within the subsequent two weeks she has reached a stage where she got very anxious if I were not home and fearful she would never see me…
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New to this
I'm new to this forum New to the world of caring for a spouse with Dementia. We are just beginning our journey. Is there someone who is also just beginning? My spouse still does all his own ADLs. His deficit is remembering and language. He is aware his memory is fading and it frustrates him. He can no longer carry on a…
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Alzheimer's or severe PTSD
Hi, Not sure if my wife is getting Alzheimer's or what I know her Grandmother had it. She comes up with delusional thoughts that my parents hate her and conspired with her daughter to ruin her through Tik Tok and just makes up things that are not true. Any thoughts?
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Anyone else here with hypoglycemia?
The reason I'm writing about this is if you do have hypoglycemia, and you have Medicare A&B, a CGM (continuous glucose monitor) is now covered. After spending a few days in the hospital because I was not having symptoms when I had low blood sugar (dangerous), my doctor was trying to get a special consideration for coverage…
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The whole cloak-and-dagger thing is getting to me: a vent
I am so grateful to have this place to just get all of these worries out of my head while I'm among friends, so to speak. At this point we have put my DH on the waitlist for a MC we have chosen. We have been told that we are second in line for a spot there. It had been a long, hard road for me to get to this point. He has…
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Almost Lost it This AM
So sometime during the night LO got up to use bathroom. This morning I go to his room to get him ready for his shower. Walk in the bathroom and it is wet. I thought maybe an accident. Then I hear the water running in one of the sinks; it had been on for who knows how long. The entire bathroom was flooded! I just stood…
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How to get my DH to accept a caregiver while I am getting a break
First of all, thank you all so much for giving me wake-up advice last week about getting out for a break. I really needed it. I love that you all are brutely honest in a loving way and get me to think a different way. I am truly the frog in the boiling water and didn't realize just how complacent I have been, not wanting…
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Constantly crying
Hi I’m new to this group and also new to being a caregiver to my wife who has been diagnosed with YOAD. She seems to just start crying. This happens a few times a day. I will take her in my arms to comfort her. When I ask her why she is crying, every time she says she doesn’t know. I want to be there for her but feel so…
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Lost rings
DH lost his wedding rings about 6 weeks ago. We searched and searched without success. Mysteriously they appeared today. DH found them in a very safe place ……… his Bible.😇