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I still have guilt
I have not been on this site for quite some time. My dh has been in mc for just over a year. His short term memory is horrible but I still keep having thoughts of bringing him home. The mc staff are great and he goes on an occasional outing to get ice cream or some sort of treat. He is still high functioning. He saw a…
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My MIL died
It has been a long time since I've updated information about my MIL. As some of you may remember the two of us haven't had the best relationship over the past 2 decades since I've been with my DH. I forbid her from coming to our house after she accused me of stealing her deceased husband's Rolex watch, slapping me and…
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Moving with LO
After much thought, I have decided that we need to move about 200 miles away to where my son, DIL and granddaughter live. My DH has been cranky, not to say downright cantankerous about the whole thing. Today, for example, he told me we should have discussed this more (have been thinking of selling this house for 5 years).…
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Support Groups for Younger Onset
Hello. I just joined this forum and am looking for a younger onset support group for my DH, who was diagnosed with vascular demetia at 62 and will be 65 this year. He currently belongs to a support group that meets twice a month, once on zoom and once in-person. All the other participants in the group are at least 10+…
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It's all in how we react - A funny story
One skill I learned as DH declined was to agree to whatever he said without argument. He said he was driving home? I said of course he was. But then drove when we got in the car because by then he'd forgotten what he said. He said that dragons flew over our house last night? I said, "Really? I thought I heard something!"…
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Are you taking advantage of home health services you are entitled to?
My guess is that some of you may not be. https://www.elderlawanswers.com/home-health-services-underutilized-by-seniors-study-shows-19833
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Advice for physical set up of home as disease progresses
My DH is stage 6, and I can see the day approaching when we will have to make changes to our home for him. We have a 2 story cottage with a first-floor full bath and office. We have a full set of stairs to the second floor with a walk-in shower on level 2. We have 4 steps from our outside porch to the side walk. He weighs…
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Who Do I Tell?
Actually I want to tell everyone. I want to because it explains a lot. I want to because I don't want to feel alone. I want to so those that care will understand that NOW is important. I want to tell some strangers he deals with so they'll have more patience. But there is a stigma about it isn't there? I've already…
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New discussion by chochee Creed
I'm taking care of myself as best as I can I'm not able to sleep because I can't find out how my husband is doing and it's driving me crazy I wish they would just let me know how he is everyone says I was mean to him but I'm the one that took care of him people where I live can tell you I was never mean to him the vascular…
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Newly Adult Children
I’ve tried to talk to our 19 year old daughter about DH’s dementia but not very successfully. She’s been living on her own only since September and we moved to another state. She just doesn’t show any reaction really and doesn’t reach out to either of us. I get that she’s probably overwhelmed or doesn’t know what to say to…
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Depakote & Seroquel
My husband is already on Depakote and will also be starting on Seroquel. Anyone with experience having a loved one taking the combination of both? "Using divalproex sodium together with QUEtiapine may increase side effects such as dizziness, drowsiness, confusion, and difficulty concentrating. Some people, especially the…
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Aggression During Hygiene Care
Today I got a call from the MCF asking for permission to contact DH's doctor to address DH's aggression when staff tries to change him when he has soiled his Depends and pants, and when it's time to shower or shave, even worse when they try to take the soiled clothing to laundry. My stomach is all knotted up again. I can't…
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Who's advocating for cameras/audio in care homes?
Is the Alzheimer's Association advocating our governments for verification systems in memory care facilities? I've found several states have passed legislation authorizing or requiring care homes to have cameras in memory type care homes. My future donations to the Alzheimer's Association may depend upon this answer. To…
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Fireworks, post full moon craziness?
Well the nhf did a fireworks show for the residents last night, I know of a few from the mc side that watched it, but one residents kept talking about all that noise said she was scared she said she never heard such a commotion. This morning the behaviors are off the wall like I have never seen. I didn't attend as I know…
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Making some changes
When I first joined the forum, someone pointed me toward a post by Bill_2001 titled "The Cavalry Is Not Coming." Honestly, I think it may have saved me. Since then I've taken charge of my life in ways I didn't even know I could. A huge thing I needed to handle was dealing with my DH's hoarding. When I took over finances, I…
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Ativan and confusion
My Mom has had dementia for 13 years and is definitely declining, but can typically understand what is happening and can respond appropriately. She can not remember discussions that happened 5 minutes ago, but in the moment is usually lucid. She recently moved from AL to Memory Care, and in doing so, had to change…
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To Give or Not To Give Out MCF Info
I've been approached by a couple of DH's relatives and distant friends asking for the name, location, address and phone for the MCF he's placed in. My first inclination is not to share this info. I feel that it's our private business and I want to uphold DH's privacy as much as possible. But the more I politely refuse to…
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Looking for Oregon (Bend/Redmond) Resources
Hi there! First time poster, although I have lurked and found this community very helpful. I live in Arizona but am trying to help my FIL with resource help (more personal experiences then a list) and thought I'd see if there happened to be anyone local to him on here. My MIL is still at home but we have started the…
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Jo C.
How did the surgery go? IIRC, I think you said it was scheduled for the 3rd. Sorry I didn't ask about it earlier.
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Gratitude
I've recently moved my DW to MC. It hurts. It makes my life easier, but, darn, it still hurts. The only positive is that maybe now I have time to mourn...and maybe have time to find some gratitude. MC's often like to have families to write up a biography so that staff knows something of the loved one's life, before…
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Buggsroo
Hello up there in beautiful Canada, Buggsroo! I have been thinking of you and wondering how everything is going for both you and for your DH. So hope you are feeling much better and are beginning to find ways to adapt to your new way of being. May your days be filled with all the good things you so deserve, and may the…
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RANT - medication unavailable
I have hypoglycemia (low blood sugar). I am not diabetic. For the last 2 or 3 years I have been taking Octreotide Acetate injections, and it has been working for me. About a year ago it was on back order just about everywhere, but I finally found it before I ran out. Now it is not available again, and I can't find it…
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DW Diagnosed with ALZ last 6 months.
My DW was diagnosed with ALZ 3 years ago with mild memory loss. Her memory loss has progressed rapidly over the last 6 months. Just recently she forgot who I am, thinks I might be her BIL. She has not been driving for 6-8 months, but recently wanted me to teach her how to drive her car. I told her no and that has not gone…
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Lequembi
If this is the "first drug to slow the progression" why is my PWD taking aricept and namenda? Our neurologist told us this combination would slow the progression when she started it 2 years ago. And why am I not seeing any comparison of any of the new drugs to aricept and namenda?
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Lessons I learned when DH was threatening and aggressive
This is a post I shared several years ago when my husband was very aggressive and threatening. The lessons I learned may be applicable to others going through similar experiences. After DH was diagnosed, he became aggressive, threatening and verbally abusive on more than one occasion. It was very scary; I was shocked the…
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Muttering
My DH has been muttering under his breath. Sometimes it’s things like .., I don’t want to be here , I hate you. Recently he said I want to kill her. Does anyone have any suggestions on how to stop the muttering. I think he knows he is doing it. He is starting to do it around other people , like my daughter and her family.…
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Finances and Anosognosia
Ok. I feel like a broken record after reading others posts. My DH was diagnosed with MCI in January, heading for vascular dementia and history of brain injury. He is in dementia, No MCI about it. he clearly has anosognosia. First of all, what do you do about that!? In his mind, there is nothing wrong with him. Never mind…
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DH wakes during night soaked in sweat and clammy…
My DH was diagnosed 3 years ago with Alzheimers. He is 85 and in good physical condition although he doesn’t remember 5 minutes ago. We are doing okay as he is normally pleasant. I attend a weekly support group which has educated me on how to communicate with him and prevent escalations when he is anxious or fearful. He…
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He's taking her to Europe and she's in stage 5
I'm talking about my friend and his girlfriend who has EOAD. She was diagnosed about 2 years ago, stage 4 then; she's in early stage 5 now. Her primary symptoms are short-term memory loss, time orientation, and impaired executive function. She has not had issues with wandering, delusions or continence. His plan is to go to…