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Candor vs Burdening
My mom is in the moderate stage but seems to be declining a little more rapidly now. I live in a different state so my dad is the primary caretaker and I visit when I can which is monthly. I'm already grieving the loss of who she was and our relationship. I'm worried one day I'll visit and she won't recognize me. I've made…
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Mom aggressive and won’t take meds
I am dealing with an acute situation with my mom, 90 years old, who is 3 hours away. She has been having symptoms of dementia for several years but she has been otherwise healthy and able to function. My parents have a home next to mine but she has refused to leave her doctors. This week she was admitted to ER for very…
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Incontinence
My LO has urinary incontinence. Does anyone's LO have success with just pads? Especially at night.
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Sadly, we're nearing the end
I can't even believe I'm typing this, but it's true. The hospice nurse called me yesterday to tell me that Peggy's transitioning. And she is. Her heart rate is 140, even as she's just laying there in bed and her pulse is weak. Yesterday she was cool to the touch, and today she was so hot that we ended up putting on the AC.…
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Driving is set to rest! Finally!
So, part of this is an update, part of it, is I am hoping maybe my story will help someone else. Driving is such a huge subject for all of us. My DH has no insight into his disease, like many others. He is not difficult, but he does like to be independent ( or he thinks he does). Anyway, I asked a few of my close friends…
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Adjusting to the new normal
Today is day 3 of placement in mc for my beloved. On day 1, we brought him in and sat for a while, and when he was escorted out to look around, my son and I left. On day 2, both sons and I went to see him and bring a few more items. It was brutal. He sat in an almost catatonic state. But when I sat next to him, he put his…
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Thank You.
Last night at 11:50PM my husband passed into the hands of God. He had been completely unresponsive to the nurses and to me all day. I talked to him all day about our lives together, about how I had loved him every day for 38 years and had been IN LOVE with him every day for 38 years, even through our darkest times. We had…
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It feels like my world is falling apart
DH has been in MC since January 23rd and I miss him terribly. The house is so lonely and nothing feels the same. I finally had my appointment with the elderlaw attorney yesterday and felt so much better and optimistic afterward. That didn't last long though. Reality isn't always easy and it isn't always pretty. She…
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Adult Day Programs
This is a related to the discussion about MC vs home care, but thought I'd start a new thread. I'm considering a day program once or twice a week for my husband so I have a chance to go to the dentist/doctor and complete some tasks around the house/yard. We will visit a program this week and am now really worried about how…
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Community Based Residential Facility Visitation
My neighbor, Wally, had to move his wife of 65 years to an assisted living facility 12 days ago due to her severe dementia. The facility will not allow anyone to visit her. They are saying it will help her to adjust better to the change. Does anyone know if this is standard procedure? I tried to go check on her and they…
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Should I move my dad out of assisted memory care and into nursing home
We moved my dad into an assisted memory care facility over two years ago in a city 25 miles away from home. He seems content there and gets along well with the staff. Lately, we (his family) have been disappointed in some of the care he has received and feel he is not as safe as he once seemed to be. We are also concerned…
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Really dumb question about moving LO to MC
Hi all, My Dad (88, Alz/vascular stage 5/6) is moving to MC tomorrow. He's declined quite a bit in the last month. Facility called us last week encouraging MC, and we all agree he needs it. We visited places and chose his current facility. A few days ago in the flurry of things I made the call to move him tomorrow, which…
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Diagnosis needed ASAP
My dad is showing signs of dementia. He forgets things so quickly. He’s very short-tempered. This has been going on for years. He’s in denial. His mom passed away in 2011. She suffered from Alzheimer’s. How do I go about getting him some help? Do I reach out to his doctor?
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memory care to nursing home
Advice please: I have my dad in a memory care facility that is about 1 hr and 20 min. round trip. Not terrible but I'm only able to visit usually once a week. When I placed him there it was for the activities and people to talk to. That was 2 years ago. At this time he doesn't participate in any activities nor does he…
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What do do...
My mom has been at a private MC home for just over a month. Things are going as expected, though recently she's become more agitated and has hit one particular caregiver three times on three separate days. I'm told they can't really pinpoint a trigger. For example, one day the CG was putting her plate in front of her for…
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Bible Verse to Lift You Up 3/4/24
COURAGE Genesis 1:1 NIV “In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth.” Joshua 1:9 NKJV “Have I not commanded you? Be strong and of good courage; do not be afraid, nor be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.” Jeremiah 31:3 NIV “The Lord appeared to us in the past, saying: ‘I have loved you…
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Not sure if I can keep DH safe
i would love to hear how others handle- DH was already shuffling , gait imbalance. Etc. after two days in the hospital er her is severely weakened. Not eligible for a rehab facility, the case worker ordered a bed for the first floor of our townhouse and ordered in home physical therapy. My question is is this does the home…
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Lkrielow99
Please don't take this as a means to ridicule you. It is not. I understand that this is one of the hardest things to handle with the disease. But in your best interest, that of your husband and that of the public, you really have to get him off the road. He is way past the point where he shouldn't be driving at all. Not…
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Adult Foster Care
I’m in Massachusetts caring for LO with Alzheimer’s full time. He’s got Medicaid and is almost approved for Adult Foster Care (AFC) which means I’d be paid a non-taxable stipend to care for him. He was evaluated as needing level II care which means he needs help with two or more ADLs and behavioral supervision. Please…
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Looking to connect first time . New
Hi names Tom , caregiver for wife , she has Alzheimer little over 3 years , middle stage and struggling . We both are . Finally reaching out . I am turning 80 in May , this is the hardest thing I have ever done in my life . And saddest . Married 63 years , who would have guessed . Don't know what else say right now , but…
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how to deal with mom not knowing me
My mom sometimes knows me, sometimes no. She knows my siblings & my children. But not me. I don't know why. How do others deal with a parent not knowing you? I'm trying to wrap my head around it, be happy to be whoever she thinks I am. How do you that? Just with time?
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Swallowing Issues
DH has had occasional issues with swallowing for years, but since his Alz diagnosis the difficulties are much more often. He has learned to chew slowly, eat very small bites, and it takes him twice the time to finish a meal than it does me. Last night I had been to a meting and came home, he had an episode while I was…
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So conflicted and grieving at the prospect of mc for dh
One of the things that keeps resonating with me is the statement that many caregivers realize that they have waited too long to place their LO in memory care. I don't want to make that mistake. My DH spends most of the day sleeping, and when he is not sleeping he is staring at the floor. His language skills are…
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You Won't Believe this Update.
First, I want to thank everyone who so kindly and thoughtfully offered me support yesterday when I truly thought I would collapse from pain over my husband's situation. I believe you all carried me through to today. Thank you again so much. Here's what happened today. My husband made it through the night. When I arrived at…
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Early Onset
Good day. I am only 51 and have dementia, second to my brain disorder, Arnold Chiari. This has been terror and is so very lonely. My husband of 10 years has decided that dementia is getting in the way of his future and career and has left, saying I was a detriment. Currently, I am going through a divorce while trying to…
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Caregiver Weight Gain
I am wondering if any of you caregivers have fallen into a pattern of overeating. I know I have and gained 25 pounds this past year! I try and try to stop giving in to my cravings but nothing works. It worries me because not only am I displeased with how I look but it will likely affect my health. I am not asking for…
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Regarding remternetug
Has anyone been approached to participate in a clinical trial for this new drug? Iris
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New diagnosis in middle of major life changes.
Hello all, my husband was diagnosed last week with Alzheimer’s …The signs have been there for about 2 years, I believe my husband is in the mild stage still. Our neurologist didn’t provide a lot of information. I am struggling with some major life changes we started making a year ago. We planned to move from Michigan to…
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How do you know you LO is in the dying phase?
I just left him in the hospital for observation - impacted colon anyway he is so weak. Now can barely walk , sleeps slot. Keeps saying he is dying and I will be ok, i say” Michael- we can get busy living or we can get busy dying’ He will say I want yo get busy living When I left him tonight I felt so sad Maybe I sm not…
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Mom having symptoms
My mom is 68 and has been having a difficult time. She's not diagnosed nor has she seen a doctor. But she misplaces things constantly, forgets things more, has trouble with sleep, anger and has had shifting behavior. My father has seen it as well. I'm worried and don't want to step on toes. I'm not sure what it is, and I'm…