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Neurologist
My DH was diagnosed with Alz in early 2022. We have since moved to NC to be closer to family. Currently we are using the VA for medical doctors. I now feel we need a private practice neurologist. How do I find one that is good? My DH sleeps most of the day in his recliner, but then tells me he's not sleeping… He is 78. I'm…
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What should I expect next and how soon
Hi. My mom is 79 years old and is a dementia patient. She has recently lost her ability to realize that she needs to urinate or poop. She does all of it in diapers and it's a nightmare to clean her up....as she gets angry, does not want to cooperate or listen while I clean her up. I am paranoid about her hygiene. Her…
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Frustration and denial
Hi, I’m new to this group and I was wondering how do other people cope with the frustration and denial that arises from oneself by living with a spouse with mild cognitive impairment. Communication has progressively declined. It’s like we speak 2 different languages and this sparks confrontations. He is in denial of his…
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Father fears running out of money, how to redirect?
My dad is 86 years old with mild diagnosed dementia (he can remember things from 50 years ago but forgets that he ate 15 minutes ago or the conversation that he just had). There has been a slow cognitive decline over the last few years. He becomes fixated on one thing or another, whether it's the tv in his room (he never…
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Can I do this…?
It’s late here, and I’m tired. I’m currently the major support person for my two older siblings along with my DH with Alzheimer’s. Today has been an all dayer, split between brother and husband. As I’m reading the forum each night after the lights are turned off, I see all you faithful warriors out there, giving it your…
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Contented Dementia Book
My husband was just diagnosed and I am reading about SPECAL care. This has helped tremendously. The book uses the metaphor of “old photographs”….. things in long term memory. When considering this, why would my spouse do odd things like put the tuna can in the freezer? Wouldn’t that be in your long term memory? Please…
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Mom Recently Diagnosed
My 82 year old mother was recently diagnosed with dementia. Her primary care doctor diagnosed her. My brother and I are at a loss with what to do next. Her doctor doesn’t want to prescribe any type of medication because she says the side effects are too great for my mom. She has a history of frequent falls. Do we need to…
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My DH called me a name today...
This morning my DH called me a b**ch. I'm so angry & sad. Not at him but at the disease and disappointed in myself that I lost my temper with him. He was diagnosed 2 years ago with frontal memory loss unknown type. They can't do an MRI because he has leads in his heart from triple heart bypass in 2015. The VA won't do a…
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Different day different symptom
ok every time I think I have a handle on dealing with this awful illness something happens to upset the apple cart once again! The “ have patience, he can’t help it, it’s out of your control, it’s the dementia thing has helped but then you get a series of Oh my God moments!! Apparently DH’s memory is fading as he can’t…
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The never ending Geri psych saga
My DH will hopefully get out of his Geri psych unit next Monday. The APRN switched him to Risperidone, which seems to be working well, with no side effects yet. I had found a new geriatric psychiatrist that was supposed to do a telehealth visit in a week so my DH could continue on his new medication. Today I found out that…
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LO in memory care asking for credit cards, cash and driver license
I moved both parents to assisted living two months ago, and they are now saying both parents need to move to memory care. I am planning for that move shortly. Since they moved two months ago, both parents have been confused and disoriented. I have been holding my dad's wallet that contains a credit card, cash, both of…
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recent diagnosis
I am a caregiver for my wife. I recently took her for a bran MRI after her spinal fluid analysis was inconclusive with AD. After her MRI the doctor told me with her atrophy and spinal analysis they think she has an early form of dementia that's possible from AD. Still don't know what to make of this or why I can't just get…
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Advice on staying away after moving spouse to AL?
I moved my ES DH into assisted living 2 months ago and it was the right thing to do. We were in crisis and I couldn't keep him or me safe or take care of him. But he is struggling with the move and is getting more anxious, fearful, and dependent on me being there. I have been going every day and leaving at the same time…
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Down Syndrome with early onset dementia
Hi! My daughter, born with DS is 31 years old and started showing signs of dementia long before I realized what was happening. I had planned for so many different problems, but not once did I think this would be it. As I watch her decline, it breaks my heart and all I can do is try to keep life as normal as possible. My…
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putting keyed locks on closets and spare bedroom doors
OK, I completely lost it today, and the worst part of it is.... I have no remorse. The free style urinating by DH is out of control. I've put barriers up in front of doors to bedrooms, and that worked for awhile, but today, he removed a hamper and a baby gate and was about to pee(again) on the brand new bedding . I had…
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Respite care tour
Touring a couple options to (hopefully) take advantage of Medicare's 5 days of respite care. Curious to see what the rooms/residents/meals/care teams are like. Anything else I should look at/ask about?
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New name, old member
I've been around a while. Formerly known as dutiful deb, I spent a decade caring for my mom. I felt that with the new change of caregiving roles, it was fitting to alter my screen name. I also value my privacy and wanted to remove any identifying marks. It's been a long time since I posted here. My mother passed away 6…
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death, aftermath, touching back down to earth
Hi everyone, I always had the intention of returning to this forum and all of you once I'd had some space to process my grief. But it turns out, I don't think my brain is processing it! Unless it is.. and I just don't know it. I was wondering if posting here would help unlock the box of grief my brain has been quietly…
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New member
end.
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One or none (zero) items is easier to deal with
I noticed that a mid-stage PWD may have an easier time with only one item (let's say it's a box of cereal) or none at all. Let's say there's an half empty box of cereal, so you bought a new one and put it next to it. PWD would take the full one, and try to refill the half empty one with it. It won't fit, so you end up with…
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Was I living under a rock?
I guess this is just a vent, but the feelings of betrayal and heartache are very real. My DH and I have been married 46 years. He has been in MC for the last two months. I always knew he had a negative side and some behavior that was questionable, but for the most part he seemed to be a normal husband and father before…
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Mom getting scammed
My mom has been dealing with dementia for a couple of years. It has progressively gotten worse. Supposedly the more times they have gone under anesthesia it can speed up dementia. She went under 3 times last year. But even before that she had issues with scammers. She lives in an AL. I have had my hands full from time to…
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Working Still
Hey all. In a week, I turn 58. A few days later, I'll have been in this new job for a year. We moved and I took on this new job with so much hope. Hope my DW was dealing with an elevated level of anxiety and stress due to long term caregiving of her mother and father with dementia and then both of their deaths. Hope that…
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News from UsAgainstAlzheimer's
Michael Ellenbogen sent me quite a bit of news from this important Alzheimer's organization. I just picked out a few of the stories. Meet the women of UsAgainstAlzheimer's As part of Women’s History Month in March, we released four videos shining a spotlight on some of the incredible women who are driving change through…
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Feeling pain
My dad, 88, with VD, had back surgery and fractured pelvis. He initially was given strong narcotics but developed delirium in the hospital. So he was just given Tylenol. He hardly complained about pain and didn't even request the Tylenol while in hospital and rehab. The physical therapist said that his pelvis fractures are…
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Revisiting Staging Tool - noticing the (shocking) Caregiver info
Here is the 7 Stages of Dementia Behavioral Assessment Tool (DBAT) from Tam Cummings that has given the most accurate info for me. However, I only skim it. I review it every so often to see where we stand on progression, and to clarify my thinking on what may be happening with DH that I can address to make the day go…
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Options for noisy environment
My FIL is very sensitive to noise. When he is woken up (from the noise down the hall) he gets very agitated. Today he was woken and became violent with the caregiver and hit her. He is now in the emergency room and they want to do tests and keep him over night. My question is this. Has anyone had to deal with this before…
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Harmless behaviors
As with most families we have our favorite coffee cup, seat at the table, bath towel we use etc. I’ve noticed lately that DH has been using my towel, sitting in my seat at the table using my coffee cup, even eating my leftover takeout that he use to not like 🤷🏻♀️ Just wondering if anyone else has experienced this kind of…
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Diagnosis
I am caring for my husband. We have been to a neurologist twice. At the initial visit, the doctor ordered a sleep study, blood work, MRI, did several tests, and interviewed him. The sleep study confirmed significant apnea, blood test showed Lyme disease, and MRI was "unremarkable". I was encouraged to think that the…
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Need legal advice/support
I am a caregiver/friend/partner to my 84yr ex-lover who was diagnosed with ES stage dementia several years ago. Another friend of my ex who has been her property manager for maybe 40 yrs put an alert on one of my friend's bank account. Once that happened, Adult Protective Services got involved and had an emergency court…