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When it rains…
it pours. In the Spouse section I’ve been detailing my DH’s month-long journey in two Geri psych units, which will hopefully end with him being released back to his memory care tomorrow. In the meantime my 90-year-old mother, who has vascular dementia, has started another type of journey. She had a major stroke in December…
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Fits of crying
My beautiful queen of 61 years has been in a memory care facility suffering from dementia for one year now. I'm having great difficulty coping with her not being under this roof. Practically every day I have these fits of crying. I often feel that I am going to die of a broken heart 💔
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Just a share, for fun and peace
this was the midsummer moon on our farm last night. If you have things that ease your burden, please post
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Mother not cooperating with maid
My mother ,aged 66,is not able to go to washroom by herself We have maid,who helps her, recently she is not cooperating with her as well. Other than my sister,she does not allow anyone else to be with her. Need suggestions....to deal with mother Also,she is hallucinating....she looks at herself in mirror and gets hyper...…
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Obsessed with his facial hair
Several months ago, my DH began obsessing about his facial hair. He was asking me to either help or find someone to help to get the hair off his face. Every day, sometimes multiple times a day, he rubs his face and says "I've been asking for help but nobody, including you, helps me." He can still shave himself, although I…
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I'm making progress with my brother's diagnosis
I found out today that he is scheduled to see a neuropsychologist on two days in August. Yay! This will mean two trips up there that month, but I'm going to do it. I emailed them a copy of the signed HIPAA form so that they can talk freely with me. We're on the way!
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I haven't seen you in days/weeks/months...
My DW is now delusional: she thinks I'm never here. She will say "I haven't seen you in weeks. Where do you live? Where have you been? Who were you with?" Hearing this has been deeply frustrating and distressing, and I don't know how to respond. Needless to say, I am here all the time. Approaching this rationally, I've…
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Neurologist
My DH was diagnosed with Alz in early 2022. We have since moved to NC to be closer to family. Currently we are using the VA for medical doctors. I now feel we need a private practice neurologist. How do I find one that is good? My DH sleeps most of the day in his recliner, but then tells me he's not sleeping… He is 78. I'm…
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What should I expect next and how soon
Hi. My mom is 79 years old and is a dementia patient. She has recently lost her ability to realize that she needs to urinate or poop. She does all of it in diapers and it's a nightmare to clean her up....as she gets angry, does not want to cooperate or listen while I clean her up. I am paranoid about her hygiene. Her…
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Frustration and denial
Hi, I’m new to this group and I was wondering how do other people cope with the frustration and denial that arises from oneself by living with a spouse with mild cognitive impairment. Communication has progressively declined. It’s like we speak 2 different languages and this sparks confrontations. He is in denial of his…
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Father fears running out of money, how to redirect?
My dad is 86 years old with mild diagnosed dementia (he can remember things from 50 years ago but forgets that he ate 15 minutes ago or the conversation that he just had). There has been a slow cognitive decline over the last few years. He becomes fixated on one thing or another, whether it's the tv in his room (he never…
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Can I do this…?
It’s late here, and I’m tired. I’m currently the major support person for my two older siblings along with my DH with Alzheimer’s. Today has been an all dayer, split between brother and husband. As I’m reading the forum each night after the lights are turned off, I see all you faithful warriors out there, giving it your…
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Contented Dementia Book
My husband was just diagnosed and I am reading about SPECAL care. This has helped tremendously. The book uses the metaphor of “old photographs”….. things in long term memory. When considering this, why would my spouse do odd things like put the tuna can in the freezer? Wouldn’t that be in your long term memory? Please…
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Mom Recently Diagnosed
My 82 year old mother was recently diagnosed with dementia. Her primary care doctor diagnosed her. My brother and I are at a loss with what to do next. Her doctor doesn’t want to prescribe any type of medication because she says the side effects are too great for my mom. She has a history of frequent falls. Do we need to…
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My DH called me a name today...
This morning my DH called me a b**ch. I'm so angry & sad. Not at him but at the disease and disappointed in myself that I lost my temper with him. He was diagnosed 2 years ago with frontal memory loss unknown type. They can't do an MRI because he has leads in his heart from triple heart bypass in 2015. The VA won't do a…
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Different day different symptom
ok every time I think I have a handle on dealing with this awful illness something happens to upset the apple cart once again! The “ have patience, he can’t help it, it’s out of your control, it’s the dementia thing has helped but then you get a series of Oh my God moments!! Apparently DH’s memory is fading as he can’t…
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The never ending Geri psych saga
My DH will hopefully get out of his Geri psych unit next Monday. The APRN switched him to Risperidone, which seems to be working well, with no side effects yet. I had found a new geriatric psychiatrist that was supposed to do a telehealth visit in a week so my DH could continue on his new medication. Today I found out that…
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LO in memory care asking for credit cards, cash and driver license
I moved both parents to assisted living two months ago, and they are now saying both parents need to move to memory care. I am planning for that move shortly. Since they moved two months ago, both parents have been confused and disoriented. I have been holding my dad's wallet that contains a credit card, cash, both of…
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recent diagnosis
I am a caregiver for my wife. I recently took her for a bran MRI after her spinal fluid analysis was inconclusive with AD. After her MRI the doctor told me with her atrophy and spinal analysis they think she has an early form of dementia that's possible from AD. Still don't know what to make of this or why I can't just get…
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Advice on staying away after moving spouse to AL?
I moved my ES DH into assisted living 2 months ago and it was the right thing to do. We were in crisis and I couldn't keep him or me safe or take care of him. But he is struggling with the move and is getting more anxious, fearful, and dependent on me being there. I have been going every day and leaving at the same time…
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Down Syndrome with early onset dementia
Hi! My daughter, born with DS is 31 years old and started showing signs of dementia long before I realized what was happening. I had planned for so many different problems, but not once did I think this would be it. As I watch her decline, it breaks my heart and all I can do is try to keep life as normal as possible. My…
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putting keyed locks on closets and spare bedroom doors
OK, I completely lost it today, and the worst part of it is.... I have no remorse. The free style urinating by DH is out of control. I've put barriers up in front of doors to bedrooms, and that worked for awhile, but today, he removed a hamper and a baby gate and was about to pee(again) on the brand new bedding . I had…
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Respite care tour
Touring a couple options to (hopefully) take advantage of Medicare's 5 days of respite care. Curious to see what the rooms/residents/meals/care teams are like. Anything else I should look at/ask about?
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New name, old member
I've been around a while. Formerly known as dutiful deb, I spent a decade caring for my mom. I felt that with the new change of caregiving roles, it was fitting to alter my screen name. I also value my privacy and wanted to remove any identifying marks. It's been a long time since I posted here. My mother passed away 6…
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death, aftermath, touching back down to earth
Hi everyone, I always had the intention of returning to this forum and all of you once I'd had some space to process my grief. But it turns out, I don't think my brain is processing it! Unless it is.. and I just don't know it. I was wondering if posting here would help unlock the box of grief my brain has been quietly…
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New member
end.
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One or none (zero) items is easier to deal with
I noticed that a mid-stage PWD may have an easier time with only one item (let's say it's a box of cereal) or none at all. Let's say there's an half empty box of cereal, so you bought a new one and put it next to it. PWD would take the full one, and try to refill the half empty one with it. It won't fit, so you end up with…
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Was I living under a rock?
I guess this is just a vent, but the feelings of betrayal and heartache are very real. My DH and I have been married 46 years. He has been in MC for the last two months. I always knew he had a negative side and some behavior that was questionable, but for the most part he seemed to be a normal husband and father before…
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Mom getting scammed
My mom has been dealing with dementia for a couple of years. It has progressively gotten worse. Supposedly the more times they have gone under anesthesia it can speed up dementia. She went under 3 times last year. But even before that she had issues with scammers. She lives in an AL. I have had my hands full from time to…
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Working Still
Hey all. In a week, I turn 58. A few days later, I'll have been in this new job for a year. We moved and I took on this new job with so much hope. Hope my DW was dealing with an elevated level of anxiety and stress due to long term caregiving of her mother and father with dementia and then both of their deaths. Hope that…