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Early onset: navigating caregiving AND parenting simultaneously
Lately, I've been feeling more ready to wander around these forums and read about the struggles and heartbreaks of other caregivers. We are fairly new to this reality and I'm finding acceptance of our circumstances little by little. I recently found the Dementia Behavioral Assessment Tool (DBAT) and it's given me such a…
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55-year-old Early Onset: advice about WHEN he should leave work??
Hello, We are wading through so many stressful planning sessions these days. Currently our BIGGEST confusion is when/under what circumstances should my husband leave his job? He's only 55 and in the early stages of the disease. We have three kids living at home (21, 18, and 11) He's a candidate for Leqembi, which—if our…
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An update
I've been off this site for a while due to Covid and a computer crash. But….things are much better. As many of you know, my husband went into memory care recently and I have had a very hard time accepting the situation. I finally decided that if I can't accept it, I have to figure out how to realistically bring him back…
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Covid “Vaccine”
My mom was living in senior apartments and thriving until the covid “vaccine.” She was cooking for herself, enjoying life, visitors, going on outings, etc. Then she got the covid vax and soon after got covid, hospitalized, survived remdesivir, and everything went to sh*t. Anyone else experience the same?
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Mom is always worried she is in trouble
The last several times I’ve been to the AL, Mom’s first question is ‘ did they call you?’. The next is ‘ am I in trouble? At some point, she will say ‘ I had a meltdown’. Sometimes it’s ‘last night’. Sometimes it’s ’this morning’. All of this appears to be in her head because the AL is not calling me or reporting said…
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Seeking information about amyloid protein tests
Hello All, My best friend from childhood, now 61, is living in Orlando, Florida; she has, according to DNA testing from 23andMe, genes from both her father and her mother for Alzheimers. Her mother is in her last stage of alzheimers and is unlikely to live through the summer. My question: Cognito is running a new clinical…
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When it rains…
it pours. In the Spouse section I’ve been detailing my DH’s month-long journey in two Geri psych units, which will hopefully end with him being released back to his memory care tomorrow. In the meantime my 90-year-old mother, who has vascular dementia, has started another type of journey. She had a major stroke in December…
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Fits of crying
My beautiful queen of 61 years has been in a memory care facility suffering from dementia for one year now. I'm having great difficulty coping with her not being under this roof. Practically every day I have these fits of crying. I often feel that I am going to die of a broken heart 💔
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Just a share, for fun and peace
this was the midsummer moon on our farm last night. If you have things that ease your burden, please post
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Mother not cooperating with maid
My mother ,aged 66,is not able to go to washroom by herself We have maid,who helps her, recently she is not cooperating with her as well. Other than my sister,she does not allow anyone else to be with her. Need suggestions....to deal with mother Also,she is hallucinating....she looks at herself in mirror and gets hyper...…
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Obsessed with his facial hair
Several months ago, my DH began obsessing about his facial hair. He was asking me to either help or find someone to help to get the hair off his face. Every day, sometimes multiple times a day, he rubs his face and says "I've been asking for help but nobody, including you, helps me." He can still shave himself, although I…
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I'm making progress with my brother's diagnosis
I found out today that he is scheduled to see a neuropsychologist on two days in August. Yay! This will mean two trips up there that month, but I'm going to do it. I emailed them a copy of the signed HIPAA form so that they can talk freely with me. We're on the way!
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I haven't seen you in days/weeks/months...
My DW is now delusional: she thinks I'm never here. She will say "I haven't seen you in weeks. Where do you live? Where have you been? Who were you with?" Hearing this has been deeply frustrating and distressing, and I don't know how to respond. Needless to say, I am here all the time. Approaching this rationally, I've…
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Neurologist
My DH was diagnosed with Alz in early 2022. We have since moved to NC to be closer to family. Currently we are using the VA for medical doctors. I now feel we need a private practice neurologist. How do I find one that is good? My DH sleeps most of the day in his recliner, but then tells me he's not sleeping… He is 78. I'm…
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What should I expect next and how soon
Hi. My mom is 79 years old and is a dementia patient. She has recently lost her ability to realize that she needs to urinate or poop. She does all of it in diapers and it's a nightmare to clean her up....as she gets angry, does not want to cooperate or listen while I clean her up. I am paranoid about her hygiene. Her…
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Frustration and denial
Hi, I’m new to this group and I was wondering how do other people cope with the frustration and denial that arises from oneself by living with a spouse with mild cognitive impairment. Communication has progressively declined. It’s like we speak 2 different languages and this sparks confrontations. He is in denial of his…
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Father fears running out of money, how to redirect?
My dad is 86 years old with mild diagnosed dementia (he can remember things from 50 years ago but forgets that he ate 15 minutes ago or the conversation that he just had). There has been a slow cognitive decline over the last few years. He becomes fixated on one thing or another, whether it's the tv in his room (he never…
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Can I do this…?
It’s late here, and I’m tired. I’m currently the major support person for my two older siblings along with my DH with Alzheimer’s. Today has been an all dayer, split between brother and husband. As I’m reading the forum each night after the lights are turned off, I see all you faithful warriors out there, giving it your…
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Contented Dementia Book
My husband was just diagnosed and I am reading about SPECAL care. This has helped tremendously. The book uses the metaphor of “old photographs”….. things in long term memory. When considering this, why would my spouse do odd things like put the tuna can in the freezer? Wouldn’t that be in your long term memory? Please…
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Mom Recently Diagnosed
My 82 year old mother was recently diagnosed with dementia. Her primary care doctor diagnosed her. My brother and I are at a loss with what to do next. Her doctor doesn’t want to prescribe any type of medication because she says the side effects are too great for my mom. She has a history of frequent falls. Do we need to…
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My DH called me a name today...
This morning my DH called me a b**ch. I'm so angry & sad. Not at him but at the disease and disappointed in myself that I lost my temper with him. He was diagnosed 2 years ago with frontal memory loss unknown type. They can't do an MRI because he has leads in his heart from triple heart bypass in 2015. The VA won't do a…
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Different day different symptom
ok every time I think I have a handle on dealing with this awful illness something happens to upset the apple cart once again! The “ have patience, he can’t help it, it’s out of your control, it’s the dementia thing has helped but then you get a series of Oh my God moments!! Apparently DH’s memory is fading as he can’t…
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The never ending Geri psych saga
My DH will hopefully get out of his Geri psych unit next Monday. The APRN switched him to Risperidone, which seems to be working well, with no side effects yet. I had found a new geriatric psychiatrist that was supposed to do a telehealth visit in a week so my DH could continue on his new medication. Today I found out that…
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LO in memory care asking for credit cards, cash and driver license
I moved both parents to assisted living two months ago, and they are now saying both parents need to move to memory care. I am planning for that move shortly. Since they moved two months ago, both parents have been confused and disoriented. I have been holding my dad's wallet that contains a credit card, cash, both of…
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recent diagnosis
I am a caregiver for my wife. I recently took her for a bran MRI after her spinal fluid analysis was inconclusive with AD. After her MRI the doctor told me with her atrophy and spinal analysis they think she has an early form of dementia that's possible from AD. Still don't know what to make of this or why I can't just get…
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Advice on staying away after moving spouse to AL?
I moved my ES DH into assisted living 2 months ago and it was the right thing to do. We were in crisis and I couldn't keep him or me safe or take care of him. But he is struggling with the move and is getting more anxious, fearful, and dependent on me being there. I have been going every day and leaving at the same time…
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Down Syndrome with early onset dementia
Hi! My daughter, born with DS is 31 years old and started showing signs of dementia long before I realized what was happening. I had planned for so many different problems, but not once did I think this would be it. As I watch her decline, it breaks my heart and all I can do is try to keep life as normal as possible. My…
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putting keyed locks on closets and spare bedroom doors
OK, I completely lost it today, and the worst part of it is.... I have no remorse. The free style urinating by DH is out of control. I've put barriers up in front of doors to bedrooms, and that worked for awhile, but today, he removed a hamper and a baby gate and was about to pee(again) on the brand new bedding . I had…
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Respite care tour
Touring a couple options to (hopefully) take advantage of Medicare's 5 days of respite care. Curious to see what the rooms/residents/meals/care teams are like. Anything else I should look at/ask about?
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New name, old member
I've been around a while. Formerly known as dutiful deb, I spent a decade caring for my mom. I felt that with the new change of caregiving roles, it was fitting to alter my screen name. I also value my privacy and wanted to remove any identifying marks. It's been a long time since I posted here. My mother passed away 6…