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Early Alz - is distance caregiving better?
My Mom is on the verge of mild Alzheimers (according to her doctor it’s still mild cognitive decline, yet her short term memory is atrocious and will forget things I tell her 10 minutes prior). my issue is that I’m her only family member. I live 3+ hours away. She doesn’t have anyone where she lives, except a couple of…
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Help! What to do when they refuse to take their medication??
Hello Everyone, my stepdad recently passed away unexpectedly and as a result, I now take care of my 83 year old mom who has vascular dementia. We've only had her living here with us for one week (different state than she was living in previously). We are scrambling to accommodate her as we are not set up for this kind of…
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How do you balance leave and cleave (Genesis 2:24) with honoring (caring for) your elderly parents
I learned the hard way, folks. No matter what the Bible or your culture says, pick your marriage (leave and cleave) and work out how to care for your parents without destroying it. I didn't think at this age or stage in my life we would be working on repairing our marriage - but here we are. Be happy. Don't let caregiving…
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New to the forum
Hello all, I'll keep this short as I'm sure you're all heard this before, as it's the same story with a different name. I moved my mom here a year ago to take care of her, as out of all my siblings, I'm the one best suited to do so. My mom (86) has Alzheimer's, and refuses to accept her condition. I'm able to deal with it…
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Touring Assisted Living - What questions should I ask?
I am going to start making appointments tomorrow to visit Assisted Living places for my Mom. I have never been to an Assisted Living place before. What questions should I ask? What should I be looking for?
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Helpless & Angry about husband's loss
Hi folks, Im just in the beginning of this challenging journey, so please indulge me as i come to you for help. Im vey overwhelmed, so hope this makes sense to you. My 86 yo mom, the most important person in the world to me, has mild - mod dementia and is currently in a rehab place following a hospitalization. That's is…
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Newbie - looking for support
Hi, my Mom (88) was diagnosed with Mild Cognitive Impairment a few months ago. She is still considered independent in the facility she moved into almost 5 years ago. But she isn’t independent. I manage her meds, finances, and for the last couple months go over 2-3x/week for showers. Otherwise she doesn’t shower. She is…
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New
New to site. Caring for live in dad with dementia. Any information would be appreciated. Need a friend or nurse to come in once a week to visit.
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Need advice about how I got my parents to stop driving.
I have posted before. Both parents have cognitive issues. My dad recently drove on a suspended Drivers license with no I’d. My mom turned off the cameras in the house to cover it up and told the other caregiver she would protect her husband at all cost. I begged and pleaded to her conscience to give me the rest of the…
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alz
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Any Doctors in Idaho/Washington able to diagnose dementia
I have been trying to get my mom a diagnosis for the type of dementia she has for almost a year. I keep getting the run around in the Coeur dAlene/Spokane area that apparently only two doctors in the whole area are capable of diagnosing her and prescribing any medication. This seems very odd and frustrating to me…
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Tired of Caring
I am lost and spiraling in caregiving for my 91 yr old mom. My entire life is interconnected with hers. What I do, cannot do, where I go, and cannot go is mostly determined by her needs. She is in short-term stay/respite, so I can take care of me and I don't look forward to going back to the way things were. Healthcare,…
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alz ANGER
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Looking for my deceased father
In the past week, my mother has been looking and waiting for my father to come and get her. He has been deceased for 27 years. She seems to think he has a girlfriend and doesn't want her anymore. I have been trying to assure her that he doesn't and that he has been working out of town. She is so distraught and I am having…
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I’m a mess
Talk about depression. How does everyone cope with caring for a parent who is declining so quickly due to this disease? Any help or ideas would be awesome or resources
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I made a mistake…
I made a huge mistake. Fortunately mom and I are ok. I don’t know what possessed me (denial, wishful thinking), but after she insisted I let her take a (very short) cab ride to the animal shelter. She did great; even picked up supplies at the nearby pet store. I was on the phone with her as she looked at cats. Told her to…
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Long stage 7
Hello all, I am new here. My dad is in end-stage dementia, stage 7, and on hospice in a care home. However, he is doing extremely well. This confuses me. He is incontinent, non-verbal, has mostly lost the ability to swallow correctly and has had aspiration pneumonia twice in 6 weeks. I just made the decision to put him on…
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Restaurants
Anyone have any recommendations for eating out at a restaurant with an ADLO, middle stage? Whenever we try to go out to eat with my dad, he is incredulous about the prices of food; not to mention having trouble with too many choices on the menu. Mom (his devoted wife of 56 years) helps him; suggesting things she knows he…
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Going backwards
My story is very long. But I’m going to give the short version. 3 years ago my uncle/Godfather came to me and asked me to go to work for him. After him asking me several times and me knowing it would mean so much to my Mom at the time who was very ill. I went to work for him. He had an a strained relationship with all 3 of…
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It’s lonely on the other side
My mom died a few months ago. It was so shocking. Even knowing ALZ is a leading cause of death, I didn’t really get that it would kill her, especially because she was otherwise in good health and still had abilities I assumed she would lose first (walking, talking, recognizing loved ones). But she fell and never walked…
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Is my mother an anomaly? (help with staging)
Hello All, I am new here. My 83 year old mom has come to live with me after the sudden passing of my stepdad. She used to live one state over, so I have no inkling of what stage she might be in concerning her dementia. I have had no contact with her previous doctor, nor do I have any medical records at this time. My mom…
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Mom went missing
So today my mom called a car dealership and they picked her up at assisted living and allowed her write a nonsufficient fund check for a car and gave her the keys. She drove off and four counties of people were looking for her before we found her. I’m just sick. She has been told she can’t drive but she doesn’t want to…
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Vent Post - CCRC Experience in NJ
Hi all, I just need to vent. I'm the daughter of a person with dementia, helping my dad, the primary caregiver, make some tough decisions on memory care placement for my mom. Long story short, after 6-7 months of me personally researching skilled nursing faciliites, CCRCs with AL, IL and Memory Care, I finally got Dad to…
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antipsychotic meds question (Seroquel and Zyprexa)
Advice requested: My dad is entering 7th week of Memory Care. In the last two weeks he has had 3 physical outbursts that have threatened his roommate and caregivers. Because of the last one, he was taken to ER and given Seroquel (without our permission). The facility took him back the next day (yesterday) after one dose;…
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Newbie
I'm new here because part of me is in denial. I got a call Friday from the nurse at her Speech therapist that my Mom wasn't safe. I've been told that she is not independently safe. She won't believe me because they haven't told her directly. She stayed with us & sometimes it was completely awful. She yelled. Said we were…
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Memory Care/ Positive Message
This is much longer than I intended. But I know many people struggle with guilt when the MC decision is raised. Suffice to say we went through the same heartbreaking and infuriating journey so many people here are going through. Elderly parent who lived alone, at the other side of the country and rejected all help and…
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Cutting Edge Care
https://dementiaallianceinternational.org/blog/balancing-risk-and-engagement-the-dutch-approach-to-dementia-design
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I am going crazy!
I am caring for my 90 year old mother who is transitioning from 6 to 7. She repeats herself constantly, cannot sit still for longer than 30 seconds, has no awareness of her difficulties, will undo what was just done, even if its something she needs. I am so frustrated. I know that she cannot help her behaviors and I try to…