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I'm going slowly crazy
Hi all, I'm new here and the only other real support I have is another online group. My mom is 89 and has never been officially diagnosed, but she definitely has Alzheimers. From the reading that I've done on the subject I'd guess she's a stage 6. My sister handles all of her finances and takes her to the doctor when she…
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Newly Diagnosed Father
My dad was just diagnosed with Alz and is declining fast. He is only 77 and we are atill working with neurology for other issues. Is it normal for the decline to be so fast? I feel helpless.
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Boyfriend / Friend
My mother befriended a man at the independent living center shortly after she moved in in 2017. Since then the relationship has become more romantic and they discussed marriage (long story). It should be noted that he was placed in the Care Ctr a couple of years ago and is not doing well. My mother's memory has…
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Update after 4 months in ALF
It's been four months since Mom (84) with dementia moved to the ALF. She's on Risperidone, 0.5mg twice per day, and other meds prescribed by her cardiologist for heart failure. She is deteriorating and I'm just not sure if it's a side effect of the Risperidone or what. I feel guilty quite frequently. She has been back to…
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Words -
I have noticed that just 2 months into symptoms, her "F"s , "P"s and "th" are sounding funny. What does this mean? What is happening to her verbal skills?
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Mother in law- and supporting my husband and brothers to best support her
My MIL recently moved close to us from our of state. Since she has been closer we see increased memory impairment and getting lost while driving. I would like to chalk up some of it to learning a new area, however a few weeks ago she came into a restaurant disorientated and confused and the waitress called for a welfare…
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How to move LO
Hello, Although my plan had been to have an aid live with my mother, I am realizing that MC is something I must consider. I suspect there is no easy answer to this question, but how do I tell her? How much time between when I tell her and we move? She will need to be evaluated first at the facility so she will know…
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Something new every day . . .
In the past 60 days, since my sister and I moved my mother into AL then MC, she has been steadily declining. Does it ever plateau? I understand that dementia is a terminal illness, but I keep reading how the stages can last for years at a time. For us, it seems like there is something new and bad every day. Delusions,…
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A few thoughts on Memory Care
I recently had to move my mom from AL to MC and wanted to share a few thoughts. I’ve noticed that my perception of MC, and that of others who are not there or don’t have a loved one there - is actually kind of negative. People talk of it like it is some kind of prison where people deteriorate. I have to confess: this may…
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Newly Diagnosed Mom
Hello, My mother was recently diagnosed with moderate dementia. It seems to have accelerated once she moved into AL, which was her decision. She is well cared for however is requesting that my brother and I call her multiple times a day. Any tips for setting reasonable boundaries while at the same time helping her as much…
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Dreams and Nightmares
Hi all, My dad has started having dreams/nightmares about his parents. They died in 1967 and 1971. He is dreaming that they committed suicide, they did not, and he wakes up crying. He has been talking about his mother a lot which is something new and he is not mentioning my mom (his wife) anymore. She died 11 years ago.…
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Finding a companion
Hello, I have an aunt that is living in a memory care facility she is 85. My mother ( her twin sister) and I live in a different state. We just went for a brief visit and have some concerns. Her guardian does not visit on a regular basis. Is it possible for us to hire (private pay) a person to go and visit her on a weekly…
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Ways to have a meaningful visit
I posted about a year ago after my mother had cataract surgery. She seemed to develop dementia over night after the surgery. She was at home till December but kept going to the neighbors house and saying bizarre things. After monthly trips to the ER for this and that, and calling 911 several times they finally admitted her…
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My dad ……please get me out of here……what do I say?
i moved my dad to AL 2 months ago has been doing ok…..ups and downs but was adjusting then when I was out of town for the weekend tried to escape and facility said he had to be moved to MC to stay………when I got back I was diagnosed with Covid so wasn’t with him in the move. Other family members helped but I’m his concrete.…
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Dementia is just so cruel.
My mom has always suffered from anxiety. She learned a few coping mechanisms over the years and self-medicated with wine in the evenings. I think she was drinking a lot more than I realized. We still don't have an official diagnosis, but whatever her kind of dementia is, I find it particularly cruel. Mom often gets…
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Bathroom Advice
Hello, I care for my mom who has advanced dementia. She stands and transfers well and can walk but not reliably - meaning, when she is tired or decides to, will just sit down. So, mainly we walk in house to keep her strength and keep her active. Someone is always following behind with a wheelchair. She cannot navigate…
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I sent a friend over to this site
Her Dad has Alzheimer's and she needs to be here. My wife had it and passed,it will be a year on the 27th. I got a lot of help here, don't think I could have made it without your help. Hopefully she can get it here too, at least she can blow off steam here and get some good advice. Ken or Hoot
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New Here! Could use guidance!
My grandma is in year 3 of her VD diagnosis. She was recently moved into a MC unit of an AL facility. She has been there for about a month. Before moving her out she began picking at everything. Tearing apart furniture, floors, pictures, literally anything and everything. She also began to wander which was concerning. We…
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Transition to no longer living on own
Hi all, I am new to this. My MIL was recently diagnosed with ALZ (two weeks ago) and had been diagnosed a year prior with MCI. Prior to the ALZ diagnosis she had been living on her own working and driving part time. She is 84 and has been an independent and a strong woman as long as I have known her. The week after the…
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Early sign of dementia?
My father (75) is refusing to reimburse for a trip we took, because he believes my brother did not reimburse him for some items over 11 years ago. Over these 11+ years, there has been no mention of this debt, and my father has reimbursed my brother for his portion of several other trips. Possibly also related - my father…
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Recos for Certified Elder Care Attorney (CELA) in New York State?
We'd like to find a good CELA in New York State. Some questions: Do you know one you can recommend, or a good resource for finding one? What should we do to prep for our appointment once we find someone? Thanks in advance for any advice you can offer.
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Mom hiding diagnosis
Hello everyone. I'm new and I have a tricky situation. My grandma had Alzheimer's, so I know the signs. My Mom is 74 and has been having symptoms for 2 yrs. Repeating questions, forgetting things, not remembering places we've been, pets, etc. She gets super angry out of nowhere and she sleeps all day long. She has always…
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Angry, delusional, strong, undiagnosed, 80 year old mother
My 80 year old mother has had all of the symptoms of dementia for about three years and has refused to see a physician. For tge past six months, she has obsesses with a killer cat that is tormenting her pets and is currently making accusations of theft against a granddaughter. Her forgetfulness is a constant, but the…
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Caring for Mom
Hi there, I am thankful to be able to connect with other people who understand what caregiving is like. It's definitely exhausting, frustrating, etc. I've decided it's ok to feel whatever I'm feeling, I'm only human. I'm relying on my relationship with the Lord to see me through this. It's tough to let go of what you…
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I have Covid and haven’t been able to see my dad. I miss his hugs
Really missing my daddy today. I want to just hug him. I’ve had Covid for 9 days. At first it was nice to have a reason not to go everyday but now it’s killing me. I just need a hug from my dad. He doesn’t know my name but he knows I’m “his little girl”
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Ending Driving
Can anyone share how they were able to get their loved one to stop driving
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Refusing care
My mom lives with me, I’m 62 and she’s 84, I think she has dementia but I can’t get her to leave the house. She refuses to see a doctor stating there’s nothing wrong, says she’s dying and there’s nothing to be done. She’s been refusing solid food for many months only drinking ensure for sustenance and smoking. She really…
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Mom forgets that Dad has passed
We helped my mom move from her home of over 45 years into a retirement community last December. I'd say she's in Stage 5 of Alzheimer's, but still in independent living. She doesn't love it and hasn't embraced being around other people, mostly because she knows her memory is not good. She recently started forgetting…