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I made a mistake…
I made a huge mistake. Fortunately mom and I are ok. I don’t know what possessed me (denial, wishful thinking), but after she insisted I let her take a (very short) cab ride to the animal shelter. She did great; even picked up supplies at the nearby pet store. I was on the phone with her as she looked at cats. Told her to…
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Long stage 7
Hello all, I am new here. My dad is in end-stage dementia, stage 7, and on hospice in a care home. However, he is doing extremely well. This confuses me. He is incontinent, non-verbal, has mostly lost the ability to swallow correctly and has had aspiration pneumonia twice in 6 weeks. I just made the decision to put him on…
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Restaurants
Anyone have any recommendations for eating out at a restaurant with an ADLO, middle stage? Whenever we try to go out to eat with my dad, he is incredulous about the prices of food; not to mention having trouble with too many choices on the menu. Mom (his devoted wife of 56 years) helps him; suggesting things she knows he…
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Going backwards
My story is very long. But I’m going to give the short version. 3 years ago my uncle/Godfather came to me and asked me to go to work for him. After him asking me several times and me knowing it would mean so much to my Mom at the time who was very ill. I went to work for him. He had an a strained relationship with all 3 of…
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It’s lonely on the other side
My mom died a few months ago. It was so shocking. Even knowing ALZ is a leading cause of death, I didn’t really get that it would kill her, especially because she was otherwise in good health and still had abilities I assumed she would lose first (walking, talking, recognizing loved ones). But she fell and never walked…
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Is my mother an anomaly? (help with staging)
Hello All, I am new here. My 83 year old mom has come to live with me after the sudden passing of my stepdad. She used to live one state over, so I have no inkling of what stage she might be in concerning her dementia. I have had no contact with her previous doctor, nor do I have any medical records at this time. My mom…
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Mom went missing
So today my mom called a car dealership and they picked her up at assisted living and allowed her write a nonsufficient fund check for a car and gave her the keys. She drove off and four counties of people were looking for her before we found her. I’m just sick. She has been told she can’t drive but she doesn’t want to…
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Vent Post - CCRC Experience in NJ
Hi all, I just need to vent. I'm the daughter of a person with dementia, helping my dad, the primary caregiver, make some tough decisions on memory care placement for my mom. Long story short, after 6-7 months of me personally researching skilled nursing faciliites, CCRCs with AL, IL and Memory Care, I finally got Dad to…
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antipsychotic meds question (Seroquel and Zyprexa)
Advice requested: My dad is entering 7th week of Memory Care. In the last two weeks he has had 3 physical outbursts that have threatened his roommate and caregivers. Because of the last one, he was taken to ER and given Seroquel (without our permission). The facility took him back the next day (yesterday) after one dose;…
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Newbie
I'm new here because part of me is in denial. I got a call Friday from the nurse at her Speech therapist that my Mom wasn't safe. I've been told that she is not independently safe. She won't believe me because they haven't told her directly. She stayed with us & sometimes it was completely awful. She yelled. Said we were…
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Memory Care/ Positive Message
This is much longer than I intended. But I know many people struggle with guilt when the MC decision is raised. Suffice to say we went through the same heartbreaking and infuriating journey so many people here are going through. Elderly parent who lived alone, at the other side of the country and rejected all help and…
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Cutting Edge Care
https://dementiaallianceinternational.org/blog/balancing-risk-and-engagement-the-dutch-approach-to-dementia-design
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I am going crazy!
I am caring for my 90 year old mother who is transitioning from 6 to 7. She repeats herself constantly, cannot sit still for longer than 30 seconds, has no awareness of her difficulties, will undo what was just done, even if its something she needs. I am so frustrated. I know that she cannot help her behaviors and I try to…
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Dealing with the loss of a parent's beloved pet - any thoughts?
My mom's beloved Chihuahua passed away about a week ago following a long illness. Mom is now mired in depression, going between forgetting her dog died, wondering why she is sad, to bawling her eyes out. She is 79 and can't take care of another dog, although she can't understand why I would deny her another dog. My husband…
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Driving with Alzheimer’s
My father has Alzheimer’s he is pretty stubborn and controlling and does not understand that he needs to give up driving, everyone in our family is concerned but he still refuses to listen has anyone dealt with this?
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Upcoming visit
Not sure yet what to think about the new website. I was used to the other message board system. Soon, I am flying to my parents' home for a week long visit. Last month my dad, ADLO, was in the hospital a few days. I will see when I get there how he is doing; if the time in the hospital, and his increased confusion during…
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Neurologist follow up
Hi everyone me again. Happy 4th to all celebrating. My mom has a neurologist follow up appt next week. She has a primary care physician who is now aware of memory issues; endocrinologist aware of memory issues; and the neurologist is seeing her for 2nd time (first time was about 11 months ago and she’s deteriorated quite a…
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Best way to sell Mom's stuff
What's the best way to sell the contents of Mom's house? A few pieces of English antique furniture from the late 1800s, china and glassware sets, older cookware and utensils, 50-year old piano, her old iphone X, and nick-nack collections of owls and clowns. Hire someone? Who to look for? A garage sale in this neighborhood…
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Guardianship
Does anyone have any advice on how to get this? Is it hard to qualify? I’m worried my mom will decide she doesn’t want caregivers and we will just go in circles constantly. I can’t keep doing this. We are touring an assisted living facility tomorrow and I’m sure she will say no. It’s also expensive and I’ve reached out to…
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In accepting and angry
I am a mess! Both of my parents have dementia. My mom was diagnosed with alz a few years ago. They have been in memory care for six months. I have had conversations with them about what is happening. I have discussed having to sell their house. One minute they understand the next they don't. They do not remember permitting…
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Struggling with Mom's Alzheimers/Dementia
Hello! I am new to this group but grateful to have found this. Sorry for why we are all here but hoping to draw wisdom and strength from you all. Mom has been deteriorating for 4 years and despite my many efforts to get her help, she and my father have chosen to pretend nothing is happening. She is 82 and things are…
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Is Dad ready to transition to an Assisted Living Facility?
Hello everyone. I'm new here. My father was diagnosed with dementia 3+ years ago and has been living with me since then. I consider myself to be fairly patient and laid-back, but my dad has certainly tested these qualities more often recently. Financially, he doesn't qualify for MediCal but we also can't afford a facility…
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Anasognosia, denial, or fear?
I’ve seen a lot of threads about anasognosia, denial (LO deny there is anything wrong), and resistance to going to doctor for whatever reason. I still feel a bit baffled by the concept. My mom usually loves going to the doctor (lunch out, time with me, feeling seen). Except for the neurologist. She has fought making this…
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New member
Hello. I am new here. My father has dementia and terrible sundowners. He just recently went into a nursing home and this is very hard on me. I visit frequently and leaving him is the hardest. Most visits are good but today he was extremely sad when I was leaving so I cried the entire drive home. I wish I could help him but…
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Denial
I left my job 8 months ago to get my mom out of a memorycare facility because she hated it. Now she thinks that she can live on her own again. She doesn't understand that living with me or memory care are her only options. There are occasional times that we can talk and she understands but they are very few. I don't know…
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How to figure out the stage of Alz my mom is in....
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Trying to get your parent in for testing when they resist
So
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To all newcomers
I send you ALL my sincerest condolences and want you to know that you are not alone in this; for if you are visiting this site it means that you are caring for a parent who has been diagnosed with or who is experiencing symptoms of Alzheimer's. You are not alone in this challenge, for I am here to help in any way that I…
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My mama passed
On June 29, 2023 my mama passed away at 8:22 pm. I had been her full-time caregiver for almost 7 years. During that time I was also a college student. I saw my mama everyday during her illness. I didn’t want her to go on the journey alone. She was on in-home hospice for almost 2 years. The hospice my mama was with I feel…
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It’s a roller coaster ride
My mom is living with me and on in home hospice care. She is in late stage dementia, incontinent and almost completely unable to talk. Most of the time she cannot walk, so we use a transfer chair. She cannot figure out how to use the toilet either (most of the time ). But last night she got out of bed very quietly so I…