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New here- need advice
My mom passed away in November and she was my dad’s caregiver who have ALZ. She was at a loss in how to help him or deal with his issues as she was having health issues herself resulting in her passing. I am an only child and she hid how bad my dad’s dementia had gotten. I am at a loss myself. He confuses me with her…
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Dementia - toilet clogging in memory care
My mom is in the later middle stages. Age 72. Started in assisted living but moved into memory care wing about 6 months ago. The day she moved in she clogged the toilet and she has done it almost every day since. She never did it before when she was in Assisted Living. The staff at the facility offers no ideas on how to…
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Terrible night
We had a terrible night and I lost my patience completely. I’ve posted before about MIL’s dementia. She came to live with my spouse and I about 18 months ago. Prior to that she had been staying with her daughter and family. Everyone knew something was going on but it wasn’t until MIL came to stay here that we had an…
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Moms bad spending decisions
mom has been diagnosed with dementia. I pay her bills and handle her finances. i have durable power of attorney. mom wants to be very independent. she lives with my brother and he brings her to the bank to take out spending once a month. the problem is she often spends money on things she will never use. its not alot of…
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MY MOM HAS EXTREME PARANOIA TOWARDS ME
Hello-- 8months ago my Mom had an MRi done to her brain but there was no exact diagnosis based on the results of the MRI> We also saw a Neuro-Pysch-- and he only spent a few minutes with her and I had to be the one to tell the story about her accusing me of stealing her under garments, jewelries, clothing, remote control,…
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Obtaining POA in NYS
Hello everybody! I am stuck on how to obtain POA over my mother in NYS. There is so much info on all the different types of POA's my head is spinning. I know the easiest way would be to hire a lawyer, but I don't think I have the money for that. There are tons of "free" templates online, but they're never actually free.…
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Troubles sleeping
My mom hasn't been sleeping properly ever since her surgery near the end of December. The first few days of the first week of her recovery I understood. She was taking meds that made her drowsy at times so naturally her sleep patterns are going to get screwy. However, she stopped those meds 3 days in. She leveled out the…
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Any help appreciated
New to the group. My mom has VD. She has been sick for over a year and lives with me (4 years ). She has other health issues as well. 100% nutrition from a feeding tube. She can go from calm to upset within a few minutes. Anything you have found to bring back the calm. Sometimes walking away for 15 minutes helps.…
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Seeking advice for mom with ALZ
Hello, I’m looking for some advice regarding how I can better communicate with my mom who has early ALZ. She has trouble with memory, focus, finding her words, and misunderstanding our discussions…which leads to her thinking i said something I didn’t and creating conflict. I know I’m not supposed to say things like “Mom do…
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Mom doesn't want to be cared for
Hi, My name is Stephanie and live near Albuquerque, NM. I'm new to this forum and dealing with dementia in general. I recently brought my 81-year-old German mom to the US as she cannot care for herself anymore (middle? stage of Alzheimer/Dementia). Back in Germany, she was hospitalized twice in Aug and Oct 23 and the…
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Need help but don't know what to do
My grandfather is 84 years old and has had dementia for years now but has recently been declining rapidly so I moved him into my house where my mother takes care of him. He has hospice care so nurses show up twice a week to asess him but thats the only care they provide .She quit her job because he needs fulltime support…
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New to this forum
Hi everyone, my name is Patty, My mom has Dementia/alzheimers. I still don’t understand the difference between both. My mom is 76 and she was diagnosed in her 60’s. I am the oldest of 3. My father is her full time caregiver. He is having a really hard time as he has lost his wife in essence. The good thing is I live 5…
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Sundowning
I care for my 94 year old mom. I was the caregiver for both parent but my dad past away 2 years ago. My mom has dementia and sundowning is bad in the evenings. She wants to go home. Yes, I have done all things I'm suppose to do. The lighting, sounds etc. Nothing works. She bangs that walker and trys to get out of the…
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Hot to know when
My mom is currently in an assisted living facility. She has been diagnosed with ALZ and has been living with it for about 4 years now. I live in another city and my mom lives in the same city as my brother who is the main care giver at the moment. The assisted living facility is about 4k per month. The Memory care unit in…
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mom's delusion
Mom says our home, where she lives, is my husband's work & she's an employee answering phones. She's mad about not getting paid. I don't know what to do. I feel like she's seriously mad. As many times as we say it's not true, it does no good. I guess it's because my husband does work from home, so in her mind it's a place…
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LO Actively Refuses to Socialize
Hi everyone! I hope you all had very happy holidays, and a happy new year! My mama (diagnosed with early stage Alzheimer's) has always been a social butterfly. However, due to Covid-19 and her diagnosis, has become quite sheltered. I've been told multiple times how socializing is key for a person with Alzheimer's/Dementia…
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Looking for a therapist for me, the oldest daughter
I've been dealing with the emotional toll of the long goodbye to my mother with dementia and my angry, old-school father. Fortunately, mom is receiving excellent care in a facility and dad is in an apartment in the same complex. But I'm tired of ranting to my husband, grown children and friends. I'm tired of the bouts of…
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Only Child Stuggling 2 weeks in as CareGiver For My Mother w/Dementia
Hello everyone, I have a friend we referred me to this forum. I hope this will be a great outet for me as I am just a ball of meltdowns everyday. An ER viist on Dec. 14 turned into a week stay in the hospital afterwards my life changed forever. My mom was dx with early signs of Dementia 2 years ago with mild memory loss.…
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Need Advice/Direction on How to Proceed with My Mother
My mom has been diagnosed w/dementia, probably ALZ as her mother & all her aunts have had it. She's 91. During the last year she's given my sister her health POA. My sister lives with my parents & suffers from mental illness. My sister is in denial of my mom's diagnosis & has encouraged my mom to stop seeing her…
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Elder Care lawyer-What to ask
Could you please share with me what questions you would ask of a certified elder care lawyer. I am meeting one on Jan. 15th re: my sister who has Alz. Thanks in advance for any thoughts/suggestions/advice.
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I am lost at what to do now.
My father has been diagnosed with dementia. My sister and I also believe my mom has dementia too. Everyday she forgets what she wants to say. And she doesn't remember to take her medications. I went to a few doctor appointments with my mom but now she has told us she doesn't want my sister or I getting involved with…
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Venting
It's been 4 months since my mom moved here to my neck of the woods. She moved away from her home of 40 years, her things, her friends, the sunshine, warmth and the ocean. She was worried that when the time came, when dementia was in full swing and she was stuck in SC, she would be all alone. Yet, she's so very unhappy…
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Are there things that helped you cope?
Hi I'm new here, my mom had been showing signs for over 2 years now. This summer they finally diagnosed her with dementia, I forget the exact type but they believe it was caused by her sleep apnea and not controlling her diabetes which decreased blood flow to her brain. Regardless it has definitely progressed quicker than…
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Convincing LO to Move
New here and need help... 4 months ago, I came to my parent's house out of state thinking I was going to support my parents for a few weeks, working remotely, for my mom's knee replacement surgery. Long story short, I have been back home for 56 hours because my mother fell and fractured 4 ribs, contracted asymptomatic…
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Hospice at home
Hello. My mom has started hospice. Currently staying at my brother's home. Dad can't handle the care. Mom had a UTI about 2 weeks ago. Got antibiotics in the ER and sent home with meds, since then she had declined. I mean rapidly. And now we have a hospice nurse that "stops in". In the last 2 days mom has become bed ridden…
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How many of you are still recognized by your LO?
My mom has NPH and dementia (not sure what type). She now no longer reliably recognizes me or, most commonly, she thinks there is more than 1 of me. Like the me she talks to on the phone is different from the me in person. One is her daughter and one someone else. The day after I brought her back to MC she told them I was…
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Surgery and possible progression
I already suspected that my mom was progressing from mild to moderate, but after a surgery, things have become even more noticeable, but it's also unknown whether the surgery was a factor. But now I'm also worried she might be going even further than moderate. Her sleeping got a little screwed up due to meds making her…
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It feels like there are no good choices
Hello, I'm new here. I originally posted in the caregiver group, but I don't think it's very active. I could use some support. My mother with Alzheimers lives with my 89 yr old father in an Assisted Living facility nearby. She is still full of life. She is the sweetest and most loving mother. We still have a wonderful time…
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Advice or suggestions.
I'm taking care of my 90 year old Grandma. I have 2 kids aged 14 and 8. My grandma has dementia but for the most part very much in her right mind and self sufficient. Some days tho she thinks my 8 yr old wants her things or goes into her room and I know he doesn't as I have a camera in there but she doesn't get it and it…
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Does my income hurt my mother's medicaid eligibility?
If my mother lives with me, does my income count against her ability to qualify for medicaid? I am a physician and caregiver for my mother who is in the early stages of dementia right now. I am thinking ahead and wondering if she lives with me, whether my income and assets will be an impediment toward her ability to get…