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medical waiver for memory care
Hello everyone, Just joined today, I've been caring for my mom who has Alzheimer's for 6 years now, she lives with us, but she is progressing rather quickly now and I just can't do it any more. I've been trying to get her into a memory care facility but most are private pay. I was told to get a medical waiver but there is…
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Dealing with Family Members
Hello, I need help with dealing with my sister who puts a lot of stress on me regarding our mother's care. She decided to move to Florida 1 year ago to take care of herself, understandably, because she had cancer. Her doctor encouraged her to quit working and to avoid stress. I'm the primary caregiver for my mom, but I do…
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ER, diagnosis, grief
In the ER with my mom. As everyone suspected, this hasn’t gone well. Today she tried to leave the AL - I was with her about to meet personal caregiver. We never got to the lobby - she panicked, left, walked down the street, into a store, refused to go back saying it was unsafe. Staff members, nurse, and director stayed…
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Elderly Mother having episodes
Hi everyone I am here with a sad and heavy heart. My 74 yr old mother who lives quite a distance from me is having episodes with what I believe is Dementia. My younger sister is with her and she has health issues of her own. in the past three months my mom has been getting worse. This morning I spoke with her and she told…
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Antihistamines to Calm down Dementia Aggressiveness?
Hi, My FIL has some form of dementia, I don't know what his diagnosis was and neither my husband or his siblings seem to know. FIL is 92 and gets very physically aggressive and verbally abusive with his aides (and his family). He was started on Serequel 100 mg at night and 25 mg in the morning. Family didn't like that he…
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Online Fraud and Scams
Our father just had his second attempted scam. I was lucky enough to be walking past his room when I heard the discussion he was having over the phone. He allowed someone access to his computer to "run a virus" check. We ended the call and have contacted his credit card company, banks, and financial planner. We don't want…
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Jekyll and Hyde - Is this normal?
My dad was diagnosed with VD this year, he moved into a nice AL facility in February with, on the whole, good aids and nurses. I'll start off by saying my dad has never had a sunny disposition. Many times a week when I call him or visit, he tells me how miserable he is at his AL, and when I ask him what's going on, he…
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Moving loved one into MC
I am trying to move my mother into MC and after being very passive, she is now adamant about staying in her house (she says is her mothers who has been dead for over 55 years). How do you make this change as seamless as possible? :s :s
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Incontinence denial
I moved my dad in AL about 6 weeks ago. He's started having incontinence issues and is peeing himself all the time. He was already extremely stubborn before the dementia. He denies that he's peeing himself, refuses to wear diapers, refuses any assistance with showering or changing. If they tell him his clothes are covered…
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Dad (primary) starting to sound impatient with me (secondary)
Hello! Secondary caregiver/daughter here with questions about some new family discord that's forming between me and my father, who's the primary for my mother who has moderate/severe dementia ("probably" Alzheimers) as well as recently diagnosed giant cell arteritis. Recently Dad has started sounding impatient with me, and…
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I want to be finished
Today I went to a funeral of my friend's mother. I was jealous. JEALOUS! How horrible am I? I think very. She lost her dad three years ago. Her mom wasn't all that sick, just unlucky with a case of pneumonia. I lost my mom over 10 years ago (to cancer) and have been dealing with my dad's illness for close to 8 years now. I…
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Trying to get my mom to stop driving and except my son moving in and helping her
My mom is living in a new city for about 3 years since my dad died. She is scared to drive too far and complains all the time about it, which is fine with me because she was not driving safely before. She was going 25 in a 45 speed zone. She only drives on a back street that runs from her house behind major stores and…
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Transition from one MC to another - Guilty and Venting
My DH and I moved from California to Arizona. After we were settled, at about 6 weeks, I went back to CA to fly my Mom to AZ. I am the now the only child and the POA for Mom. The trip through the airport, the security, the airplane ride, arriving at the new MC facility all went smoothly. Mom lived in the moment and enjoyed…
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Parent diagnosed in January
Hi I am new here and feeling completely overwhelmed! My mother was diagnosed in January but the woman that tested my mother felt she has had Alz. for awhile. I am one of four siblings and 3 of the 4 live in the same city. We have divided up between us each taking a day or a portion of a day to help my mom. Errands,…
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Mom wants to change her will
Hello, Please bear with me as it's my first time posting. My mom is 91, and was recently diagnosed with moderately severe dementia. My dad died of pancreatic cancer in March, and this is the first time she has lived alone in 68 years. We have noticed signs of forgetfulness and unreasonable paranoia for the last couple of…
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New to this
My mom is currently in a skilled nursing facility due to the fact she fell down the stairs a month ago and suffered a traumatic brain injury. She is currently getting OT, PT and speech therapy but her cognitive abilities are seemingly declining. Neurologist hasn't said a particular type of dementia or if it is in fact…
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Professional Hairstylist
Hello I live in Philadelphia, Pa in West Philadelphia. I am a caregiver along with my other family members for my 77yr old Mom who was diagnosed with Alzheimer's. We are looking for a professional hairstylist who's willing to come to the house and do her hair; someone who's caring, compassionate and most of all patient. We…
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Shunt responsive NPH
neurologist just called and said looking at imaging she is fairly certain the diagnosis is shunt responsive NPH. I have an appt with neurosurgery at the top hospital next week which I already made because this neurologist was terrible and never called me back (this is the first time after having seen my mom 9 months and 1…
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At Home Care- Language/Hearing Barrier
Hello! I am new here and hoping to find some recommendations in the Dallas area. My mom has early onset and some good days and some bad days lately. Her doctor said she needs companionship at all times, but that's very hard on me and my sister as we work full time jobs. She lives with my sister and because I work from…
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Advice needed - what’s appropriate expectations?
Hi everyone, I need some advice. My mom moved last November into a “hospitality style” senior living facility with independent living, assisted living, and memory care. It’s one building in a large city. So far it has been great - most residents have memory issues of some kind. She is somewhere between IL and AL - stepped…
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My Mom
Hi. I'm new to this forum. I place my mom in a MC facility in May. It was the hardest thing I've ever had to do in my life. I still have guilty feelings about it that I'm trying to work through. She seems to be doing well right now. She is 74 years old. She has scoliosis and osteoporosis very bad but she is able to walk.…
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Neurologist
Hi, How often do you take your parent to the neurologist. I don't see the need since his PC is a geriatrician and can handle his meds. What would be the need? Am I doing the wrong thing? Thanks, M
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One more question…….should I talk to him over phone?
I didn’t bring his phone to the AL because he doesn’t remember how to use it and if he does finally figure it out he calls me over and over and over again. I told him I was going out of town so I haven’t called him. I was going to go tomorrow but delayed my visit so it won’t be as hard for him. Should I call him through…
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Navigating NYC area memory care?
My 93 year old mother-in-law has severe dementia (stage 6?) and is in nursing home rehab after a hospitalization. Next step is likely memory care facility or nursing home. Is MC considered a subset of AL? Is a nursing home different than MC? It's all a bit confusing to navigate — and rehab apparently will only last 28 days…
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My mother is either lying or confused about things she does
Hello, my mother is 85 and has been diagnosed with dementia. Her main issues is that she has very poor hygiene and when I ask her about brushing her teeth or changing her disposable underwear as well as eating and taking her medicine. She insists she is doing these things however I can tell she is not because the…
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My dad has dementia and is getting worse every month. I need someone to talk to.
My dad has had dementia tia for a while but this year it's getting much worse, and worse by the month. My sister has out herself in charge of finding a facility for my parents ..which I am grateful for.. my parents live 10hr drive from me as does my sister. We are all spread apart. The idea is to move them near my sister…
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medications
Hi everyone, I'm reaching out for advice, experience, etc. My step father is in a memory care facility with somewhere middle to late stage 6 Alz. He has to have total assistance in his daily dressing and bathroom needs. He is double incontinent. He can feed himself. He can actually read the names on the doors of each…
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Today my mother fell into a complete delusion and psychosis
It’s the weekend and I absolutely do not know what to do or where we should go to get my mom help since her Alzheimer’s doctor me office is closed but she has fallen into a complete psychosis. She is 62. She has early Alzheimer’s and although she is completely forgetful this is all absolutely new behavior and she keeps…
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Trying to deal with parent
I believe my 87 year old mother has alzheimers. She hasnt been diagnosed with it but my sister and I have noticed signs that she has it. Her mother had it and it was really bad and hard to watch but now that we think my mom has it we dont really know how to handle things with her. She gets angry very easy and throws temper…