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My Mom has Dementia and now hates my Father
Hello! I'm new here. My Mom has dementia and directs all her anger at my father. He is a wonderful, patient man that takes care of her everyday (we are currently trying to get her into assisted living). She calls me everyday bashing him about how he takes all her clothes, pushes her around and throws out all her important…
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Sleep deprivation
My mom wakes me up several times a night saying “ I need help!”. Sometimes she’s worried that the cats going to fall off the bed, sometimes she’s cold even though it’s very warm in the house, sometimes she has no reason. I’m SO tired all the time. It’s difficult keeping my cool & staying patient with her. How do others…
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How to care for totally uncooperative parent
My sister and I care for our 101 year old dad. He is almost always uncooperative with everything we try to do to care for him. Most days I would rather wrestle an alligator than dress him. He has recently almost totally stopped walking and he no longer has control of his bowels. He fights us when we try to clean him up…
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Ice Cream
Hello, I live with my mom who is mid stage 6. Her *new behavior* is troublesome. I need to know if I should just let it go. Every night after we go to bed, I fall asleep, but she is up many times through the night...eating ice cream. I woke to 6 bowls in the sink and 2 empty containers in the trash =1 whole gallon this…
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Worn Out
My Mom is 80. One night almost 8 years ago, she seemed to have a stroke & even flatlined. She was at the hospital for 3 days with horrific hallucinations & nothing was being done until she tried “escaping” and ran into other [patient’s] room. A psychiatrist was called in & he determined she was severely depressed &…
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Mom is aspirating on solid food.
Hello everyone, My Mom has been an ALZ patient for 5 years. Recently she has been choking on her food and aspirating. She has recently returned to her nursing home after being in the hospital for aspiration and pneumonia. The doctor has ordered her to be on a pureed food diet. The problem is that she hates the food and…
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Moving LO to another state
Has anyone had to move their LO to a new facility in a different state? My mom lives about 4 hours away and I am looking into moving her into a memory care facility by me. Does anyone have any recommendations for arranging transportation? Thank you.
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Need help for Mom in denial
My dad has Alzheimer's, and is in stage six. Mom refuses to get help from others, and she is in denial that we need to pay a caregiver to watch out for him. Dad has been such a huge part of her life, and I know that if we get a caregiver, for Mom, it would be like admitting that Dad is going to go soon. Is there anyway to…
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Flying blind
Mom was diagnosed about 4 years ago. We've been using her geriatric primary care doc. When I asked him if we should find a Neurologist, he said they wouldn't do anything for her that he couldn't do. But I feel like I'm flying blind and don't know what to expect next. Should I find a Neurologist for more specific guidance?…
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Toilet behaviors...
Dad had started putting toilet paper in the trash can instead of the toilet, so I took the trash can out of the bathroom. Then he started putting little balls of paper in the fake plants. So, those are gone from his bathroom. He puts little balls of paper in his pockets, or under the sink now. I have been trying to remind…
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"I can't do this"
My 83 yo Mom has alzheimers. She often repeats the phrase "I can't do this" when she gets frustrated or confused. Sometimes she says "I can't do this anymore", over and over. Does anyone else's loved one say this? Does it mean she is giving up?
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Obsessive Behavior
Hello. This is my first post and it may have been discussed elsewhere. My Father is in what o believe the middle stage of dementia. He is very obsessed with toilet paper. Like he’s so worried about peeing himself, which he doesn’t, that he loads his pants down with toilet paper. He wears depends and a pad. Then shoves a…
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Staring off in to space
My dad has been living with us since mid-pandemic (9/2020) and used to like listening to music and reading cooking magazines in the mornings no problem. I have tried lots of things, like folding towels - his executive function isn't there anymore so he can't do that, coloring - he hates that, he has never liked puzzles…
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Not using the toilet
My almost 79 year old mother is going to the bathroom in a bucket because she thinks we’ve had a guy out at the house stating that the plumbing is bad. I’ve tried putting notes up in each of the bathrooms that the plumbing is working. I’ve told me mother that I’m not using a bucket as my bathroom. Anything I say her…
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Hallucinations? Late stage
Hello all, My mom has stage six if not stage seven, but she has been having hallucinations for quite some time, almost a few years now. She believes she has sons (I am her only child), and that there are people coming over or are already here. She used to buy food for them when we still let her do the shopping. Now they…
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Can patient on hospice move to better facility
My mother with dementia is in a nursing home and now has hospice care. My Father was there with her/ same room, and he was communicating for her, but he passed away. Her care is not as good now. They do not have memory care there. Also she keeps falling, probably on her way to bathroom. Will she now qualify for better…
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Resources for nursing home patient
My mother has Altheimer's and was admitted to a Nursing Home facility just few weeks ago. I have researched in my area and couldn't find a place with bilingual staff and/or bilingual patients. I wonder if there is a local resource that provides visitation for patients like my mom who don't speak English. My mom's native…
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Bible Verse To Lift You Up 4/24/23
“TRAILING CLOUDS OF GLORY” * John 1:12 New Living Translation But to all who believed him and accepted him, he gave the right to become children of God. * “Humans are more than flesh and blood. We are of the divine. We come, as Wordsworth said, ‘trailing clouds of glory…from God, who is our home.’ And when we pass from…
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Moving my dad into MC
We are moving my 94 year old father into MC. I don't know how to tell him this. He won't remember the conversation 10 minutes later and will get extremely agitated in the moment. The thought of taking him there and leaving him is tearing me apart. I hate thinking of him being there all confused, not knowing where he is or…
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Daughters caregiver rights Hawaii ,Pay has been cut off .
I am the youngest daughter careing for my 83 yr old mom with middle stage dementia ( not formally diagnosed).She has been living in my cottage for 1 year now with her 15 year old dog ,the love of her life.After a Small bowel obstuction surgery and 10 days in the hospital ,my mom had quite a big decline in her memory and…
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Getting parents in CCRC
My mom has advanced alzheimers with mixed dementia. My quadruple bypass diabetic type 2 father is her primary caregiver and he refuses to plan long term for him or hers. My mom needs 24 hour care and he refuses to do anything about it other than a having one woman from care.com come in a few hours a week to cook for him.…
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Feeling guilt and questioning my decision
I’m feeling immense guilt about how to take care of my 77 yo mom. She lives alone in an apartment and I live about 30 min away. I am a 39 yo stay at home mom to 3 young children (ages 3, 9, 11). My mom just got diagnosed with Alzheimer’s after 3 years of my sister and I noticing serious memory changes. She is intelligent…
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How to get your parent to a SNF when they refuse to go
I'm new here & so thankful I found this forum! I have been caring for my 88yr old mom for over 2 years now. Diagnosed with Alzheimer's in July 2023. Steady decline since then, and last night was the realization that now is the time for SNF. She had a terrible outburst of anger, agitation and aggression and I feel that it…
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Siblings relationships
My husband and I have two parents with Alzheimers/dementia. Brain changes. How do other handle the following, my mom calls my oldest brother repeatedly from the home where she lives with his son and daughter and begs for him to take to his home. His is 73 with COPD. He is going to stop answering her calls, and I encouraged…
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Thankful we're not alone! (Just found this group/YOU!)
My dad (88) is at home with my mom (87). He has Alz. & needs 24 hr care now, because he'll just stand up & be on his way somewhere & doesn't have good balance & would fall over if we weren't there to catch him. 24hr care is not sustainable financially. My husband & & live 30 min. away & are covering some of the 12 hr…
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Vascular dementia
End of the road, stage 7 or still stage 6, really doesn't matter anymore. I visit my mother several times a year. We live in different states. I have watched her decline over the last 4 years with vascular dementia. I have been here for her surgeries, doctor appointments, to move her to different rooms, from assisted…
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Guardianship
I am the middle child, and the only girl. My mom has appointed me POA for both health and financial. Of course there has to one sibling that will not play by the rules, my oldest brother. He has recently purchased a vehicle in my mothers name. She didn't know what the heck was going on when I asked her about it and neither…
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Having "the talk" with your parent
Hi, I'm new here and was hoping to get some guidance on how to officially tell my mom that she is having memory/cognitive issues. She hasn't received an official diagnosis from a medical professional, but her primary care doctor and that doctor's nurse both know that she is having issues. She also just has some cognitive…
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Medical terminology
Can someone please help me understand this in laymen’s terms.
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I love my mom, but my dad is my hero
I'm at a loss at this point of the "right" decision. My mother was diagnosed with Alzheimer's 5 years ago. I moved a few states away last year when my father began calling and asking if it was possible for me to come back. I have 3 worthless brothers that live an hour or less away. I finally came home in January after…