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1st visit to Neurologist
Hi, my dad and I are taking my mom to her first appointment with a Neurologist next week. Being that this is our first time and she will not have a clue as to why she is going we wondering what to expect during this 1st visit. What has others 1st visit been like?
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Asset protection help
My mom has early onset (age 62) and is declining rapidly. We are starting to have someone come into her home to help, but she will need a facility soon. She has a fair amount of money in her bank account, about 300k in her 401k, plus a pension for an unknown amount right now. I talked to our attorney, but it seems like our…
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Actively dying(1)
I'm not sure what I'm asking here because watching someone die is new to me. I've had other loved ones on hospice but I was not their 24/7 caregiver. Are there signs that are universal as far as where a person is on the actively dying timeline? My mom has been on hospice since Dec. She has been been bedridden…
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Groundhog Day... repetitive phone calls
Hello fellow caregivers, I didn't know if I should post this or not because it seems so petty compared to others' posts, but my mother who has Alzheimer's continues to call my brother and I up to 20 times a day each. It is because about 2 months ago, we took away her checkbook as one of the last pieces of control under our…
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Moving my BIL turning into slow-moving nightmare
I'm in the process of packing selected belongings and moving my BIL to a memory-care apartment very near our (my wife and I) home. Every minor thing that can go wrong has. The minivan rental I'd arranged fell through. The alternative company doesn't have one available until tomorrow (if then). So I had to phone the…
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Help with identifying when Loved one is lost
Hi Everyone, I haven't been on this forum for 3 years now since my Mom had her drivers license taken away. She still living at home, and we moved closer to her. She still heats up her TV dinners in the microwave and heats up soup on the stove. She goes 1 day a week to the Adult day program and 1 day a care giver comes and…
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Aggression(2)
My father moved into a memory care community in August 2020. He has unspecified dementia and he is progressing rather quickly. He is mostly non-verbal; however, in the past 6 weeks he has become more territorial and concerned about others getting to close to him. This has escalated in him grabbing another resident by the…
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This May Sound Terrible, But....
As I have posted previously, we just placed Mom in a NH. We should have started when the doctors told us nearly 2 years ago; we didn't, we tried 'love-management'. It doesn't work. So many lessons, one being, follow the science. If you trust their doctor, and the doctor says start looking into facilities, start the look…
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Caregiver Apps(1)
Hi All Does anyone have recommendations for a good caregiver app? There seem to be a few - I have been playing with a few on my iPhone (zelar, ianacare, sproutcare), wondering if there was something a bit more comprehensive than those that people have had good luck with. Alan
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A little demoralized today
I'm a bit demoralized today. My brother-in-law has EO, and I came up to New York to take care of him while we worked out the details of his move to near my wife and I. I love my wife, but her natural tendencies are not toward caregiving. I came up here because it became obvious that her brother would wind up hospitalized…
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Spouse's Anger
I'm dealing with my dad who is in a MC facility and has issues of his own but also with my mom who has 63+ years of anger toward my dad from various things in their marriage and living on her own for the first time, that is preventing her from going to visit him or talk to him on the phone. I've tried to give her space but…
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Profile Story
On your profile, on the Story tab, please include minimal information and make it available. Knowing something about the patient, your relationship to him/her, and how involved you are in their care and decision making, can make it easier for others to give you more informed advice.
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Do you hold it all in when your family doesn’t care?
I’m in inner turmoil & my own worst enemy because I can’t get over the lack of care & concern from the family. I can’t shake it & it consumes me 24/7. Her condition worsens , I make it known & still nothing . I’d like to scream at them all & tell them all to go to hell ! I keep it all in because it will crush her if my…
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Medicaid bookkeeping question
About a year ago, when I took over the care of my mom, I consulted with a CELA who is very respected among ALZ families in our area. He looked over my mom's finances, assured us we had everything properly organized, and said she had at least 3 years' of care expenses. I was skeptical. Maybe 3 years of AL but not 3 years of…
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Seeking advice - conservatorship
If you have gone through conservatorship, I am wondering if you have advice. My aunt is in CA and I am in MN. She is going to be notified tomorrow by courier that this is happening and the hearing (via Zoom) is a week from today. She is going to be confused and angry and she won't really understand what is happening - only…
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Just tired.
I know I'm terrible, but I am spent! No, I'm not mom's 24/7 caregiver - but I do a lot! I take care of all of my mom's medical and financial issues. My mom is in moderate to severe level demetia. I also take care of all of my sister's medical issues. That includes driving them to all appointments and going in with them to…
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Caregiver Obsessively Negative
I am having difficulty dealing with my dad's constant negativity and his constant need to bring up over and over my mother's Alzheimer's condition and how much it hurts that she is suffering from Alzheimer's. My mom was diagnosed with Alzheimer's at 52 years old. She has had it for 7 years now. She is still able to feed…
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Nobody want will take LO
I'm at my wit's end! My MIL is in the later stages of Alzheimer’s, she is 84 and was still living at home with her husband of 64 years. She kept getting worse as far as combativeness, making everyone including herself miserable. She doesn't sleep and won't let her 85-year-old husband sleep. He was EXHAUSTED and would just…
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Hot Cold
It's too hot or too cold. The HVAC system "is not working and needs to be fixed." Doesn't believe the thermostat or has trouble dealing with it.
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Finding an ophthalmologist
Hi, I am new to the message board. I volunteer as a Community Educator for the Alzheimer's Association, and I oversee the care of my oldest sister who has Alzheimer's. Recently she appears to have difficulty seeing things on her left side. Has anyone taken someone with dementia to an ophthalmologist in the Virginia…
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Helpful Safety Checklist
After a week or so from you-know-where, that I posted about in the Spouse's forum we are back home and DH is almost back to baseline. That means, I'm back to my own "normal", which means trying to stay one step ahead of Alzheimer's dementia and the twists & turns it throws our way. Today, I ran across this helpful safety…
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In search of a full time aide
Hello! My mom was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s last August. She lives with my father on long island, ny. However my dad is 84 and it is very difficult to care for my mom. My 3 siblings and I all live out of state. We were able to take turns to visit my parents to help with caregiving. However, this became difficult and so we…
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Medicube to give away
Hi, I'm new here and will not be a member for long as my wife has already passed. She died of some form of dementia on the 15th of May, I was a long haul truck driver and was only home about 4 days a month so didn't notice anything wrong until I retired 3 years ago. She was apparently able to pull thing together while I…
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When/How do you decide that visits do more harm than good?
First it was the telephone. I've quit calling my mom as much as I used to because I think that it's more frustration than it's worth. She can't hold a conversation on the phone. I ask if she enjoyed her visit the day before from my son and daughter and she doesn't remember. I think it made her sad. And she can't answer…
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Sundowning - Benefit of Geriatric Psychiatrist
My mom's "sundowning" is increasing. It is starting earlier in the day and the episode is lasting longer, and it is an every day occurrence. She wants to go home, not realizing that where she is is home. She thinks home is where her mother, siblings or children are, but doesn't know where that is. Has anyone used a…
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My Father and the Same Stories Repeated
I grew up with grandparents telling stories. They were all funny and gave me a sense of history and the love in the family. My Dad was diagnosed with Dementia in February. He has short-term memory loss and forgets words - gets confused. He's 20/30 on the scale. My Dad is also very ... self-focused. He tells stories about…
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How Do I Handle Anger and Mean Words?
I need help dealing with my sister's anger. In her worst confrontation she dropped F-bombs. She was demanding to go home. She even spelled it out H-O-M-E, home! Several nurses in the home came and went, trying to assist. My sister's youngest daughter was trying her best to reason with my sister. The last nurse who came in…
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Bible Verse to Lift You Up 6/28/21
GOD ANSWERS PRAYER * Luke 6:12-13 NIV The Twelve Apostles "12 One of those days Jesus went out to a mountainside to pray, and spent the night praying to God. 13 When morning came, he called his disciples to him and chose twelve of them, whom he also designated apostles..." * me: Each one of us need to pray for the Father's…
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First time posting…how do you help when they won’t let you
Hi, I apologize in advance for the length of this! Where to start!?! MIL (78) appears to have dementia/Alzheimer’s. She lives 1500 miles away from 2 of her children. Lives with her husband (who is not in good health) and nearby her other daughter who has MS. She does not go to the doctor hardly ever. We’ve noticed over the…
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Finding AL/MC for verbally and physically aggressive
My sister’s 82 year old partner with probably stage 5/6 dementia has been in and out of ER, hospital and nursing home several times over last couple of months. He of course doesn’t really understand what is happening and he has been verbally and sometimes physically aggressive to the health care workers and other patients.…