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grief
There was an opinion piece in USAToday called "Driving My Spouse to the Afterlife" today. It really struck me. I had been grappling with saying "goodbye" to my mother over the past couple of months, even though she continues to be fairly healthy. But, she is no longer who she was. And I have felt profound grief in the loss…
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Sad and frustrated!
Hi all, my mom just had an appointment with a geriatric psychiatrist. She has yet to be diagnosed with dementia. We were hopeful this would be the appointment that would give us some answers. Mom wouldn’t let us go to the appt, so we wrote a detailed letter of what has transpired over the last year. The nurse met with mom…
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APAM and turn
Just bought an alternating pressure air mattresses as suggested by our members here. My question is if I still need to turn LO? like at least once at night?
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How to choose?
I’ve started touring facilities for my mom. My question is how do you decide which one will be ok? I have no real idea of what stage my mom is in. I take care of her 24/7. Here in MT, they say she can either go to AL or MC. I’m so torn on which to choose. She doesn’t communicate well so that’s a huge concern of mine.…
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Namenda question and Good Days/Bad Days
My Mom had a neurological appointment this week and during that visit based on her progression the doc advised she was well into stage 6. I had been thinking she was stage 5 or early stage 6. She still walks fine, speaks, can follow conversations, feeds herself mostly appropriately and has times where she is oriented fully…
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difficult evenings and not wanting to get out of bed
Hello! New to this site and hoping to learn from others. My mom has alzheimer's and lives in a nursing facility. Evenings are difficult due to sundowning and she will have increased anxiety, confusion, and yelling. Typically starts around 4ish and when staff get her up for supper. Mom would prefer to sleep and be left…
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Depakote added with Seroquel
Has anyone had a loved one that takes both Depakote and Seroquel? If so, I am wondering what reaction you see in the person you care for that takes both medications, and was it also for agitation and aggression? DH is already on Seroquel but the Neurologist suggested adding Depakote along with Seroquel for DH anxiety and…
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Looking For Volunteers
Is there a website I can go to where I can look for a volunteer in my area to help relieve us during the day for a couple of hours or so? My dad is REALLY getting stressed out and tired. He tries to escape every minute he can. I am about to graduate college in 4.5 weeks and my chemistry class has me super busy so lately I…
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LO Still Trying to Help
My dad has always been very handy and always fixed things around the house himself. He just can't do it anymore. For example, the cable stopped working so he tried to fix it and ended up yanking the phone cord out of the jack. So then the phone was broke but neither he or my mom knew why. A version of this scenario has…
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Family members who refuse to be involved
I’m disabled and caring for my dad with some help from my mom who is also disabled. We’re struggling hard to keep up with everything. My sibling has totally refused to be involved even though they have more resources than we do. Is this a common thing for a family member to just refuse to help? Do they ever come around? Am…
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Im new to this....
Hello.... I have had to put my mom in a nursing home as of the middle of last month. This is after a time being spent in Laureate trying to figure out why she was catatonic and deeply depressed. She had been hearing voices, at times she believed it was even me or "the Father" telling her things. Come to find out this…
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Memory Care visits causing distress for mom..?
Hi everyone, I am hoping that those of you who have or had LO's in Memory Care can offer some insight and/or advice about visits with your LO that seem to be doing more harm than good? My mom was moved to a beautiful Memory Care facility in February due to numerous falls and worsening dementia. She seems to be adjusting…
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Need communication ideas
Good morning, I am new to this group and am excited to be here. My mother is in mid stages of VD. She is obsessing about going to her old home to clean it out to sell it. I have already done this myself and have communicated it previously to her but she insists on going there. Everyone I tt says to redirect, make up…
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Dad caring for Mom with Alzheimer’s won’t let us help
I just found out yesterday that my mom received a Alzheimer’s diagnosis several years ago. Her memory has been getting steadily worse, but . . . she’s 91, so it didn’t seem so odd. It’s a lot to absorb, but the problem I’m struggling with isn’t my mom. It’s my dad, her caregiver. He is 88 and likely dealing with mental…
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Covid and facility activities?
For those of you experienced with AL and MC facilities, were group activities or the like put on hold in 2020 due to covid? Were your LOs alone some of the time that was usually used for activities or socialization? I’m just curious, thanks for any response.
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anxiety attack/panic attacks
My mom has Alz and VD. Has been relatively stable the last 6 months. Then she got the second Moderna vaccine shot and things just seem to have gone haywire. coincidence, possible. We do see the geri psych on Friday, so only a few more days. And I have been in touch with her already as well. But the day after the shot,…
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How to get LO to keep on Depends?
Any and all suggestions are welcomed. She is taking them off more and more. Soiling/wetting the bed and furniture. Dad is having a hard time keeping up with this problem.
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New - need to hear from smartr people than me
As a (the) caregiver - right now my mind is so overwhelmed I don't even understand how I can feel this way, so lost -- so helpless - so completely beaten (it seems). Thanks for listening - I can't 'comprehend' feeling so ignorant, so inadequate. I 'Know' many of you know of what I speak. I've always been a person of action…
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Just need to vent(5)
Hi all...just wondering if anybody else has ever felt like you can't do this caregiver thing one more day. My mom is 92 I am 65. .I brought her home from assisted living in Jan. She had been there for 3 yrs one whole year of no visits because of covid. I felt guilty so I took money out if her account and bought a house so…
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Do I nee to encourage my grandma to dress up by herself or should I do it for her?
My grandma is in the middle and late stage of Alzheimer/dementia. She has very hard time dressing up by herself. E.g. putting sweater or any top on, any socks or pants. It takes her about 10 minutes to put hands into sleeves, but then she tries multiple times to put her sweater over the head and fails. Then she were…
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Gubble Bum, lizzie pooh, Markus
Has anyone heard from Gubble, Lizzie and/or Markus? I miss them and they’ve been in my thoughts and prayers. Thank you!
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Bible Verse to Lift You Up 4/14/21
GOD MADE THIS DAY * GOD THOUGHTS: Psalm 118:24 NIV “The Lord has done it this very day; let us rejoice today and be glad.” * VICTORY THOUGHT: If I choose thoughts that fill my heart with joy and inspire me to thank the Lord, my day will go much better. Even during days when everything seems to be going against me and what…
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How to handle move to memory care
My mother had a stroke ~ 6 months ago, several days before her 90th birthday. Prior to the stroke, she was slowing down but still living on her own and doing very well. The stroke affected her memory and threw her into instant dementia, which has been getting worse. My sister and I tried to take turns caring for her, but…
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FIL with dementia gradually moving into his bedroom
We chose a large house when we moved up to this area to care for my FIL with dementia. He has only wanted to sleep on the futon in the main family area. This is less than convenient for me for many reasons. We furnished a room with an attached bathroom for him, and he was not interested in sleeping there. Four months…
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In need of ideas
My mom 90 came to live with me five months ago, prior to that she lived with dad 87. Dad helped out at least one to two days every other week for the first couple of months. I stopped asking for his help when he would call after a few hours to pick her up, because he couldn’t deal with her outbursts (Alz hadn’t been…
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Respite(1)
It has been a struggle this past week to find respite care of my mom. The one time she went, the nursing staff neglected her severely chapped lips and a bunch of her clothes went missing (this is in Seguin). This week I called so many different places and none of them take medicare. Or they just don't call you back, which…
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Being told to contact hospice, but not sure why
My Dad is 83 and is being seen by the VA. After a phone call between my Mom and his nurse we were referred to Hospice. My Dad bounces from needing round the clock supervision to suddenly getting himself up dressed and moving around. Over the last two weeks we have had to see to all his needs, and we are getting up 5+ times…
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Not sure how long I can do this.
My parents are 2 of the sweetest people but right now I'm just angry and frustrated. Over 2 years of having them in our home. I take care of them primarily. I have a wonderful friend who takes them 3 days a week from 10-3 to her house and spoils them. Dad has dementia and parkinsons and mom has moderate alzheimers. she…
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J&J vaccine
J&J vaccine is being investigated regarding blood clot complications in a small number of recipients. There is a condition called antiphospholipid syndrome aka Hughes Syndrome, that causes mini clots and spontaneous miscarriages. It is very rare. I have this condition. My hypothesis is that some women with this…
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Dementia and Depression
Hi, I'm Mandy (I'm 41 and I'm new here). I'm struggling with my dad who has dementia and depression (he's 79). He started showing dementia symptoms in Sept. of 2020. We're still trying to get a diagnosis because he kept cancelling the appointment with the neurologist. We've switched everything so his phone number isn't the…