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I just want to thank all my caring supportive friends
It's so odd that this online community of caring souls is brought together to give one another encouragement and support eventhough we are all going through hell. My friends and family try to understand but only you folks here truly get it. Some days we can be so strong and others we are barely hanging on. I lurked for…
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Gentle, caring DH has become combative - now what?
My sweet DH, 77 yrs old, diagnosed with dementia 14 yrs ago moved to MC in July. Staff loves him due to his gentle demeanor and concern for others. However, he has become more combative when approached for showers, changing clothes and when redirected from doing something that could hurt him or others. Today he hit two…
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Altered taste, hearing and smell
DH is in the early stages and is constantly complaining about things smelling “different” or all his food tastes like crap. He is also complaining of not being able to hear very well. We have had a hearing exam with an audiologist, an ENT, and our primary. They don’t see anything. Is this part of the process? Have any of…
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Dreaming of the future
We spend so much time caring for our demented spouses. Our lives are turned upside down and inside out, being dragged down the rabbit hole with our spouses to "dementia land". Our days look so very different with more work than we can accomplish and little time for ourselves and our needs. My husband is sleeping more these…
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Selling A House
Somehow, my DW and I both manage to own a house here in CA. I have been managing the one that’s a rental, minimally, for the last 3 years or so. Part of the drop in paying closer attention to it is we moved and it’s now 5 hours away. I want to sell to my DWs stepdaughter and husband. It will give us cash for when she needs…
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DH put on in home hospice care
The long road is heading towards the end. I am trying to stay strong, but with each passing day, the road becomes more treacherous. Last night DH fell after getting out of bed in the dark. In the process, he lost control of his bowels, in his Depends. Hospice said to call 911 for a non emergency lift assist. This is the…
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Experience with Buspirone
DH is only on memantine right now, and I’m still on the fence about adding more meds, thinking that I should be able to adjust my behavior or triggers first. I mentioned anxiety at his last appt with PCP and they suggested buspirone as a med that is “on demand” rather than something that needs to be built up in the system.…
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Stage 6 - Memory Care?
My husband is stage 6. He dropped 7 points on his MMSE in one year. I’m seriously considering memory care. I’m concerned about finances. It says stage 6 averages 2.5 years. How long have yr LO’s stayed in stage 6? Do all become incontinent or can they skip that? DH doesn’t sit down all day, he has to be doing ‘something’.…
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Stepdad with Alzhemiers getting possessive
I am definitely looking for help and not sure what to do. My mom has stage 4 breast cancer and is at home on Hospice. She does not have much time left. My stepdad is also here and has late stage AZ. I have been trying to find a memory care facility for him, but I am not his power of attorney or next of kin so I am having…
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THE INSOMNIA AT STAGE 7
Hello to all, I am very sleep deprived at the moment, but wanted to post, Please excuse any bloopers. DH is having very restless nights. He has been on Seraquel 25 mg which has helped with mood , but not with sleep. So we are on a trial and error path for sleep med. The first one, Zyprexa was useless, Now switched to…
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I wrote this essay to help others after losing my father to a long battle with Alzheimer's disease.
After losing my father to a long battle with Alzheimer's, I wrote this essay to give a glimpse into this horrific disease, draw attention to the red flags and signs (there are many people at this very moment who have a family member with dementia and still do not realize it), and especially to help people navigate through…
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Hiw many spouses sleep in another room?
My DH gets extremely anxious and agitated, sundowning is in full effect at our house. My husband is up and down all night long. Good nights 15x, many nights 25+. I can't take care of him if I'm not getting any sleep. Dr tried respiridine and trazadine but they decreased his BP to critical levels, 70/50. Off those meds, BP…
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The realities of paying for M/C
I'm wanting to hear from those of you who have been down this road and are ahead of me on this journey. We are still maintaining at home for now. I would like to keep him home as long as he isn't violent or wandering but I a realist and know I need to have a back up plan. We aren't rich but both have pensions and SS. The…
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Looking for MC
It has been 11 days since my DH was admitted to the hospital. After 3 days, he was admitted to a Geriatric Psychiatric unit an hour away from our house. I go every day to see him and he wants to go home . He has no memory of his violence, but I am afraid to have him home. I have been looking for a decent available spot for…
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Needing support from my online "friends" who walk a similar journey.
I'm strong most of the time but feeling very vulnerable tonight. MCI diagnosis after neuro/psych testing many yrs ago. 2 strokes and 2 vascular surgeries later dr says likely VD. DH refuses further testing or medical evaluation. He's done. Don't blame him, its been a lot of tests that ruled out lots of things. He wants no…
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Big Move today!
After touring several memory care facilities, I found one that really seemed perfect. I am waiting now to hear that the transport is on the way! I moved his furniture into his room, yesterday, with the help of my son and sister in law. It looks cozy and homey, Now, to help him ease in without too much drama! It has been…
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Trigger warnings
Hi all, yesterday my LO with stage 4-5 received a late payment bill and spent 3 hours going through his papers and swearing he paid the bill even when there had been no check written or recorded. I have taken over ALL the bills except that one😝it was 3 hours of cussing, going back and forth to the mailbox. Finally at 10 PM…
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The Velveteen Rabbit
I posted this a long while back, but most of the people here now are new, so I thought it would be a good time to repost. When we were married, almost 46 years ago, the priest added this reading to our wedding ceremony from a children’s book, “The Velveteen Rabbit” by Margery Williams. My sister read it at the ceremony. I…
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Transitioning While Alert and Active
My LO 82 has Vascular Dementia and Alzheimer’s, heart failure, kidney disease, COPD AND asthma. The doctor said she is transitioning. She sleeps a lot, but talks normally, walks to the bathroom, and family room on her own, helps to bathe herself. Other than the sleeping a lot and memory loss, she seems normal. But says…
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Just need to vent : Last Days of Gene Hackman: ABC News Special
It is obvious that his spouse went to great length to protect his medical privacy and it was something she was quite successful at. I have great admiration for what she was able to accomplish. Protecting the dignity of my DW is priority #3 after her health and safety. It is not an easy thing to do. Now her reward for…
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Cost of Memory Care
I read yesterday that Memory Care is $115,000 a year. How can anyone afford that??!! and what are the alternatives?
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When to move to memory care
My wife periodically thinks I am her father from time to time. We can go days between the episodes, which can last until bedtime. Then she will wake up fine. My concern is that she will still recognize me from time to time after I move her. I will be absolutely heartbroken that I abandoned her. She does not wander, so I am…
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Vacation
My husband has moderate vd dementia. Prior to this dx, we bought a timeshare that I am still paying on. The idea of not being able to travel and use that is awful to me. I still work full time and have a companion with him most of the day. Our last vacation was when I saw a huge difference in him and he "lost" the memory…
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Retired military or spouse with Tricare
This is new coverage for members with Tricare insurance. For up to the next five years, TRICARE will cover Food and Drug Administration (FDA)-approved monoclonal antibodies (MABs) lecanemab (brand name Leqembi) and donanemab (brand name Kisunla), for the treatment of Alzheimer’s disease in patients with mild cognitive…
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There goes my hero ..... 😢
Hello and thank you for reading this, I'm sorry for such a long-winded post I had a longer message written up. However, I didn't know if anyone would read it. I don't have anyone in my life who has had any first-hand experience with Alzheimer's to ask any of these questions and I'm having a difficult time dealing with…
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Unusual Walk
We go for a mile walk every day weather permitting. Of late my LV who is 74 yrs old and physically very fit , has been walking “strange” of late. I am afraid she will trip and fall. Anybody experienced this ?
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Advice on Phone / Internet Access
Hi all. My mom was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s over a year ago and has been getting worse. She’s unfortunately extremely vulnerable to scammers online and has fallen victim to gift card fraud scams to the tune of 13,000 dollars since last July. We’ve had to take away her devices to prevent further contact with them. She…
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Advice welcome
It has been 2 years that I moved to a new apartment to take in my 83 yer old Mom. Of course it is challenging, as I also work from home. This is my first time posting, so forgive me, but any tips on the following are appreciated: Getting her to eat better and finish food (I do make sure she has at least 1 Ensure Max…
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Do we tell mom we're going to be selling her house?
My sister and I moved mom into an assisted living/memory care facility last August and we are now needing to sell her house to help pay for her care. She is probably in middle stages, but it's hard to pin down as I don't think it's straight up Alzheimer's, but more likely mini strokes. She has lots of confusion,…
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nonstop questions
Hi, I'm new here. Mom is in midstage of Alz, living with my DH and me for 6 weeks now. Doing okay with everything so far but the questions (every minute or so for a good part of the day) are wearing on us. They don't vary much and writing down the answers for her doesn't seem to help for long. She usually finds something…