-
The Right Answer
My Mom is in early stages of Dementia, lives along and is very stubborn. My sister and I are her care givers. We have seen her decline while making bad decisions. Our current situation is that she would like to go visit her friends in another state for a few weeks. She has visited early this past summer and things went…
-
Depression and Alzheimer’s
The last few months my mother has been really battling depression. She was on a mood stabilizer for awhile, but she wanted to stop that because it was causing her to feel tired all day long. Recently her neurologist prescribed an antidepressant called Auvelity. I’m hesitant to give it to her because of all the potential…
-
Zoom Group Meeting?
Is there any way we could all get together and chat on zoom maybe once a week, or every two weeks? I feel so absolutely alone, and I'm sure many of you do too. It would be nice to make friends with others who are struggling with the same collection of difficulties. I have a zoom link that we could all use. Anyone…
-
So Tired This Morning
Good gosh almighty how can we all do this. I am so tired today thank goodness I understand it comes and goes but today I’m tired and very short of patience even our little dog knows to leave me alone but now i’m sad about that. It was finally bed at 10pm, then DH wandering with every light on at 2am, slumber for me for an…
-
Loved one is pretending
Hello! Just frustrated today. I have caught my Mother-in-law pretending to shower a couple of times now! She turns on the water so I hear it running; she comes out with her "dirty" towels and throws them in the laundry, but when I check the towels are not or barely wet. Maybe she is doing a sponge bath but I doubt it. How…
-
Long distance care
My dad is in the advanced stages of dementia. My parents live in Germany, while I’m in Texas with my own family and young kids. My sister lives close to my parents and helps as much as she can, and my brother is a few hours away. But my mom is the primary caregiver—she’s with my dad 24/7, with only a few hours of outside…
-
Too old for this/too young for this
Newly diagnosed spouse of 40 years. He’s in denial, I’m in panic mode and end times mode. And it’s only just started. Twist? He doesn’t want any treatment. Anyone have any experience with no treatment? Or know how it may go?
-
Say something/Don't say something?
Background: I went through dementia with my husband so I'm aware of the brain changes that happen. I notice when something is suddenly "off". I have lived with my mom since my husband passed 3 years ago. She loves Christmas so we have done big time decorating for the grandkids. A year and a half ago we did a HUGE project.…
-
My parents are stubborn
Hi! This is my first post here. My dad has ALZ. I'm not sure what stage because his neurologist hasn't told us. He's progressing. My mom, my dad's caretaker is really struggling with accepting dad's behavior changes. My dad did a lot, all the driving, yard work, filled the car with gas etc. She's not a confident driver so…
-
Just sharing a positive/happy moment
We live in a very rural area, not close to any family, most friends have moved away or passed on. Our awesome next door neighbor just called to see if my husband would like to go watch him at his ju-jitsu class then stop for lunch after. This same neighbor took a day off work a couple of months ago to drive me to a doctor…
-
Baby Monitor, LifeAlert type necklace, or other option best for Mom with Alzheimer’s?
Short version of our situation: my sister, brother and I are caregivers for my Mom. She’s 7 years in now (4 years since official diagnosis). We live split across a duplex, and there’s usually at least one of us on call. We had been able to leave her by herself for a couple hours if necessary, but that may be changing. I…
-
Questions about memory care
My husband has been in a secure memory care unit for 3 weeks. It's noisy and the shared areas are crowded. About a third of the residents are non-verbal. There are 18 patients with a nurse and two CNA's. After lunch, everyone is told to go to the TV room where they seem to stay until dinner, unless they decide to take a…
-
Gulp. So new I hope I’m reading incorrectly
New diagnosis. Hubby. I’m reading posts saying seven years, nine years. Still dealing with new memory failings? Issues. I did just order that book someone suggested. I just don’t think I can handle all this. Is this with treatment that slows progression or without? Go ahead. I’m obviously very naive and have no clue right?…
-
The Clock Stopped
In the middle of a concentrated time of reviewing important documents (…and needing a break) I was interrupted with DW coming into the room upset because the clock "stopped again!" and her TV shows were all mixed up "I give up!" she said. I managed to not react and instead said kindly "Can you show me so that I can fix…
-
Her Signs In Stage 8
Over the course of the weeks leading up to my dear wife's passing. strange things kept occurring, signs if you believe, that she was providing. There were so many "coincidences" that we began to believe that was something more at play. I am uneasy even writing that here or saying it publicly. But, they continue. Images in…
-
Teaching Myself To Breath
As my wonderful DH’s VD and Aphasia progress I am trying to teach my self to sit still and just breath, gently and slowly in and out. This is a challenge and so hard as I have always been movement plus. I am also trying to use all the support that I have access to because as we all know the cavalry won’t come unless you…
-
MCI-- treatment with Lecanemab or Donanemab
This is my first post. I am a caregiver for my DW who was recently diagnosed with MCI with an APOE 3/4. We will be having an important discussion soon with a neurologist who is going to present us with the two possible treatment options of either Lecanamab or Donanemab; but we are quite fearful of the possible negative…
-
Patience...
…I'm out of it. I’ve heard it said that resilience is a virtue, and in my current position, I really need it to be. For the past three years, my husband has had an official diagnosis of Alzheimer’s, but looking back, I realize the signs were there for years before. I had no idea what I was getting into. Now that we're…
-
65 days in memory care
I haven't posted in a while, but I thought I would tell the story of my DH's adjustment to MC and ask you all a question. He had a very rough time for the first three weeks, then slowly began to adjust and to take part in activities which has progressed to him being fairly happy by six weeks or so. One of the reasons he's…
-
both parents recently admitted into MC facility and they keep falling constantly
Dear Community, My sister and I recently moved both my parents into the same facility and they share a small apartment. In the past 3 days, they have both fallen a combined 6 times. My father has experienced pain but my mother fractured the same shoulder she fell on a couple of months ago. In the past year, my mother has…
-
Trying to keep my sanity
Hi. I'm relatively new here. My DH was diagnosed a year ago with Alz., but I noticed changes about 3 years prior to diagnosis. I'm not totally unfamiliar with Alz. as I was my Mom's advocate in her last few years with it. She has passed, but I thank her for the practice I received ... not that anyone wants practice or any…
-
Steady decline …
Things are changing! Noticing a lot of little changes lately … choosing cookies for lunch over a sandwich, having a danish for breakfast instead of a protein, picking through his food taking out pieces of onion or peppers which he used to like, giving him his pj’s to change into and getting into bed with the same clothes…
-
Fairly new to this dementia thing...
Just for some background, my DH's geriatrician recently diagnosed him with vascular dementia, based on the fact that he had a stroke 3-1/2 years ago. At the time we were told that the only outcome of the stroke was aphasia (word finding difficulty). Since that time he has become disabled due to a bad fall resulting in a…
-
For any CALPERS retirees and caregivers of
We have been married for 37 yrs, my husband has had several strokes and has VD. Luckily his memory is still intact, he is capable of carrying on a conversation, understanding and can make his own decisions, albeit slow with his processing speed. I have always handled finances, bills, investments,etc. I thought I had taken…
-
Another Step Down
I can’t rant, my compassion and love for my DH is too deep but I just need to talk to those that understand. I had a friend say to me yesterday if you ever need to rant just call, so kind of her but I don’t need to rant I need to cry sometimes I’m just so sad about this debilitating disease. We have this wonderful…
-
Repercussions from shunt surgery.
My husband had a shunt put in for NPH (Normal pressure hydrocephalus) in July. Before that he had early Alzheimer’s dementia. After surgery, its a lot worse. We had to put door handle locks on the doors, shower & bathroom bars in the bathroom. He doesn’t remember anything. He makes things up, hallucinates. He’s losing his…
-
Still waffling on MC placement
After touring MC facilities for my plan B, I started thinking that maybe DH would be happier and better cared for if he was there. There are a few reasons for this which I won’t go into but I haven’t made a decision yet. I am not good at being decisive - ironically that was one of the things that attracted me to my DH at…
-
We need a Plan B
I lost a favorite neighbor this week. She was caring for a husband with Parkinson's but was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer three months ago. He is now in a nursing home with hospice, and her funeral was yesterday. We may intend to care for our LOs to the end, but God may have other plans. It is important to have a plan…
-
Anosognosia—When People Don’t Realize They’re Impaired
https://thedawnmethod.com/anosognosia-when-people-dont-realize-they-are-impaired/ The topic of anosognosia comes up regularly, particularly for people who are new here. It's confusing and confounding when your LO can't see their own impairment. I think this article is a good introduction. I hope it's helpful. People who…
-
Do we ever sleep?
Here it is at 4 am. Been up since about 2:30 am, not unusual at all. As I scroll through the threads here, now and then offering my two cents, I noticed the times of postings. Amazing number seem to be posted during the very late hours of the evening or during the overnight hours. Do we, as caregivers, ever sleep? I know…