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Arguments about travel that is unrealistic
This is such a wonderful forum full of caring people. I am struggling with a difficult topic with my DH and need suggestions. DH is diagnosed with vascular dementia but doc doesn't give other particulars. DH has a long list of comorbidities including heart failure, COPD, very high risk of falls including about 15 serious…
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He wants to see my list
I've been concerned about my DH moving into dementia for 5 years. It's been slow but seems to have speeded up. I keep a journal of behavior changes I've noticed. So, yesterday we had The Talk. I handled it very badly although I'm not sure what a good way would be. (We've talked about the possibility before but he doesn't…
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A Deeper Way
I read this today and thought I would pass it along. The words in parentheses are mine. Written by James L . Smaller in Flying Solo. “When I think about how I leaned on my wife (husband) , I have to say that her (his) support helped me function in some immature ways. Her (his) strength and support continued the illusion…
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ALZ, a time to laugh or chuckle, a time to cry
Just sharing a weird thing… DH in ES ALZ…We went to church and sitting in our usual aisle seat. ( I am immuno defecient so always try not to be between people). Some people wanted to be seated down the pew, so I bent my knees to the side to let them pass and DH flopped his legs up on the pew to let them pass. Yes, it's a…
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Altumview "touchless" sensors for fall detection, wandering, etc.
Anyone have experience with Altumview's service and device? It's not a pendant or a bracelet, but a device that monitors human activity (falls, leaving bed, wandering, etc.) and alerts you if something unusual occurs. It's like a camera, but converts people into stick figures in the video, so that you're not recording…
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Feeling defeated
I am new to this forum and after reading through other's posts, I finally feel validated and not alone. I am the caregiver for my Mom who was diagnosed with dementia 2 years ago. She has been living with me for approximately a year after needing more care than could be provided at the ALF she was living in. She has become…
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It's been almost 17 months since I lost Jan
I was reading last night in bed which I do every night for an hour or more til I get sleepy or can't see the darn print anymore. I started to get the coffee shakes so I got up and got a cup. At the kitchen sink I have a window and on both sides of it she has a big cat she made and painted. It was if I had never seen them…
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Insurance Company informed my Mom that I've been making medical decisions for her
Help. My mom was diagnosed with moderate to severe dementia in July. Since then, using the POA paperwork, I've been able to discuss her medication regimen with the geriatric pharmacists and have had long discussions with her geriatrician. Today when she called into Kaiser, (that is the name of the insurance company…
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I’m going to scream
When my mother was initially referred to a neurologist over the summer, they referred her to someone who didn’t have an appointment for several months(October). She made the appointment. In the meantime, they referred her to another doctor. We canceled the first doctor. Tests were done, meds were ordered. She has a follow…
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Memory Care, Early Retirement, or Keep Pushing On?
Hi Friends, it's been a while. For all the exhausted caregivers out there who are also still working to put food on the table, how many times a month (or a day) do you wrestle with this multiple-choice test? Should I give up and place my dear wife in memory care, so I have the energy to continue working? (Sacrifice $$ for…
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Figuring out my plan D
After spending the summer in several Geri-psych units, my DH is back at his memory care. He’s been on Seroquel and Risperidone, and is currently on Zyprexa. A week ago, Depakote was added. But the aggressive incidents continue. I’m concerned that his memory care placement is endangered. He is physically in good shape, so…
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Is palliative care a good option for someone with dementia?
My wife is in AL, recently moved from MC. She was aggressive and refused medication or seeing a doctor. I'm hoping to bring her home in a month, she is doing well on the meds in the facility. Is palliative care a good option?
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A few days ago things were manageable, but then the wheels fell off
My DH has had Lewy Body dementia for 4 years now. He is 85, I'm 75. Up until just recently, we've been doing pretty well. I was even able to leave him at home alone while I work (just 3-4 hours a day in the morning). A few days ago, it was like someone pulled a switch. He has always been very verbal, but now won't stop…
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Mom has day/night confusion
Hi, my mother w/dementia lives alone. She is mixing up her days and nights. For example, she called 2 am saying she's dressed and ready to go out for doctor appointment. How have you helped your loved one in this situation? She has the large digital clock that has the am/pm day/night displays.
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Considering moving in with parents
Hello, we are considering moving in with our parents because mom has dementia with anger and violent outbursts. Will she trust us more if we visit at regular times, or if we move in? She is quite paranoid of her husband already, hiding things from him. And he is the kindest most submissive man.
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Anger - not new but becoming absolutely untenable...
Fair warning: This is just a ramble and not particularly well written but I am desperate. My husband is hovering somewhere between the late early and early middle stage of Alzheimer's I'm guessing. I've seen everything from 3 to 7 stages or more of this agonizing disease and, frankly, I'm not sure the stage matters as…
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Uncomfortable with my feelings toward my LO
Hi fellow warriors, First I’d like to say that I know there is no answer to my situation but I need to at least vent. I am absolutely going crazy, which turns into self-loathing because I am not handling my situation at all well. I am deeply, deeply depressed. My DH and I have been on this journey for 7 years now. It’s…
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did I do the right thing placing him in MC
My husband was placed on a MC unit due to aggression. After two weeks he looks and sounds great. All he says is he wants to go home, part of me wants to take him home. It would save so much heartache and money, but I know it will all just start over again. He can't control it, can he. Should I bring him home. He's been…
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Going out to eat/ shopping
How many go out eat? We go out at least once a week usually at lunch.( we don't get up early enough to go out for breakfast HA! HA!)i will go anywhere my wife. My wife prefers fish (usually haddock) Today she had she had shrimp as camping i had spaghetti and meatballs and minestrone soup. Since COVID we do all of our…
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Delta-9 for aggression?
Has anyone had any luck with any type of cannibus dosing to help with agression. DH has FTD, and is in memory care. I'm afraid they will not allow him to stay if they can't get his defensiveness and agression under control. He's perfectly fine unless you try and make him do anything he doesn't want to do, i.e., shower,…
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Getting rid of stuff
DH still in the clearing out stuff stage. But now he has gotten to the point where he throws stuff away. He threw everything in our freezer in the basement away. Which wasn't much but… Now he wants me to get rid of blankets and towels. He thinks we have to many. Lol . I'm afraid I'm going to come home and find I have…
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Nightmare Experience
My DH, who has Parkinson's dementia and is totally disabled, started to deteriorate rapidly last week. He needs a tremendous amount of hands on care. He was becoming more agitated having paranoid delusions, and tried to leave the AL/MC facility. I had him evaluated for Hospice and he was admitted, and they left orders for…
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Advice needed
Hello, my husband has vascular dementia and is constantly ordering and demanding. hes constantly nagging me to do what he wants. immediately. i need to shorten his jeans so nagged again until i do them. i make sure the house is clean for him and he always has clean clothes. always got what he needs and wants. he explodes…
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alz...the disease that is full of surprises
DH, diagnosed in June with ES. I've done enough reading that I really shouldn't be surprised by anything but…He has had short term memory loss for a number of years but when I finally woke to the fact of his misuse of words was beyond normal, we got him checked. ES is supposed to have short term memory loss. I get it. But,…
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Memory Care to Skilled nursing journey
My DH had a fall 3 weeks ago at his MCF and they transported him to the hospital. I didn't want him to go because I knew most likely he wouldn't be able to return to the memory care unit. I know how these things work. Well, they've said he is not going to be able to come back there. So I'm looking at skilled nursing now. I…
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Help! Thoughts?
Hi everyone, First time posting for me. My dad has been having memory issues since about the beginning of 2023, he denied he had any issues and only went to a neurologist once his PCP sent him in the June of 2023. Of course it took time to get the appointment. We did testing in December and he started to get worse after…
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New antipsychotic just approved
this is an fyi, not sure how relevant, but was reading about a new antipsychotic just approved (I think brand name is Cobify perhaps?) with a novel mechanism of action that is being touted as a “game changer “ for schizophrenia and being evaluated for use in dementia related psychosis also. Apparently doesn’t have side…