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Memory Care, Early Retirement, or Keep Pushing On?
Hi Friends, it's been a while. For all the exhausted caregivers out there who are also still working to put food on the table, how many times a month (or a day) do you wrestle with this multiple-choice test? Should I give up and place my dear wife in memory care, so I have the energy to continue working? (Sacrifice $$ for…
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Figuring out my plan D
After spending the summer in several Geri-psych units, my DH is back at his memory care. He’s been on Seroquel and Risperidone, and is currently on Zyprexa. A week ago, Depakote was added. But the aggressive incidents continue. I’m concerned that his memory care placement is endangered. He is physically in good shape, so…
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Is palliative care a good option for someone with dementia?
My wife is in AL, recently moved from MC. She was aggressive and refused medication or seeing a doctor. I'm hoping to bring her home in a month, she is doing well on the meds in the facility. Is palliative care a good option?
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A few days ago things were manageable, but then the wheels fell off
My DH has had Lewy Body dementia for 4 years now. He is 85, I'm 75. Up until just recently, we've been doing pretty well. I was even able to leave him at home alone while I work (just 3-4 hours a day in the morning). A few days ago, it was like someone pulled a switch. He has always been very verbal, but now won't stop…
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Mom has day/night confusion
Hi, my mother w/dementia lives alone. She is mixing up her days and nights. For example, she called 2 am saying she's dressed and ready to go out for doctor appointment. How have you helped your loved one in this situation? She has the large digital clock that has the am/pm day/night displays.
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Considering moving in with parents
Hello, we are considering moving in with our parents because mom has dementia with anger and violent outbursts. Will she trust us more if we visit at regular times, or if we move in? She is quite paranoid of her husband already, hiding things from him. And he is the kindest most submissive man.
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Anger - not new but becoming absolutely untenable...
Fair warning: This is just a ramble and not particularly well written but I am desperate. My husband is hovering somewhere between the late early and early middle stage of Alzheimer's I'm guessing. I've seen everything from 3 to 7 stages or more of this agonizing disease and, frankly, I'm not sure the stage matters as…
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Uncomfortable with my feelings toward my LO
Hi fellow warriors, First I’d like to say that I know there is no answer to my situation but I need to at least vent. I am absolutely going crazy, which turns into self-loathing because I am not handling my situation at all well. I am deeply, deeply depressed. My DH and I have been on this journey for 7 years now. It’s…
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did I do the right thing placing him in MC
My husband was placed on a MC unit due to aggression. After two weeks he looks and sounds great. All he says is he wants to go home, part of me wants to take him home. It would save so much heartache and money, but I know it will all just start over again. He can't control it, can he. Should I bring him home. He's been…
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Going out to eat/ shopping
How many go out eat? We go out at least once a week usually at lunch.( we don't get up early enough to go out for breakfast HA! HA!)i will go anywhere my wife. My wife prefers fish (usually haddock) Today she had she had shrimp as camping i had spaghetti and meatballs and minestrone soup. Since COVID we do all of our…
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Delta-9 for aggression?
Has anyone had any luck with any type of cannibus dosing to help with agression. DH has FTD, and is in memory care. I'm afraid they will not allow him to stay if they can't get his defensiveness and agression under control. He's perfectly fine unless you try and make him do anything he doesn't want to do, i.e., shower,…
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Getting rid of stuff
DH still in the clearing out stuff stage. But now he has gotten to the point where he throws stuff away. He threw everything in our freezer in the basement away. Which wasn't much but… Now he wants me to get rid of blankets and towels. He thinks we have to many. Lol . I'm afraid I'm going to come home and find I have…
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Nightmare Experience
My DH, who has Parkinson's dementia and is totally disabled, started to deteriorate rapidly last week. He needs a tremendous amount of hands on care. He was becoming more agitated having paranoid delusions, and tried to leave the AL/MC facility. I had him evaluated for Hospice and he was admitted, and they left orders for…
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Advice needed
Hello, my husband has vascular dementia and is constantly ordering and demanding. hes constantly nagging me to do what he wants. immediately. i need to shorten his jeans so nagged again until i do them. i make sure the house is clean for him and he always has clean clothes. always got what he needs and wants. he explodes…
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alz...the disease that is full of surprises
DH, diagnosed in June with ES. I've done enough reading that I really shouldn't be surprised by anything but…He has had short term memory loss for a number of years but when I finally woke to the fact of his misuse of words was beyond normal, we got him checked. ES is supposed to have short term memory loss. I get it. But,…
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Memory Care to Skilled nursing journey
My DH had a fall 3 weeks ago at his MCF and they transported him to the hospital. I didn't want him to go because I knew most likely he wouldn't be able to return to the memory care unit. I know how these things work. Well, they've said he is not going to be able to come back there. So I'm looking at skilled nursing now. I…
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Help! Thoughts?
Hi everyone, First time posting for me. My dad has been having memory issues since about the beginning of 2023, he denied he had any issues and only went to a neurologist once his PCP sent him in the June of 2023. Of course it took time to get the appointment. We did testing in December and he started to get worse after…
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New antipsychotic just approved
this is an fyi, not sure how relevant, but was reading about a new antipsychotic just approved (I think brand name is Cobify perhaps?) with a novel mechanism of action that is being touted as a “game changer “ for schizophrenia and being evaluated for use in dementia related psychosis also. Apparently doesn’t have side…
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And that went well (not)
I often tout the use of fiblets and redirects here. However I failed miserably at that myself earlier today. Backstory: I saw Mom last Monday( brought groceries). Talked to her on Thursday. My son saw her Friday. She told him she hadn’t seen me in ages. I saw her on Saturday ( brought groceries). She told me ( in front of…
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Reflections and a new lease on life
Here I am almost seventy year’s old, living in a new state, with my husband residing in a memory care facility, our grandchildren busy in elementary school, and our kids working full time. It’s not been easy to make friends in this new locale as a senior. I’m lonely living alone. Since I’ve been swimming laps for two…
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Tips on Water Intake
Hi everyone! Happy (almost) fall :) I'm writing to ask if anyone has had any experience with their loved one not remembering to drink water. My mom has recently started on Lexapro to deal with her anxiety and depression, and I know from my own experience with Lexapro how dehydrating it is and therefore causes awful…
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My Mom and Lifelong best friend Dx with Alzheimer’s
My mom was recently diagnosed with Alzheimer’s. She has been my best friend and person my whole life. This disease has changed her personality, morals and values. I am only 50 and I miss my Mom and my person every day. I am so angry at her for having this disease, which I recognize is ridiculous. But I’m already grieving…
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TSA UGH! Airport Experience
I need to vent! DH with ALZ and I just got back from California visiting family. I expected some increased challenges due to travel but did not anticipate this one. DH was pulled out of line for “pat down.” search in San Francisco International Airport. I tried to tell them he might need me close by to help communicate…
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FTD Meet and Greet
I’m hosting Meet and Greet on behalf of the Association for Frontotemporal Degeneration in Middletown, DE on Saturday, October 26. I’ll post again as we get closer but save the date if you live in the Delaware/Philly/Eastern Shore area. It will be a great chance to meet and make friends with others on this journey.…
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Clothing
Hello, can anyone suggest a source for clothing that's easy to put on/take off? Especially the take off part. This morning I had to literally cut the back of his sweatshirt open with scissors. He's always cold and wears long sleeves but they are too hard to get off. Thanks for any advice!
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Redirection on Delusions
Hello my heroic, supportive, and likely exhausted friends. DWs waving at the people on tv has gone from sad/but kinda cute, to just sad. She now thinks they are waving to her and sometimes coming out of the tv into our house. I've found her hiding in the pantry from them yesterday. She also really thinks there are people…
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Bathing why it’s a struggle
I’m new to all this and the group. Yesterday was a bad day for me I have never reached out before but mum for the first time ever got so angry and nasty to me it was a shock never has she done this before in my whole life and I’m 52. All because I’m trying to get her to bathe. I hope and pray she doesn’t start to associate…