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Not My Home
Each evening after dinner, y LO Ned’s to go home for a wide variety and very creative list of reasons. Redirection or distraction does not work, it only delays the request until after…our daughters will come visit about the time we finish diner and as soon as we are done with the visit, she will request to go home. Most…
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Bathing, Shower design
Does anyone have any advice for designing/building a shower? We have a leak and are going to replace out tub/shower with an accessible shower. Should it have sliding doors or curtains? Where should the grab bars be located? Is a built in seat useful or better to have separate seat? He is still active but not so flexible,…
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Looking for feedback with early stage DW
My DW is 14 years my senior, 86, and is early stage dimentia (my diagnosis based on criteria from here) Her short term memory is very bad, can't keep day straight even for minutes. Asks same question multiple times a day (ex. son is visiting from out of town. "When is Cam leaving", 5 to 10 times a day). Also we used to…
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When to stop ?
Doctor says “Keep him active, mentally and socially. Keep him involved etc.” Well I’ve been doing this . Writing to do lists ( 2-3 things), trying to have conversations with him, asking for his advice opinion help. But now he gets annoyed when I ask him to do something or says I will and doesn’t do it. Then he complains he…
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Doctor appointments
Hi all, My mom (69) was recently diagnosed with Alzheimer's and I (28) am her caregiver. It's difficult being so young and trying to figure some things out on my own. I don't have any experience and no one in my family does either. I am learning as I go. Since my mom has started her diagnosis journey, she finds every…
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Fine, I'll cave ...
After 3 messes and running out of plastic bags I will cane and join the Blue Glove Club. I did learn this morning that I CAN clean the mess (corner of toilet, remove lid, wash sink and counter, hands 10,000 times get him showered and dressed and make it to work with one minute to spare.) Sit back and enjoy the read... My…
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New night time and early am behavior.
Not sure what to make of this. DH behavior has been quite manageable for quite awhile now. Lately I’ve noticed his become more irritable in the am with accusations that I’m awful and not helping him. Two nights in a row now, he wakes up after sleeping a couple of hours. Out of the blue he starts screaming at me for lying…
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Long Distance daughter but in town son
Hello, I am writing because I live over a thousand miles away from my mom who was recently diagnosed with dementia. I have been there twice in 6 months to get her settled in a facility, visit, etc. My brother lives about 2 miles away from her but does not go to see her very much. And every time I call her, she’s very upset…
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Moving to memory care
my DH has been diagnosed with declining Moderate Alzheimer’s. He is getting to be too much for me to handle emotionally, and I feel my own health is declining. He is 81 and I am 79. I have only one son to help me through this whole process. He and I have started arrangements to have him moved into 24-hour memory care. This…
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Just need to talk to my friends (195)
Hi. Thought I'd start 195 tonight so we can begin posting on it in the morning. Supposed to.be very windy tomorrow so will have to take down the flag so it won't blow away or break the flag pole. Hope you all get a good night's sleep. See you in the morning.
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Dementia family member & Theft
I would be very interested to know if anyone has found any - even short term - "tricks", methods, remedies to a dementia family member stealing. It was be sunglasses from a family member or just out in the open someone's personal item on a table when they aren't looking. Not ill-meaning or strategic, simply can't help it.…
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How to become a provider for my Dad
This is a long story short. New to this. Dad has Dementia pretty bad and wife kicked him out 2 weeks ago. Us kids have been trying to care but super hard with this new lifestyle for him. The other day he fell at my sister's and we were in the ER for 2 days. He was transferred to a rehabilitation facility. He hates it. I…
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mini moments and self talk / inner dialog
Hi community, I am reminding myself that Alzheimer's is what has changed dad's living situation and opportunity for more freedom. It's Alzheimer's that he's actually upset about. That anger and frustration just gets pointed at me. Alzheimer's is why he didn't realize the help he needed. It's also why he couldn't organize…
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Need immediate support
Hi everyone, I am in need of some immediate support, advice and good vibes! Today was the day that I was to move my dad into the very nice AL community that I had secured for him. However, he has had a few people filling his head with BS, and further convinced him that he is fine and they will "take care of" him, which is…
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So strange how their mind works...
We'll never know what's really going on in their mind…sometimes I write down the occasional really strange behavior but yesterday's was a doozy. DH went out the front door to check out what's going on like he always does. He came back in the house holding a dead rabbit! So I'm kind of freaking out and I tell him to go put…
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thinking of her
Tonight I'm sitting here in my recliner, half lit on bourbon, while my wife of 53 years sleeps on the couch next to me. I started thinking about how caring for her 24/7 has become my routine, and how much I miss some of the seemingly simple things she used to do for me… She would cook these tasty little yellow potatoes…
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Alternatives to Driving
Hi Everyone, this is my first post here. I read a lot of the past conversations on driving, but have what I think is a twist on the question. My best friend's husband was just diagnosed with Early-Onset Alzheimers in his 50's, and like many is having problems accepting that he can no longer drive. My question is about the…
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How to Parent a Parent: When They Need Help But Think They Are Fine
Hi, all, My mother has always been a huge extravert. But as her Alzheimer's progresses, she's starting to become more socially isolated and doesn't like meeting new people. She's also kind of "moody" at times and sometimes doesn't even want to talk with her friends. We're no longer comfortable with her being home by…
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In Home help
We had an incident last week: I left my husband alone for 90 minutes while I ran errands and when I returned he had either allowed a total stranger into our house to "view something" in the backyard or he hallucinated the entire episode. Then this week his diagnosis was changed from mild cognitive impairment to early…
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Communication
We are so frustrated. I don’t always know how to help him. My husband tries really hard to start a conversation with me or express a concern or fear he has. Sometimes I can only pick out a couple of words. I have no idea what he is trying to tell me. Sometimes I can read between the lines and go with my gut on what he is…
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Decisions
so my dad has a general diagnosis of dementia. Friends are telling me I should bring him to a neurologist. I believe he’s in a moderate stage. I don’t see the purpose of discovering what kind of dementia? It’s so disruptive to take him out of his home in memory care and to appointments. Weighing the pros and cons.…
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Books that were recommended to me
The Social Worker, Tessa, at The Memory Center Clinic (Dept of Neurology) at the University of Chicago Medicine recommended these 2 books to me, at Ray's appt last Fri. Have any of you checked these out? I read the reviews over at Amazon.com. I ordered these. I'm a retired dinosaur RN. "Travelers to Unimaginable Lands" by…
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LO keeps asking how long he will be visiting
Hi everyone, Traveling with my LO and he has asked several times how long he will be visiting. I said about a week. He will actually be staying permanently. I am trying to come up with a go around but need some help. Anyone?
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Everywhere at the end of time
“My dearest wife, is this how the world seems to you? Dear God in heaven.” “Everywhere at the end of time,” a six-album recording by Leyland Kirby “The Caretaker,” was released over a three-year period between 2016 and 2019. It is an art-music creation that takes the listener though the stages of Alzheimer’s and dementia,…
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Additional ‘care’ still needed in memory care?
My father is likely entering ‘early-late’ stage. He is still mobile with a walker but increasingly unsteady with difficulty getting on his feet. He can get to and from the bathroom and is primarily continent during the day though he can often have accidents. Incontinent during the night. But the biggest change I’ve noted…
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Baby Doll or Fidget Blanket
My Sweet mom is in a nursing home and is beginning to fidget with her hands. She likes to try to fold her clothing protector, and my one sister wants to get her a baby doll. My other sister suggests a lap blanket with things on it for her to play with. Does anyone have any thoughts on which is better? Thank you!
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Sensitive situation
this topic I have not seen anywhere on this sight and am somewhat hesitant to bring it up. My DW has become very sexual To the point that it takes a big piece of the day. I was wondering if anyone else has had this situation and how to handle it. I just don’t want it to become so bad that it occurs at inappropriate times.…
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Things to keep my LO moving
Hello all, Recently brought my LO back home with me. We made it! Then I got sick and haven’t been feeling great but getting better. I wanted to know if anyone has any ideas to get my LO moving. I work from home and because I have been sick we haven’t done much. My LO doesn’t generally get up early so once he does I would…
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Recently Diagnosed MCI - Questions Posed
Invite your thoughts on my take on MCI diagnosis: having been diagnosed with MCI and experiencing what seems to be a downward progression, having researched pretty thoroughly it seems to me that the best thing(s) I can do are: (a) exercise daily; (b) stay engaged with others - i.e. don't isolate; (c) pursue natural…
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I'm newly diagnosed and scared
Hello, I am not new to this site as I was a caregiver to my mom who had dementia. She died in June of 2017, and now I have just been diagnosed with early onset. I'm only 51 and I'm scared because I've seen first-hand what dementia does to a person and to their family and I am just terrified. It's hard to talk to my family…