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Tips for the dreaded move to memory care
I’ve finally made the decision to move my beloved husband to a memory care center. I’m so overwhelmed with grief and just getting through the actual process. Can anyone offer me advice for how you actually get your spouse to the facility and what to tell them. My husband still loves me dearly even though most of the time…
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Blame!
I don’t know if other caregivers have this issue but I am having a tough time handling it. DH with ALZ has mild cognitive impairment with very short memory. Every single time he makes a mistake, he blames me. He recognizes the mistake but seems compelled to make it my fault. I don’t chastise him for his mistakes so, I…
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More intensive home care or a nursing home?
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Impatience
Feeling like a monster, I have no patience today. It’s a rare day with no appointments for DH or crucial business to take care of and I want to do literally nothing for at least a few hours. Feeling guilty and being snippy with DH’s forgetfulness. I want him to just go do his own thing but I know he sees my impatience and…
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Gabapentin mimics dementia symptoms
Just wanted to let everyone know if you take Gabapentin for nerve pain, etc. it causes symptoms that mimics Alzheimer's. So much so, that I was 99% sure I had it (also have family history with the disease). Been off Gabapentin for three months now and am feeling much better. If you need help with nerve pain, maybe your…
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suggestions for incontinence underwear
I know it's been discussed elsewhere, but in my overwhelm I am not finding it. Can someone recommend a brand of women's incontinence underwear that Mom will think are real underwear? Soft, thin but absorbent feel like fabric not paper? And, then of course… where is the place to buy them? Thank you so much!
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Making prompting or cueing work
Prompting or cueing is defined as "Prompting refers to giving a verbal, physical, or gesture cue to indicate what the person with dementia is expected to do next". https://www.brookdale.com/en/brookdale-life/blogs/2021/use-the-prompting-technique-with-loved-ones-with-dementia.html I try to use that with a PWD when…
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Cat Naps
My BF (EOA 45YO) has been taking small naps during the day. When we r watching tv. If he watches it. He will stare out the back window looking at the birds and squirrels. I guess you can say I'm in denial. I don't wanna loose him. I want him to stick with me till we are old and gray. I want plus to have at least one child…
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How to introduce bringing in help
,About a year ago now, we moved my mother and father into an apartment I had built for them on one side of my home when I built a new home a few years ago. It's attached, just a separate wing/area with a door to the inside (not the outside). My 84 year old father is fully able to take care of himself, but he has his own…
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Stage 6c and sleeping most of the time (is it ok???)
My father is in stage 6c Alzheimer's :( he sleeps most of the day and night. Advice on what to do plzzz he seems comfortable and says he is getting a good rest. I don't think he is aware of how much he is sleeping. HELP :(
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My fiance has early onset Alzheimers. He is 57.
Hello, My fiance was diagnosed with early alzheimers when he was 54. It has progressed since then. He is now 57 and his speech is not good and gets confused a lot. I don't feel the medication he is slowing it down. He is on galantamine and mentanine. Any suggestions would be helpful. Angela
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Love
I've never seen anyone share pictures on here but I really want to share this! My DH had a terrible dream. So our sweet dog, Betsy, cuddled up with him. Made him feel lots better. He is back to sleep 🧡 Life is peaceful at this moment and I am grateful.
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Help! Cannot get my 190lb husbsnd into his hospital bef
any ideas? He is stage 6 snd can barely walk. Tonight he is sitting in his wheelchair snd will not let me assist him into his hospitsl bed at home. What do I do? Any ideas? He is double incontinent and is sitting soiled clothes. Do I call Parsmefics for lift assist?
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different MC for different stages
I am exploring MC facilities and right now looking at the more elaborate ones that say they have various activities (and many do). My question is this: if you place your person in one facility and then a year later they have deteriorated to the point where they basically sit and do nothing, or worse, are bed ridden, can…
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Trying to figure out what I need to know and how best to help my in-laws
Hello all. My MIL was recently diagnosed w/ vascular dementia; her behaviors have moved into stage 4. My FIL is her primary caregiver. They moved to our state 16 months ago so as to have family nearby. I barely knew them before that time but have since then become very involved (frequent visiting, keeping records,…
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Early onset VD/Alzhiemer’s
Hi all, glad I found this community. I haven’t met anyone I can relate to about my situation and it would be nice to have someone to talk to that understands. I brought my mother to the hospital the day before her 59th birthday because she was barely able to walk, could only move one eye, stroke-like symptoms. When she…
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First Post- Introducing Myself
Hi Everyone- I'm posting for the first time. Thanks all for being here! My wife has had a long and slow onset of AD symptoms over the past 8 to 10 years or so. It's hard to know if some of the odd behaviours 10 years ago were due to the AD, but I sort of think so. Over these years I've discussed my concern over her memory…
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Looking for a good elder care attorney in Long Beach
Hello, I am looking for a good, reasonably priced Elder Care Attorney so that I can be the POA and MPOA for my LO. We were trying to get his POA and MPOA notarized but, he got confused and forgot why he was there, so, the APS were called on us. We were called by them to let us know that that is what has happened. The…
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A Circle of Care
My wife of 57 years passed away three months ago after several years of progressing through the Alzheimer's disease. I thank the members of this website for providing invaluable support and ideas on how to cope. I know what many of you are feeling. Early on I started developing what I called a Circle of Care—people that I…
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When he can't stand up anymore
My dad is 81 with dementia and heart failure. He is in hospice at home. My mom (81) and myself ( I'm 50 and have severe treatment resistant depression and physical disabilities) care for him. Twice a week a nurse comes to check on him for 15 min. He is no longer able to walk; he can stand briefly with a walker so we can…
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If I had only known
If I had only known when we went to bed on January 18th that that was the last night we would ever sleep in the same bed, I would have cuddled up as close to him as I could and held him close. Instead, I slept on my side of the bed and he slept on his. Oh we said , "I love you" like always but if I had known, I would have…
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Just need to talk to my friends (197)
It's been a hot, humid day in Oklahoma. We reached about 97 with heat index of 100 with more hot days to fo!low. Summer in Oklahoma is not always pleasant because of the humifity. I know the temperatures were higher when I was growing up but humidity was lower. They built Lake Eufaula which raised it and now this area is…
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Emotional Intelligence and One Other "Weird" Quirk
I'll be completely calm and basically lethargic (since I'm always exhausted), and my mom with MD will suddenly snap at me about how "wound up" and nervous I am and that I'm making her crazy. She won't let it go. By then, I usually AM wound up and nervous! I know that it's important for her sake that I don't get overly…
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T-PAU217
just wondering if your LO had this blood test as part of the AD diagnosis process.
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Rough Night
Thursday night turned from a peaceful evening into a crisis when the MC called and said DH was banging on the doors with his fists, yelling, and hitting the doors with his walker trying to exit the unit. They said he was going to hurt someone so they were sending him to the ER. That was a little after 6:00 PM. I had just…
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Too good to be true
So finally got mom moved into ALF. The move day was brutal, very emotional. But she adapted so easily. Made friends, was never in her Apt. Out at dominos, bingo, happy hour the movies... talked to anyone who would listen how she loves it. Too busy to call me ( thank you) she is thriving. She got sick (bad cold) a few days…
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Tough times
So, to add to all that is going on in our lives, our 12 year old dog has been diagnosed with terminal cancer. He has just a couple of days to live. DH, who has already had such a hard time is asking such weird questions. Where are the other adults at dinner (it's only the two of us)? Where are the other dogs (we only have…
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In home help
Tomorrow I will be talking with an agency that will provide in home help for my DH so I can do so many needed things that I have been putting on hold since his diagnosis in January. I have been utilizing family and friends to spend time with him when i have appts or do something socially, but some of his needs are more…
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Advance Directive for Dementia
I saw some brief mention in this forum of an Advance Directive for Dementia but not a detailed discussion on how frequently people use it. It is used as a supplement to a standard advance directive. It is not legally binding, and is also a very uncomfortable thing to perform (e.g. do not prolong life), so I have a feeling…
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