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New name, old member
I've been around a while. Formerly known as dutiful deb, I spent a decade caring for my mom. I felt that with the new change of caregiving roles, it was fitting to alter my screen name. I also value my privacy and wanted to remove any identifying marks. It's been a long time since I posted here. My mother passed away 6…
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death, aftermath, touching back down to earth
Hi everyone, I always had the intention of returning to this forum and all of you once I'd had some space to process my grief. But it turns out, I don't think my brain is processing it! Unless it is.. and I just don't know it. I was wondering if posting here would help unlock the box of grief my brain has been quietly…
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New member
end.
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One or none (zero) items is easier to deal with
I noticed that a mid-stage PWD may have an easier time with only one item (let's say it's a box of cereal) or none at all. Let's say there's an half empty box of cereal, so you bought a new one and put it next to it. PWD would take the full one, and try to refill the half empty one with it. It won't fit, so you end up with…
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Was I living under a rock?
I guess this is just a vent, but the feelings of betrayal and heartache are very real. My DH and I have been married 46 years. He has been in MC for the last two months. I always knew he had a negative side and some behavior that was questionable, but for the most part he seemed to be a normal husband and father before…
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Mom getting scammed
My mom has been dealing with dementia for a couple of years. It has progressively gotten worse. Supposedly the more times they have gone under anesthesia it can speed up dementia. She went under 3 times last year. But even before that she had issues with scammers. She lives in an AL. I have had my hands full from time to…
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Working Still
Hey all. In a week, I turn 58. A few days later, I'll have been in this new job for a year. We moved and I took on this new job with so much hope. Hope my DW was dealing with an elevated level of anxiety and stress due to long term caregiving of her mother and father with dementia and then both of their deaths. Hope that…
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News from UsAgainstAlzheimer's
Michael Ellenbogen sent me quite a bit of news from this important Alzheimer's organization. I just picked out a few of the stories. Meet the women of UsAgainstAlzheimer's As part of Women’s History Month in March, we released four videos shining a spotlight on some of the incredible women who are driving change through…
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Feeling pain
My dad, 88, with VD, had back surgery and fractured pelvis. He initially was given strong narcotics but developed delirium in the hospital. So he was just given Tylenol. He hardly complained about pain and didn't even request the Tylenol while in hospital and rehab. The physical therapist said that his pelvis fractures are…
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Revisiting Staging Tool - noticing the (shocking) Caregiver info
Here is the 7 Stages of Dementia Behavioral Assessment Tool (DBAT) from Tam Cummings that has given the most accurate info for me. However, I only skim it. I review it every so often to see where we stand on progression, and to clarify my thinking on what may be happening with DH that I can address to make the day go…
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Options for noisy environment
My FIL is very sensitive to noise. When he is woken up (from the noise down the hall) he gets very agitated. Today he was woken and became violent with the caregiver and hit her. He is now in the emergency room and they want to do tests and keep him over night. My question is this. Has anyone had to deal with this before…
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Harmless behaviors
As with most families we have our favorite coffee cup, seat at the table, bath towel we use etc. I’ve noticed lately that DH has been using my towel, sitting in my seat at the table using my coffee cup, even eating my leftover takeout that he use to not like 🤷🏻♀️ Just wondering if anyone else has experienced this kind of…
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Diagnosis
I am caring for my husband. We have been to a neurologist twice. At the initial visit, the doctor ordered a sleep study, blood work, MRI, did several tests, and interviewed him. The sleep study confirmed significant apnea, blood test showed Lyme disease, and MRI was "unremarkable". I was encouraged to think that the…
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Need legal advice/support
I am a caregiver/friend/partner to my 84yr ex-lover who was diagnosed with ES stage dementia several years ago. Another friend of my ex who has been her property manager for maybe 40 yrs put an alert on one of my friend's bank account. Once that happened, Adult Protective Services got involved and had an emergency court…
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Quetiapine
I have mentioned here before that my DH has been taking Quetiapine at night only. This past Sunday, I noticed that he was restless so I gave him a pill in the afternoon. It seemed to work in the reverse. Made him more delusional and very agitated. On Monday and Tuesday, I gave him dosages in the afternoon and the delusions…
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What should I expect and how soon
Hi. My mom is 79 years old and is a dementia patient. She has recently lost her ability to realize that she needs to urinate or poop. She does all of it in diapers and it's a nightmare to clean her up....as she gets angry, does not want to cooperate or listen while I clean her up. I am paranoid about her hygiene. Her…
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Memory loss in my husband and change in personality
I am new to the group. My husband has not been diagnosed, he refuses to talk to his doctor, but he forgets things right after we spoke about them. But my biggest concern is his mood changes. He becomes so angry with me about anything and everything I seem to do. And the next minute he is back to his old self. I really just…
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Need advice
My 94 year old father just passed away and my soon-to-be 94 year old mother has been with me for the past 3 weeks. She has dementia. My dad and I had shared caring for her. Now it’s just me, with no family nearby. I’ve had very little sleep while my father was hospitalized and then here in hospice. I’m hoping I’ll have…
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Mental health service for caregiver
I am noticing that developing or picking up some of my Maggie dementia related behavior. Where can I find mental health professionals who specialize in dementia and caregivers?
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Incontinence help!
My DH has been urinary incontinent since December 2023. I have tried everything, every overnight product on the market (yes parentgiving as well), doubles, extra pads, 5 washable bed protectors for leaking. I have pretty much stopped the leaking to the bottom sheet with the 5 washables BUT the top sheet is wet every day,…
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Just an update on DB
I've had a busy couple of weeks preparing for my home to be painted, having it painted, and now starting the process of moving things from the garage back in to the house. The weekend before the painting I asked DB to come over and help with the prep work, especially gathering up my e-waste and taking it to the local…
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Absent wife
Hi everyone! I'm having great great difficulty coping with my precious wife of 61 years being in a memory care facility suffering from dementia
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Sleeping
Hi Everyone…. Aside from Seroquel is there any other medicine for dementia patients that helps them sleep through the night? Thanks = )
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delusions?
Hi. I am the care-giver for my father since Christmas. He has had memory issues for several years and has never been diagnosed with Dementia or Alzheimers. I'm pretty sure he has one or the other. Anyway, for years he has been complaining about bugs on his recliner. He went so far as to get a new chair, it's leather. He is…
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Cheryl Wirth, transfer mom 93 with dementia to assisted living
I’ve been taking care of my mother at her house at night and my house during the day . I have become cranky and losing my patience more . I am 72 years old . Have put in application for assisted living memory care home . Do you have any suggestions on how to make the transfer as smooth as possible . I’m sure she will be…
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How to deal with an abusive parent with dementia
Hi everyone, I am new and am glad to be here. My 92-year-old mom has mid/late-stage dementia. She was verbally abusive (and sometimes physically) most of my life. I am now 52 and have had counseling over the years to deal with her abuse. However, she now has mid/late-stage dementia and is getting both physically and…
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Mother-in-law with Alzheimer's diagnosis refusing treatment/diagnosis
Hi all, I am new to this forum. My mother-in-law was diagnosed with early stages of Alzheimer's about nine months ago. Since then, it has been an uphill (upmountain?) battle. She has refused to accept the diagnosis and will not return to see her neurologist despite MRI and cognitive confirmation of the disease. She has…
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My Biopsy for EO was positive
I am 54, my died at age 56. Trying to navigate how many years will I have? Lumbar puncture is being scheduled today. I'm scared. Memantine has been started.
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Dietary Changes/Scientific Study Very Promising
This is definitely worth exploring. Scientific study by a proven leader in lifestyle-based medicine.
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Does aggression and agitation fade as the disease progresses?
My DH is 68 - Alz diagnosis after PET scan and MRI and testing - has been highly agitated for months. I had locks on all our doors and gates as he was constantly trying to get out and would become very angry with me as his "jailer". He could have moments where he was sweet, but after needing 911 to help get him inside…